Would you like an offshoot board to the 'How To' forum?

[Bobmi357]

Good...after all, I'm a lover, not a fighter! And hopefully anyone who would actually fight over something as trivial as the name won't frequent the new board. *Knocks on wood*

(Watches Erika knocking on Hubby's woody and walks away muttering about somethings shouldn't be knocked on)....


oh you said wood! I gotta get new glasses.

 

[Kissophile]

Here is what I think is a perfect example of the sort of discussion that the offshoot forum could host:

Originally posted by zhukov1943:]/i]
What pisses me off is God killing all those people in Indonesia the day after his Son's birthday...

What a jack-ass He is.

Originally posted by Kissophile:
I find it intriguing that you would blame God for the recent earthquake in Asia when you are an avowed atheist. It's hardly on-topic for this thread, but I'd be interested to know how you blame this tragedy on a God you believe does not exist.

Please understand that this is not a personal attack of any kind - I truly am interested. For years I have seen myself as an agnostic - because I believed that I could not know the truth about God. I am still looking for it and I tend to grab after any opportunity to see how others approach the same search.

Originally posted by zhukov1943:
Oh, no - you're right, I'm an atheist. I'm just being an obnoxious dick, and pointing out to those who DO believe that the deity that they see as a "loving father" is either a homicidal maniac, or has set up a system designed to "murder" his children, and has left us alone in the house to play with the various bear-traps, poisons, and loaded shotguns...

Negligent, homicidal, or non-existent. That's the choices I see.

It's not a very likely topic for a discussion board that is devoted mostly to sexual topics, yet I think it could be quite a bit of fun and possibly very informative to hold such a discussion here in How To land.

Do any of the rest of you agree - or have I had one too many pieces of fruitcake this season already?

 

[LadyG]

See, I see that as GB material.

If you have an offshoot for relationship/sex discussion, it has to stay that or else there's no point, when there's already discussion forums.

Just because you're not comfortable or think the people are nuts, doesn't require a new board, do you get what I'm saying? IF that was the case, then everyone that didn't like the things that were said on a certain board, or the way things were discussed, would be asking for THEIR own board as well.

 

[pplwatching]

What's in a name?

FWIW I think that a basic problem of trying to compartmentalize the boards is that many times people don't know how to categorize the question that they want to ask. I don't think that naming the new board the HT Cafe is going to help guide people to the appropriate board for relationship issues. To a newbie the only difference between HT and HT Cafe is the word 'Cafe'.

IMHO how to keep a relationship working is good HT fodder. There are obvious exceptions, but often times what looks like a 'how to' question generates a very good discussion, and the poster sometimes discovers that there are deeper issues involved than what they originally thought to ask. I don't have a good name for it, but I'll throw out "Relationship How To" or "The Relationship Water Cooler" for starters.

 

[SweetErika]

See, I see that as GB material.

If you have an offshoot for relationship/sex discussion, it has to stay that or else there's no point, when there's already discussion forums.

Just because you're not comfortable or think the people are nuts, doesn't require a new board, do you get what I'm saying? IF that was the case, then everyone that didn't like the things that were said on a certain board, or the way things were discussed, would be asking for THEIR own board as well.

That's a good point, but how many individuals actually ask for new boards? We're a group of 62 now asking for one that's discussion oriented. I think the consensus is that the emphasis should be on serious discussion of relationships and sex, but there needs to be a fair amount of flexibility. There are always going to be some crossover topics that technically fit on other boards, but with the goal of actual discussion in mind, those threads will have a much different character in the new forum.
That's just my opinion and vision though.

I like the idea of policing ourselves for the most part, but I think it would be wise to discuss ground/moderator rules a little more. How can we set the tone and ensure it doesn't turn into something GB-like? What's going to be unacceptable? Should we lay a foundation for when a moderator intervenes now?

 

[LadyG]

I'm all for it, but be prepared just in case there's backlash from other areas. That's all I'm saying. And don't go by the number of yes votes, because there's always skewing due to people posting with more than one user name (it does happen).

If you're going to go for strictly relationship/sexual discussion there shouldn't be a problem.

 

[SweetErika]

Re: What's in a name?

FWIW I think that a basic problem of trying to compartmentalize the boards is that many times people don't know how to categorize the question that they want to ask. I don't think that naming the new board the HT Cafe is going to help guide people to the appropriate board for relationship issues. To a newbie the only difference between HT and HT Cafe is the word 'Cafe'.

IMHO how to keep a relationship working is good HT fodder. There are obvious exceptions, but often times what looks like a 'how to' question generates a very good discussion, and the poster sometimes discovers that there are deeper issues involved than what they originally thought to ask. I don't have a good name for it, but I'll throw out "Relationship How To" or "The Relationship Water Cooler" for starters.

Excellent points. I'd hope the original poster or someone else would start a thread on the new board and post the link on the original thread. Perhaps LadyG can remind people to do so as well. Misplaced threads can always be moved too.

 

[LadyG]

Not a problem

 

[Kissophile]

See, I see that as GB material.

If you have an offshoot for relationship/sex discussion, it has to stay that or else there's no point, when there's already discussion forums.

Just because you're not comfortable or think the people are nuts, doesn't require a new board, do you get what I'm saying? IF that was the case, then everyone that didn't like the things that were said on a certain board, or the way things were discussed, would be asking for THEIR own board as well.

This is exactly why we are calling for a separate board within the How To forum: because while this topic is technically supposed to be relegated to the GB by the forum hierarchy, such a discussion would last no more than 3 minutes on the GB before it would devolve into a morass of flaming and idiocy.

 

[LadyG]

This is exactly why we are calling for a separate board within the How To forum: because while this topic is technically supposed to be relegated to the GB by the forum hierarchy, such a discussion would last no more than 3 minutes on the GB before it would devolve into a morass of flaming and idiocy.

I'm not disagreeing with you. If the topic was a stand alone, it would be different.

I am saying that you can't expect to have a separate chat only board just because you don't like the GB/The Playground etc.

 

[Kissophile]

I'm not disagreeing with you. If the topic was a stand alone, it would be different.

I am saying that you can't expect to have a separate chat only board just because you don't like the GB/The Playground etc.

This reply confuses me for two reasons.

First, I think my earlier question clearly showed that I was talking about discussions of a serious nature (if the existence of God isn't serious enough then we have a real problem) and not chat.

Second, your reply, Lady G, seems to indicate that "chat" exists as a range along some continuum of communication but I'm not sure where the boundaries of that range are located. Please re-read the example posts I cited earlier today and tell me if they qualify as chat under your rubric.

 

[Cathleen]

I'm not disagreeing with you. If the topic was a stand alone, it would be different.

I am saying that you can't expect to have a separate chat only board just because you don't like the GB/The Playground etc.

I guess my question is why?

The GB and PG are not conducive to deeper discussion, I don't honestly think someone can produce more then a few thread in each place that is of a serious nature.

As for discussions on matters NOT sexual, I see no harm there either. There is more to life then sex - I know it must be a big surprise to some - and to limit dicussions to only a sexual nature seems silly to me.

Kisso, when I saw your posts about God with zhukov1943 my first thought was that was just the kind of topic I'd like to discuss, our lives are more then one topic, no matter that we all are at a sexual site.

As I've mentioned before I honestly the name isn't that important to me, but it does need to indicate something of different level of discussion - where everyone is welcome, no matter race, creed, orientation etc.

It could be a take off of a 'think tank', where we can share experiences and ideas in a more freestyle way.

I was going to send a note to Laurel this morning but noticed the conversation here about the issue. I would like to get a note to her tonight - so how about if we (everyone and anyone) give your final thoughts and see if we have a consenus.

 

[LadyG]

No, Kiss, what I'm saying is if you want a serious forum for discussion, keep it that way and don't let it become another GB, because that defeats the whole purpose.

I shouldn't use the word "chat", it's not meant to imply frivolity, just talking/discussing. Nothing derogatory meant.

 

[Kissophile]

No, Kiss, what I'm saying is if you want a serious forum for discussion, keep it that way and don't let it become another GB, because that defeats the whole purpose.

I shouldn't use the word "chat", it's not meant to imply frivolity, just talking/discussing. Nothing derogatory meant.

I hope that we would not have a problem keeping the general tenor quite serious. Of course keeping a forum more serious than either the GB or the PG shouldn't be too difficult. I don't have all the answers, by any means, but I think that if we ignore threads that were started by obvious trolls and let Mary Hall eat as many of the trolls as she'd like, we should be able to keep the tenor on a fairly high level.

Thanks for clarifying your use of the word "chat."

 

[Cathleen]

No, Kiss, what I'm saying is if you want a serious forum for discussion, keep it that way and don't let it become another GB, because that defeats the whole purpose.

I shouldn't use the word "chat", it's not meant to imply frivolity, just talking/discussing. Nothing derogatory meant.

I totally get it now too! Thanks LadyG.....

 

[SweetErika]

I guess my question is why?

The GB and PG are not conducive to deeper discussion, I don't honestly think someone can produce more then a few thread in each place that is of a serious nature.

As for discussions on matters NOT sexual, I see no harm there either. There is more to life then sex - I know it must be a big surprise to some - and to limit dicussions to only a sexual nature seems silly to me.

Kisso, when I saw your posts about God with zhukov1943 my first thought was that was just the kind of topic I'd like to discuss, our lives are more then one topic, no matter that we all are at a sexual site.

As I've mentioned before I honestly the name isn't that important to me, but it does need to indicate something of different level of discussion - where everyone is welcome, no matter race, creed, orientation etc.

It could be a take off of a 'think tank', where we can share experiences and ideas in a more freestyle way.

I was going to send a note to Laurel this morning but noticed the conversation here about the issue. I would like to get a note to her tonight - so how about if we (everyone and anyone) give your final thoughts and see if we have a consenus.

I know I'm not helping, but I like a take-off of "think tank". Some ideas...

HT Dialouge?
HT Discussion?
HT Conversations?
Thought & Discussion?
Discussion Rendezvous?
Discussion Springboard?

 

[Cathleen]

I know I'm not helping, but I like a take-off of "think tank". Some ideas...

HT Dialouge?
HT Discussion?
HT Conversations?
Thought & Discussion?
Discussion Rendezvous?
Discussion Springboard?

Of course you are helping Erika, you have had excellent thoughts through out this process - thanks.

I just want to get a note to Laurel somewhat soon but also leave enough time to get those last minute ideas out there.

 

[ReadyOne]

This forum may have been started with the idea of having one place where the "how to" questions are answered, and that's good idea.

However, with the topical index, we already have a place to go and find answers. You don't have to search the forum; just the sticky thread. And searching an index thread is even better because the indexer has waded through so much to save you having to do the wading yourself.

That means that this forum, who's original purpose is now preserved in the sticky thread, can be extended beyond simple "how to"s.

Any comments about this idea?

 

[SweetErika]

This forum may have been started with the idea of having one place where the "how to" questions are answered, and that's good idea.

However, with the topical index, we already have a place to go and find answers. You don't have to search the forum; just the sticky thread. And searching an index thread is even better because the indexer has waded through so much to save you having to do the wading yourself.

That means that this forum, who's original purpose is now preserved in the sticky thread, can be extended beyond simple "how to"s.

Any comments about this idea?

I'm not sure if I'm reading you correctly. Do you mean we don't need another forum because we can just discuss on here?

If that's the case, I see your point, but disagree. New topics and facets of old topics are always popping up here, and it's a great place to get quick and not-so-quick answers. If we add a bunch of other discussion threads, it might be hard to get answers to how to questions in a reasonable amount of time. I'd imagine it'd also make moderating HT more difficult as well.

 

[Bobmi357]

I have to admit that the topic that Kissy brought up (and yeah I'll call him kissy for making fun of my sense of humor LOL!), wasn't quite what I had in mind when I first proposed it. But he does pose an interesting point.

The simple fact is that How To board is basically the only section of lit for the general population to hold general conversations and its only the only place on lit that tries to do so without all the noise and static found on the other boards (with the exception of a recent new thread).

While I had envisioned a board discussing more detailed topics beyond the scope of the original how to, topics like;

Cybering, can it be used as foreplay?
Toy Reports - Feedback on various toys and adult themed gizmos.
Reconciling Religious Differences in a relationship.
Relationship issues
Serious discussion of sexual topics
An indepth comparison of WickedWoman vs Erika's boobs..
etc...

Kissy's post offers up another thread of possible topics. And while I might find that discussion intriguing and thought provoking, I would be concerned that it would devolve into netwar. Religion and Politics in a broad based context tends to end up with people taking sides and one side trying to out-shout the other.

Dealing with religion and politics as they impact a relationship may be more suitable to a new board, but I'd be reluctant participate any broad based discussion for the reason above.

I think we need to focus our topics tightly on issues and ideas which impact human sexuality and human relationship. Issues which are broad based societal issues are great and very interesting, but are too easily turned into fights.

It is unfortunate because the GB would be perfect for such a discussion. Unfortunately its lack of moderation has turned the GB into one of the single greatest wastes of net disk space online.

So thats my thoughts. Lets focus on issues which impact people at a personal level and leave the broad based societal issues to some other board which can control its membership (cuz it sure ain't gonna happen on the GB!).

 

[SweetErika]

I have to admit that the topic that Kissy brought up (and yeah I'll call him kissy for making fun of my sense of humor LOL!), wasn't quite what I had in mind when I first proposed it. But he does pose an interesting point.

The simple fact is that How To board is basically the only section of lit for the general population to hold general conversations and its only the only place on lit that tries to do so without all the noise and static found on the other boards (with the exception of a recent new thread).

While I had envisioned a board discussing more detailed topics beyond the scope of the original how to, topics like;

Cybering, can it be used as foreplay?
Toy Reports - Feedback on various toys and adult themed gizmos.
Reconciling Religious Differences in a relationship.
Relationship issues
Serious discussion of sexual topics
An indepth comparison of WickedWoman vs Erika's boobs..
etc...

Kissy's post offers up another thread of possible topics. And while I might find that discussion intriguing and thought provoking, I would be concerned that it would devolve into netwar. Religion and Politics in a broad based context tends to end up with people taking sides and one side trying to out-shout the other.

Dealing with religion and politics as they impact a relationship may be more suitable to a new board, but I'd be reluctant participate any broad based discussion for the reason above.

I think we need to focus our topics tightly on issues and ideas which impact human sexuality and human relationship. Issues which are broad based societal issues are great and very interesting, but are too easily turned into fights.

It is unfortunate because the GB would be perfect for such a discussion. Unfortunately its lack of moderation has turned the GB into one of the single greatest wastes of net disk space online.

So thats my thoughts. Lets focus on issues which impact people at a personal level and leave the broad based societal issues to some other board which can control its membership (cuz it sure ain't gonna happen on the GB!).

That comparison wouldn't happen to involve liberating the boobs from their constrictive coverings, would it?

In all seriousness, I agree that limiting the topics to those that impact people personally is the way to go. Good thing we have you Bob!

 

[Bobmi357]

That comparison wouldn't happen to involve liberating the boobs from their constrictive coverings, would it?

Nah, some things are best left with an air of mystery surrounding them.

Besides, if I'm not allowed to drool over some av's once in a while, all that drool starts to back up and gets quite messy.

In all seriousness, I agree that limiting the topics to those that impact people personally is the way to go. Good thing we have you Bob!

It just makes sense to me that instead of getting involved in long drawn out debates on societal issues, if we narrowed the focus down to the personal level more people would be able to (a) relate to the issue being discussed and (b) be able to contribute to the discussion.

Personally I'd rather deal with questions like "How do I deal with my husband whos become religious?" Or "My wife has become a republican...HELP!!!" than indulging in a general debate on the merits of either of those topics. As much as I'd wouldn't mind serious debate on societal issues, the simple fact is most debates end up as fights, and usually both sides are so entrenched no one changes their mind from such conversations.

 

[Kissophile]

the simple fact is most debates end up as fights, and usually both sides are so entrenched no one changes their mind from such conversations.

This is one of the most intractable and divisive problems in our time.

That said, I can't think of a good reason to give up on the notion of creating a place that is dedicated to civil and serious discourse. Simply by limiting ourselves to "safe" topics we would be admitting defeat before we even try.

I'm just as sick of partisan hollering matches as anyone. Why must we limit ourselves out of fear?

 

[Bobmi357]

I'm just as sick of partisan hollering matches as anyone. Why must we limit ourselves out of fear?

Its not a limitation of fear, its an acknowledgement that if we went full bore, we'd end up with GB part two.

Most people are unwilling to accept a critical examination of their fundamental beliefs. Which explains why in this day and age, we have so many people in this country that would rather believe in some form of creationism than evolution. It also explains why we've managed to elect a repressionist government again. People will fight you if you try to strip away their core beliefs, you can thrust the evidense against those beliefs all day long and they will dig in their heels and refuse to see it.

I'm not against discussing societal issues, I'm against those discussions turning into a shouting match. And unless there is some way you can ensure they don't. Then the topics are best left alone.

 

[BlueSugar]

ok, I've read through the thread finally...

ya'll want a board that isn't the playground or the GB but another one like it as a spin off from the HT so ya'll have somewhere to go that isn't stupid nonscence or political gabber?

I thought that is what PM/AIM/Email was for?

Its a good idea, I just don't think Lit needs another spin off board... what would set this board apart from the others and keep the stupid jabber and nonsense on the other boards... and what is its connection to the HT, the people? Because if theres a will theres a way, there will always be dumb people to ruin good things as long as good things exist.

Can I suggest it has no connection to the HT, and is simply for called Polite Talk or somthing like that? In the sticky for the forum state that this isn't for politics or stupid alt wars or a playground for the trolls etc and its just ...well... polite talk, all others will be put on ignore.

BC if it doesn't stand out against all the other boards Laurel/Manu has given us... there really isn't a point. And we'll have to hack it in PM/Email/IM or the GB or PG.. do a search for our friends posts and ignore the stupidity... its a pain in the ass, but it isn't so bad, some of the people are uber cool anyway.