When to tell a potential partner about BDSM?

[bennmorland85]

I think we SHOULD all be card-carrying members of some sort...

You could always find out what color bracelet you should be allegedly wearing, according to Fox News.

 

[bennmorland85]

I always find men when I'm not looking. I'm just about never looking. Maybe it's the men that find me. I dunno.

Exactly how I found my beau. One day I decided to stop proactively looking for a partner. Then this guy I've known for a time starts doing things that are far too coincidental for me to ignore. So I set up a bit of a trick, and caught him for a night, which became a weekend, which became a month... .

But it all started only once I stopped trying to find a partner.

 

[bennmorland85]

Sort of like "GLTxx" whatever it is now for gays, a "big tent" name to be inclusive of various flavors of one general family.

GLBT, from what I understand. Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual & Transgender and/or transvestite. The school I teach at is right next to Dupont Circle.

 

[FurryFury]

Exactly how I found my beau. One day I decided to stop proactively looking for a partner. Then this guy I've known for a time starts doing things that are far too coincidental for me to ignore. So I set up a bit of a trick, and caught him for a night, which became a weekend, which became a month... .

But it all started only once I stopped trying to find a partner.

Yep, I've heard that same sort of story many times. Good for you finding someone you are happy with!

Fury

You could always find out what color bracelet you should be allegedly wearing, according to Fox News.

LOL!

But wouldn't most of us have to wear like a ton of colored braceletts?

Fury

 

[h_i_s]

..... LINKS to BDSM styled clothing and jewelry .....

Funny that you laugh at the shirts , Killi.
At first, when INSIDEYOURMIND gave them to me, i was reluctant to wear them out and in public. Now though, i enjoy wearring them all.

i've been approached and received comments from some regarding to the shirts and bdsm type stuff that i wear.... but, i can't say for certain than any have known 'what it's all about', or are actually involved in or know anything at all about D/s relationships and BDSM etc ... However, i haven't been out all that much while wearring the shirts aside from shopping, Dr's visits, & visits to my childrens' schools and the like.

i do get many comments from those who admire the style of the O-ring which serves as my wedding band .... and have yet to recieve any comment from any who have made it known to me that they KNOW of the symbolism of the ring in connection with BDSM and a Master/slave relationship. Most just comment with, "Oh, that's very unique".

Many admire and comment about the cuff earrings & the silver collar too. i get lots of 'Oooos & Aaaahs' expressed from friends and family, but, of those who i have not explained the dynamics & basis of the relationship to, i doubt they make any more of a connection than to think 'she must be a kinky one in the bedroom'... i just smile these days and don't ask what they are thinking most times. If a male were to ask about them .. i'd brush him off politely, and tell them they are a gift given to me by my Husband. BUT if an 'unknown to me' female who is "by my definition", attractive ... i might comment, and toss out a hint or two and see if it leads anywhere that might interest Master and i ..... cuz ya just never know ...... .


The 3 urls to see/order any of the t-shirts which i mention in my post above:

those who can't do teach ... and practice light bondage after school

Sin like you mean it

slave (with pic of velcro type canvas cuffs)



Other items you may like:

"black baseball caps" printed with your choice of either: slave, sub, bottom, cuff, bdsm,

Bumper Sticker "IF you're going to ride my ass .. at least pull my hair.

Master/slave tshirt

bdsm 101 tshirt

"smile if you like whips and chains" tshirt

"Master's little slut" tshirt

"spank me" gear (shirts and stuff)

Dom/sub tshirt

"PLease Sir? Can i have some more?" tshirt

Long sleeved black 'bondage bunny' & 'slave bear' shirts (SCROLL DOWN, PLEASE.)

HANDCUFF EARRINGS

(SILVER)
http://www.girlprops.com/RetailScience/page2/item/6248
http://store.sex-toys-superstore.com/scripts/ecatalogisapi.dll/Item?Item=47427&Template=IMP http://www.stockroom.com/b605.htm http://www.hottopic.com/store/product.asp?ITEM=266702

(GOLD)
http://www.hottopic.com/store/product.asp?ITEM=231299&LS=0

(PEWTER)
http://nadesigns.com/EARRINGShandcuff.html

 

[FurryFury]

This is just a tad OT but a gf of mine, who, I'd like to fuck, if I weren't so darn shy, told me she is getting a shirt at the fetish con this year that reads:

"If you can read this, you are fucking me too slow."

Gawd, I love that girl!

Fury

 

[h_i_s]

This is just a tad OT but a gf of mine, who, I'd like to fuck, if I weren't so darn shy, told me she is getting a shirt at the fetish con this year that reads:

"If you can read this, you are fucking me too slow."

Gawd, I love that girl!

Fury

Funny ... cute too.

 

[babiesmiles]

Great stuffs Sin

I want those handcuff earrings ...

 

[h_i_s]

Great stuffs Sin

I want those handcuff earrings ...

Thanks, babiesmiles. They're fun... yeah. i have the pair (the site claims they are silver but they are more like stainless steal .. not real silver .. and are VERY heavy compared to most) shown in that first link, as well as the sterling silver pair shown in the 3rd link.

 

[marieR19]

Just to put in my two cents.... I was pretty nervous about telling my gf about my bdsm wants, because she was (isn't now, but was) very very Christian and religious and stuff. She was freaked at first... We fought about it, in more of an emotional "i can't handle this" kind of way, I was scared that she would push me away..... And then she decided that she loved me too much to not at least check it out. So she read about domination, and read fics, and realized that she is a complete closet dominate. Totally! And wow, the first time she whipped me with her belt, the look in her eyes.... Like she was finally free, like she was letting herself feel something that she'd never allowed herself to feel before.
So mainly my point is, it started out weird and I started out nervous, but it turned out wonderful. In my experiance, if there's a true chance of something happening between the two of you, you just need to get it out. "Look, this is who I am, if you can't deal with that, nothing can happen with us".


Heather

 

[mrmadman]

kate/bennmorland

GLBT, that's it, thanks. Duh. I don't know Dupont circle, but in San Francisco I really have no excuse for spacing on that one.

BTW, how is "set up a bit of a trick and caught him for a night" different from "trying to find a partner?"

 

[mrmadman]

furryfury

furry, is that shirt lettered on the back or the front??

 

[chris9]

BTW, how is "set up a bit of a trick and caught him for a night" different from "trying to find a partner?"

Duh, that's obvious, isn't it? It works!

 

[chris9]

furry, is that shirt lettered on the back or the front??

I almost spew my joghurt across my notebook... Geez, you have to post spew alerts!

 

[FurryFury]

Well, I don't know if it is lettered on the front or the back. Given my personal preferences I kinda assumed the back. *snickers*

Fury

 

[DVS]

This is just a tad OT but a gf of mine, who, I'd like to fuck, if I weren't so darn shy, told me she is getting a shirt at the fetish con this year that reads:

"If you can read this, you are fucking me too slow."

Gawd, I love that girl!

Fury

I see what you see in her.. Point me in her way. I'll setup the meeting for you. You wouldn't mind doubling up on her, would you?

 

[graceanne]

I saw a tshirt that said

front
'1f U c4n r33d th15, U n33d 2 g3t l41d.'

back
And cyber doesn't count.

 

[FurryFury]

I see what you see in her.. Point me in her way. I'll setup the meeting for you. You wouldn't mind doubling up on her, would you?

Not at all, in fact, what I would really like to see is a four some with her wonderful husband (the second best husband I know of) and mine (the best one I know) but like I said, I'm far too shy. Though she and I have talked about it. Cause that is what girls do, we talk donja know?

*winks*

Fury

I saw a tshirt that said

front
'1f U c4n r33d th15, U n33d 2 g3t l41d.'

back
And cyber doesn't count.

Ouch!

Trying to read stuff like that hurts my lil brain! It does! I'm not kidding.

T shirt Hell is a great place to look at funny shirts! Yeah they are bad, nasty shirts but funny ones. Most of which the "nice story lady" could not wear in public and get by with.

Fury

 

[h_i_s]

I saw a tshirt that said

front
'1f U c4n r33d th15, U n33d 2 g3t l41d.'

back
And cyber doesn't count.

Hehe .. i think that's the best one i have heard of in a long time.

 

[graceanne]

Hehe .. i think that's the best one i have heard of in a long time.

I laughed my ass off. Which of course clued them in that I could read it. lol

 

[bennmorland85]

Yep, I've heard that same sort of story many times. Good for you finding someone you are happy with!

Thank you!

But wouldn't most of us have to wear like a ton of colored braceletts?

BTW, how is "set up a bit of a trick and caught him for a night" different from "trying to find a partner?"

Duh, that's obvious, isn't it? It works!

LOL That's part of it, yes. The other reason why it's different is that I wasn't looking any longer for "a partner," I was looking for "Benn Morland, historian/nerd extraordinaire."