Why is obesity so prevalent amongst BDSM practitioners?

[Byakuya]

But when I did go out on that first date, I truly couldn't see myself in a sexual situation with him. It just didn't do it for me. I know that I'll probably be flamed for it. I just learned that I truly am not attracted to someone who is overweight.

hey, it's not your fault if you're not attracted to someone who is overweight.. in my opinion you shouldn't be flamed for being honest about what type of person you're attracted to..

 

[lil_slave_rose]

hey, it's not your fault if you're not attracted to someone who is overweight.. in my opinion you shouldn't be flamed for being honest about what type of person you're attracted to..

i agree with this as well, not everyone is attracted to the same type of people, some like short, some like tall, some like blue eyes, some like brown, some like skinny, some like average, and some like overweight..that's what makes us..welll..us....

 

[satindesire]

/tangent warning!/

If I were inclined to date women, I'd say I'd like a fuller-figured woman, with a rather large bust. I wouldn't mind a few extra pounds at all, I think a softer, rounder figure on a woman is beautiful!

On men, though, I prefer a husky, muscular build with broad shoulders and big thighs. I guess the arch typical gender stereotypes are more suitable to me.

I think you should never be ashamed of what you like in a person. That's why we all look so different! That way, there's someone out there for everyone!!

 

[the captians wench]

ACW, do you mind if I ask how tall you are? I am about a size 14 too but I am 165 lbs and 5'4". I never understand how clothes sizes work but I assume it has to do with weight AND height.

I'm also 5'4 actually

It's really funny because I've been a size 16 at 160+lbs and I've been a size 16 at 240+lbs. That's why I don't worry about weight anymore. It used to drive me nuts when I would put on weight and drop dress sizes. So as long as I'm getting smaller I'm happy.

No one ever believes how much I actually weigh. And my mom gets frusterated with me that I can weigh so much more than her and be so much smaller. She's hovering at the 210-220 range also right now, but she's a size 22 and about 5'1-2ish.

 

[the captians wench]

i agree with this as well, not everyone is attracted to the same type of people, some like short, some like tall, some like blue eyes, some like brown, some like skinny, some like average, and some like overweight..that's what makes us..welll..us....

*giggles* I'm attracted most to my complete oposite....tall and light build.

Fortunitly there are at least a few of them out there that are attracted to their oposite as well.

And I know it really makes me sound bad, but I'm just not atracted to heavy guys. But I'm not atracted to a lot of muscles either.*shrug*

 

[lil_slave_rose]

*giggles* I'm attracted most to my complete oposite....tall and light build.

Fortunitly there are at least a few of them out there that are attracted to their oposite as well.

And I know it really makes me sound bad, but I'm just not atracted to heavy guys. But I'm not atracted to a lot of muscles either.*shrug*

doesn't make you sound bad at all, you know what you like and that's a good thing. again, no one is gonna be attracted to the same kinds of people. i happen to like bigger men, i feel safer in their arms, Master's especially *grins* i also like much taller men than myself..i am about 5'4-5'5 (ive always been 5'5 but last 2 times at the doctor they said i'm 5'4 ) and Master is 6 feet tall, my head comes right up to His chest so when He hugs me, i curl my arms to my chest and just 'melt' into Him *smiles* and He is a big man....though i do not expect everyone to like what i like. we are all different and it would be pretty boring if we all liked the same kind of people...but there is also a difference in not being attracted to a certain type of person and then dissing them or making fun of them because they are what we are not attracted to.

 

[MasterPhoenix]

I like bigger women, becuase I like to feel something when I ahve My arms around her. I have been with smaller women, but they just didn't feel right in My arms...

My rose on the other hand feels like she was made to fit in My arms. When I hold her it feels perfect.

And OH MY GOD, it is beyond description how perfect it feels when I wrap My arms around her and she just melts into a cocoon of My arms...

 

[the captians wench]

doesn't make you sound bad at all, you know what you like and that's a good thing. again, no one is gonna be attracted to the same kinds of people. i happen to like bigger men, i feel safer in their arms, Master's especially *grins* i also like much taller men than myself..i am about 5'4-5'5 (ive always been 5'5 but last 2 times at the doctor they said i'm 5'4 ) and Master is 6 feet tall, my head comes right up to His chest so when He hugs me, i curl my arms to my chest and just 'melt' into Him *smiles* and He is a big man....though i do not expect everyone to like what i like. we are all different and it would be pretty boring if we all liked the same kind of people...but there is also a difference in not being attracted to a certain type of person and then dissing them or making fun of them because they are what we are not attracted to.

*giggles*

I have a friend that's either 6'2 or 6'4 can't remember (he's one and Master's the other) any way, he's at just the right hight that when he hugs me I fit right under his chin. *giggles* Sometimes he'll hold me and just rest his chin on my head until either I'm happy to let go, or he is. I love that feeling, and I can't wait for it to be Master giving it to me.

 

[lil_slave_rose]

*giggles*

I have a friend that's either 6'2 or 6'4 can't remember (he's one and Master's the other) any way, he's at just the right hight that when he hugs me I fit right under his chin. *giggles* Sometimes he'll hold me and just rest his chin on my head until either I'm happy to let go, or he is. I love that feeling, and I can't wait for it to be Master giving it to me.

i love that feeling as well, and i've never felt more 'right' in someones arms than i do in Master's. i know that sounds cliche and all, but it is SO true. *sighs* just 2 more days....

 

[A Desert Rose]

*shrugs* i've read some things in this thread that really made me go 'wow' about the way people think about others who are overweight. which is why i'm not really going to say anything replying to anyone's posts i will just say that the way some 'hide' their discrimination against overweight people by saying things like 'hey i'm just saying it because it's a health issue' well i am Overweight, way overweight, i'm 5'5 and i weigh over 200lbs well over 200lbs actually around 240lbs. does my weight have anything to do with my sexual preferences..ummm..no..not a thing. and to me if all you're looking at is my weight, then i don't need you in my life anyway (that's a generalization i'm not talking to anyone in particular) i also have depression, which is a huge reason for my over eating, i know this, i've had low self esteem and it has mostly come from those who want to judge me because of my weight, the teasing, the down right mean comments, but i'm not sure that there is 'more' "fat" people in BDSM than there is in the general public, as the BDSM community is rather small compared to the 'general public'.

i know that i am beautiful and i don't worry about other people's comments anymore, they don't matter to me if they are that shallow anyway and would rather judge me simply because i'm fat, rather than my personality or my mind. as far as saying you post what you do 'because it's a health issue' well i know it's a health issue but why does an overweight/obese person need everyone telling them this? i think they probably know it, though everytime i've gone to the doctor He tells me i'm very healthy more healthy than alot of smaller people he sees, just recently i've had high blood pressure do more to stress than my weight. anyway, i'll end this post and just say i disagree that there are more obese people in this lifestyle than there are in the general public..and that's my two cents

I too, have read some posts here that make me go WOW and this is one of them.

I take great offense to your comments, especially the one that I highlighted in red. Are you saying that because I find obesity to be a medical condition, that I am "predjudiced''?

1/5 of the patients on the hall I am working for are morbidly obese. And yes, that is a medical condition. And all are under 65. Several are in their early 50's and 40's. They can't get out of bed without the use of a hoyer lift. We've had to call the fire department more than once to help get them up off the floor when they decided they could get up and ambulate on their own. One came from home with bedsores that would turn your stomach and I have to treat those sores. We have only a couple of oversized beds in our facility. We don't have enough wheelchairs for them or oversized bedside commodes for patients with this condition.

For the exception of one, they are all diabetic and diabetics DO NOT heal well when they get pressure (bed) sores or ulcerations. That's why they become amputees. And their disease (diabetes) is a direct result of their obesity.

I could go on about this because obesity effects every organ and every function of the body, including arthritis, heart failure and fractured bones, but I won't bother.

You can all flame me as being some kind of weight bigot. But if you spent a night on the job with me, you might come away feeling a little differently. Personally, I don't give a shit whose overweight here. It's not my business to know or in most cases, care.

 

[lil_slave_rose]

I too, have read some posts here that make me go WOW and this is one of them.

I take great offense to your comments, especially the one that I highlighted in red. Are you saying that because I find obesity to be a medical condition, that I am "predjudiced''?

1/5 of the patients on the hall I am working for are morbidly obese. And yes, that is a medical condition. And all are under 65. Several are in their early 50's and 40's. They can't get out of bed without the use of a hoyer lift. We've had to call the fire department more than once to help get them up off the floor when they decided they could get up and ambulate on their own. One came from home with bedsores that would turn your stomach and I have to treat those sores. We have only a couple of oversized beds in our facility. We don't have enough wheelchairs for them or oversized bedside commodes for patients with this condition.

For the exception of one, they are all diabetic and diabetics DO NOT heal well when they get pressure (bed) sores or ulcerations. That's why they become amputees. And their disease (diabetes) is a direct result of their obesity.

I could go on about this because obesity effects every organ and every function of the body, including arthritis, heart failure and fractured bones, but I won't bother.

You can all flame me as being some kind of weight bigot. But if you spent a night on the job with me, you might come away feeling a little differently. Personally, I don't give a shit whose overweight here. It's not my business to know or in most cases, care.

i was not speaking directly to you, or to any particular person on this thread, sorry you took offense to my words, but i took offense to alot of things said also about 'fat' people as i am one of them and yes, i agree there are ALOT of health risks that go along with being overweight/obese, i was not arguing that point, the point i was arguing was that people will make comments about someone being overweight/obese and then when called on the rude comment will use the excuse 'well i only said it because i'm worried about their health'

that, to me, rings as BS..people flame me all the time for how overweight i am, i've had it my whole life pretty much. comments like 'just don't eat so much' or the ones about it not being a 'problem' but that we are just lazy and don't want to do anything about it. those are more the comments i was referring to, so again, i'm sorry if you put yourself into the ones i was commenting on, but it was not intended that way. yes, i'm overweight, very much so, but does that mean that i am undeserving of respect or that i deserve to have rude comments made about my weight?

i see the stares i get when i go out to eat, i hear the comments, the snickers, and i've had people say it to my face and then tell me they only said it because they were concerned about my health, well my health is great, except for my depression and my high blood pressure caused by stress and yes i'm sure my weight doesn't help matters much. but it's not as easy as just saying 'ok i'm going to lose weight today' it doesn't work like that and if you've never been overweight maybe you (that's a generalized you) don't understand what it takes to overcome the problems involved with 'losing the weight' and that the comments that get made, or the harping about the 'health issues' does not help us to want to lose weight, it actually hurts us and helps to lower our self esteem even more. my dad was this way with me as i was growing up, He thought if he constantly harped on me about my weight, i'd see it his way and i'd want to lose the weight, i didn't, i just wanted to crawl in a hole and be left alone

if you (again, a generalized you) are concerned about someone's weight issues then do something to help them lose it, instead of preaching to them about the health risks involved from being overweight/obese, because trust me, we know them all, and alot of us live them. go on a walk with them, encourage them to eat better food, but the comments and such do not help. that's all i was saying, and i defiantly was not singling you or anyone else in this thread out. i was giving my opinion and saying it from an overweight/obese side of the coin.....sorry i offended you.

 

[A Desert Rose]

*shrugs* i've read some things in this thread that really made me go 'wow' about the way people think about others who are overweight. which is why i'm not really going to say anything replying to anyone's posts i will just say that the way some 'hide' their discrimination against overweight people by saying things like 'hey i'm just saying it because it's a health issue' well i am Overweight, way overweight, i'm 5'5 and i weigh over 200lbs well over 200lbs actually around 240lbs. does my weight have anything to do with my sexual preferences..ummm..no..not a thing. and to me if all you're looking at is my weight, then i don't need you in my life anyway (that's a generalization i'm not talking to anyone in particular) i also have depression, which is a huge reason for my over eating, i know this, i've had low self esteem and it has mostly come from those who want to judge me because of my weight, the teasing, the down right mean comments, but i'm not sure that there is 'more' "fat" people in BDSM than there is in the general public, as the BDSM community is rather small compared to the 'general public'.

i know that i am beautiful and i don't worry about other people's comments anymore, they don't matter to me if they are that shallow anyway and would rather judge me simply because i'm fat, rather than my personality or my mind. as far as saying you post what you do 'because it's a health issue' well i know it's a health issue but why does an overweight/obese person need everyone telling them this? i think they probably know it, though everytime i've gone to the doctor He tells me i'm very healthy more healthy than alot of smaller people he sees, just recently i've had high blood pressure do more to stress than my weight. anyway, i'll end this post and just say i disagree that there are more obese people in this lifestyle than there are in the general public..and that's my two cents

Once again, here are your words. They stand as you posted them, just as mine do.

 

[lil_slave_rose]

Once again, here are your words. They stand as you posted them, just as mine do.

i've read them over and over and i'm still not understanding where you took that i was speaking to you or any specific person on this thread. it even says 'generalization' *shrugs* oh well i tried to explain my point better, and again i'm sorry that you continue to take offense to my original post.....as it was not intended for you, or about you, but a generalization on people's comments about overweight people....and i agreed with your post, about the health risks being associated with being overweight..anyway i'm not going to explain it all out again, i tried to smooth it over and make my point more clear, but apparently that didn't work, so i'll just leave it be.....

 

[A Desert Rose]

i've read them over and over and i'm still not understanding where you took that i was speaking to you or any specific person on this thread. it even says 'generalization' *shrugs* oh well i tried to explain my point better, and again i'm sorry that you continue to take offense to my original post.....as it was not intended for you, or about you, but a generalization on people's comments about overweight people....and i agreed with your post, about the health risks being associated with being overweight..anyway i'm not going to explain it all out again, i tried to smooth it over and make my point more clear, but apparently that didn't work, so i'll just leave it be.....

I posted this back in November: https://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=20300940&postcount=395

And I posted almost the same thing again today. So yes, I take your post to be directed at me and others like me who feel strongly that obesity IS a health issue and one that should be addressed by those who are. And don't preach to me about helping others. I'm a nurse. I already do.

There is a big difference between being overweight and being clinically obese. There are several posters here who do not seem know that distinction.

 

[lil_slave_rose]

I posted this back in November: https://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=20300940&postcount=395

And I posted almost the same thing again today. So yes, I take your post to be directed at me and others like me who feel strongly that obesity IS a health issue and one that should be addressed by those who are. And don't preach to me about helping others. I'm a nurse. I already do.

There is a big difference between being overweight and being clinically obese. There are several posters here who do not seem know that distinction.

again, i was not directing my comments at you. *shrugs* again, i've tried to smooth over and even apologized for offending you. it seems you just want take offense to the way i feel, and for that i'm sorry, but my comments on the issue were not intended for you, i did not have you in mind when i posted what i did, as far as not preaching to you about helping others...*sigh* again i was not preaching to YOU..i even said a GENERALIZED YOU when i posted it, for some reason you are taking offense to my posts because you want to, not because i was talking about you. i explained what i meant about the comments of 'oh i was just saying it for their health' so i won't go into it again, i guess i should just let this go, as you are offended and are only seeing what you want to see in my posts because you feel as if i've attacked you for what you said in a previous post that i don't even remember reading..i didn't read the entire thread, i skipped through ALOT of posts and i'm pretty sure i didn't even read yours, until right now..when you posted it again, and i'm not seeing that you said ANYTHING that i posted about in my original post, i happen to agree with everything you said in that post *shrugs* you can take my posts however you wish, i apologized for offending you, and that's all i can do..have a good night

 

[A Desert Rose]

again, i was not directing my comments at you. *shrugs* again, i've tried to smooth over and even apologized for offending you. it seems you just want take offense to the way i feel, and for that i'm sorry, but my comments on the issue were not intended for you, i did not have you in mind when i posted what i did, as far as not preaching to you about helping others...*sigh* again i was not preaching to YOU..i even said a GENERALIZED YOU when i posted it, for some reason you are taking offense to my posts because you want to, not because i was talking about you. i explained what i meant about the comments of 'oh i was just saying it for their health' so i won't go into it again, i guess i should just let this go, as you are offended and are only seeing what you want to see in my posts because you feel as if i've attacked you for what you said in a previous post that i don't even remember reading..i didn't read the entire thread, i skipped through ALOT of posts and i'm pretty sure i didn't even read yours, until right now..when you posted it again, and i'm not seeing that you said ANYTHING that i posted about in my original post, i happen to agree with everything you said in that post *shrugs* you can take my posts however you wish, i apologized for offending you, and that's all i can do..have a good night

You quote my posts and then say you're not speaking to me?

Yes, have a good night. You deserve one.

 

[lil_slave_rose]

You quote my posts and then say you're not speaking to me?

Yes, have a good night. You deserve one.

i've only quoted your posts since we started having this discussion......in my original post i never quoted anyone..good god, why do you feel you need to take offense at my words?? in my original post i was NOT speaking to you or ANYONE in particular...i was giving my two cents on things...then you took offense to that..so i tried once more to explain my views and when i was not talking to YOU in the posts i said that it was a GENERALIZED YOU...i'm not sure why you feel you need to argue with me, especially when i TRIED to explain myself and then you found offense in that ..... even tried to be nice and say have a good night...which of course got me yet another snarky comment..

 

[Byakuya]

this thread is turning into War of the Roses!

sorry, bad joke.. just trying to lighten the mood a bit..


anyway, back to the topic of the thread.. I've always liked thin women, but recently I've begun to have a thing for larger women as well. This is mostly because of the art of Namio Harukawa: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/b/b2/Nh061.jpg/351px-Nh061.jpg

my wife used to be fairly thin, but she's put on weight since we've been married.. it used to bother me a bit that she's not as skinny as she used to be, but now I kind of picture myself as the men in Namio Harukawa's drawings and I find her big hips to be a turnon. I still like skinny women, but my interest in BDSM has sort of broadened my horizons.. so I'm still very interested in sex with my wife even though she's put on a little weight.

 

[lil_slave_rose]

this thread is turning into War of the Roses!

sorry, bad joke.. just trying to lighten the mood a bit..

*giggles* thanks for the laugh, though i don't like being 'at war' with anyone, especially another rose *sighs* oh well....what can ya do..but that was funny

 

[A Desert Rose]

this thread is turning into War of the Roses!

sorry, bad joke.. just trying to lighten the mood a bit..

Oh no it's not. It can't be a war when I always let them have the last word. ;-)

 

[Etoile]

I was about to say a line from the movie I'm watching, but then I realized that would be really inappropriate in this thread.

You see, I'm watching Star Trek IV. The one with the whales.

 

[the captians wench]

Oh no it's not. It can't be a war when I always let them have the last word. ;-)

Maybe you can correct me here, but when one speaks of obesity as in a medical condistion, doesn't that usually mean the person is over 350lbs?

I think this is where a lot of the arguement is comming into play. I'm a big gal, always have been and at my current weight I'm nearly 100lbs over my "ideal" weight. If I remember correctly, that just makes me a heavy girl, not morbidly obese.

I do believe obesity is a problem, and is a health issue, but there are people out there like me who are very healthy at a larger weight.

lil rose, I believe you are taking things a bit too personally because you are a bigger gal. And from what you said (again ADR probably knows the exact figures better than I do) it doesn't sound to me like you fit the catagory of morbidly obese.

 

[lil_slave_rose]

Maybe you can correct me here, but when one speaks of obesity as in a medical condistion, doesn't that usually mean the person is over 350lbs?

I think this is where a lot of the arguement is comming into play. I'm a big gal, always have been and at my current weight I'm nearly 100lbs over my "ideal" weight. If I remember correctly, that just makes me a heavy girl, not morbidly obese.

I do believe obesity is a problem, and is a health issue, but there are people out there like me who are very healthy at a larger weight.

lil rose, I believe you are taking things a bit too personally because you are a bigger gal. And from what you said (again ADR probably knows the exact figures better than I do) it doesn't sound to me like you fit the catagory of morbidly obese.

wenchie, i'm not taking anything personal, ADR took offense to something i said, and i was not talking to or about her in my original post. i guess maybe my words are not coming out the way i'm meaning them to. i agree with everything she has said in her posts so where she got that i was disagreeing with HER specifically, i'm not sure, the comments i was referring to in my original post had nothing to do with her posts i hadn't even read any of her posts at that point. again, i will say, i agree with everything she has said about the health issues in the morbidly obese and i've never said that i was 'morbidly obese' i said i was overweight, way overweight...i do know there is a difference between obese and overweight. i also know that what i said in my original post got taken personal by ADR and i'm sorry for that because HONESTLY those words were not directed at anyone in particular, it was a generalization on people. and yea, there were parts of this thread that made me go 'wow' some pretty shallow people, but it had nothing to do with her posts and honestly the people i was talking about, i don't even see posting on the forum anymore, so, no i was not taking anything too personal because i'm a bigger girl....i was trying to explain myself better after someone else took offense to what i said and then it turned into some kind of battle of words..when after the first time i tried to explain myself and she still took offense i should have just let it go....*shrugs* oh well....***** goes on...i am truly sorry though

 

[Pure]

hi lil slave,

i think your first post was adequately clear, in speaking of a kind of bias or negative view of heavy people, esp. women. there is no internet posting that hasn't been misread or oddly read by someone; it's a law of the internet!

i don't think you were denying *degrees* of problem. one more or less standard system based on BMI is as follows.

Underweight <18.5
Normal 18.5-24.9
Overweight 25.0-29.9
Obesity(I) 30.0-34.9
Obesity (II) 35.0-39.9
Extreme Obesity(III) > 40

we have a thread going in Author's Hangout about diversity in ideals of beauty and sexiness. you and anyone else interested is invited to drop in. several pictures have to posted to the question, among celebrities, 'who's fat?' or 'who's sexy?'

https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=489870


without going on, too much, i think much fuss about 'overweight' is misconceived, in that BMI 25 is, for average height, more than 20 lbs over. so the so called 10-20 lbs "over ideal," so called, has little by way of health problem. several authorities have said there is litlle health difference on average, *within that 18.5-25 range.*

arguably the idea, the social norm, is wrongly set, based on the likes of Cameron Diaz, who may be down around 18-19. IOW, a more valid standard of female beauty may be more the likes of Marilyn M, than Cameron D. Currently Kate Winslett may illustrate so called 'full figured' femininity (actually normal, perhaps ideal); she is in the very low 20s, i believe.

other posters have mentioned health probs, but many of these are for moderate (II) to extreme obesity, which i don't think there's much argument about. i'm sure you, lil slave, agree. but it might to added that 'medical problem' is not a license for ridicule, any more than say, cleft palate (whose odd lisp used to be mocked and called funny) or a woman's loss of her hair (a 'bald lady' was once a figure for amusement).

i think the social problem you allude to is that overweight is thought to suggest, besides not beautiful/sexy, weakness of will, self indulgence, sloppiness in other areas (like dress), moving on to 'self harming' etc. lots of psychobabble. even 'low self esteem' may be more the result than the cause of obesity.

as to the thread topic, a common theme of weight and BDSM might be sensual indulgence. an 'out' SM person has decided to gratify a non ordinary taste.

 

[lil_slave_rose]

hi lil slave,

i think your first post was adequately clear, in speaking of a kind of bias or negative view of heavy people, esp. women.

i don't think you were denying *degrees* of problem. one more or less standard system based on BMI is as follows.

Underweight <18.5
Normal 18.5-24.9
Overweight 25.0-29.9
Obesity(I) 30.0-34.9
Obesity (II) 35.0-39.9
Extreme Obesity(III) > 40

we have a thread going in Author's Hangout about diversity in ideals of beauty and sexiness.
without going on, to much, i think much fuss about 'overweight' is misconceived, in that BMI 25 is, for average height, more than 20 lbs over. so the so called 10-20 lbs over ideal, so called, has little by way of health problem. arguably the idea, the social norm, is wrongly set, based on the likes of Cameron Diaz.

other poster have mentioned health probs, but many of these are for moderate (II) to extreme obesity, which i don't think there's much argument about. i'm sure you, lil slave, agree.

i think the social problem you allude to is that overweight is thought to suggest, besides not beautiful/sexy, weak of will, self indulgence, sloppiness in other areas (like dress), moving on to 'self harming' etc.

as to the thread topic, a common theme of weight and BDSM might be sensual indulgence. an 'out' SM person has decided to gratify a non ordinary taste.

i'm glad i'm came across to someone the right way. i was not disagreeing that obesity is a problem, a huge health problem and is related to alot of health issues, it would be ignorant of me to say something like that. i was not, for the most part, talking about morbidly obese, or really even obese people, i was speaking more of overweight people, and i think the name of the thread really isn't properly named, and thats where alot of the disagreements/arguments come in. anyway, i guess i've caused enough 'trouble' on this thread so i will just leave it, and move on..thank you pure, for letting know you understood basically what i was trying to say