trust issues
- Thread starter newideas
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Surely at some point this has to stop? Yup, I've cheated on my male, with my ex, I do believe 2 days after we decided to give it a go. He decided to stay, end of story. Now almost 5 years and a kid and half (currently pregnant) later, wouldn't you say it's time to let it go?
Oh, obviously, lack of trust on his side
subwannabe
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I take this from a different angle. I'm going to assume for the sake of arguement that trust basically is referring to cheating and affairs. I have seen in many cases where one person does not trust the other that the real problem is the first person who does not trust is actually the person who cheated and I guess they feel they can't trust the other person because they know that if they cheated then the other one might be cheating on them too. There is an old expression that whenever you point your finger at someone your thumb is pointing back at you.
K
Kitty_Schrödinger
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Couldn't say it better myself!
Mac98
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I have a hard time seeing how your thumb could logically be pointing back at you... it sounds like a weird way to point the finger. I'm just saying...
as for the subject of discussion, I have trust issues, but most of the time (at least for me), you can sense someone who's trustworthy and someone who's not. Most of the time it happens when the relationship is in a rough spot and usually the amount of love received from your partner to you isn't as high as it was a while back. I trust as much as I feel I'm loved. Period.
infinity706
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It depends on whether you have a somewhat double jointed thumb.
coastal-boy
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It depends on whether you have a somewhat double jointed thumb.
or if you point at yourself in the mirror
Mac98
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Ya, but then the thumb is kinda' irrelevant since your index finger is pointing at you anyways...
Luna_Bella
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Same here, as for him trusting me thats an other story, he's told me many times that he doesn't
(and no he doesn't have a reason not to trust me).... It insults me to the highest point but I have chosen to deal with it so I can't complain
PertPerth
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I believe that insecurity can be just as harmful to a relationship as infidelity. I've been cheated on leading to break-ups, but I've been at fault in other relationships by being too insecure (not scared about being cheated on, just scared of being dumped). Trust is so important, and each couple needs to work on it in their own way.
Erryn_Silver
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If there's a reason I need to not trust my significant other or be jealous, it's not a good relationship for me.
Miles_Cassidy
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I couldn't agree more!
fgarvb1
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LOL!
I'm ACOA and a few other things.
I don't even "Trust" myself sometimes!
Do you have any ideal how long and how many group meetings I had to go to to learn how to appropriately trust people and to what extent?
And what was appropriate and not?
I'm not even going to get into Fear of abandonment issues!
Some people don't know how lucky they are!
I'm ACOA and a few other things.
I don't even "Trust" myself sometimes!
Do you have any ideal how long and how many group meetings I had to go to to learn how to appropriately trust people and to what extent?
And what was appropriate and not?
I'm not even going to get into Fear of abandonment issues!
Some people don't know how lucky they are!
subgirl2
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I think each relationship should be judged on its own merits but when a man deliberatlely builds you up only to knock you down then it is going to be hard to trust in future relationships.
At some stage you have to take a chance and open your heart to someone. I took a chance 2 times and guess how many times I was shit on...that's right. 2 times.
Sometimes I wonder if it's worth the trouble, but people generally say you have to take the chance and the next time it may be different. deep breaths all round.
At some stage you have to take a chance and open your heart to someone. I took a chance 2 times and guess how many times I was shit on...that's right. 2 times.
Sometimes I wonder if it's worth the trouble, but people generally say you have to take the chance and the next time it may be different. deep breaths all round.
nerk
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Sometimes when you point the finger, it's because you came home from work early and found her naked in bed, stinking of butt sex with that guy she said was her cousin who's been sleeping on the couch for the last two weeks.
But as she pointed out, what kind of a relationship can we have if I don't trust her?
But as she pointed out, what kind of a relationship can we have if I don't trust her?
Red_and_Mackie
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I agree.
My trust issues in the past have not been because of my partners. They have been because I knew what I was capable of doing: I have a rather deep bastard streak in me.
I always assumed if I could do it to them, they could do it to me. Better to protect myself by assuming the worst. I am now in a relationship and trust my partner completely. But I also trust myself to keep the bastard streak in check. Trusting myself to never hurt her makes it easier to trust her to do the same for me.
I believe most everyone has some level of trust issues. Granted mine were made extremely worse when I was cheated on by my ex hubby. Before we were married (mainly because he had cheated on wife number one and gotten another woman pregnant) I asked him to promise me that if he EVER found someone he thought he couldn't live without, not fuck, etc...just let me know and we could part ways amicably. Of course that did not happen. He found someone and spent the better part of three years with her right under my nose...I was young and stupid for not leaving yes.
I haven't had a serious relationship in nine years since my divorce, not because I don't think I can't trust someone, it is just that I choose not to trust anyone.
At some point in time I might choose to trust again, but until then....it easier to stay 'unhurt' than to risk my heart and soul being abused....
I haven't had a serious relationship in nine years since my divorce, not because I don't think I can't trust someone, it is just that I choose not to trust anyone.
At some point in time I might choose to trust again, but until then....it easier to stay 'unhurt' than to risk my heart and soul being abused....
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meop79
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That's a sad story, I hope someday you find someone who makes you want to trust again.
