Your first bdsm fantasy...

[SlyKitten]

(I still feel very awkward posting in the BDSM forums, but here goes) I had a book, I don't know if they printed those in the US, where you read a chapter and chose option a), b) or c). Option a) tells you to turn to page 424, so you go to page 424 and read the chapter only to choose how the story evolve by choosing either option a) or b) and go to page 257 if you choose option b)...

We called those 'Un livre dont vous etes le heros' and there were themes, like vampires, detectives, aliens, medieval....

So there I was, reading and playing along when I chose the wrong option and ended up captured by the evil alien monster. And there was a drawing of that monster; humanoid and slimy, with big teeth, very ugly. Well, there the fantasy started: I was captured by this ignoble creature, forced to serve it in any way it wished. If I didn't do a satisfying job, it would get very angry and insult and punish me.

 

[serijules]

I prefer to do my "tickling" with a flogger, crop or cane... or a violet wand.

i like you

 

[Netzach]

I was the emperor and everyone had to do whatever I wanted.

Need I add that the emperor also happened to be a Tyrannosaurus Rex?

 

[Technodivinitas]

*Rushing in breathless, and late as usual*

Wow- lots to address, and quoting everyone would be hard right now, so forgive me if I have forgotten who said what- y'all know who you are, I think.

First- DVS: You're av does move!!! EEEK! Creeped me out. Saw that last night and stared at it for a while, and it didn't do anything, so I was like... whoa. I must be more tired than I thought. Then (who?) commented on it on this thread, and it made me think that maybe it was just because the av looks like it might move any second. But there it was, just as I actually glanced at it. Sneaky. Creepy. I love it.

As for the tickling- ew. Well, not exactly ew, perse... I actually love the attention of being tickled, and the sensation of being overpowered, but I have asthma, and hard tickling triggers an attack pretty much every time, so that's not fun. Sadly.

But the flopping around struggling- have you considered SW's predilection for electricity? That can definitely lead to similar responses, can be equally pleasurable/painful at the same time, and so VERY powerful and scary!

Slykitten metioned 'pick-your-own-adventure books? Yes, we had those here when I was a kid, and I think that (and several D&D scenarios,) inspired a number of my fanstasies as well. The "Captured by the gross evil baddie" fantasy was a very deep one for me, at a shockingly early age... My first memory of BDsM thoughts/behaviors is from when I was five. I recall lying on sharp gravel in the driveway, imagining being actually tortured, and I don't think I even knew there was such a thing as torture interrogations at that point. I had a thread on this back when I first joined Lit I think- about the development and progression of our various fantasies and desires, although I don't recall for certain. (I know I considered posting about it...)

I know that I have always had a fetish for demons, and that back in the early days, my fantiasies always involved "the Rescue" by some shining hero, (but never until after I had been terribly violated,) who would tenderly protect me and soothe my horror and grief and shame. Gradually, that evolved into the hero forced to watch helplessly as I was debased, (the baser the better...) And eventually, the hero vanished altogether, at least from the majority of the fantasies. (I fantasize a LOT.) Mom found some porn I wrote when I was twelve, and was so horrified I can't even describe. *L* "Nobody can DO those things! The things those people do- they would kill you!"

Don't want to hijack the thread, and I think this is technically still on topic... do y'all find that your fantasies evolve in that way? Do they just seem to progress, or do they tend to escalate? Does that ever concern you?

 

[Technodivinitas]

I was the emperor and everyone had to do whatever I wanted.

Need I add that the emperor also happened to be a Tyrannosaurus Rex?

Netzach- you are so cool.
~StalkPOUNCE!~
And, Hi there!

And sigsauerprinces-? Your av is surprisingly sexy... Can I do you, before you shoot yourself, or is that a passive-aggressive "topping from the bottom" thing?

 

[FurryFury]

Tickling is fun

Oh! That is a VERY interesting link! *sighs* I love to tickle! I am really, really bad about it. My poor husband and kids! He he he. I have had to become an armored not at all ticklish person because of the tickle wars we have here. There are a few spots. A very few that still get me. My husband knows where they are and if I torture him too much he uses that knowledge.

In fact, my son remarked on how noisy we were the other night...Oops! Yeah I giggle and scream. He is loud too. It sounds like I'm killing him! Like is just a tickle fest!

Oh, I understand what you mean. Tickling is a very powerful feeling, and if you are tied up and out of control, it can be torturous. I don't advise it as something a Dom should do to his sub for any length of time. Some people are very ticklish and don't see it as sexual at all.

But, I understand what he meant by his fantasy of it. It wasn't the tickling so mush as the violent movement it caused in her, trying to get away. I am aroused by such movement, but I know tickling isn't the way to accomplish it.

Now, as a fantasy, and if it stays a fantasy, I see no problem with it. But, as a reality, long term tickling can cause such a violent reaction in some people that it would last long after they were untied. I wouldn't turn my back on someone in that frame of mind. Man knows no wrath like that of a bound woman tickled?

My next installment is close to posting.

I can't wait for your next installment DVS! *grins*

Fury

 

[mitchell67]

re: BBC, BDSM division

I owe my earliest recollection of D/s fantasies to Dianna Rigg as Emma Peel. She would sport the most amazing outfits, both very well tailored with a hint of bondage, almost subliminally.
And every couple of episodes she would be either tied up, helplessly encaged, or something else more creative. A few years back the library had some of the series and I checked a few out. I can only conclude that at 5 I was captivated by Emma's good looks and strong, intelligent character and the BDSM undertones. There is no way that I could have followed the plots nor the dialogue.

 

[Private_Label]

Hmmmm. I've never been tickled as foreplay. Then again, I've never had any trouble with the whole needing to be led into bdsm

L.

*raises hand* I was 14 at the time and my tormentor was my 15 year old step brother. Tickled and wrestled with followed by him pullin gme onto his bed... him deciding the room had too much light and ending with him dry humping me on the floor of the walk in closet. He put pillows down , but they were on top of a toy fire truck...

Hard to imagine all these years later that my step brother is Gay.

 

[DVS]

*raises hand* I was 14 at the time and my tormentor was my 15 year old step brother. Tickled and wrestled with followed by him pullin gme onto his bed... him deciding the room had too much light and ending with him dry humping me on the floor of the walk in closet. He put pillows down , but they were on top of a toy fire truck...

Hard to imagine all these years later that my step brother is Gay.

The toy firetruck must have had something to do with it.

 

[DVS]

...I can't wait for your next installment DVS! *grins*

Fury

Thanks. I have been less than regular with that, lately, haven't I. Sorry. Summer months tend to be busy. But, I am working on it.

 

[FurryFury]

Not sure it's my first. It's just the first I remember. I was in fifth grade. So I was about 12 or so I guess. I still sometimes use it. Basically being in a public place a bar/cafe. It's black and white baby, a smokey little joint. I am caught and restrained then gang raped by a bunch of nasty, and I mean physically as well as mentally nasty, men. Back then it was Nazi's. LOL. One of them however was Yul Bryner from the movie The Journey with Debra Kerr, which I caught on the late, late show. Secretly I enjoyed him that was the most shameful part to secretly enjoy it.

Fury

 

[fsmepls]

my first fantasy was the classic best friends mom. she was only about 15 years older than we were and she was HOT! i used to take her panties out of the hamper in their bathroom and smell them when i was 12 or 13. i still remember how they smelt 20 years later. finally i just couldn't help myself and i stole a pair. i used to fantazise that she would find out and spank me.

 

[fsmepls]

bump!

 

[Private_Label]

One of them however was Yul Bryner from the movie The Journey with Debra Kerr,:

I still prefer the King and I starring Yule Brenner over the newer one staring Jodi Foster.

Now there was a Dom. ...

 

[FurryFury]

I still prefer the King and I start=ring Yule Brenner over the newer one staring Jodi Foster.

Now there was a Dom. ...

Yeah baybee! I quite agree!

*GRINS*

Fury

 

[sigsauerprinces]

Netzach- you are so cool.
~StalkPOUNCE!~
And, Hi there!

And sigsauerprinces-? Your av is surprisingly sexy... Can I do you, before you shoot yourself, or is that a passive-aggressive "topping from the bottom" thing?

isnt it tho? i adore that pic. theres something about the expression on his face...and the gun doesnt hurt, either

 

[FurryFury]

Thanks. I have been less than regular with that, lately, haven't I. Sorry. Summer months tend to be busy. But, I am working on it.

I understand DVS!

My Summers are too busy too. I've lost my muse lately. Can't wait to see your
next installment!



Fury

 

[marieR19]

Mom found some porn I wrote when I was twelve, and was so horrified I can't even describe. *L* "Nobody can DO those things! The things those people do- they would kill you!"

OMG!!! My mom caught me too.... except it was really really horrible, because at the time I was in outpatient treatment at a mental hospital, so mom was already freaking out enough. Then one night she finds/reads a page of my incest/abuse story, and man I thought I would have to run away. She went totally nuts. And to this day I can't mention writing (I want to be an author) without her saying something to the affect of "I hope it's appropriate writing." Yeah, I ignore that. What can I say? It may not be appropriate to her..... lol
As for the topic.... Wow. I definately didn't think of it as bdsm-related at the time, but now I've realized differently. I first started out realizing "who I am" by realizing how badly I wanted someone to be in control of me, someone to make me do things I didn't want to do, yell at me, hit me... I was like nine years old at the time, and the only thing I'd heard of like that was child abuse, yunno? So for the first two years or so of my exploration into "bdsm" as I know it now, I would read books about child abuse and fantasize about it. It probably sounds horrible, but reading those David Peltzer books? TOTALLY got me turned on. This book called "When She Was Bad"... it was a few years before my fantasies of child abuse turned sexual and into actual bdsm, but even back then it got me sooooo turned on.


Marie

 

[jasonlf]

OMG!!! My mom caught me too.... except it was really really horrible, because at the time I was in outpatient treatment at a mental hospital, so mom was already freaking out enough. Then one night she finds/reads a page of my incest/abuse story, and man I thought I would have to run away. She went totally nuts. And to this day I can't mention writing (I want to be an author) without her saying something to the affect of "I hope it's appropriate writing." Yeah, I ignore that. What can I say? It may not be appropriate to her..... lol
As for the topic.... Wow. I definately didn't think of it as bdsm-related at the time, but now I've realized differently. I first started out realizing "who I am" by realizing how badly I wanted someone to be in control of me, someone to make me do things I didn't want to do, yell at me, hit me... I was like nine years old at the time, and the only thing I'd heard of like that was child abuse, yunno? So for the first two years or so of my exploration into "bdsm" as I know it now, I would read books about child abuse and fantasize about it. It probably sounds horrible, but reading those David Peltzer books? TOTALLY got me turned on. This book called "When She Was Bad"... it was a few years before my fantasies of child abuse turned sexual and into actual bdsm, but even back then it got me sooooo turned on.

I've wondered about that myself... what would happen if someone discovered my posts and stuff on here.

It's a scary thought sometimes, and a liberating one other times.

 

[serijules]

Mine go back to a very early age and it's funny...due to a head injury awhile back, I lost a lot of memories from childhood and whatnot, but these ones are very vivid to me still.

I remember it was night time, I was about 5 or maybe 6. Dad was snowblowing the driveway (we lived in the country and had very bright yardlights so for some reason he was doing this in the evening) and I was playing on the swingset. I had a lot of padding on from my snowsuit, and the blowing snow from the snowblower was blocking me from view of my dad and the house. So I was "alone" even though there was someone right there, which thrilled me.

I was imagining that there was a devil, and he ruled my sandbox/swingset. I was bad, so I was sent to him and had to do whatever he ordered. He ordered me to mount the straight bar of the A-frame of the swingset...like a wooden pony. I remember it hurt my cunt bad, but the padding made it bareable, and I had to stay like that for a certain period of time before I was allowed off. I have quite a few more memories of playing that game, although mostly in the winter because in the summer, wearing shorts, I couldn't actually sit on the bar that way without any padding, as my feet didn't touch the ground and it was too painful without the snowsuit.

That's just one of many things of that sort I did. I was definately born to love to be controlled.

 

[sigsauerprinces]

OMG!!! My mom caught me too.... except it was really really horrible, because at the time I was in outpatient treatment at a mental hospital, so mom was already freaking out enough. Then one night she finds/reads a page of my incest/abuse story, and man I thought I would have to run away. She went totally nuts. And to this day I can't mention writing (I want to be an author) without her saying something to the affect of "I hope it's appropriate writing." Yeah, I ignore that. What can I say? It may not be appropriate to her..... lol
As for the topic.... Wow. I definately didn't think of it as bdsm-related at the time, but now I've realized differently. I first started out realizing "who I am" by realizing how badly I wanted someone to be in control of me, someone to make me do things I didn't want to do, yell at me, hit me... I was like nine years old at the time, and the only thing I'd heard of like that was child abuse, yunno? So for the first two years or so of my exploration into "bdsm" as I know it now, I would read books about child abuse and fantasize about it. It probably sounds horrible, but reading those David Peltzer books? TOTALLY got me turned on. This book called "When She Was Bad"... it was a few years before my fantasies of child abuse turned sexual and into actual bdsm, but even back then it got me sooooo turned on.


Marie

lol i was caught as well. since early on i had these fantasies, and no outlet for them, i found that one outlet was writing a story about what i wished would really happen to me. i wrote my first rape fantasy when i was 12 AND MY MOM FOUND IT. i was mortified. the funny thing was tho, she never said anything-i found it tucked away in a box when i was searching for xmas presents in her closet (lol). but just knowing that she had read it was horrible. its something i've vowed never to do to my kids-i will give them their privacy and not read anything of theirs i'm not invited to.

 

[DVS]

lol i was caught as well. since early on i had these fantasies, and no outlet for them, i found that one outlet was writing a story about what i wished would really happen to me. i wrote my first rape fantasy when i was 12 AND MY MOM FOUND IT. i was mortified. the funny thing was tho, she never said anything-i found it tucked away in a box when i was searching for xmas presents in her closet (lol). but just knowing that she had read it was horrible. its something i've vowed never to do to my kids-i will give them their privacy and not read anything of theirs i'm not invited to.

why did she keep it, do you think?

My mother found a book I was writing, when I was about 18. She never admitted she tossed it out, but she was the only one who could have. I hated that, because I had over 100 pages (hand typed on an old typewriter---the olden days) and I couldn't begin to redo it. It was a story of my life. Maybe she didn't want to be the star that she was in it. I did have my share of troubles back then. LOL

 

[sigsauerprinces]

why did she keep it, do you think?

My mother found a book I was writing, when I was about 18. She never admitted she tossed it out, but she was the only one who could have. I hated that, because I had over 100 pages (hand typed on an old typewriter---the olden days) and I couldn't begin to redo it. It was a story of my life. Maybe she didn't want to be the star that she was in it. I did have my share of troubles back then. LOL

i dunno...thats a good question actually. another time i found a few pics i'd cut out of magazines and saved-found them in her closet. pics i'd saved cuz they were bdsm ish in nature and i liked looking at them...i think she thought-"this is bad, i need to take this away from her so she'll stop being interested in that bad stuff", but i think she was too embarassed by it to bring it up with me. she never talked about sex to me-never told me about the birds and the beez. the sum total of her advice to me re: sex was "dont get pregnant". i had no idea what a period was when i got mine (early, when i'd just turned 11) and when i saw the blood i thought i was dying. i went and told her and THEN she explained-well, she left out sex of course, she just said something along the lines of this happens when you become a woman and it happens so that you can have a baby. later that year we got sex ed in school and i learned everything.

but yeah..i think she just had no idea what to say to me about it. "so, you wrote this story about wanting a strange man to come rape you and hit you-whats THAT all about?" lol. i think she just didnt know what to say, and held onto the story in the hopes that someday she would.

 

[SweetDommes]

I don't remember when I started doing this, but I remember for sure that I was doing it at about age 10 (because I quit playing with my barbies shortly after LOL) - I had total Dominatrix Barbies - Ken did as he was told, normally for large groups of my Barbies (because I only had 3 Kens and about 20 Barbies). There was a lot of oral servitude and bondage.

It took me another 15 years to really figure it out though ... when I quit playing with the dolls, I kind of put the fantasies on hold ... I still had the thoughts, but I had self esteem issues that started not too long after that, and the fantasies didn't really come back until I fixed them many many years later.

*edited because the 2 and 1 keys are way too close to each other LOL*

 

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