Why is it so hard to find a female Domme??!

[Lilith]

Because some of us prefer to be the hunter not the prey.

 

[coy_one]

To be clear I was joking. I'd like to have more credit given to me than that. I assumed it would be obvious that was what was going on. If I had wanted what you deem a whiner I would have found one a long time ago. Men are not the same as mice. Also, I am not nor do I claim to be, a true Domme.

Sorry but I hate it when people label me on a joke.

And what was described in that line of thought, I doubt would do mr. chuck any good other than getting his socks rocked off.

That's exactly where I was coming from.

 

[Evil_Geoff]

I've been looking around my area and for every Domme I find I find dozens of female subs. It's not fair, I want to serve! I need dicipline, where are all the mistresses out there??!

There are subs, and then there are bottoms. There are Dommes and there are Tops.

People with a list of "do this to me" fetishes are generally bottoms, not submissives. And Dommes, generally speaking, are not looking for bottoms.

There are way, Way, WAY more bottoms and submissives than Tops/Dominants of any variety. For the PYL's, it's a buyers market. If you want to attract serious attention, you need to stand well above the usual run of the mill "do me" bottom.

Get involved with realtime groups in your area. To find local Munches, email groups, and events in your area, try:

SceneUSA - http://www.darkheart.com/sceneusa.html

Caryl's Page - http://www.drkdesyre.com/

The BDSM Events Page - http://www.thebdsmeventspage.com/ which has links to both organizations AND events.

 

[Xelebes]

They like to tease us men by having girlfriends instead. They're just that good.

 

[Chunkamunk]

good god this thread has taken off. Thanks for all your responses/advice. I feel that I do need to clear a couple things up though... 1st I am not solely looking to fulfill a desire to jerk off although that could be fun. I have served two Dommes so although I am not a veteran sub, I do have experience. I am not a service sub however. My 1st Domme attempted to make me one and it did not work out. I will submit to a Domme's commands, however chores, errands, etc can be a bit much. Hopfully at least 1 or more of the Dommes that have posted here would be interested in contacting me to chat or "straighten me out" What do you think?

Also I have posted at ALT.com, but I have not checked out collarme, I'll give it a look, thanks.

 

[Netzach]

My two cents, and I'm not looking except for XX's.

Dude, what do we know about you OTHER than that you want a Domme?

A lot of people want a lot of stuff. If someone's interesting I think most of us have the brains to PM them and say hi.

I met my husband because 1. he was hot, 2. he was interesting when I started talking to him 3. oh joy, he wanted a Top with some Domme tendencies.

All those other things that make someone want to hang out around you? Yeah, that stuff - that's what women are generally interested in primarily. If you drop in that you happen to be a submissive don't worry, we won't forget.

 

[midwestyankee]

There you go again, Netz, being all logical, rational, and helpful. What are we going to do with you?

 

[BiBunny]

Most Dommes aren't going to want to go to the trouble of "straightening someone out" when they can have their pick of men who are already more or less exactly what they're looking for.

 

[rosco rathbone]

You lack understanding of the female psyche.

 

[Lady_In_Black]

Ha ha ha...

You people are funny. "their pick of men" I'm sorry, but I've been looking for a while, and all I find are bottoms, and what do they call it? "Topping from the bottom" Or just lazy assholes that think 'Domme' means that they can just lay there while I do what makes them feel good.

By no means do I think all men are like this, and I am not bitter; I just deeply resent this whole "Dommes have it easier" tripe. I do completely agree with the fact that male pyl's out number the female PYLs so much that we have more to choose from, but it's not exactly prime pickin's.

And, to the gentleman that posted this thread. After reading your original post, I very much agree with Netzach. I would call what what she said almost a philosophy of mine. I look for an interesting human being that I can interact with and have a relationship that is more then just about sex but the general life style, and what I share with the other person. That whole Domme/sub thing is just a facet of a relationship to me.

 

[BiBunny]

You people are funny. "their pick of men" I'm sorry, but I've been looking for a while, and all I find are bottoms, and what do they call it? "Topping from the bottom" Or just lazy assholes that think 'Domme' means that they can just lay there while I do what makes them feel good.

By no means do I think all men are like this, and I am not bitter; I just deeply resent this whole "Dommes have it easier" tripe. I do completely agree with the fact that male pyl's out number the female PYLs so much that we have more to choose from, but it's not exactly prime pickin's.

And, to the gentleman that posted this thread. After reading your original post, I very much agree with Netzach. I would call what what she said almost a philosophy of mine. I look for an interesting human being that I can interact with and have a relationship that is more then just about sex but the general life style, and what I share with the other person. That whole Domme/sub thing is just a facet of a relationship to me.

By "pick of men," I meant that within the sheer number of male subs, what woman's going to settle for less than what she wants when she can always move on to the next one? I know perfectly well that Dommes don't have it easier because I'm a switch who's taking what may turn out to be a permanent break from the submissive side. Do YOU want to deal with a sub you have to "straighten out"? I certainly don't.

 

[GentleSub_Ivy]

By "pick of men," I meant that within the sheer number of male subs, what woman's going to settle for less than what she wants when she can always move on to the next one? I know perfectly well that Dommes don't have it easier because I'm a switch who's taking what may turn out to be a permanent break from the submissive side. Do YOU want to deal with a sub you have to "straighten out"? I certainly don't.

What do you mean by straighten out? Just wondering, not attacking. I can see not wanting someone who is say, an alcoholic but what about quirky personality traits that you find irksome. Would those be something to be trained out of him? Hypothetically, if you had a list of "10 traits I want in a sub," what would you consider deal breakers? (These are questions for everybody really, hope the OP doesn't mind the minor hijack).

I guess I'm coming from the idea that one woman's trash may be another woman's treasure.

 

[BiBunny]

What do you mean by straighten out? Just wondering, not attacking. I can see not wanting someone who is say, an alcoholic but what about quirky personality traits that you find irksome. Would those be something to be trained out of him? Hypothetically, if you had a list of "10 traits I want in a sub," what would you consider deal breakers? (These are questions for everybody really, hope the OP doesn't mind the minor hijack).

I guess I'm coming from the idea that one woman's trash may be another woman's treasure.

This is what the OP posted.

good god this thread has taken off. Thanks for all your responses/advice. I feel that I do need to clear a couple things up though... 1st I am not solely looking to fulfill a desire to jerk off although that could be fun. I have served two Dommes so although I am not a veteran sub, I do have experience. I am not a service sub however. My 1st Domme attempted to make me one and it did not work out. I will submit to a Domme's commands, however chores, errands, etc can be a bit much. Hopfully at least 1 or more of the Dommes that have posted here would be interested in contacting me to chat or "straighten me out" What do you think?

It was just the tone in which the phrase was posted that irked me. "I need to be straightened out. Hee-hee." Most Dommes I know, myself included, aren't in the market for a brat who'll probably turn out to be more trouble than he's worth when we can always move on to someone who isn't. Perhaps I read the OPs' intentions wrong, but that's sort of been the overall tone of this thread as well.

 

[GentleSub_Ivy]

This is what the OP posted...
It was just the tone in which the phrase was posted that irked me. "I need to be straightened out. Hee-hee." Most Dommes I know, myself included, aren't in the market for a brat who'll probably turn out to be more trouble than he's worth when we can always move on to someone who isn't. Perhaps I read the OPs' intentions wrong, but that's sort of been the overall tone of this thread as well.

Thanks for clarifying. I think maybe he needs to clarify exactly what he means by being "straightened out." I agree that it can be interpreted as bratty.

 

[Chunkamunk]

"straighten out" was a poor attempt at humor. I feel like I shouldn't have posted anything to begin with, I've been misunderstood and criticized too harshly. When I posted this I was trying to get input on where to find Dommes, not how to serve one, or advice on how to make myself more interesting to them. I have much more substance than I could post or would be willing to post on here.

 

[Netzach]

"straighten out" was a poor attempt at humor. I feel like I shouldn't have posted anything to begin with, I've been misunderstood and criticized too harshly. When I posted this I was trying to get input on where to find Dommes, not how to serve one, or advice on how to make myself more interesting to them. I have much more substance than I could post or would be willing to post on here.

I'm sure you do. The truth is there's no "Domme watering hole" so that substance is what will attract one to you. I'm not being an asshole, simply dealing in reality. I've often wondered where the rest of the people who fill the same niche I do actually are, and I have no idea. I've met a small handful of Dommes I have any interest in doing more than saying "hi" to in my lifetime.

 

[rosco rathbone]

I'm sure you do. The truth is there's no "Domme watering hole" so that substance is what will attract one to you. I'm not being an asshole, simply dealing in reality. I've often wondered where the rest of the people who fill the same niche I do actually are, and I have no idea. I've met a small handful of Dommes I have any interest in doing more than saying "hi" to in my lifetime.

The dry season...as the camera pans across the waistland, a group of Dommes make their way down to the watering hole to drink. Little do they know that submissive males lie in wait just beneath the surface of the water. One strikes, a brief struggle and the cycle of life and death revolves....

 

[GentleSub_Ivy]

"straighten out" was a poor attempt at humor. I feel like I shouldn't have posted anything to begin with, I've been misunderstood and criticized too harshly. When I posted this I was trying to get input on where to find Dommes, not how to serve one, or advice on how to make myself more interesting to them. I have much more substance than I could post or would be willing to post on here.

I'm sorry if I offended you or made you feel like I was judging you harshly. That was not my intent. I'm sure there are times when I have not presented myself the way I wanted to on Lit.

We all have more substance in the real world than we do in this little corner of the cyber universe.

I truly hope that you find the Domme you are looking for.

 

[nh23]

The dry season...as the camera pans across the waistland, a group of Dommes make their way down to the watering hole to drink. Little do they know that submissive males lie in wait just beneath the surface of the water. One strikes, a brief struggle and the cycle of life and death revolves....

LMAO!

 

[midwestyankee]

<snip> The truth is there's no "Domme watering hole" so that substance is what will attract one to you. I'm not being an asshole, simply dealing in reality. I've often wondered where the rest of the people who fill the same niche I do actually are, and I have no idea. <snip>

Now you tell me, after I've spent a small fortune on over-priced single malt scotch at this place.

 

[Chunkamunk]

it is pretty funny, somewhat at my expense, but funny nonetheless, thanks for the input thus far

 

[Evil_Geoff]

... When I posted this I was trying to get input on where to find Dommes ...

To find local Munches, email groups, and events in your area, try:

SceneUSA - http://www.darkheart.com/sceneusa.html

Caryl's Page - http://www.drkdesyre.com/

The BDSM Events Page - http://www.thebdsmeventspage.com/ which has links to both organizations AND events.

Hope that helps!

 

[i_love_myself76]

Have to say as a Domme that i find that i have trouble finding subs who arent game playing all say they want a mistress but only online which is great for some but i need to feel the backlash of a whip in my hand so I understand your frustrations in finding your domme

 

[coy_one]

Have to say as a Domme that i find that i have trouble finding subs who arent game playing all say they want a mistress but only online which is great for some but i need to feel the backlash of a whip in my hand so I understand your frustrations in finding your domme

I've found the exact same thing.

 

[Aeroil]

Not with you obviously.

haha, owned.


They're rare, and selective, quite the opposite of most teh males who want a spanking (abundant and desperate).