Why is the laundry more important?

[Svenskaflicka]

When I grew up, every day I watched my dad get home from work at 5, whereby he sat down and read the newspaper, waiting for my mum to come home at 6, whereby she'd cook dinner and set the table, and then tell him to put the paper away, dinner was on the table. I woved never to accept such a behaviour in my man.

I married a man whom I thought was different than my dad. And I thought so up until the day when I came home at 5.30 to find him sitting in a sofa, grumpy as... pointing at the floor, saying:

"I've been sitting here for 3 hours, looking at that dust. Why haven't you cleaned up in here? You know, one could never tell that there actually was a woman living here, it's so dirty!"

Needless to say, he's NOT a part of my life anymore.

 

[DVS]

In response from all of the compassionate men out there, we agree with you! There is no reason for women to always do all of the housework, and men to always do all of the going out to bring home the bacon. And, if one gets home before the other, why not start the evening's housework or dinner. We compassionate men understand completely and agree.

In defense of all of the true manly men out there, what are you women are doing posting on this web site, and not getting the house clean for when we come home. You don't have time for this! Get back to work!

~DISCLAIMER~ Just trying to give both sides of this an equal say. Don't kill the messenger.

 

[DVS]

Wildsweetone said
frankly, i wish the choice about being an old fashioned stay at home mum

Svenskaflicka said
When I grew up, every day I watched my dad get home from work at 5, whereby he sat down and read the newspaper, waiting for my mum to come home

Actually, I would rather come home to a tulip or a rose, if I had my choice. Although a mum is a very beautiful flower, it tends to attract ants.

 

[Svenskaflicka]

A couple of years ago, I had a muslim boyfriend from Ghana. On a typical night, he was spending the night at my place, and as the evening approached, I said to him:

"Darling, if you want to do your Evening Prayer right now, I can fix dinner for us, and call for you when it's ready, OK?"

He was very glad, very grateful, and went ahead to pray while I fixed dinner. (He also liked to be alone when he prayed, to concentrate.) After dinner, he kissed me and said:

"Baby, you were so nice to me. Now you go and sit down, watch something funny on TV and just relax, I'll clean the table and wash up."

Consideration, people. Your lovemate should first of all be your friend, and should be treated as your friend.
Do that, and most of the other things will take care of themselves.

 

[Quasimodem]

Although a mum is a very beautiful flower, it tends to attract ants.

Funny, but I never made the connection before .... but my Mum had Aunts, and all my Aunt's children had Mums, too!

 

[its Leslie]

I have an edge most men don't have (I think its an advantage, not always so sure though hehe).

Thanks to spending the 90's in the care of modern psychiatric pharmacology (which by the way is fucking useless), I have a mind that has a female side to it (take care using drugs for the mind, you never know what you will get mucking about in there eh).

As such, I often get a chuckle at the expense of both genders.

I can see the gripes most women have, most are justified too. I can also see the men (stupid jerks we so often are) walking right into hot water so obliviously.

My homelife was cliche 1950's. Dads worked and moms were at home doing all the mom stuff.

It's a different world today.

I can look my wife in the eye and ask her when she is going to do the laundry. I probably am letting dishes soak while holding a vacumm cleaner though.
So I am free and unfettered by worries of telling her to do some housework. She wields no advantages over me in this respect.
Most men though, can't say that as easily.

 

[DVS]

Shhhhhhh, mum's the word.

 

[wildsweetone]

i am thinking seriously

of drawing a map to the relevant equipment in the house and detailed basic instructions on the use of such equipment. but i reckon those i'd like help from would suddenly become blind.

 

[SlickTony]

A couple of years ago, I had a muslim boyfriend from Ghana.

There should be more Muslim boyfriends like that.

 

[Guest]

flowers

Actually, I would rather come home to a tulip or a rose

Reminds me of an old bad joke: What's better than roses on a piano? Tulips on an organ...

We are an equal opportunity cleaning family-- everyone helps cleaning up the kitchen-- but my husband learned really quickly that if I was worn out he wasn't going to get great sex all that often... limited physical resources and all that... So he pays for someone to do the laundry and do the major cleaning. Everyone is happy...

Yes, I am spoiled...but with a house full of kiddos and keeping a consulting career going, there would be no other way... He would end up with the left overs... Since we plan on being together for the next.. oh.. 60 years, we figure it's worth the investment.

-b

and my desk is all cleared off and files organized because I am avoiding writing follow up letters for the conference I attended

 

[deliciously_naughty]

As a player with words I have to admit to the sudden discovery that doing the laundry is so much more interesting than sitting pondering about which little tidbit I am going to write about next.

Sorting the clothes into neat little piles of whites, darks, towels etc. It's so much easier than choosing which story to begin next.

Why is it I have this jolly yellow streak down my back at times which makes me want to avoid writing? Heaven knows, I have enough to write about to keep me fully occupied for the rest of my life. Why then do I pontificate?

And, what am I going to do when all the laundry is done? Hmm, the windows could do with a clean.

You would not believe how clean my bedroom and house get when finals come around. Or conversely how interesting stupid tv gets when I'm stuck in a story.

 

[DVS]

Re: Re: Why is the laundry more important?

You would not believe how clean my bedroom and house get when finals come around. Or conversely how interesting stupid tv gets when I'm stuck in a story.

I don't really understand the term 'laundry day'. But then, I am a single guy. I do have a washer and dryer in the house, and know how to use both.
No, I don't mess much with doing the whites in a different load, mainly because I don't have that much whites. I do have a few, but they are only T-shirts and socks, and one load tops will do them.

I remember an aunt who brought up something my mother (her sister) had told her about my laundry habits, years ago. I guess I let it be known I didn't keep my whites separate. So, she asked me if my tidy whities were dingy.

I told her I hadn't worn tidy whities for years. The look on her face was priceless. See, she is a farm/small town lady, and they ALL wear white undies, I guess. She couldn't place in her mind what I would be wearing, if not the whites, I guess. Maybe she thought I wasn't wearing any underwear.

Yes, I did that for a while, too. But, that isn't very comfortable for a guy. Things tend to rub where they shouldn't and that is a bad thing. I don't wear tight enough slacks to go commando!

But, if I need something to do, I can always find something else to do than laundry or cleaning house. I do both of those when they have to be done. Now don't get ideas of me stepping over crap because I don't want to pick it up. I am more with it than that. When I need something to wear, I wash it. Someone coming over, I clean house. Simple schedule, huh? Oh, shit, I think I hear the door bell! Gotta go...

 

[wildsweetone]

I told her I hadn't worn tidy whities for years. The look on her face was priceless. See, she is a farm/small town lady, and they ALL wear white undies, I guess. She couldn't place in her mind what I would be wearing, if not the whites, I guess. Maybe she thought I wasn't wearing any underwear.

whew *wipes brow* white under garments...

You would not believe how clean my bedroom and house get when finals come around. Or conversely how interesting stupid tv gets when I'm stuck in a story.

i must be an oddball... i like tidyness. i find i can't relax to study or write unless the rest of the house and chores have been done. (not counting the middle of the night writing sessions that is - though they've been rare the last couple of months hmmm wonder why...)

even more odd, today i managed to write 570 odd words for the prompt thread, 3000 words for a planned and plotted story (first one i've tried) and countless other waffling here and there too... but even though it's the last week of school holidays here, the house is still tidy! and i'm not really a neat freak.

 

[its Leslie]

I have often wondered what I would be like as a woman, but after all sweetone has told me in the past, I guess I already know heheh (I might not look as good as she does though heheehe).

I can NOT think in a disorderly home.

If I have housework undone, I don't even pretend I can write.

One thing that colours my world view I guess, is I don't work, at all, ever. Well being disabled and on a disability pension is not my idea of a great thing though (god it can get boring, why do you think I can post at any time of day eh?).

It sure impacts housework (being able to do it at any time of day). It's about all I have to do most days. And it doesn't take all day to do my dishes (and yes I don't own a dishwasher).

What always boggles me, is how soooooo many of my friends (both genders) can live in homes, that look, well, like fucking slide areas.

I AM a neat freak. It pisses me off though (dad gave me all his habits and mom gave me all the damned health problems). It has taken me the concentrated effort of several years to beat down that habit.
My wife is a slob at heart. It has not been easy getting her to understand her behaviour is as annoying as mine.

What I hear a lot from people, is "I don't have any right to force them to change". Yeah right.
Those people also end up divorced most of the time, so I walk right past those opinions (you will lose your mate over petty bullshit faster than a REAL problem).

So many people live in dual income homes. It's a choice. So coming home tired, is a result connected with that choice. Saying you "need" the money is pure crap.

My brother is a Sports Editor of a large newspaper and his wife is a Registered Nurse. And their home is fucking awesome.
They have four kids, all of which I think are good kids. Then again, I only see them at christmas mostly. Or I see the oldest (who is glad to escape the other three).
Aside from them having a dishwasher, the house is kept better looking than mine on average (or at least I think so). But his wife makes it that way (because my brother is deeeeeefinitely Oscar Madison, god it was hell living at home with him, because I am Felix hehe). If they have trouble finding time, it's because they wanted the fancy home more. Their choice. With their income, they could live in a modest home with maid service too.

I don't miss the income. My wife is fully supported by my income. She does a bit of volunteer work at my sons school. I don't own a house in the "better than above average part of town" as I refer to my brothers place. Then again, I have zero likihood that I will ever have the energy to look after something that big. My place is though, considering my below poverty line income level, a lot nicer than most places, my more well off friends possess.

Choices, its all about choices. I chose to not own a car, to not smoke, to not drink, to not buy lottery tickets, because I choose to eat steak, wear new clothes (not used ones), and have a nice internet connection option.

Some people though, refuse to accept they often have to make choices. Most of us can't have it all. And even when you can, you rarely have enough hours in the day, or energy to indulge it.

To me the perfect place to live has an ordinary kitchen/livingroom, ordinary size bedrooms, one bathroom, and a dry basement where I can use a tablesaw (without worrying about the dust annoying anyone but me). More than that, and I have to do the housework on it (don't think I want to).

When I get past all the aches and pains, I think I am happier than most well off dual income couples.
You can't buy happiness, you have to make it yourself.

 

[Guest]

Choices

You can't buy happiness, you have to make it yourself.

Great life attitude, Leslie.

I think Abraham Lincoln said it best: "Most people are as happy as they want to be."

Contentment is very sexy in a person... not complacency, but contentment... there is a peace and safety about a content person.

And now, with my 100th post, I am content!

-b

 

[Svenskaflicka]

"Faber est suae quisque fortunae!"

 

[its Leslie]

I am not always "happy" I just seem to smile alot.

I am not always content, I always want more.

I am neeeeeeeeever lacking in confidence though.

I might be wrong occasionally, but I haven't got the interest to worry over what I realise is mathematically impossible to avoid.

I WILL be wrong sometimes.

What pisses me off of course, is people that refuse to accept they can be wrong.

But those ones are often the most fun to torture

There is nothing more satisfying, than shoving the truth down an idiots throat And religion gives me looooooots of satisfaction heheh.

Complacent though is a dangerous posture at best. Life always gets you when you stop and rest.

 

[Guest]

facere?

"Faber est suae quisque fortunae!"

Svenska- do you mean "Facere"?

-b

 

[Svenskaflicka]

"Fuckere"



No, I'm making a quote from my years of reading latin in school. It means: "Everyone is the blacksmitch of his own happiness."

 

[Svenskaflicka]

"Blackschmitsch"... There's that teutonic inheritance again...

 

[Guest]

fucko, fuckere, fucki, fucktus

Svenska-

LOL, I like your interpretative translation...

New International Svenskaflicka Translation... I can see it now on coffee tables around the world...

-b

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Fuckere

Fucko
Fuckis
Fuckit
Fuckimus
Fuckitis
Fuckunt

 

[Guest]

conjugation

Fuckunt... perfect!

LOL

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Fuckit = he fucks / she fucks / it fucks.

Now on for the verb "Suckere".

Sucko
Suckis
Suckit
Suckimus
Suckitis
Suckunt

Suckit, naturally, meaning he sucks / she sucks / it sucks.

 

[wildsweetone]

Leslie said:
Choices, its all about choices. I chose to not own a car, to not smoke, to not drink, to not buy lottery tickets, because I choose to eat steak, wear new clothes (not used ones), and have a nice internet connection option.

it's an interesting concept. each day i have my own opinion on what's important in my life, confirmed.

i choose to give birth to two children. i choose therefore to be a good mother and to be at home wherever possible, for my children. i choose to bring my children up myself, not to leave their growth to a creche or daycare centre. as far as i am concerned, they come first before any need to buy a new television, or playstation, or car etc...

because of those choices, i have had to learn how to seriously budget, to become as self sufficient as i am capable of becoming. and you know what? it hasn't been as bad as some told me it would be.

now, my daughter is 14, son is 12 and still i know that i've done the right thing. i've ensured wherever possible that i've been home for my kids before school and when they arrive home after school.

admittedly it's not always been easy. i have had part time jobs to help with the necessities of life. i have had a relatively 'normal' life.

but gee, i sure feel good knowing that i've been doing the best i can to help my children's growth.

sorry for diverting the thread... couldn't help myself lol