Where are you?

[00Syd]

You are correct but in certain cases there are ways to know. For example, brain x-rays of the majority of serial killers that have had a past event of falling on their heads in early childhood show damage to the frontal lobe of their brains, where the conscience lives and allows us to control our emotions including rage and anger. The frontal lobe also gives us the ability to feel compassion and remorse. It is a proven fact that Serial killers have no remorse, they are unable to feel compassion as normal people do and have no ability to control their emotions of anger, hate and rage. That is cause and affect.

Yes, but that is serial killers. Have we found a proven cause and effect in submissives? As far as I know, its all speculation.

 

[BiBunny]

Diathesis-Stress Model. This pretty much explains everything under the sun.

 

[SlaveNienna]

Well, I think you are setting your standards too high. Where I will agree that having some sort of standards are good and I see where you're coming from with this list to rule out any potential "psychopaths". I suppose the real question you should ask yourself is what type of a relationship it is you are looking for. If you are looking for a long lasting, intimate, serious relationship then it's really more important that you have chemistry with someone than that they meat pre-set list of qualifications. No two people fit together perfectly but grow together out of love. I see where you're coming from too about being with someone who doesn't read or doesn't enjoy reading. My husband is dislexic and I love to read. It really bugs me that I can't share that side of me with him but that's what friends are for. You can't expect to have all of the same interests as your lover but that is a good thing. Without it you would have no need for friends and no forum for growth outside of the relationship.

 

[00Syd]

Diathesis-Stress Model. This pretty much explains everything under the sun.

Oh yes, definitely. I'm a huge fan of that theory. (And now that I know the official name I can point people to the wiki page instead of trying to explain it and doing a piss poor job. Hooray for learning!)

But as far as I know there is no definite indicator, right? We can say, yes, a combination of genetics and life experiences can cause many different disorders, and we even know of a few specific combination that often turn into specific things like schizophrenia, but as far as I know, we have no such clear indicators of submissive behavioral qualities. And so while we can say, yes, its very possible that my lack of a father lead me to being submissive (or dominant) we wouldn't be able to say that generally people with X gene + an absent father very often = submissive. Or whatever. Its all speculation. But it would be fascinating if we did find something like that.

 

[BiBunny]

Oh yes, definitely. I'm a huge fan of that theory. (And now that I know the official name I can point people to the wiki page instead of trying to explain it and doing a piss poor job. Hooray for learning!)

But as far as I know there is no definite indicator, right? We can say, yes, a combination of genetics and life experiences can cause many different disorders, and we even know of a few specific combination that often turn into specific things like schizophrenia, but as far as I know, we have no such clear indicators of submissive behavioral qualities. And so while we can say, yes, its very possible that my lack of a father lead me to being submissive (or dominant) we wouldn't be able to say that generally people with X gene + an absent father very often = submissive. Or whatever. Its all speculation. But it would be fascinating if we did find something like that.

Nope, there's no way of knowing for sure. I don't know, maybe sometime in the future, researchers might unlock a sort of genetic component. You never can tell.

 

[00Syd]

I guess part of the reason why it bothers me a little when people point to things in their past as being the reason why they are submissive or dominant is just that I can't point to anything. There is honestly nothing I can think of as being a reason and maybe I wish there was a way to explain it.

 

[ZRT]

I guess part of the reason why it bothers me a little when people point to things in their past as being the reason why they are submissive or dominant is just that I can't point to anything. There is honestly nothing I can think of as being a reason and maybe I wish there was a way to explain it.

Same here. Just always was that way.

Sometimes nature, sometimes nurture, sometimes a blend.

 

[ihavehope444]

Is it me, or is there nothing so undomlike as an angry, pompous, misanthropic (or at the very least misogynistic), sabre-rattling.... arsehole?

Around a "man" like that I am the least submissive woman you'll meet. Around a real Dom (a quietly confident, non-arrogant, self-accepting, woman-loving Alpha), I melt faster than an ice cube in hell.

Same here, Cattypuss!

 

[kara24]

Unfortunately there are way more submissives who believe they are intelligent, creative and interesting than there are who are intelligent, creative and interesting.

sadly the same can be said for dominants

 

[Homburg]

I guess part of the reason why it bothers me a little when people point to things in their past as being the reason why they are submissive or dominant is just that I can't point to anything. There is honestly nothing I can think of as being a reason and maybe I wish there was a way to explain it.

I totally can. One day, I was born. Bang, huge traumatic event, been dominant as a result.

 

[Adakgirl]

I guess part of the reason why it bothers me a little when people point to things in their past as being the reason why they are submissive or dominant is just that I can't point to anything. There is honestly nothing I can think of as being a reason and maybe I wish there was a way to explain it.

Of course there is no disputing that some people have no factors they can point to in order to explain why they think they turned out to be a certain way. But some of us do. I don't need to have a reason nor do I need to explain it to myself, it just happens to be that way and that is how I have interpreted my own reason. That is ok for me and it does not mean everyone has to have a reason they can point to nor does it make my reasoning any less valid.

 

[Adakgirl]

I totally can. One day, I was born. Bang, huge traumatic event, been dominant as a result.

You should ask your mother if you kicked a lot while you were in the womb...lol

 

[Homburg]

You should ask your mother if you kicked a lot while you were in the womb...lol

That would invite such a gripefest about how awful the pregnancy was. So, yeah, I probably did kick a lot.