🍆❤️‍🩹🍆 Dicknations for Sassy! Updates & Get Well Wang 🍆❤️‍🩹🍆

[AWonkyDonkey]

I promise to reply soon. I'm trying to figure out if I'm going to be able to make it to the hockey game tonight. We take a light rail and monorail there. It ends up being a lot of walking.

I hope you do make it. I know how much you like to watch men in pads fight.

 

[Endless_Night]

An update since it seems as though it has been a while. >

This is a tough to read. So frustrating. The video therapy sounds like a much needed place for release.

 

[LaisDeMarieDeFrance]

I'm so, so sorry Sassy! It was beyond hard to watch my Mom in constant pain, so I feel for your family too. Everyone feeling helpless together. Prayers that the doctors find what's wrong and get you some relief!

 

[ccs29745]

Sorry you're hurting sassy. You can always vent to us here, you've got a ton of friends that'll listen. I wish there was something we could do to help get rid of pain.

 

[crashD]

An update since it seems as though it has been a while. I've been struggling a lot with this lately and have gone into hiding when things feel dark.
The unknown is really taking a toll on me. We've been chasing this mystery pain for almost a year and still no answers. I went in for a colonoscopy yesterday and unfortunately, I will have to repeat is as I was apparently not totally cleaned out. They did take two polyps. I won't know the results of that for up to 10 days.
The pain has gotten worse, and they have increased my pain meds. But I tend to have to choose how I want the day to go. If I want to go anywhere. I can't take all the pain meds. If I have nothing to do. I can take all my pain meds.
MY emotional state has been all over the place because of how bad the pain has been, and how much it controls my days. I can't really plan anything because I have no idea how I'm going to feel. Tomorrow, we have tickets for the Kraken game, and I am not even sure I'll be able to go.


Every test we run. Nothing. I'm angry and overwhelmed. I can't stop thinking of death. Fighting the cancer was easy compared to this. I made it through Chemo and Radiation like a rock star. This pain has taken me out.

Even camping was hard. Wonderful, but hard. The drive was the worst.

I am now doing video therapy which is allowing me to vent to other people besides my family. They are so loving and supportive. I have such great people around me. I know how lucky I am. One of my good friends has gone on this journey with me. She had breast cancer too. Same side, same kind. Now I have a different kind of cancer, and she was diagnosed with MS. She wants me to go on this fun cruise with her next year. A bunch of the Tik Tok people will be on the cruise. But I can't plan.
The weight loss has finally started to scare me a little. I've now lost 60 pounds and am a walking twig. I haven't weighed this since high school. My son in law wants me to ask about getting a feeding tube.

I'm just broken and angry.

So sorry Sassy

 

[SassySheDevil]

Sassy, that’s a lot to take in and I can’t imagine how hard everything is for you right now.
Depression, dark thoughts, death, sorrow, anger those are all totally normal thoughts and feelings to have going through something like this. Let them happen and then tell them to go to hell.

Book that cruise because next year you’re going to be doing much, much better and you need something to look forward to.

I have some stupid questions (shocking, right?):

Are you sure your pain isn’t being caused by one of your medications, or possibly a mixture of them?

Have you (or your family) done extensive research online about this pain—surely someone somewhere has had this same problem and may know what it turned out to be.

Obviously you’re not able to eat properly, have you talked to a dietitian and gone over what your current diet and medications are—there might be something there? Or at least, find some food that you can eat to gain some weight, satiate you and not make you sick?

Things will get better. They really will.

Okay. Firstly. Thankfully I did make it to the Kraken game. They did not play well. But I didn't care. It felt nice to get out.

I will book the cruise once we hear back from the company and find out if I can do the money back thing. Is it bad that I'm afraid of one of the stops? I'd stay on the cruise ship for this one. But it does make me nervous. (Haiti)

Ask anything you like there are no stupid questions. No. I'm not sure it isn't a combo of the meds I am taking. But. I wasn't on all these when the pain started either. But in December I will have another person taking a look at my meds to see if there is something we need to change.

Extensive. No. My daughter and I have done a lot of googling though. I make a list to ask my Doctor when I see him.
I can say that doing that cleanse. The day after. I felt better than I have in a while, and this is a big part of why I think it is more GI related. I notice patterns. I'm often okay pain wise in the morning until I eat. I rarely drink coffee anymore. Regular coffee is too much. Decaf is what I go for when I do.

I have a follow up with the Nutritionist next week. I know tomorrow when I see the doctor he is going to shit twinkies when he sees my weight.

Ask anything you like.

 

[SassySheDevil]

Oh, Sassy. I hate that the complications and pain are so terrible for you. I’m really glad you expanded your support system though. That can only be a good thing.

I’m thinking of you and sending hugs.

Yes. I think it has been helping. Thank you.

Praying for you dear girl. I hope you get some answers and relief soon. God love you.

Thank you Ana.

This is heartbreaking to read. I can't imagine what you're going through, but I'm hoping you or some doctor can find a way out of that hellscape. Stay strong

Thank you for this.

I hope you do make it. I know how much you like to watch men in pads fight.

Sadly, no man fights.

This is a tough to read. So frustrating. The video therapy sounds like a much needed place for release.

Aww. Thank you EN. I was hesitant at first because I didn't really want to be on camera crying. But I guess I'd have been in person crying too.

I'm so, so sorry Sassy! It was beyond hard to watch my Mom in constant pain, so I feel for your family too. Everyone feeling helpless together. Prayers that the doctors find what's wrong and get you some relief!

Thank you (I still want to call you bambi lol) I appreciate the thoughts and prayers.

Sorry you're hurting sassy. You can always vent to us here, you've got a ton of friends that'll listen. I wish there was something we could do to help get rid of pain.

I feel so weak already. Sometimes it is just hard. But I'm trying to be more open.

So sorry Sassy

Thank you Crash.

 

[ccs29745]

Yes. I think it has been helping. Thank you.

Thank you Ana.

Thank you for this.

Sadly, no man fights.

Aww. Thank you EN. I was hesitant at first because I didn't really want to be on camera crying. But I guess I'd have been in person crying too.

Thank you (I still want to call you bambi lol) I appreciate the thoughts and prayers.

I feel so weak already. Sometimes it is just hard. But I'm trying to be more open.

Thank you Crash.

My inbox is always open, it's my schedule that make take me a bit to respond.

 

[LaisDeMarieDeFrance]

Yes. I think it has been helping. Thank you.

Thank you Ana.

Thank you for this.

Sadly, no man fights.

Aww. Thank you EN. I was hesitant at first because I didn't really want to be on camera crying. But I guess I'd have been in person crying too.

Thank you (I still want to call you bambi lol) I appreciate the thoughts and prayers.

I feel so weak already. Sometimes it is just hard. But I'm trying to be more open.

Thank you Crash.

You can call me whatever you want. lol

 

[MischiefMakerAlways]

Okay. Firstly. Thankfully I did make it to the Kraken game. They did not play well. But I didn't care. It felt nice to get out.

I will book the cruise once we hear back from the company and find out if I can do the money back thing. Is it bad that I'm afraid of one of the stops? I'd stay on the cruise ship for this one. But it does make me nervous. (Haiti)

Ask anything you like there are no stupid questions. No. I'm not sure it isn't a combo of the meds I am taking. But. I wasn't on all these when the pain started either. But in December I will have another person taking a look at my meds to see if there is something we need to change.

Extensive. No. My daughter and I have done a lot of googling though. I make a list to ask my Doctor when I see him.
I can say that doing that cleanse. The day after. I felt better than I have in a while, and this is a big part of why I think it is more GI related. I notice patterns. I'm often okay pain wise in the morning until I eat. I rarely drink coffee anymore. Regular coffee is too much. Decaf is what I go for when I do.

I have a follow up with the Nutritionist next week. I know tomorrow when I see the doctor he is going to shit twinkies when he sees my weight.

Ask anything you like.

Have you asked about EOE?

 

[SassySheDevil]

Have you asked about EOE?

I have not. I doubt really experience much of what's going on there. But I'll see my doctor tomorrow. I can't help but wonder if it has to do with my intestine being kinked. I only half half of what i did before. Maybe that's why the cleanse make me feel better, but also that I wasn't able to fully cleanse.
So many questions. So little time.

 

[StillRain]

Sassy, I’m so sorry to hear your pain is so hideous and continues on.

Are you able to have medical marijuana? I’ve no idea if it would even take an edge off but things sound pretty miserable for you.

How brutal, we spend half our lives worrying about our weight, and now we’re worrying about your weight for a very different reason.

Hang in there, kiddo. You’re a force.

 

[SassySheDevil]

I shall return tomorrow with a fresh charge for updates. We lost power yesterday and I'm charging when I get the chance. I also have a phone call tomorrow with my palliative care Dr tomorrow.
I did get to see my Dr yesterday though. Nice to catch up with him. He currently wants me to focus on the weight gain. He wants me above 100#'s again.
He said even if that's purly drinking 4-5 protein shakes a day.

 

[barefootgirl69]

Be safe up there in that weather. I hope your power gets restored quickly!

 

[MischiefMakerAlways]

I shall return tomorrow with a fresh charge for updates. We lost power yesterday and I'm charging when I get the chance. I also have a phone call tomorrow with my palliative care Dr tomorrow.
I did get to see my Dr yesterday though. Nice to catch up with him. He currently wants me to focus on the weight gain. He wants me above 100#'s again.
He said even if that's purly drinking 4-5 protein shakes a day.

Drink all the milkshakes

 

[SassySheDevil]

Be safe up there in that weather. I hope your power gets restored quickly!

Thank you. We thankfully didn't get hit like many. But 1 town over got pretty wrecked.

 

[SassySheDevil]

Drink all the milkshakes

My daughter is having a blast coming up with concoctions.

 

[SassySheDevil]

Okay. So yet another update. I went to the doctor on tuesday. This is my oncologist. Basically a follow-up because I haven't seen him in a while. He went over some of my tests which I obviously knew because they were in my medical chart. But they believe that the swelling that I have going on. Both from my colonoscopy and my gynecology appointment. Is I forget the term he called it but basically inflamation due to radiation.

As I mentioned above. He is more concerned with my weight loss. He said that the more weight that I lose the weaker I will get and right now I need to work on keeping my strengths up so I can continue to fight this. So he's giving me an order to try and fulfill whatever I'm not eating with protein shakes. He said right now he'll be happy with even 5 lb. But he definitely wants me above 100 lb.

I still have to schedule an outpatient surgery with the gynecologist. And then I have to reschedule the colonoscopy but my doctor said that can wait until after the holidays if I want.

He kind of let me down a little bit by saying that eventually we may have to come up with the conclusion that there aren't really any answers and I may have to adjust my lifestyle. I'm hoping that I haven't reached that point where he's giving up because of no answers. I talk to my palliative care doctor today. I will talk with her. She always lifts my spirits. I do not want to live my life with this kind of pain.

He did say that it wouldn't be because my intestines had gotten pinched or anything like that because they free float in there and it would be almost impossible to get pinched. Now that doesn't mean that there isn't some kind of blockage. Which is why he wants me to try some of the liquids for a while. To see if supplementing with the liquids actually helps me feel better or not. But it is definitely weird trying to get four protein shakes down me. I only got two down me yesterday because my daughter turns them into what she calls her potions. She likes to add different things to the shakes and I got to admit as much as I fought it. I kind of like the kale.

We went shopping for things to put in the shakes and she was having way too much fun with that. It's kind of cute how excited she gets to make these shakes.

We are still without power. Thankful for a generator. But they have no longer been able to assess when we will get our power back. The county next to mine is saying that there's a possibility it won't be until saturday. My County gave up giving predictions

 

[MischiefMakerAlways]

Okay. So yet another update. I went to the doctor on tuesday. This is my oncologist. Basically a follow-up because I haven't seen him in a while. He went over some of my tests which I obviously knew because they were in my medical chart. But they believe that the swelling that I have going on. Both from my colonoscopy and my gynecology appointment. Is I forget the term he called it but basically inflamation due to radiation.

As I mentioned above. He is more concerned with my weight loss. He said that the more weight that I lose the weaker I will get and right now I need to work on keeping my strengths up so I can continue to fight this. So he's giving me an order to try and fulfill whatever I'm not eating with protein shakes. He said right now he'll be happy with even 5 lb. But he definitely wants me above 100 lb.

I still have to schedule an outpatient surgery with the gynecologist. And then I have to reschedule the colonoscopy but my doctor said that can wait until after the holidays if I want.

You kind of let me down a little bit by saying that eventually we may have to come up with the conclusion that there aren't really any answers and I may have to adjust my lifestyle. I'm hoping that I haven't reached that point where he's giving up because of no answers. I talk to my palliative care doctor today. I will talk with her. She always lifts my spirits. I do not want to live my life with this kind of pain.

He did say that it wouldn't be because my intestines had gotten pinched or anything like that because they free float in there and it would be almost impossible to get pinched. Now that doesn't mean that there isn't some kind of blockage. Which is why he wants me to try some of the liquids for a while. To see if supplementing with the liquids actually helps me feel better or not. But it is definitely weird trying to get four protein shakes down me. I only got two down me yesterday because my daughter turns them into what she calls her potions. She likes to add different things to the shakes and I got to admit as much as I fought it. I kind of like the kale.

We went shopping for things to put in the shakes and she was having way too much fun with that. It's kind of cute how excited she gets to make these shakes.

We are still without power. Thankful for a generator. But they have no longer been able to assess when we will get our power back. The county next to mine is saying that there's a possibility it won't be until saturday. My County gave up giving predictions

Hang in there you mighty midget. Don't give up hope, you're too damn stubborn for that.

 

[SassySheDevil]

Sassy, I’m so sorry to hear your pain is so hideous and continues on.

Are you able to have medical marijuana? I’ve no idea if it would even take an edge off but things sound pretty miserable for you.

How brutal, we spend half our lives worrying about our weight, and now we’re worrying about your weight for a very different reason.

Hang in there, kiddo. You’re a force.

In my state Marijuana is legal. So I don't need a medical license. But yes I have tried quite a few different options. I found a really good one when we went down to the coast a couple weeks ago and unfortunately it's not at my local pot shops. But it does work really well so I'm savoring it and using it when I really need it.

I know. Right? When I first met my husband I was 96 lb. Granted I was 16. But haven't gotten down to almost that number preparing for my colonoscopy doesn't look quite the same as it did when I was in high school. I can honestly admit that now anything below 100 lb doesn't look good on me. I have so much sagging skin and my legs are super tiny and you can see like all my bones and my hunch from all those years of carrying around big boobs. So as much as I like seeing the number on the scale. I definitely want to get back up to probably around 115 or 120 at least.

Thank you very much RS. I really appreciate your support. It means a lot to me.

 

[SassySheDevil]

Hang in there you mighty midget. Don't give up hope, you're too damn stubborn for that.

Me. Stubborn? Hah! Thank you.

 

[Deprived_in_AZ]

Damn it, why can't they find the cause and get rid of this pain. Meanwhile, the marijuana sounds like a good idea.. anything that makes you feel a little better. Greatest respect to you for fighting on, and to your family as well for supporting you so lovingly. Shakespeare comes to mind: "Though she be but little she is fierce." You're not done fighting yet. Cancer may think it's got you beat, but hell no. FYC.
Also very glad to hear that you guys have come through the storm ok.

 

[SassySheDevil]

Damn it, why can't they find the cause and get rid of this pain. Meanwhile, the marijuana sounds like a good idea.. anything that makes you feel a little better. Greatest respect to you for fighting on, and to your family as well for supporting you so lovingly. Shakespeare comes to mind: "Though she be but little she is fierce." You're not done fighting yet. Cancer may think it's got you beat, but hell no. FYC.
Also very glad to hear that you guys have come through the storm ok.

Thank you Dee. Always good to see you.

Nope. I'm not done fighting yet. I still have plenty of fight. Some days can just be harder than others.

Thank you. We only managed to get a barn roof that'll need some repairs. The goats didn't fly away thankfully.

 

[TunnelKing089]

Hello @SassySheDevil Hope you are doing well,still in my thoughts.

 

[SassySheDevil]

Hello @SassySheDevil Hope you are doing well,still in my thoughts.

Thank you.