Fuck It: Refux

[RosewoodTulip]

Blow jobs are fun. I am more turned on and feel more sexy when there’s choking and hair pulling, and tears running down my face… ahem…

There’s a sliding scale surely, but what would I know, I’m sooooo outta practice

I am completely with you there. Last time I saw my fwb he did this and it was incredible

I am unfortunately also with you on the lack of practice

 

[Mo_Bandy]

Blow jobs are fun. I am more turned on and feel more sexy when there’s choking and hair pulling, and tears running down my face… ahem…

There’s a sliding scale surely, but what would I know, I’m sooooo outta practice

There’s another way?

 

[RosewoodTulip]

You guys this was such a great discussion!
You all had to do it while I slept though
(I always miss all the fun)

I'd never considered vanilla/kink to be subjective but I guess it actually is.

The more time I'm spending here the more I'm understanding that even though I can enjoy "vanilla" sex I've never really been that way. I just didn't have anyone I trusted to show me what there could be.

 

[HoneyMeadows]

You guys this was such a great discussion!
You all had to do it while I slept though
(I always miss all the fun)

I came here to say this!

Vanilla is subjective. I posit that vanilla is when you're comfortable, anything that feels slightly uncomfortable or "more" is entering kinky territory.

However, by being on this site I also suggest that none of us are vanilla

 

[hopeful_wife]

I don’t earn enough in my country to afford the flight

This needs to change. Solidarity, sister.

Oh I call you a shit in the same loving tone as I call you dearest

In my family, asshole is a term of endearment.

We do plenty of things sexually that fall under what many would consider D/s, specifically involving bondage, but we don't have any formal agreement

As soon as she's attached to your spreader bar or otherwise incapacitated, the D/s stuff has begun. You have control in that moment and she has relinquished it to you.

 

[Saltfountain]

I came here to say this!

Vanilla is subjective. I posit that vanilla is when you're comfortable, anything that feels slightly uncomfortable or "more" is entering kinky territory.

However, by being on this site I also suggest that none of us are vanilla

I'd counter that by saying I've never felt uncomfortable with anything other than bodyshaming, which I just can't do.

However, I'm totally comfortable hurting people till they cry, making them bleed, making them drink piss (if these are their things) etc. I'd say none of these are vanilla by any stretch of the imagination...

 

[MrsPassion]

Surely there is somewhere on the whole internet that has an accurate definition of Vanilla/Kink lol

I have to wonder though how much of those definitions are subjective? If you naturally experienced sex one way that in your earlier years of sex felt right, natural and normal, but later you learned are defined as kink does that make your personal baseline for vanilla any different?

Also how much loyalty do we owe the textbook definitions of kink/vanilla? Are they true north stars or is there fluidity?

Too much thinking before coffee.

 

[Icekiller56]

Surely there is somewhere on the whole internet that has an accurate definition of Vanilla/Kink lol

I have to wonder though how much of those definitions are subjective? If you naturally experienced sex one way that in your earlier years of sex felt right, natural and normal, but later you learned are defined as kink does that make your personal baseline for vanilla any different?

Also how much loyalty do we owe the textbook definitions of kink/vanilla? Are they true north stars or is there fluidity?

Too much thinking before coffee.

I’d say when it comes to kinks the definitions are pretty fluid. I think this is mostly because people are having to do their own research into things. I hope this makes sense, not enough coffee

 

[barefootgirl69]

Kink is a term used to define unconventional sexual practices, concepts or fantasies....that's the basic internet definition.

But, "unconventional" to whom? Society? It's always society, isn't it? I can't use a broad scope to knock it away, though, because there are other things I'm glad aren't accepted by society these days! I can't mention them on Lit per the rules.

Maybe we are putting too much emphasis on definitions instead of my motto...just do what feels right at that moment. Allow the pleasure and forget what anyone else would say.

 

[MrsPassion]

Kink is a term used to define unconventional sexual practices, concepts or fantasies....that's the basic internet definition.

But, "unconventional" to whom? Society? It's always society, isn't it? I can't use a broad scope to knock it away, though, because there are other things I'm glad aren't accepted by society these days! I can't mention them on Lit per the rules.

Maybe we are putting too much emphasis on definitions instead of my motto...just do what feels right at that moment. Allow the pleasure and forget what anyone else would say.

Cheers to that!

 

[Saltfountain]

Kink is a term used to define unconventional sexual practices, concepts or fantasies....that's the basic internet definition.

But, "unconventional" to whom? Society? It's always society, isn't it? I can't use a broad scope to knock it away, though, because there are other things I'm glad aren't accepted by society these days! I can't mention them on Lit per the rules.

Maybe we are putting too much emphasis on definitions instead of my motto...just do what feels right at that moment. Allow the pleasure and forget what anyone else would say.

Well, that's how we get conventions...

Unconventional doesn't mean wrong. Just means outside of societal norms. And vanilla is just shorthand for "the base layer", much as choc chip ice cream is vanilla, with added flavour.
Vanilla ice cream isn't bad. It's just the basis for pretty much all other ice cream. So the more to add into it, the more you move away from vanilla flavour.

If you had only ever eaten raspberry ripple ice cream, that wouldnt make it vanilla.

One of the big problems is vanilla is often used as a derogatory term. It shouldn't be. It should be no different to any other sexual predilection. It's just one end of the spectrum...

 

[onanismaddict]

Well, that's how we get conventions...

Unconventional doesn't mean wrong. Just means outside of societal norms. And vanilla is just shorthand for "the base layer", much as choc chip ice cream is vanilla, with added flavour.
Vanilla ice cream isn't bad. It's just the basis for pretty much all other ice cream. So the more to add into it, the more you move away from vanilla flavour.

If you had only ever eaten raspberry ripple ice cream, that wouldnt make it vanilla.

One of the big problems is vanilla is often used as a derogatory term. It shouldn't be. It should be no different to any other sexual predilection. It's just one end of the spectrum...

I really like that ice cream analogy: "If you had only eaten raspberry ripple ice cream, that wouldn't make it vanilla." Good point.
(Especially when coupled with the notion that vanilla, like 'any' other predilection, should not be used in derogatory fashion. Totally.)

But if I may steal your helpful analogy for a minute, and posit a theory... I think that if we had 'only' ever eaten raspberry ripple ice cream, then we might welcome vanilla as quite an "exotic" change. Our previous lack of exposure to it would make it doubly appealing... further highlighting your great point about conventional vs. unconventional.
I think that it's somewhat relative to our lived experience.
Although certainly, most of us sample the vanilla-side first. But from there, our journeys may diverge...

(I am tired after a long day though, so I'm not sure whether what I wrote here will even make sense to me in the morning... lol.)
All I do know is that, sex stuff aside, I could really go for some raspberry ripple ice cream right now. Sounds delicious!

 

[onanismaddict]

Surely there is somewhere on the whole internet that has an accurate definition of Vanilla/Kink lol

I have to wonder though how much of those definitions are subjective? If you naturally experienced sex one way that in your earlier years of sex felt right, natural and normal, but later you learned are defined as kink does that make your personal baseline for vanilla any different?

Also how much loyalty do we owe the textbook definitions of kink/vanilla? Are they true north stars or is there fluidity?

Too much thinking before coffee.

Pertaining to the previous post I just left... Now that I have looked back through this conversation more carefully, I can see that you already expressed something similar... (And you expressed it much better than me, too! Thank you, MrsPassion.)
Sorry that I did not do my due diligence in careful reading before composing my own post.

As you amusingly stated, "Too much thinking before coffee."
But I'm going to amend that slightly to suit my current situation: Too much 'tired' thinking before bedtime... lol. Apologies.

 

[MrsPassion]

Pertaining to the previous post I just left... Now that I have looked back through this conversation more carefully, I can see that you already expressed something similar... (And you expressed it much better than me, too! Thank you, MrsPassion.)
Sorry that I did not do my due diligence in careful reading before composing my own post.

As you amusingly stated, "Too much thinking before coffee."
But I'm going to amend that slightly to suit my current situation: Too much 'tired' thinking before bedtime... lol. Apologies.

There’s really nothing to apologize for. You’re good

 

[Saltfountain]

I read an article some time ago where research concluded that because of how the brain works, and more importantly what part of the brain controls what, has a direct impact on this particular fetish. It actually boils down to the fact that the sensory receptor sites in the cerebral cortex that respond to feet and genitals sit right next to one another. The neurotransmitters fire across the synapse and attach to receptors of the neighboring cells and voilà the feet become an object of sexual pleasure.

So why do I dislike feet so much?

 

[BadAmy]

So why do I dislike feet so much?

 

[Saltfountain]

Oh you can fuck right off cunt!

 

[BadAmy]

Oh you can fuck right off cunt!

Wait. Let me just slide on in wif mah feets

 

[hopeful_wife]

So why do I dislike feet so much?

They belong in shoes. When guests think they're being polite by kicking off shoes in my house, I'm like, "No, really, please leave them on!" I'll gladly sweep extra to avoid loose feet in my house.

 

[Lindi37]

Following on from something I posted earlier, has anyone told their Dom/me they've done something you were meant to but hadn't?

 

[jeff_is_smiling]

I'm not a Dom or Master, but I HAVE had women tell me they've cum - hard - when they were really just doing laundry and their dishes. Does that count?

 

[RosewoodTulip]

Following on from something I posted earlier, has anyone told their Dom/me they've done something you were meant to but hadn't?

No I haven't. I can't do it. If I've been asked to do something that I couldn't or didn't really want to I've said so, and then felt huge guilt that I've let him down.
I usually try my absolute hardest to do the thing though because the reward is usually amazing, but more so is the knowledge that I've pushed myself a little further

 

[Saltfountain]

No I haven't. I can't do it. If I've been asked to do something that I couldn't or didn't really want to I've said so, and then felt huge guilt that I've let him down.
I usually try my absolute hardest to do the thing though because the reward is usually amazing, but more so is the knowledge that I've pushed myself a little further

Do you find you respond better to carrot or stick?

 

[crazychemgirl]

They belong in shoes. When guests think they're being polite by kicking off shoes in my house, I'm like, "No, really, please leave them on!" I'll gladly sweep extra to avoid loose feet in my house.

Interesting… in Canada it’s all shoes off

 

[Saltfountain]

Interesting… in Canada it’s all shoes off

Must be cold in the snow...