Pmann's Advice by Pmann Thread- Ask Me Shit

[Lord Pmann]

So, someone was telling me of a dilemma in which they're involved. Well, as I was thinking about my advice and pondering on how amazing it was, I decided this kind of thing might be helpful for you all to see. Also, it has been a while since I started a thread.

As well, you could post your advice to the questioneer and I'll tell you why my advice is better. Some of you may even have a good word of advice

You can PM me your questions and I'll post them, anonymously, and answer them, not anonymously. If you don't care about anonymity, post your question here.

I will create a cute little name for you, too.

Since I have a reputation of being a dick, this is my way of giving back to the community. I shall give you safe advice. I'm like a fucking oracle, I swear.

Here is the question from the earlier message (posted with permission). My answer will come later.

Question 1:

Lord Pmann,

I have a dilemma that I’d like your advice on...

There is a guy that I am crazy about. It’s only been a week and a half, but he’s pretty awesome and we have a hot connection as well as we have a lot in common. I see the potential for him to be in my life for a long time even though we haven’t known each other for very long. He would like to have me all to himself (exclusive) but I am a little scared to jump on that ship. He’s the one I want, but I’m afraid if I give up everyone else I’m talking to, he will up and leave and I will have screwed myself over.

Sincerely,

Wildly Hopeful Or Really Erratic?

Feel free to post your responses in the mean time!

 

[Lonelywife1205]

Dear Lord Pmann,
What is the appropriate amount of time to wait once you start talking with someone online for the conversation to turn to a sexual nature? How do you balance being a lady with your dirty, kinky side?

Signed,
Asking for a slutty friend...

 

[Apisto42]

Dear Lord Pmann,
What is the appropriate amount of time to wait once you start talking with someone online for the conversation to turn to a sexual nature? How do you balance being a lady with your dirty, kinky side?

Signed,
Asking for a slutty friend...

Dear slutty friend,

If your “friend’s” friend makes your friend’s panties wet, throw caution to the prudes and tell her to be a cock gobbling gutter whore. You only live once, might as well as fun. I mean your “friend” might as well as fun. You’re obviously a lady who just makes questionable choices in friends.

Timing differs for everyone. Maybe your “friend’s” friend is a well adjusted cock slinger who knows that a woman can be both a lady of the highest repute and a total slut for the right cock.

A

 

[Lonelywife1205]

Dear slutty friend,

If your “friend’s” friend makes your friend’s panties wet, throw caution to the prudes and tell her to be a cock gobbling gutter whore. You only live once, might as well as fun. I mean your “friend” might as well as fun. You’re obviously a lady who just makes questionable choices in friends.

Timing differs for everyone. Maybe your “friend’s” friend is a well adjusted cock slinger who knows that a woman can be both a lady of the highest repute and a total slut for the right cock.

A

Hee hee
I’ll give you my friend’s Skype, and you can sext her from the train.

 

[Lord Pmann]

Lord Pmann,

I have a dilemma that I’d like your advice on...

There is a guy that I am crazy about. It’s only been a week and a half, but he’s pretty awesome and we have a hot connection as well as we have a lot in common. I see the potential for him to be in my life for a long time even though we haven’t known each other for very long. He would like to have me all to himself (exclusive) but I am a little scared to jump on that ship. He’s the one I want, but I’m afraid if I give up everyone else I’m talking to, he will up and leave and I will have screwed myself over.

Sincerely,

Wildly Hopeful Or Really Erratic?

Dear WHORE,

Thanks for your submission. There are several parts to this.

1. It seems like you’re questioning Lit monogamy and whether you can quit whoring around enough to be with just the one guy. Some people think that’s bogus and can’t be done here. I say that is foolish and anyone who says that can eat a bag of dicks. Monogamy would be hard here, unless you find the right person. She would have to have a pretty face and big boobs and be funny. Or whatever you girls like.

2. You’ve only known the guy a week and a half. You haven’t yet found out that his dick pic was actually a horse. You also haven’t found out the other 9 women he’s e-fucking. So I’d say you might want to give it some time and get him tested for e-herpes.

3. Back to whoring around- are you ready to give that up? I’ll let you in on a secret... some people here aren’t classy like me and they wag their jiggly bits at anyone who will look. I’m not implying you’re one of them, but it sounds like you enjoy your freedom. So just know you’ll be giving up things like tribute pics and audios if guys making noises akin to dropping an anvil on their big toe. What a sacrifice.

So all in all, I’d say you should decide if the whoring is important or if guy one is important. Or guy two. When you lay down in bed at night, who is on your mind?

#SpotOn

 

[Sweet_Cupcake]

*****

 

[Lord Pmann]

*****

Cryptic...

 

[blade_rocknut]

Dear Aluster's Potentate Pmann;

When fielding a question which requires calculation based upon the air speed of a swallow, does one default to the European or African swallow? Perhaps request an addendum to the query?

 

[Trekka]

Maybe your “friend’s” friend is a well adjusted cock slinger who knows that a woman can be both a lady of the highest repute and a total slut for the right cock.

Preach

 

[blade_rocknut]

Dear Lord Pmann,
What is the appropriate amount of time to wait once you start talking with someone online for the conversation to turn to a sexual nature? How do you balance being a lady with your dirty, kinky side?

Signed,
Asking for a slutty friend...

Obviously, you look for subtle clues that they're receptive to such sordid endeavors.

*runs to pm*

 

[kurrginatorX]

Dear Aluster's Potentate Pmann;

When fielding a question which requires calculation based upon the air speed of a swallow, does one default to the European or African swallow? Perhaps request an addendum to the query?

If I may be so bold, I think Pmann's advice would be:

Dear cum-drunk whore,

To swallow, or not to swallow, that is the question, so the answer to that query is yes, swallow. Insofar as speed of swallowing is concerned, don't be hasty. Savor it. Roll it around your mouth to experience every nuance of that thick, rich treat.

 

[Lonelywife1205]

Obviously, you look for subtle clues that they're receptive to such sordid endeavors.

*runs to pm*

My slutty friend says she has received no such PM’s from you. *pouts*

 

[DeckardNYC]

Pmann, some inspiration for this new thread: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b2ccC4aULow

 

[blade_rocknut]

My slutty friend says she has received no such PM’s from you. *pouts*

Slutty friend is not a patient friend.

*noted*

 

[Lord Pmann]

Dear Lord Pmann,
What is the appropriate amount of time to wait once you start talking with someone online for the conversation to turn to a sexual nature? How do you balance being a lady with your dirty, kinky side?

Signed,
Asking for a slutty friend...
Completely Unclothed Next Time?

That was the worst sign off ever, so I’m fixing it for you. (See above)

Dear CUNT,

Thank you for your question. Like the original question, this is another question about whoring. Must be a full moon.

Your CUNTy friend is probably wondering this as to not appear too slutty to the guy she has just met. She’s caught between a cock and a hard place, here. On one tit, if she shows her goodies too soon he may go and leave because guys hate when that happens.

Just kidding. Show him your bits IMMEDIATELY. There is nothing a guy enjoys more than seeing naked girls. It’s like there are a bunch of naked woman fetishists here on this site.

You, err- your slutty friend, must weigh out these two things. Is horniness>pride? And do I care? If the answer is Yes No, then bingo. Let those titties fly. If it’s No Yes or No No, then shut that thing like a Venus Fly Trap. If the answer is Yes Yes... they you have to think about it.

PSA

I also answer questions about math, music, taxes, electrical theory, etc. I am not just an advice giver on whoring.

 

[blade_rocknut]

Clearly, this thread has a theme, and is deserving of a...well; theme song.

Prove me wrong; this is it.

https://youtu.be/NraGiYOGHlk

 

[SadieAnne]

I go to pmann for everything.

Literally.

I do.

 

[Trekka]

I go to pmann for everything.

Literally.

I do.

Oh dear.

 

[DeckardNYC]

Clearly, this thread has a theme, and is deserving of a...well; theme song.

Prove me wrong; this is it.

https://youtu.be/NraGiYOGHlk

^^^
agreed.

 

[SadieAnne]

Oh dear.

Wait. I can never tell who is truly a pmann fan or not? Is this sarcastic?!

 

[Taegul]

Clearly, this thread has a theme, and is deserving of a...well; theme song.

Prove me wrong; this is it.

https://youtu.be/NraGiYOGHlk

Well to be honest when I think of Lord Pmann, I think of...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4dAy9u0_9nM

and I think that's him in the video...

 

[85Ironman]

I go to pmann for everything.

Literally.

I do.

Oh dear.

Wait. I can never tell who is truly a pmann fan or not? Is this sarcastic?!

No.

 

[Lonelywife1205]

Slutty friend is not a patient friend.

*noted*

Slutty friend fanning herself over the hotness that just arrived in her inbox.

 

[Lonelywife1205]

That was the worst sign off ever, so I’m fixing it for you. (See above)

Dear CUNT,

Thank you for your question. Like the original question, this is another question about whoring. Must be a full moon.

Your CUNTy friend is probably wondering this as to not appear too slutty to the guy she has just met. She’s caught between a cock and a hard place, here. On one tit, if she shows her goodies too soon he may go and leave because guys hate when that happens.

Just kidding. Show him your bits IMMEDIATELY. There is nothing a guy enjoys more than seeing naked girls. It’s like there are a bunch of naked woman fetishists here on this site.

You, err- your slutty friend, must weigh out these two things. Is horniness>pride? And do I care? If the answer is Yes No, then bingo. Let those titties fly. If it’s No Yes or No No, then shut that thing like a Venus Fly Trap. If the answer is Yes Yes... they you have to think about it.

PSA

I also answer questions about math, music, taxes, electrical theory, etc. I am not just an advice giver on whoring.

My CUNTY friend thanks you for this solid advice.

 

[Lord Pmann]

Dear Aluster's Potentate Pmann;

When fielding a question which requires calculation based upon the air speed of a swallow, does one default to the European or African swallow? Perhaps request an addendum to the query?

Sincerely,

Meditating On Nature Things Yearningly (sorry, y is a hard letter

Dear MONTY,

I would never use the European swallow. They use the metric system and we all know the metric system is the devil's measurement system. Metric comes from the Latin Mestrophic which comes from the word Mephistopheles.

Your friend,

Lord P