What's a Submissive to Do?

[saw_man1]

BB,
As long as you can see some light at the end of the tunnel, then by all means stay the course!

 

[ltnsfr007]

It would make more sense to me if some of this were true but I believe that it is not...well all but the palying with someone else. I do believe that he has a vanilla gal but will not discuss her more than to say she is a friend.

There has been no witholding of intimacy and his preformance is no less than phenomenal but damn the man is playing hard to get or something like it. He calls and teases me to the point of near full arousal and than tells me he'll see me in a couple of days.

But...on a brighter side since posting and reading the responses I have come to realize that there has been much more D/s in our relationship than I realized. Patience has never been one of my greatest skills but I'm working on it.

d

Sounds like maybe you gots the wrong guy BB
(can't change people)

 

[saw_man1]

mini hijack --
"this is your only life, your one and only life."

Another mini hijack
Thank God for friends and their good advice, as opposed to their lousy advice. It was similar advice from the first girl I ever loved that changed and probably saved my life. I was an extremely angry and violent young man. My best friends were afraid of and for me. As the summer after high school came to a close she was headed off to college in another state. She sat me down and tried to explain to me that life was a one shot deal, there are no do overs. That simple and yet profound advice changed my life.

As an epilogue; in an impromptu poll at my 25th high school reunion, which I was not able to attend, I was voted the person they were most surprised to see still alive and doing well.

 

[Pure]

[Added: Note to Blushing and babies]

what i don't understand [Added: Blushing and] babies, is why you think he's a dominant?

and what makes you think he's an experienced dominant?

do you know anyone with whom he's been in a relationship? in a non-vanilla relationship?

[Added: these questions primarily reflect my lack of info about Blushing. but they apply perhaps also to babies. and any other subs whose alleged 'dom' partners aren't panning out as such.]

 

[babiesmiles]

what i don't understand babies, is why you think he's a dominant?

and what makes you think he's an experienced dominant?

do you know anyone with whom he's been in a relationship? in a non-vanilla relationship?

Sorry if I misunderstood but are you referring to my n. 9 post ?

 

[Pure]

hi babies, note to blushing,

babies, i was referring to your post number 9, yes,

but i see that the greater problem/question is about Blushing's postings 1 and 3 and perhaps i should have addressed her, primarily.

you, i take it have a person whose domination is very slowly taking shape, also, and you are offering that possible parallel to blushing, to encourage her in sticking it out, on grounds that her dom is gradually asserting his domination.

so blushing, i've re worded my questions to include, indeed focus on, you: why do you think the guy's a dom?

 

[cfuhrer]

OTOH, I am wary of discouraging inexperienced submissives from seeking outside advice about a new relationship. There are too many abusers, poseurs, and plain old incompetent boobs running around for me to feel comfortable telling an inexperienced sub that she's being insolent or wicked in doing so.

I totally and completely agree and further more, this is an anonymous on-line board built for those seeking support, advice, etc. I would think this is quite possibly the single most appropriate place...
lets also not forget BB's original post, if memory serves, asked how best to broach the subject with her Dom.

 

[babiesmiles]

babies, i was referring to your post number 9, yes,

but i see that the greater problem/question is about Blushing's postings 1 and 3 and perhaps i should have addressed her, primarily.

you, i take it have a person whose domination is very slowly taking shape, also, and you are offering that possible parallel to blushing, to encourage her in sticking it out, on grounds that her dom is gradually asserting his domination.

so blushing, i've re worded my questions to include, indeed focus on, you: why do you think the guy's a dom?

Ok Pure I am sorry for the specification but I was afraid the question was not referred to my post . Anyway I am going to add some word more related to your question .

As you right said my post was just aimed to tell my experience and make a kind of parallel and not to ask any question or advice on the particular subject , as I am rather fine with my present situation and with the quiet slow pace of my D/s relation.

The occasional frustration due most to my native impatience doesn't mean I complain about the rhythm that my relation has assumed . As you acutely said above Master's domination towards me is slowly "taking shape" .

Our D/s relation but not his being Dominant , I am sure he is Dominant and he is rather well known in his entourage I didn't talk with any of them but I know for sure that it is the truth . I have my sources !
After all I am new to BDSM but not naive and inexperienced of life at all .

The fact he understood that the pace he is following with me is "right" for me to feed gradually my awareness doesn't mean his lack of experience or any form of insecurity in his skills, desires and intentions .

On the contrary this slow pace transfers to me a great sense of safety and trust cause I deeply feel my time to blossom at this "lifestyle" ( forgive me the word but I am not able to find one better just now ) is coming soon, and I also know the reward wil be worth the waiting .
And these feelings can just ease the future evolution of the relationship.

We are planning to meet soon again and I know his Domination towards me is making an actual steep ahead , cause he" knows " I now have acquired the phisychal and mainly mental tools to bear and understand what we are going to do and experience together.

He just thinks , and I truly agree, that the former Dominant for a submissive has a great deal of responsability cause he and his behaviours leave a sort of "imprinting "on these very first experiences which can influence the whole development of a submissive's way to interiorize the whole BDSM world.

However thank you for taking the time to read my post and address me some questions whom I hope I have answered to making any form of sense.
Your opinions are always appreciated and your posts deep and relevant .

If you find I didn't make any sense above , blame the late time and my poor knowledge of English languages .

 

[alice_underneath]

As you right said my post was just aimed to tell my experience and make a kind of parallel and not to ask any question or advice on the particular subject , as I am rather fine with my present situation and with the quiet slow pace of my D/s relation.

Babiesmiles,

I read your posts on this thread with great interest and sincere delight. Your Master sounds absolutely wonderful, and I am very happy for you.

Best wishes for continued joy in the relationship,
Alice

 

[babiesmiles]

Babiesmiles,

I read your posts on this thread with great interest and sincere delight. Your Master sounds absolutely wonderful, and I am very happy for you.

Best wishes for continued joy in the relationship,
Alice

Thank you Alice

 

[Blushing Bottom]

A Little Update

Again I thank you all for your input and insights. At long last I now understand the path I am on with my newest Dom. He is about controling the mind after which he says the body will follow. He has expalined in dynamic detail just how dominant he has been with me these past 9 & 1/2 weeks (ironic eh?) and I was able to grasp his concepts and feel much better now that I know my place...well learning my place that is. I was given a peek at how our play will formulate last night when he brought a video over and told me to watch carefully as I will play the roll of the submissive one day soon. Breathless is all I can say for how I felt after viewing the video. If he does to me what the Dom did to his sumbissive in the video I will be ruined for all other Doms. Oh well I did after all, ask for it.

d

 

[Ebonyfire]

Again I thank you all for your input and insights. At long last I now understand the path I am on with my newest Dom. He is about controling the mind after which he says the body will follow. He has expalined in dynamic detail just how dominant he has been with me these past 9 & 1/2 weeks (ironic eh?) and I was able to grasp his concepts and feel much better now that I know my place...well learning my place that is. I was given a peek at how our play will formulate last night when he brought a video over and told me to watch carefully as I will play the roll of the submissive one day soon. Breathless is all I can say for how I felt after viewing the video. If he does to me what the Dom did to his sumbissive in the video I will be ruined for all other Doms. Oh well I did after all, ask for it.

d

See? Patience is a virtue! Good luck to you!

Eb

 

[@}-}rebecca----]

Again I thank you all for your input and insights. At long last I now understand the path I am on with my newest Dom. He is about controling the mind after which he says the body will follow. He has expalined in dynamic detail just how dominant he has been with me these past 9 & 1/2 weeks (ironic eh?) and I was able to grasp his concepts and feel much better now that I know my place...well learning my place that is. I was given a peek at how our play will formulate last night when he brought a video over and told me to watch carefully as I will play the roll of the submissive one day soon. Breathless is all I can say for how I felt after viewing the video. If he does to me what the Dom did to his sumbissive in the video I will be ruined for all other Doms. Oh well I did after all, ask for it.

d

Whoa........ Video title please BB and I mean this quite seriously

 

[DVS]

Again I thank you all for your input and insights. At long last I now understand the path I am on with my newest Dom. He is about controling the mind after which he says the body will follow. He has expalined in dynamic detail just how dominant he has been with me these past 9 & 1/2 weeks (ironic eh?) and I was able to grasp his concepts and feel much better now that I know my place...well learning my place that is. I was given a peek at how our play will formulate last night when he brought a video over and told me to watch carefully as I will play the roll of the submissive one day soon. Breathless is all I can say for how I felt after viewing the video. If he does to me what the Dom did to his sumbissive in the video I will be ruined for all other Doms. Oh well I did after all, ask for it.

d

OK, fine. But, isn't 9 & 1/2 weeks long enough to wait? I don't think anybody discounted what you thought of him, but just waiting for this long seems so...long. But, it's your situation, and if you're happy with it, I have no reason to question it. And, like Eb said...patience is a virtue. I hope you've found the Dom you're looking for.

On a bit of a side note...has he hinted at all as to when this next phase of your training is to start? I was just going to listen for a primal scream of satisfaction, when he finally gets down to the nitty gritty. Shit, it could register on the Richter Scale.

 

[Marquis]

Don't drink the kool-aid.

 

[Kajira Callista]

Again I thank you all for your input and insights. At long last I now understand the path I am on with my newest Dom. He is about controling the mind after which he says the body will follow. He has expalined in dynamic detail just how dominant he has been with me these past 9 & 1/2 weeks (ironic eh?) and I was able to grasp his concepts and feel much better now that I know my place...well learning my place that is. I was given a peek at how our play will formulate last night when he brought a video over and told me to watch carefully as I will play the roll of the submissive one day soon. Breathless is all I can say for how I felt after viewing the video. If he does to me what the Dom did to his sumbissive in the video I will be ruined for all other Doms. Oh well I did after all, ask for it.

d

 

[FurryFury]

Don't drink the kool-aid.

LMAO!

Now that was funny.

I keep thinking he must be getting snatch somewhere this putting off physical shit just really puts me off. I've never known a guy that was fuckable, not want to fuck and right NOW unless there was some reason he didn't want to. I would think the same would apply to D/s either he wants to do or he doesn't and just wants to play mind games or is doing someone else? I dunno but I don't like the way this is sounding so far.

That being said, the mind fuck is the best fuck of all but damn I'd want to get to the skin too and sooner rather than later!!!

Fury

 

[Blushing Bottom]

Sorry to say rebecca it was a home movie. He has a friend who trains submissives on the East Coast here and makes videos of some sessions. This particular session was hot...hot...hot.

Whoa........ Video title please BB and I mean this quite seriously

 

[FurryFury]

I'm sorry but anyone who has to explain just how they've been controlling you for a month and a half, I tend to think they aren't actually doing anything of the sort, or are not doing a very good job of it at all.

I'm getting very negative flashbacks of being with my ex here.

Ick.

But if it works for you, that's great.

Fury

 

[HotKittySpank]

I'm sorry but anyone who has to explain just how they've been controlling you for a month and a half, I tend to think they aren't actually doing anything of the sort, or are not doing a very good job of it at all.

I'm with you on this one Furry - all talk and no play...

Still, if that's the game you want BB, roll the dice baby.
As I've said before, every relationship is different and if it works for you then there is nothing wrong with it.

Cheers!

 

[Blushing Bottom]

No Pity Please

For those of you who have voiced an opinion or interest, it has ended. I ran out of patience.

~The End~

 

[Ebonyfire]

For those of you who have voiced an opinion or interest, it has ended. I ran out of patience.

~The End~

Pity - No / Empathy - Yes

 

[catalina_francisco]

For those of you who have voiced an opinion or interest, it has ended. I ran out of patience.

~The End~

You live and learn, better days will come.

Catalina

 

[Daddyslilpet]

For those of you who have voiced an opinion or interest, it has ended. I ran out of patience.

~The End~

It happens. You can only wait so long.

 

[A Desert Rose]

For those of you who have voiced an opinion or interest, it has ended. I ran out of patience.

~The End~

Good for you!!! Life's just too fucking short.