🍆❤️‍🩹🍆 Dicknations for Sassy! Updates & Get Well Wang 🍆❤️‍🩹🍆

[talikat]

I have had a couple of phone visits with either nurses or doctors. They are going to add an anti-anxiety. My emotional state has been harder to deal with lately and I keep thinking of the bad things and I'm struggling to get my mind off of that.

I have been trying to do video visits with mental health but I'm not really a huge fan of crying on the video camera.

I had a lower abdomen ultrasound as well as this lovely little wand that goes up you and takes pictures. I won't know the results of that until probably tomorrow. But of course now my mind is wandering to.. will this be what ends up killing me? Not the cancer but whatever all these side effects are. Whatever is causing this pain. I'm crying a lot more because I'm so tired of not knowing where it's coming from and how to treat it.

My next appointments are another video visit with mental health and a regular OBGYN by the end of the month. In the meantime I'm just a stress ball.

Just know that you are loved, Sassy, we adore you!

 

[crashD]

Big hugs Sassy!!

 

[SassySheDevil]

You had your daughter’s wedding to look forward to and through pain, surgery and treatments, you were determined to enjoy the whole thing. Now that the wedding is over, you are focused on your bad thoughts.

Perfectly normal.

I don’t know what the solution is, but I’m pretty sure it has to do with finding another great distraction. Something to focus on and be determined to achieve to push through all the bad thoughts, feelings, pain and fear.

Do you have another kid that you can marry off?

Haha first one is already married.

Stay strong beautiful. Worry little less and think about all the fun things you still going to be doing. Hope the pain goes away soon princess. We're here if you ever want to vent or cry.

Thank you CC.

Sending you biggest possible online hug, Sassy

Very kind of you.

Sounds like another trip to the mountains might be in order??

Leaving for the Washington coast on the 2nd

 

[SassySheDevil]

Well. The good news is everything came back normally from my ultrasound/ "digging for gold" wand appointment

But also came back with no findings for the cause of the pain.

 

[hotwords229_A]

Well. The good news is everything came back normally from my ultrasound/ "digging for gold" wand appointment

But also came back with no findings for the cause of the pain.

I’m sure all of this has been looked into but I have to wonder if it isn’t a nerve issue.

I don’t know if nerve pain shows up on tests and I know nothing about the human body other than what cartoons have taught me, but have your doctors considered this being a damaged nerve?

 

[AngelicaS1780]

Well. The good news is everything came back normally from my ultrasound/ "digging for gold" wand appointment

But also came back with no findings for the cause of the pain.

The good news is always great, but I also know how frustrating it can be to not get any answers.

 

[ccs29745]

Well. The good news is everything came back normally from my ultrasound/ "digging for gold" wand appointment

But also came back with no findings for the cause of the pain.

for the normal results, for the not find pain cause. I hope the pain subsides and leaves you alone. I wonder if it's something healing on inside that the scans aren't showing. Big, and Sassy.

 

[hairball18]

Well. The good news is everything came back normally from my ultrasound/ "digging for gold" wand appointment

But also came back with no findings for the cause of the pain.

That must be so frustrating, not only for you, but for the medical professionals that are trying to help you.

 

[AWonkyDonkey]

Well. The good news is everything came back normally from my ultrasound/ "digging for gold" wand appointment

But also came back with no findings for the cause of the pain.

Yay and Nay!

I swear me and you are in a competition to see who is the most broken.

 

[SassySheDevil]

I’m sure all of this has been looked into but I have to wonder if it isn’t a nerve issue.

I don’t know if nerve pain shows up on tests and I know nothing about the human body other than what cartoons have taught me, but have your doctors considered this being a damaged nerve?

I have been on gabapentin for nerve pain for quite a while now. It hasn't done much for me so they're thinking about just taking it off my Med list.

for the normal results, for the not find pain cause. I hope the pain subsides and leaves you alone. I wonder if it's something healing on inside that the scans aren't showing. Big, and Sassy.

To go along with the nerve pain. One possibility is scar tissue. There might be a buildup of scar tissue that is causing this but they can't go in just to look around it won't necessarily be safe right now. We still don't know if there are cancer cells lurking around.

That must be so frustrating, not only for you, but for the medical professionals that are trying to help you.

For my palliative care team. Yes. Especially my nurse. She Advocates so hard for me and I just love her to death and she's told me that she's already cried because of how badly she wants to find my pain and at least help me get over that on some level even if it was just to improve it.

Yay and Nay!

I swear me and you are in a competition to see who is the most broken.

I think that's always one of the funny parts of a visit when you come out now. We can sit there and compare our meds.

 

[hotoldrguy]

I have been on gabapentin for nerve pain for quite a while now. It hasn't done much for me so they're thinking about just taking it off my Med list.

To go along with the nerve pain. One possibility is scar tissue. There might be a buildup of scar tissue that is causing this but they can't go in just to look around it won't necessarily be safe right now. We still don't know if there are cancer cells lurking around.

For my palliative care team. Yes. Especially my nurse. She Advocates so hard for me and I just love her to death and she's told me that she's already cried because of how badly she wants to find my pain and at least help me get over that on some level even if it was just to improve it.

I think that's always one of the funny parts of a visit when you come out now. We can sit there and compare our meds.

I am sorry they have still not found the reason for your pain

 

[SassySheDevil]

I finally found a place that does scar tissue massage. It was incredibly different than anything I've done before. She told me that my right leg is shorter than my left. And then my diaphragm is basically stuck up against my ribs.
Everything she did just kind of felt like it was helping right at that moment. Now that I'm home I feel a little bit weird. But again that was different than anything I've experienced before.
A joked that if my right leg made me 4 ft 9. Then at least that part of me was legally a dwarf. My left leg currently makes me 4 ft 11. Legally a dwarf is 4'9.

Well shit. Apparently I have not looked that up in quite a long time. It is is 4 ft 10.

@barefootgirl69 and I are both screwed if we shrink in old age.

 

[hotoldrguy]

I finally found a place that does scar tissue massage. It was incredibly different than anything I've done before. She told me that my right leg is shorter than my left. And then my diaphragm is basically stuck up against my ribs.
Everything she did just kind of felt like it was helping right at that moment. Now that I'm home I feel a little bit weird. But again that was different than anything I've experienced before.
A joked that if my right leg made me 4 ft 9. Then at least that part of me was legally a dwarf. My left leg currently makes me 4 ft 11. Legally a dwarf is 4'9.

Well shit. Apparently I have not looked that up in quite a long time. It is is 4 ft 10.

@barefootgirl69 and I are both screwed if we shrink in old age.

I am glad to hear that it was helping. I hope that the positive effect stays with you

 

[SassySheDevil]

I am glad to hear that it was helping. I hope that the positive effect stays with you

It honestly was just really nice to hear that there were problems. I've spent the last year chasing my pain. And now maybe there's a chance that massage could fix it. Or at least some of it.

 

[ccs29745]

Finally some relief sounds like. Hope the massages can do something to the tissue so it doesn't hurt you anymore.

 

[SassySheDevil]

Finally some relief sounds like. Hope the massages can do something to the tissue so it doesn't hurt you anymore.

I know that I'm a little bit crazy for being super hopeful. But after Chasing this pain for as long as I have I just want answers. And want relief. I want to have at least a couple of good days a week where I can get up and feel human.

 

[hotwords229_A]

I know that I'm a little bit crazy for being super hopeful. But after Chasing this pain for as long as I have I just want answers. And want relief. I want to have at least a couple of good days a week where I can get up and feel human.

Not crazy at all. I hope you have found the light at the end of the tunnel and this time it isn’t a train!

 

[crashD]

I finally found a place that does scar tissue massage. It was incredibly different than anything I've done before. She told me that my right leg is shorter than my left. And then my diaphragm is basically stuck up against my ribs.
Everything she did just kind of felt like it was helping right at that moment. Now that I'm home I feel a little bit weird. But again that was different than anything I've experienced before.
A joked that if my right leg made me 4 ft 9. Then at least that part of me was legally a dwarf. My left leg currently makes me 4 ft 11. Legally a dwarf is 4'9.

Well shit. Apparently I have not looked that up in quite a long time. It is is 4 ft 10.

@barefootgirl69 and I are both screwed if we shrink in old age.

Hope this continues to help !!

 

[SassySheDevil]

An update since it seems as though it has been a while. I've been struggling a lot with this lately and have gone into hiding when things feel dark.
The unknown is really taking a toll on me. We've been chasing this mystery pain for almost a year and still no answers. I went in for a colonoscopy yesterday and unfortunately, I will have to repeat is as I was apparently not totally cleaned out. They did take two polyps. I won't know the results of that for up to 10 days.
The pain has gotten worse, and they have increased my pain meds. But I tend to have to choose how I want the day to go. If I want to go anywhere. I can't take all the pain meds. If I have nothing to do. I can take all my pain meds.
MY emotional state has been all over the place because of how bad the pain has been, and how much it controls my days. I can't really plan anything because I have no idea how I'm going to feel. Tomorrow, we have tickets for the Kraken game, and I am not even sure I'll be able to go.


Every test we run. Nothing. I'm angry and overwhelmed. I can't stop thinking of death. Fighting the cancer was easy compared to this. I made it through Chemo and Radiation like a rock star. This pain has taken me out.

Even camping was hard. Wonderful, but hard. The drive was the worst.

I am now doing video therapy which is allowing me to vent to other people besides my family. They are so loving and supportive. I have such great people around me. I know how lucky I am. One of my good friends has gone on this journey with me. She had breast cancer too. Same side, same kind. Now I have a different kind of cancer, and she was diagnosed with MS. She wants me to go on this fun cruise with her next year. A bunch of the Tik Tok people will be on the cruise. But I can't plan.
The weight loss has finally started to scare me a little. I've now lost 60 pounds and am a walking twig. I haven't weighed this since high school. My son in law wants me to ask about getting a feeding tube.

I'm just broken and angry.

 

[LadyLascivious1]

An update since it seems as though it has been a while. I've been struggling a lot with this lately and have gone into hiding when things feel dark.
The unknown is really taking a toll on me. We've been chasing this mystery pain for almost a year and still no answers. I went in for a colonoscopy yesterday and unfortunately, I will have to repeat is as I was apparently not totally cleaned out. They did take two polyps. I won't know the results of that for up to 10 days.
The pain has gotten worse, and they have increased my pain meds. But I tend to have to choose how I want the day to go. If I want to go anywhere. I can't take all the pain meds. If I have nothing to do. I can take all my pain meds.
MY emotional state has been all over the place because of how bad the pain has been, and how much it controls my days. I can't really plan anything because I have no idea how I'm going to feel. Tomorrow, we have tickets for the Kraken game, and I am not even sure I'll be able to go.


Every test we run. Nothing. I'm angry and overwhelmed. I can't stop thinking of death. Fighting the cancer was easy compared to this. I made it through Chemo and Radiation like a rock star. This pain has taken me out.

Even camping was hard. Wonderful, but hard. The drive was the worst.

I am now doing video therapy which is allowing me to vent to other people besides my family. They are so loving and supportive. I have such great people around me. I know how lucky I am. One of my good friends has gone on this journey with me. She had breast cancer too. Same side, same kind. Now I have a different kind of cancer, and she was diagnosed with MS. She wants me to go on this fun cruise with her next year. A bunch of the Tik Tok people will be on the cruise. But I can't plan.
The weight loss has finally started to scare me a little. I've now lost 60 pounds and am a walking twig. I haven't weighed this since high school. My son in law wants me to ask about getting a feeding tube.

I'm just broken and angry.

Oh, Sassy. I hate that the complications and pain are so terrible for you. I’m really glad you expanded your support system though. That can only be a good thing.

I’m thinking of you and sending hugs.

 

[Anastasia1999]

Praying for you dear girl. I hope you get some answers and relief soon. God love you.

 

[hotwords229_A]

Sassy, that’s a lot to take in and I can’t imagine how hard everything is for you right now.
Depression, dark thoughts, death, sorrow, anger those are all totally normal thoughts and feelings to have going through something like this. Let them happen and then tell them to go to hell.

Book that cruise because next year you’re going to be doing much, much better and you need something to look forward to.

I have some stupid questions (shocking, right?):

Are you sure your pain isn’t being caused by one of your medications, or possibly a mixture of them?

Have you (or your family) done extensive research online about this pain—surely someone somewhere has had this same problem and may know what it turned out to be.

Obviously you’re not able to eat properly, have you talked to a dietitian and gone over what your current diet and medications are—there might be something there? Or at least, find some food that you can eat to gain some weight, satiate you and not make you sick?

Things will get better. They really will.

 

[deefalttwunnyfor]

This is heartbreaking to read. I can't imagine what you're going through, but I'm hoping you or some doctor can find a way out of that hellscape. Stay strong

 

[SassySheDevil]

Sassy, that’s a lot to take in and I can’t imagine how hard everything is for you right now.
Depression, dark thoughts, death, sorrow, anger those are all totally normal thoughts and feelings to have going through something like this. Let them happen and then tell them to go to hell.

Book that cruise because next year you’re going to be doing much, much better and you need something to look forward to.

I have some stupid questions (shocking, right?):

Are you sure your pain isn’t being caused by one of your medications, or possibly a mixture of them?

Have you (or your family) done extensive research online about this pain—surely someone somewhere has had this same problem and may know what it turned out to be.

Obviously you’re not able to eat properly, have you talked to a dietitian and gone over what your current diet and medications are—there might be something there? Or at least, find some food that you can eat to gain some weight, satiate you and not make you sick?

Things will get better. They really will.

I promise to reply soon. I'm trying to figure out if I'm going to be able to make it to the hockey game tonight. We take a light rail and monorail there. It ends up being a lot of walking.

 

[SassySheDevil]

Thank you everyone. You are the best.