Why do female subs go through Masters like toilet paper?

[h_i_s]

Bidet I think....

Yep, you're correct! Mispellings particulary drive me insane when i KNOW it's incorrect and can't get it even half right enough to being correct, to even get a correct result from a spell checker ... lol. It's bidet says dictionary.com. Thank you.. appreciated.

¸,ø¤º°sinn0cent1°º¤ø,¸ (proudly owned by, and devoted to INSIDEYOURMIND)

 

[Slave Masha]

It is easy.

Because 99% of "masters" are clowns just pretending to be REAL MASTERS.

 

[AngelicAssassin]

Re: It is easy.

Because 99% of "masters" are clowns in just pretending to be REAL MASTERS.

but only a real clown would post such a generalization.

 

[esclave_PP]

What about "Tears of a clown?"

 

[catalina_francisco]

Bump...

 

[BiBunny]

Wouldn't the reverse of this question also be true? "Why do Masters go through female subs like toilet paper?" Just wondering. It takes two to tango, after all.

 

[Netzach]

Wouldn't the reverse of this question also be true? "Why do Masters go through female subs like toilet paper?" Just wondering. It takes two to tango, after all.

I been toiletpaper to all the sexes....

let me sing it with a blues riff.

 

[rosco rathbone]

Wouldn't the reverse of this question also be true? "Why do Masters go through female subs like toilet paper?" Just wondering. It takes two to tango, after all.

The kinds of masters that are going through subs like toilet paper aren't complaining about the kinds of subs who go through masters like toilet paper. There's a hierarchy here (a higher-archy):

masters (who go through subs like tp)>subs (who go through masters like tp)>masters (who get gone through like tp)>subs(who get gone through like tp).

 

[stirbird]

The kinds of masters that are going through subs like toilet paper aren't complaining about the kinds of subs who go through masters like toilet paper. There's a hierarchy here (a higher-archy):

masters (who go through subs like tp)>subs (who go through masters like tp)>masters (who get gone through like tp)>subs(who get gone through like tp).

Hm. So what happens when a master who goes through subs like tp meets a sub who goes through him like tp?

 

[rosco rathbone]

Hm. So what happens when a master who goes through subs like tp meets a sub who goes through him like tp?

worlds collide

 

[BiBunny]

worlds collide

Which could be quite interesting.

 

[stirbird]

worlds collide

Hey, did I just manage to sneak in a question of High Philosophy?

 

[BeachGurl2]

Interesting bump, Cat.

I don't think one goes through more than the other. Some relationships take longer to get over than others. And let's face it, with the wannabes and the trolls on both sides of the coin, moving from person to person is to be expected. And when people start a relationship too quickly, before getting to know each other, disappointment sets in when they discover things they don't like about the other. I think that for every sub out there who moves on very quickly, there are just as many subs who crave that one Master who will be everything they need. Just as there are Doms who crave that one sub. Unfortunately, they are a lot harder to find than people sometimes think.

 

[satindesire]

That's simple. It's because regardless of what anyone tells themselves in regards to their BDSM status, women are in always in control of the sex lives of hetro males. Sexuality is a complete and total Gynarchy. They decide when we have sex, what kind of sex that is to be, and what kind of tribute must be paid (not necessarily financial) for the privilege. Then they evaluate us. If the evaluation is negative, they'll black-ball us. After which, it will be difficult to obtain the sexual benediction of any woman with even a passing familiarity with the first woman.

Okay, I know...I know! That was a really old post and I have probably very little business quoting it, but it really caught my eye and stuck with me during the entire thread. And I'm really not singling you (CBM) out as being wrong or trying to pick a fight, I'm merely using the post as example.

Don't you think that when you have your own label in your head, as in You have labeled Yourself as PYL/pyl, that would obviously affect your bias regarding such a topic? Such as, if you were say, a sub hetero male, you'd probably pretty obviously think that women have the most power between the sexes when it comes to sex? I know that my own opinions are biased because I am a hetero sub female and I believe that the man has the most power when it comes to sex.

I mean, to be honest, none of -us- (as in the people posting here on the thread so far) have any REAL insight, do we? As every situation is different and therefore we'd probably have to take some sort of...mass assclown poll to determine if there's a reason these heartbreakers are doing the damage they are?

Personally, I think that a sub OR Dom who runs through people like they're worthless deserves every inch of bad karma they get. God only knows their crazy-ass reasons.

I think it could be just because they want to sleep with as many people as they can bedpost-notch?

It could be said the same for the vanilla world...do you think so?

 

[Netzach]

Don't you think that when you have your own label in your head, as in You have labeled Yourself as PYL/pyl, that would obviously affect your bias regarding such a topic?

Totally. Hammer meet nail.

My view of the sexes is almost identical to this poster's. I've "subbed." I've bottomed. I've topped. I've fucked. And I've found the exact same results

-- with one subtle but key difference. I'm aware that's how it plays out FOR ME.

And frankly, I like it that way, I know it plays out otherwise for others and that's great for them. I hope they are having as much fun as I am.

 

[satindesire]

Well, since you've been-there, done-that with all Labels, you've got a much better view on what the TPing people (I had no idea what else to call them. ) might be thinking. So...what do YOU think might be going through their heads when their relationships seem to end so quickly?

 

[Netzach]

Well, since you've been-there, done-that with all Labels, you've got a much better view on what the TPing people (I had no idea what else to call them. ) might be thinking. So...what do YOU think might be going through their heads when their relationships seem to end so quickly?

LOL oh you think the bi and flexible among us have special insight into what it is to be a shitheel?

Honestly in some cases - people like drama, woe is me, and victimization.

In other cases people are just selfish fuckwads. Sometimes they even warn the "victim" who does not listen to the warning or thinks he/she can get an emotional involvement and response when none is promised.

Sometimes they really are such fuckwads they promise emotional involvement or don't say anything to the contrary, this is crappy casual sex etiquitte.

But basically, I don't think this species is as cut out for monogamy as it wishes it was. That's the reason for the chaos as I see it, but I have my own bias there - as you said, things look like nails when you have a hammer and I'm definitely happiest in my open rels.

I've wiped and I've been wiped with. I think it's kind of universal, really.

 

[satindesire]

LOL oh you think the bi and flexible among us have special insight into what it is to be a shitheel?

Hah! I am so sorry! I really didn't mean it that way.

But basically, I don't think this species is as cut out for monogamy as it wishes it was.

Monogamy is SO hard, isn't it? I don't know a single person who hasn't had issues with their relationships. I totally agree with you there.

IMHO, Monogamy is such a modern concept that our loincloth-wearing hindbrains just haven't figured a way to wrap their feeble little cells around it, yaknow? I mean, I'm not saying we were all a bunch of horny little monkeys humping anything that looked remotely ass-like (sorry! ) but having ONE partner for looong periods of time doesn't strike me as remotely 'natrual'.

Mind you, I think sucessful Monogamy is a BEAUTIFUL thing and I, myself am a serial monogamist and haven't had a one night stand...EVER....(no, seriously!!!) but still. I always think to myself, "Will I ever wake up, roll over and look at him snoring his head off in his pillow, and think....I just don't love you anymore?!"

Would that make ME like THEM?

Scary.

 

[Netzach]

Hah! I am so sorry! I really didn't mean it that way.



Monogamy is SO hard, isn't it? I don't know a single person who hasn't had issues with their relationships. I totally agree with you there.

IMHO, Monogamy is such a modern concept that our loincloth-wearing hindbrains just haven't figured a way to wrap their feeble little cells around it, yaknow? I mean, I'm not saying we were all a bunch of horny little monkeys humping anything that looked remotely ass-like (sorry! ) but having ONE partner for looong periods of time doesn't strike me as remotely 'natrual'.

Mind you, I think sucessful Monogamy is a BEAUTIFUL thing and I, myself am a serial monogamist and haven't had a one night stand...EVER....(no, seriously!!!) but still. I always think to myself, "Will I ever wake up, roll over and look at him snoring his head off in his pillow, and think....I just don't love you anymore?!"

Would that make ME like THEM?

Scary.

I totally hear you. We're really not that far off from deer and squirrels let alone bonobos. I've never had a one-nighter either, I tend to have to forge *ewwwww* reeeelaaaaaytionships with people before screwing. Generally.

(There was that really hung guy my gf was buddies with who I still never really sat down to talk philosophy with extensively)

I don't worry so much about "I don't love you anymore" but I do worry about "I don't want to fuck you." It's pretty irrational. I don't think it makes you like THEM, I think it makes you hip to reality - and frankly the most beautiful and successful relationships I know, mono, poly, or whatever, have always had that going for them. You have much more control over what happens when you are not in denial about negative possibilities, you work harder to keep them from coming to pass.

 

[satindesire]

You have much more control over what happens when you are not in denial about negative possibilities, you work harder to keep them from coming to pass.

I agree with that 100%!!

Wow, you seem like a really cool person! Do I sound like a gushing groupie or what when I say I wish there were more people like YOU!?

 

[Netzach]

I agree with that 100%!!

Wow, you seem like a really cool person! Do I sound like a gushing groupie or what when I say I wish there were more people like YOU!?

haha, no but I was just thinking the same thing about you.

 

[neonflux]

I totally hear you. We're really not that far off from deer and squirrels let alone bonobos. I've never had a one-nighter either, I tend to have to forge *ewwwww* reeeelaaaaaytionships with people before screwing. Generally.

Bonobos! Our closest living relatives on the evolutionary tree - females are in charge, they rule the roost with their sexuality which they wisely use for everything from securing food to breaking up conflicts between males. they are utterly promiscuous and utterly bisexual. no wonder i love them so

As to not doing one-night stands but also feeling like monogamy is overrated (I agree that we were never meant for it, satindesire, I don't have to be in love, but I do have to like and respect anyone I have sex with, especially these days....

 

[lne_iii]

Could it be that some "masters" have about as much worth as toilet paper?

 

[stirbird]

Well, since you've been-there, done-that with all Labels, you've got a much better view on what the TPing people (I had no idea what else to call them. ) might be thinking. So...what do YOU think might be going through their heads when their relationships seem to end so quickly?

I'm not sure of the circumstances of the relationships you are thinking about, obviously, but I've noticed a general trend in all relationships (whatever the sex details) over the last decade or so. In general (not saying this is true for everyone--it certainly wasn't true for me and a couple people I know!), if relationships begin online they tend end rather quickly because people jump too fast into online relationships.

The medium inspires a false sense of intimacy, in particular a belief that you know your partner very very well long before you actually do. You do get to know a part of them very very well online, maybe one fifth of them, but you can't get to the other four-fifths well that way because these parts do not communicate well through the medium, even when aided with voip (internet chat/phone) and cams. People are very impatient these days (again, this trait is encouraged by the media which needs greedy consumers who want it all NOW in order to sell more stuff) and do not think much about the fact that very difficult and special and worthwhile things sometimes take a great deal of work and time. They expect nearly instant gratification, even in relationships, and that virtually guarantees failure because people are so very complicated. If you are looking for someone you're going to be able to spend most of your life with without going crazy from irritation, frustration, or hurt, you have to go very slow, ask a lot of questions, test the waters, watch carefully how the other person responds over a long time (you can't learn their full range in a short period) and toward difficulties, and keep a part of your mind observing and critical. I don't see many folks doing this. Instead they fall almost instantaneous and madly in love with their "image" of their lover, not with who that person really is.

So couples commit, perhaps after a few short visits in which both people have been on their best behavior and not really spent much time together just being who they naturally are. More importantly, the two commit before they've experienced any difficulties together, both as individuals and in the relationship. Neither has tested the other's mettle, in other words, and discovered whether they can handle the tough stuff together.

The resulting relationship is a crapshoot, and, like most gambles, the majority of the time it doesnt' pay off, the two aren't compatible enough to make it work when things get hard.

As to what goes through a person's head when such a relationship ends? I'd like to say that they figure out all of the above and learn to proceed slowly and patiently, but I don't think that's true in the majority of situations. I think what happens (based on the countless bitter rants I read on collarme profiles and from letters I've received on this situation) is that you blame the your former partner for all the troubles and you do not learn very much from the experience--or you draw wrong conclusions. People of lower intelligence very frequently declare, "That person was a FAKE!" What actually happened was that the actual reality of that person, which inevitably shows itself over time, was nothing at all like what they expected based on their limited 1/5th-of-total exposure to that individual over a period of a few short months (or even weeks) and their romatisizing of that person's image. So the former partner becomes the evil bad person who purposed "tricked" you or "faked" someone they really weren't when the actual problem was inside you. The same thing happens when you shop too quickly for something valuable. If you're in a hurry, you may spend thousands of dollars on a very shoddy quality item, when a tiny bit of research would have turned up a product one-tenth as expensive and of far high performance, durability, or beauty.

Something else that seems related to relationship failures: the phrase "you get what you pay for," is often used to refer to the idea that the amount of effort someone makes to obtain something is somehow magically and inevitably correlated with the result or product that they get. It's a very misleading statement, because it's so incomplete. Success may require at least two other important factors: 1. Quality of effort. To suceed at getting something valuable, you often have to work very smart as well as very hard. Simple analogy: two athletes train for a race. One runs frequently. The other lifts weights prodigiously. While person two may be putting even more effort into his endeavor than the first person, does all that hard work actually make him more likely to suceed (win the race)? 2. Dumb luck. Lots of people work very hard and very smart to get something they want and never achieve any lasting success, while others flourish. That's just becuase when dealing with extremely complex systems such as the economy and the factors that effect it or with other people, you are always dealing with huge unknowns and random factors. The more complex or difficult your goal, the more unknown factors that affect your outcome can creep in. Sometimes these unknows help you, sometimes they hinder you. Some people get lucky and get a lot more in return than their effort would dictate. Later, they (or others who envy or admire them) attribute their success in life or in love with simplistic cause-and-effect: they practiced sterling qualities, like a rigorous work ethic. Others work much harder and smarter than Mr. or Ms. Sterling and, when the day is done, have very little to show for their effort.

The only thing I know of that counteracts the dumb luck or "unknowns" principle is persistence in the face of failure. If you really want something, you pick yourself up no matter how many times you fail, and try again, without a lot of bitterness or blaming other things (or yourself). And again. And again. And then some more. You also try hard to learn the right lessons from each experience so as to reduce the randomness somewhat. In life and love there are patterns that repeat, and that you can use for prediction. It can get tricky though, because people who want easy or fast answers or something to blame for their misfortunes see overly simplistic patterns (i.e., "All the doms (or subs) are FAKE!") which make them even less likely to suceed and these further failures make them even more entrenched in their misleading ideas.

 

[Quint]

.............