Why is obesity so prevalent amongst BDSM practitioners?

[Andraste]

oh, and my uber-helpful advice?

crash your cars!
i spend an average of 3 hours/day walking.

 

[Miss_Puss]

This modern day opinion of what IS overweight is what i cant understand.

i'm a curvy, soft woman, there no hard edges to me, no bones protruding from my ribs or hips, i am the shape that corsets were designed for.

yet in todays society i am considered overweight, todays society which encourages people to be size zeros, to have as many bones as possible showing, to have gaunt faces, and no breasts or hips, to make women appear like small boys.

if i was alive many years ago... i would have been adored, as one of the most beautiful women with a body like mine.

if a curvy body, a soft body, a feminine shape is so disgusting nowadays... what would paintings like these look like if painted again today? Who would be there muse?

 

[Netzach]

...i bet bigger bottoms are more fun to spank though.
watching the slight ripples would be far more erotic.

Yes.

I admit a prejudice, and it transcends age sex or gender. Spanking is better with junk in trunk.

 

[denalirayne]

My theory is that a larger girth allows a particularly wicked sadist more of a physical playground on which to practice their devilish ministrations.

imagine kate moss's "sweet spot" - - it's probably about the size of a half-dollar, no?

now imagine a buxom, full-bodied bottom's (pun intended) sweet spot - - - it's at least a solid 12 inches across. this gives a MUCH larger surface area to paddle/whip without doing irreparable damage to any internal organs.

if this is the case, then it is actually safer (and saner?) to be overweight rather than underweight. i'm not sure my physician would approve, but i don't seek HER approval.

 

[Chris_Xavier]

I'll admit to having a few pounds too many.. and a preference for women who have some meat on them.. like the above post brought out it just means that I won't break her in half.

 

[SubKekiLee]

It's really bad in San Francisco. Way too many "wide loads" in the scene. Some people really shouldn't take their clothes off in public. There's supposed to be an aesthetic to this, after all.

What's funny is that the gay community here is totally judgmental about bodies. If you're not buff, you're nobody in the gay community. It's the straight kinky community that puts up with all that flab.

Fortunately, we have one club that has both a dungeon and a dance floor. That tends to encourage people who are in decent shape.

OK OK OK.. I dont normally speak my mind to people who are so close minded that they make an IDIOT of themselves and it is usualy a waste of time or air to expell... For you, you prefer THIN or SICK looking people. it is your life so be it. I am a girl who has always been on the THICK side, Ive always wanted to be a size 5 but realized a long time ago my body isnt structered like that and Id make myself sick trying. Some of the nicest people youll ever meet, who will genuinely care and are okay how they are it is no one decision to tell them to get off the couch and go work out or anything they are how they are cause of what they are going thru in life, YOU dont know what thier circumstances are and to be quite honest , if you arent okay with it then turn around and leave.. In your words D/s and BDsm is a fashion statement it isnt. First and foremost .. D/s isnt all about WHAT you look like.. it is about expanding your mind.... youre biggest sexual organ is YOUR MIND... sooooo now D/s is more accepting of someone for who they are not what they are.. You are prolly one of those people who think they are god and are so self centered that it is all about YOU.. not the other person.... How nowdays the media and people makes it out that you are not "in" if your not stick thin.. thats not healthy in the 50's women were average if they wore a size 14

Okay sorry for ranting this post just upsets me... make me wonder ...
about some people..

 

[SubKekiLee]

Weight?? Issue ? Fashion Statement

It's really bad in San Francisco. Way too many "wide loads" in the scene. Some people really shouldn't take their clothes off in public. There's supposed to be an aesthetic to this, after all.

What's funny is that the gay community here is totally judgmental about bodies. If you're not buff, you're nobody in the gay community. It's the straight kinky community that puts up with all that flab.

Fortunately, we have one club that has both a dungeon and a dance floor. That tends to encourage people who are in decent shape.

OK OK OK.. I dont normally speak my mind to people who are so close minded that they make an IDIOT of themselves and it is usualy a waste of time or air to expell... For you, you prefer THIN or SICK looking people. it is your life so be it. I am a girl who has always been on the THICK side, Ive always wanted to be a size 5 but realized a long time ago my body isnt structered like that and Id make myself sick trying. Some of the nicest people youll ever meet, who will genuinely care and are okay how they are it is no one decision to tell them to get off the couch and go work out or anything they are how they are cause of what they are going thru in life, YOU dont know what thier circumstances are and to be quite honest , if you arent okay with it then turn around and leave.. In your words D/s and BDsm is a fashion statement it isnt. First and foremost .. D/s isnt all about WHAT you look like.. it is about expanding your mind.... youre biggest sexual organ is YOUR MIND... sooooo now D/s is more accepting of someone for who they are not what they are.. You are prolly one of those people who think they are god and are so self centered that it is all about YOU.. not the other person.... How nowdays the media and people makes it out that you are not "in" if your not stick thin.. thats not healthy in the 50's women were average if they wore a size 14

Okay sorry for ranting this post just upsets me... make me wonder ...
about some people..

 

[Betticus]

We should get all of the BDSM'ers and fetishists around the world to all chip in to a fund. When we have enough we could open up a publicly traded company and pay them back in stock in the company.

The company would be a dungeon themed gym. For the S&M crowd! Could you imagine the wall full of weighted whips for arm exercise? The classes! Big picture windows would be out and it would be adult only but damn, I bet it'd be popular.

Fuck it, almost everyone going to a gym already thinks of it as torture.

The Dom/Me personal trainers would be pretty merciless.

It'll be bigger than Starbucks!

 

[Andraste]

We should get all of the BDSM'ers and fetishists around the world to all chip in to a fund. When we have enough we could open up a publicly traded company and pay them back in stock in the company.

The company would be a dungeon themed gym. For the S&M crowd! Could you imagine the wall full of weighted whips for arm exercise? The classes! Big picture windows would be out and it would be adult only but damn, I bet it'd be popular.

Fuck it, almost everyone going to a gym already thinks of it as torture.

The Dom/Me personal trainers would be pretty merciless.

It'll be bigger than Starbucks!

tread mills manned by whip bearing sadists.

faster, bitch!

 

[Betticus]

tread mills manned by whip bearing sadists.

faster, bitch!

I see our first new recruit!

 

[Puman]

OK OK OK.. I dont normally speak my mind to people who are so close minded that they make an IDIOT of themselves and it is usualy a waste of time or air to expell... For you, you prefer THIN or SICK looking people. it is your life so be it. I am a girl who has always been on the THICK side, Ive always wanted to be a size 5 but realized a long time ago my body isnt structered like that and Id make myself sick trying. Some of the nicest people youll ever meet, who will genuinely care and are okay how they are it is no one decision to tell them to get off the couch and go work out or anything they are how they are cause of what they are going thru in life, YOU dont know what thier circumstances are and to be quite honest , if you arent okay with it then turn around and leave.. In your words D/s and BDsm is a fashion statement it isnt. First and foremost .. D/s isnt all about WHAT you look like.. it is about expanding your mind.... youre biggest sexual organ is YOUR MIND... sooooo now D/s is more accepting of someone for who they are not what they are.. You are prolly one of those people who think they are god and are so self centered that it is all about YOU.. not the other person.... How nowdays the media and people makes it out that you are not "in" if your not stick thin.. thats not healthy in the 50's women were average if they wore a size 14

Okay sorry for ranting this post just upsets me... make me wonder ...
about some people..

Couldn't have said it better myself... and since oldskoolpunk has sich high standards, I hope that he is Adonis himself...

 

[Life_Noir]

OK OK OK.. I dont normally speak my mind to people who are so close minded that they make an IDIOT of themselves and it is usualy a waste of time or air to expell... For you, you prefer THIN or SICK looking people. it is your life so be it. I am a girl who has always been on the THICK side, Ive always wanted to be a size 5 but realized a long time ago my body isnt structered like that and Id make myself sick trying. Some of the nicest people youll ever meet, who will genuinely care and are okay how they are it is no one decision to tell them to get off the couch and go work out or anything they are how they are cause of what they are going thru in life, YOU dont know what thier circumstances are and to be quite honest , if you arent okay with it then turn around and leave.. In your words D/s and BDsm is a fashion statement it isnt. First and foremost .. D/s isnt all about WHAT you look like.. it is about expanding your mind.... youre biggest sexual organ is YOUR MIND... sooooo now D/s is more accepting of someone for who they are not what they are.. You are prolly one of those people who think they are god and are so self centered that it is all about YOU.. not the other person.... How nowdays the media and people makes it out that you are not "in" if your not stick thin.. thats not healthy in the 50's women were average if they wore a size 14

Okay sorry for ranting this post just upsets me... make me wonder ...
about some people..

Don't sweat it... They are missing part of the point.... Real people tend to look like real people... Not like models...
I tend to prefer women with curves myself...

Anyone else remember the word "Zaftig"???

 

[Etoile]

I've never been over weight. No one in my immediate family has battled with weight issues so I can't empathize with "you" in that sense BUT as a member of the ever-dwindling group of smokers in the world, I can understand the difficulty in losing the weight because kicking the cigarette habit is just as daunting.

In recent years, society has thrown smokers into the same group with the obese. I know how irritating and hurtful it is. Hell, sometimes I feel like I'm a leper and not merely a smoker. I have I been told time and time again that death is ever waiting around the corner if I don't stop this very day. I've had the pleasure of hearing the same "signs of a smoker" talking points list that has now become the mantra of the "That's so disgusting!" crowd. As of yet, thank god, my teeth and nails aren't yellow, my skin doesn't look like chewed leather, my voice doesn't sound like a man's, and I don't have any premature wrinkles - well, maybe a few. I too have been hampered socially. I know that many a man has considered my smoking to be a "deal breaker" and many more I'm sure never talked to me in the first place because they observed me smoking. Why not just quit? I've tried....numerous times....only to fail, again. Like yo-yo dieting, I'm a yo-yo smoker.

But, regardless of the many irritating instances of non-smoker self-righteousness (by the way, converted smokers who "saw the light" are even more obnoxious!), the over exaggerated coughs I've endured from people standing 20 feet away from me - while standing outside, no less, despite being subjected to the oh so humorously named "Sin Tax" (apparently, dieing isn't good enough for non-smokers, I have to go to hell afterwards as well), despite all that and more, I don't feel the need to get in contact with the ACLU and shout from the rooftops that I'm part of a group that is being oppressed by the ever cruel and insensitive society at large. How can I be angry at people just because the majority of them find cigarettes repulsive?

Although I understand your frustration at hearing "No one just wakes up one morning fat" (again excluding medical conditions) there is some truth to it. Obesity doesn't happen overnight just as cigarette addiction doesn't happen on the first drag. I purchased one pack after another and now, I'm stuck with the results. I'm not a victim, just as those who find comfort in food aren't victims. No higher power cherry picked me as the unfortunate soul to bear the burden of cigarette addiction. I suppose you could make the argument that we're self-made victims, better yet, casualties, of our own vice(s) be it smoking or food but no one else made me that way. I can't dump the personal responsibilities for my choices in life on the front lawn of society.

Would it be easier to hate the world for "being mean" and blame societal pressures for my "misfortunes" and lack of acceptance? Yes, it would be much, much easier. You see, if I'm a victim, then I don't have to feel bad about not being able to quit. Instead, I can just throw my arms up in defeat and avoid having to try again. Society hates me right, so why bother? Only problem is, doing so makes you a SELF-imposed victim of defeatism and that weighs much heavier on the heart than anything society throws at you.

True, "just get off the couch and exercise/diet", etc. isn't as simple as it sounds. It's hard, just as hard as putting down this cigarette I am enjoying this very moment, but why get angry at someone else for pointing out possible solutions just because you have been unable to successfully implement them thus far? In truth, it really is simple. There's nothing complicated about scientific facts. Food and lack of activity leads to weight gain just as each Camel I smoke shortens my life-expectancy by an average of 7 minutes. Those are the cold dark facts and in the end, others stating the obvious don't qualify as overwhelming societal pressure, insensitivity, or cultural oppression.

Outstanding first post!

 

[Netzach]

I think the body hate for thin people needs to stop too though. While I prefer spankees with back, I won't scoff at someone who's thin either.

Some people are thin without ED. I can only imagine how hurtful it is to listen to the "give her a sandwich' BS every day. Why can't we just stop the general animosity toward every body type?

 

[mytwocents]

I think the body hate for thin people needs to stop too though. While I prefer spankees with back, I won't scoff at someone who's thin either.


Some people are thin without ED. I can only imagine how hurtful it is to listen to the "give her a sandwich' BS every day. Why can't we just stop the general animosity toward every body type?

Forgetaboutit!

 

[EmpressFi]

Is it true that every dress size you lose is 10 pounds?

I would say it definitely depends more on your overall body type.. I've lost about 75 lbs and I've only dropped from a size 28 to 22

 

[HottieMama]

I would say it definitely depends more on your overall body type.. I've lost about 75 lbs and I've only dropped from a size 28 to 22

i would agree with this as well. i think i am close to 80 lbs lost right now, and have gone from a 26 to an 18-20, so it's closer to 20lbs a dress size for me...

Come on size 14....Come on size 14....

 

[Puman]

i would agree with this as well. i think i am close to 80 lbs lost right now, and have gone from a 26 to an 18-20, so it's closer to 20lbs a dress size for me...

Come on size 14....Come on size 14....

Your height may have a lot to do with it. I'm a 5'2" gal with 6ft friends and we all went on a health and diet mission a few years ago and lost around 20lbs. I went down 2 sizes but my friends only dropped one size... of course, the reverse is also true... when I gain just 5lbs, the clothes I have no longer fit...

 

[catalina_francisco]

the over exaggerated coughs I've endured from people standing 20 feet away from me - while standing outside, no less,

Have you ever stopped to think that just perhaps those coughs you think are over exaggerated may just be very real and perhaps been suppressed as long as possible? I am one who coughs, without seeing a smoker even, but from the effects alone and out of misplaced politeness I have at times tried to suppress my cough for as long as possible. Add to that I also get severe chest pains to the point of having to stop walking, at times any movement, and sit down before falling down from being even as close as 50 feet from a puffing cigarette smoker and perhaps you might begin to appreciate why I feel my whole life is being ruled and restricted by the choice of others who have no problem abusing their own health, and it seems mine as well, but also feel justified to complain and feel discriminated against.

I love walking, but even in my neighbourhood where there are tons of walking paths through forest parks, I am aware that each time I venture out I can be faced with smokers also walking and have another attack because of it...for that reason I rarely walk alone anymore incase I need assistance. But hey, smokers are really the discriminated party here and I should accept I no longer can walk outside my own house, go for an evening out, without fear of serious ill effects which can last for hours just because someone feels it their right to light up and blow smoke in the air and faces of all around them. Sorry for the rant, but I am really tired of not being able to live a normal life anymore through no fault of my own and being told by doctors I might be better going out with a face mask on to protect me....I wasn't given a choice, smokers were.

Catalina

 

[fasteddie1]

*grins* great post Etoile!

I used to live in SF, and I had a playmate who looked about like you. When she walked around naked, it made my penis water...I'd pull her onto my face and lick her till she begged for mercy.

I'm not a BDSM guy, really. Except for really liking watching girls like you pee...

 

[Puman]

...My particular vice was smoking. (1 pack a day for 50 years) When I quit, I quit cold turkey and, yes, it was difficult, but not nearly as difficult as going cold turkey on a drug addiction.

The bottom line is live and let live and don't visit your prejudices on others. I'm damn glad that I dropped my vices, am glad to be alive and glad I'm still horny.

Firstly... well done on quitting. I take my hat off to anyone who kicks the tobacco habit.

I was a light smoker (no more than 5 a day) for many years. I also come from a long line of family members who battle with their weight, so yes I live in a constant state of battling with my weight, and when I quit smoking I gained about 12lbs within about 1 month and I am still battling like hell to get rid of it.

To be honest, my self esteem has taken suck a knock since quitting (and gaining weight) that I haven't even noticed any health benefits as yet... and it's been a year...

 

[northwoods_sub]

I'll admit to having a few pounds too many.. and a preference for women who have some meat on them.. like the above post brought out it just means that I won't break her in half.

On this note, do you think having a little more junk in the trunk to say is possibly safer in this lifestyle, especially as a sub or bottom. There would be more protection of vital organs and such? I personally am not a very big person, and that makes me a bit more nervous when it comes to being beat with a crop and making sure it lands exactly where it it suppose to.

 

[Puman]

On this note, do you think having a little more junk in the trunk to say is possibly safer in this lifestyle, especially as a sub or bottom. There would be more protection of vital organs and such? I personally am not a very big person, and that makes me a bit more nervous when it comes to being beat with a crop and making sure it lands exactly where it it suppose to.

Thank you Northwoods, you have just given me one positive aspect to think about with my weight gain... My new mantra: "A little more junk in the trunk makes for safer play." I am going to keep telling myself that each time I look at my size 8 (32) wardrobe and want to cry...

 

[JupitersGirl]

Thank you Northwoods, you have just given me one positive aspect to think about with my weight gain... My new mantra: "A little more junk in the trunk makes for safer play." I am going to keep telling myself that each time I look at my size 8 (32) wardrobe and want to cry...

Not so subtle ...

 

[Puman]

Not so subtle ...

??? Not so subtle? dunno what you mean... I cry at the wardrobe because I can no longer fit into it & having a really hard time trying to get back to that size...