Why do female subs go through Masters like toilet paper?

[kinkykiwiandsla]

Why ?

www.kinky-kiwi.com

Ihave had to master! one did not treat me right and i now live with my new master!!!!!!!! as girlies need to find a master that is right for as , just like a vibrator

Slave 10 / h

 

[SkyBluAngelEyes]

At least two come to mind from this forum. One had a Master within weeks, and later another after a "devastating" break-up. Another hopped aboard another train within a few weeks. It took me a year before I was even interested in looking for a sub.

I think I'm on the other end of that spectrum. I haven't looked for a very long time. Years to be more exact. I think it's out of fear that I'll never find another that was as good as him.

I think PBW hit on something about some people would rather be with someone all the time, even if they are the wrong person rather than being alone. I'm sure that is a big part of it.

Very Respectfully, I also think Doms are included in this.

ETA: Wow... I don't even remember posting in this thread

 

[AngelicAssassin]

It took me a year before I was even interested in looking for a sub.

Ka-ching ...

 

[Desdemona]

Speaking as a sub recently out of a relationship:

Sometimes a relationship comes along when you aren't looking. Of course, in my case, we're casual... it's more like dating than anything. We're really good friends who are compatable in alot of areas. We satisfy each other's need for kink and limited power exchange. Yes, there is affection, but nothing more.

The idea of settling down into monogamy or a committed thing would send me running for the hills right now and I don't know when or if that will change. I would run away faster if someone wanted me to give up my power except in a sexual setting for a defined period of time (hours). I can't imagine calling someone "Master" or "Sir" right now unless it were in a role play setting. But that's just me.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Re: Speaking as a sub recently out of a relationship:

Sometimes a relationship comes along when you aren't looking. Of course, in my case, we're casual... it's more like dating than anything. We're really good friends who are compatable in alot of areas. We satisfy each other's need for kink and limited power exchange. Yes, there is affection, but nothing more.

The idea of settling down into monogamy or a committed thing would send me running for the hills right now and I don't know when or if that will change. I would run away faster if someone wanted me to give up my power except in a sexual setting for a defined period of time (hours). I can't imagine calling someone "Master" or "Sir" right now unless it were in a role play setting. But that's just me.

It is great to see you back out there and moving forward, and more importantly right now, on your terms. You will know when you feel ready for something more, and then those words will spill from your lips without need for too much thought. Right now you have earned the right to chill and have some fun and no pressure.

Catalina

 

[h_i_s]

From what i've seen .. it's for many of the same reasons as vanillas go through partners, divorce, break up etc.

Some make mistakes, poor choices in choosing who they start relationships with. (trust issues, communication issues, or just issues of lacking compatabilities suddenly are seen as a reason to end it all).

Some people change over time and find that what they wanted in a partner has changed.

These are just two good examples of the main reasons i have seen for people splitting up, in either BDSM or vanilla.

¸,ø¤º°sinn0cent1°º¤ø,¸ (proudly owned by, and devoted to INSIDEYOURMIND)

 

[Guest]

Why?

Unrealistic expectations...

 

[catalina_francisco]

Re: Why?

Unrealistic expectations...

Think the most common reason I have seen for relationships gone bad, vanilla and BDSM, is people blinding themselves in the beginning to glaring incompatabilities, usually with the subconscious thought they will manage to change the person to be more what they were looking for as the relationship progresses. I think it comes from the desire to have a relationship so much, people find one thing (if lucky) they like in the person initially, and ignore the rest and build a fantasy image to take the place of reality. Problem is one day they wake up and have to face the reality they were in love with the idea of being in love, not their partner as they really are. And of course there is always the other side which is where one does pretend to be who the other is looking for until they have secured the relationship in such a way getting out means huge turmoil and difficulties.....once again I think because one wants a relationship, any relationship, more than waiting for the best one for them and their partner.

Catalina

 

[Honeysucklevine]

But isn't not taking time in-between a recipe for disaster?

Yes it is! There is nothing wrong with being alone and being alone does not equal being lonely. (fact)

One must have some solitude between relationships, time for reflection.

(edited, couldn't spell for a minute.)

 

[shy slave]

I hate being alone.

It depends on why the split, just like a vanilla relationship.

Sometimes you are ready to look almost straight away sometimes it takes months.

Would never condemn someone for the choice they make, no-one knows whats in their head at the time.

I have jumped from one vanilla relationship to another very quickly but have also had year break as well.

It depends on circumstance and reasoning at the the time.

 

[DaddysGirl21]

Hell! You know maybe things just got boring, so they "dom hop" to keep it interesting!

i've had two doms, it went well with the first for about 4-5 months then we had explored everything we could together so i looked for someone else to take it further.

Nic x

 

[AngelicAssassin]

Hell! You know maybe things just got boring, so they "dom hop" to keep it interesting!

And i'm so jealous of your next "dom."

 

[catalina_francisco]

Hell! You know maybe things just got boring, so they "dom hop" to keep it interesting!

i've had two doms, it went well with the first for about 4-5 months then we had explored everything we could together so i looked for someone else to take it further.

Nic x

LOL, think you just need to find the right person perhaps....we have been 24/7 for 2 1/2 years and still have a heap of things we look forward to trying and exploring together. Can't imagine ever running out of things to experience together.

Catalina

 

[Aeroil]

hmm...perhaps it's because bdsm relationships require trust to work, and that of course needs honesty..... lotta men lie on a regular basis in a relationship too....I don't imagine the sub guys would have a problem with lying though....probably too afraid, either of displeasing their /D or being punished..... I know I would of the former for me.... I don't imagine male doms being at all afraid of their subs, so the lies kick in..... then again I'm a total newbie to all this so maybe I'm just rambling.....

 

[Honeysucklevine]

You are not rambling when you really have something to say. Sometimes it's just hard to get to the point.

I think a person will go through RELATIONSHIPS like toilet paper if they are not getting that "kick" one feels with the right partner. It's a feeling in the pit of your stomach, a sort of rush when you are with him or her, sub or dom.

I hate to say it, but I have been guilty of moving on to greener pastures in the past, constantly looking for that adrenaline surge and rush a new partner can produce. It's addicting.

Stick to your dom if he evokes any of the feelings listed above, even if it's only a few hours a day. (You have to go to work and eat, remember?)

Or, you could always sing "The Thrill Is Gone" as you exit.

 

[Aeroil]

haha....thanks, I'm just sayin that I have no real experience in this, so don't dismiss the possibility that what I'm saying may be complete jibberish, then again maybe I have a big part of the problem quite nicely nailed down, I dunno......

 

[Honeysucklevine]

Aeroil, don't ever discount your opinion.

I think writer dom was wanting some insight as to what are some reasons female subs seem to be so quick to break things off and find another dom.

You are not talking jibberish, aeroil, when you say that "liars" could be to blame. However, sadly, pathological liars are everywhere! They come disguised as your mailman, your next door neighbor who has a foot fetish, or that lady who rings up your groceries at the corner store! But I am speaking "jiberish"!

Has there been an HONEST poll done on lying? No! It's impossible because most of them are liars!

Subs leave more frequently and find another because they know what they want and it needs to stay exciting for both parties. Obviously, if a woman chooses a sub lifestyle, she enjoys the pure adrenaline surge. It is her main priority. If that dwindles into boring tedium, then she must be movin' along! If her dom is keeping her satisfied and it is reciprocated, she probably wouldn't care if he lies occasionally. Does the female sub seek out a new dom who is honest and sweet. Nope. However, if she can find one who rocks her world and is honest, well then, she's got it all and a bag of chips!

 

[Aeroil]

oh, okay, well thanks then... writer dom did mention that one of her dom's was a liar, which is why she left, so that's why I thought I'd mention it, males tend to be pathological liars more than females....at least from what I've seen... also lies probably aren't the only problem, it depends on the sub, I guess...

 

[Guest]

Hell! You know maybe things just got boring, so they "dom hop" to keep it interesting!

i've had two doms, it went well with the first for about 4-5 months then we had explored everything we could together so i looked for someone else to take it further.

Nic x

BDSM relationships are just like Vanilla ones in one respect. There has to be more to them than the sex...Or they fall apart.

Now, My contacts are bothering me and I'm in a bad mood, so I'll try to put this as nicely as I can..

Yah know, if you're just there for the BDSM, then no, it's not going to last. And you ARE going to end up moving on.

BDSM relationships are supposed to be exactly that..Relationships.
If not, then everyone needs to know it up front.
I have played just for fun..With people I didn't particularly care about. A lot at one time, seldom now.

If you're just here for the whippin..One of us needs to be writin' the other a check when we're done.

 

[Desdemona]

BDSM relationships are just like Vanilla ones in one respect. There has to be more to them than the sex...Or they fall apart.

Now, My contacts are bothering me and I'm in a bad mood, so I'll try to put this as nicely as I can..

Yah know, if you're just there for the BDSM, then no, it's not going to last. And you ARE going to end up moving on.

BDSM relationships are supposed to be exactly that..Relationships.
If not, then everyone needs to know it up front.
I have played just for fun..With people I didn't particularly care about. A lot at one time, seldom now.

If you're just here for the whippin..One of us needs to be writin' the other a check when we're done.

Words to live by.

 

[Netzach]

Do male subs NOT go through mistresses like toilet paper? I don't think the ladies more fickle or harder to inspire to stick around.

 

[AnelizeDarkEyes]

BDSM relationships are just like Vanilla ones in one respect. There has to be more to them than the sex...Or they fall apart.

Truer words were never spoken.

It's amazing how many people can't seem to get this one little fact through into their heads, though.

*shrugs*

Until then, the turnover rate will continue to be what it is. On BOTH sides.

~anelize

 

[esclave_PP]

I recently switched as well...

Exactly Anelize.

I did come out of a 7 year stint with my ex. We ended up moving literally across the country from each other. We thought it best to end things. There were other compounded issues.

Now, I must say that I did actually try to give myself some time, but like Des said, sometimes when you're not looking, it comes knocking at your door. I did give it a few weeks, but my heart told me it was the right thing to do (an incidently my ex-Master as well).

I know from the outside it looks like hopping, but it wasn't. It was what I would call a shift.

Now relationship hopping isn't all that foreign. Heck every lifestyle has it. I think like others have said, if there isn't compatibility or trust, what is there? No sense in staying with someone you can't deal with or stand. Life is too short. I don't think it is limited to subs either. Plenty of PYL's do the same.

 

[h_i_s]

... like TOILET PAPER?!!??

Well, i guess i will just have to start drip drying from now on.

i, for one, have only had one collar placed around my neck, and have only been owned by one Master, and that fact will never change.

Perhaps i will need to invest in one of those fancy little toilets .. not sure of the spelling, "Bidae". "Bitae" ? Heck, if i can't spell it baby wipes will do.

¸,ø¤º°sinn0cent1°º¤ø,¸ (proudly owned by, and devoted to INSIDEYOURMIND)

 

[esclave_PP]

Originally posted by sinn0cent1
... like TOILET PAPER?!!??

Well, i guess i will just have to start drip drying from now on.

i, for one, have only had one collar placed around my neck, and have only been owned by one Master, and that fact will never change.

Perhaps i will need to invest in one of those fancy little toilets .. not sure of the spelling, "Bidae". "Bitae" ? Heck, if i can't spell it baby wipes will do.

¸,ø¤º°sinn0cent1°º¤ø,¸ (proudly owned by, and devoted to INSIDEYOURMIND)

Bidet I think....