A question for hotwife couples

[jimmyturtleman]

My answer also.
When my wife finally agreed to take a lover I made her an absolute promise that I would not go with other women. I have kept that promise and love being her faithful cuck.

I have never been allowed to watch, but she does give me a play by play, blow by blow, account of what happens. And I do not want, or need another woman.

 

[SlutAddicted]

We started with an open relationship (after she cheated). Now we are a hotwife/cuckold couple and it is easy for me to grasp why that makes the most sense.

What became clear early on is that equal opportunity to seek other sexual partners would not mean anything approaching equal outcomes. My wife had no trouble finding an abundance of men who were prepared to be with her on her terms. Meanwhile I had a harder time finding women willing to date a married man where there was no prospect of growing beyond a casual relationship. And the ones that I did meet paled in comparison to my very sexy and now liberated wife.

One particular evening was a turning point. We both had dates, but mine cancelled. I decided that I was happy to stay home and watch the hockey game and wished my wife a good time on her date. Frankly, knowing she would be enjoying herself allowed me to enjoy the game guilt free - not that she is the type to make me feel guilty, but she doesn't care to watch and I would otherwise have felt like maybe I should be doing something with her. Knowing I would be home she made a point of being home in time for us to have some fun. The fact that she had just had sex with her date did not in any way take away from the fun sex that we had together. And for me to both enjoy the game and my wife was far preferable to the date I had scheduled.

My wife was more than happy to make the accommodation of ending her date early enough to come home to me. But if she didn't know I would be there she would not have done so - or at least she would not have been so conscious and deliberate about it. And I would not expect her to adjust her date on the fly based upon whether I got home by a specific time or not. It really only works because she knew well ahead of time and could build that into her schedule. For instance, when she goes out to dinner with a date she will often linger a long time and maybe stop somewhere for a cocktail then end up back at his place by midnight. She may come home after sex (my wife almost always puts out unless the guy is a jerk) or she may stay the night. So, if she is going to be home to me by midnight she needs to know at the beginning of the evening that I am going to be there so she can move her date along a little faster - it would not be cool for me to text her at 11:30 and say my date has wrapped up and could she come home now.

I think that up until that time there was some part of me that sort of wanted to "keep up" or take advantage of the sexual latitude I was afforded in our open marriage. And I think that is natural. But on that evening I realized that isn't really what I wanted. Meanwhile it made no sense to constrain my wife just because dating wasn't working out as well for me as it was for her. For her having a date, fucking him then coming home and fucking me is what she wanted. And what I wanted was to watch the hockey game in peace then fuck my wife. Once I let go of any notion of "keeping up" I could see that we both got what we wanted

After that night we made a deal that if I stopped seeing other women and focused my attention on her that she would make an extra special effort to attend to my sexual needs and desires. I would be her cuckold - yes she got a thrill out of putting me in that place, but I was happy to be in that place. She has a unique ability to make a man forget about any other woman. In time that grew into our full embrace of the hotwife/cuckold and FLR lifestyles including indulging many of the fetish aspects of the lifestyle. That was not a pre-requisite or inevitable outcome. It is just the direction we grew.

 

[Beachsyrf]

My longterm girlfriend recently made it very clear to me that she is well aware of my fantasy that she have sex with other men and, frankly, quite tired of my talking about it and urging her to do it.

It seems my bringing it up during sex is having the opposite of the intended effect. It was a difficult thing to hear (once I finally understood) and accept; that what I thought was exciting and stimulating was a real turn-off for her.

I have stopped with all the sharing & experimenting pillow talk per her stated wishes .... but I still find the thought of it to be very stimulating .....

 

[CEOescape]

Although I'd be excited as hell for her to meet a single guy it never came to that, I was always with their wife. To me I looked at it as a means for her to fuck someone else. I had little interest in what I did with their wife it was always about how much fun mine had. Sex is supposed to feel good, and it was but there never any?? spark? connection?? with the few other wives. The other men got the better part of the deal.

In the beginning she asked why I wanted to do this expecting I'd say yes, I wanted another woman. It didn't take long before she realized I had this kink of her being with someone else and didn't get off on what I did with them.

I am the same way with my wife..Seeing her finally relax and enjoy another man all be it a very good friend that care for her a lot...she orgasmed crying from guilt but soon was even more excited when heguided her to fuck him riding him and sucking me off..

 

[Sgts19]

I am the same way with my wife..Seeing her finally relax and enjoy another man all be it a very good friend that care for her a lot...she orgasmed crying from guilt but soon was even more excited when heguided her to fuck him riding him and sucking me off..

The more excited she'd get the more into fucking someone different the hornier I was. She always reacted in a different way when she was having sex with someone different.

 

[CEOescape]

The more excited she'd get the more into fucking someone different the hornier I was. She always reacted in a different way when she was having sex with someone different.

The most arousing for me is seeing her do or have done to her with a whole different attitude. Example we went to dinner with her chiropractor at the table, they got behind her, gave her a neck and shoulder massage exposing her breasts in the process the called his son to meet us at his house to have a mfm . Lynn told me to go home and she would see me in the morning.
The song drove home. You fucked her in our bed until about noon.

 

[dingdongditchding]

The more excited she'd get the more into fucking someone different the hornier I was. She always reacted in a different way when she was having sex with someone different.

I would always reclaim my hotwife or hot gf if had one or the other. This includes licking and cleaning any cum off of her, esp from her vagina.

 

[DoodyMonster]

I tried turning my wife into a hotwife. She warned, “Be careful what you wish for, I can get fucked whenever I want.”

What a loaded statement!!! I love it.
So, you tried turning your wife into a hotwife.......how did you try and did you succeed or were you careful about what you wished for?

And your wife was so correct in saying "I can get fucked whenever I want." Because the reality is that most women can get fucked pretty easily if thats what they want.

 

[bondandmoneypenny]

What a loaded statement!!! I love it.
So, you tried turning your wife into a hotwife.......how did you try and did you succeed or were you careful about what you wished for?

And your wife was so correct in saying "I can get fucked whenever I want." Because the reality is that most women can get fucked pretty easily if thats what they want.

Yes. Yes, we can.

MP

 

[DoodyMonster]

Yes. Yes, we can.

MP

Yeah. And don't I know it

 

[Bayzapper10]

I hate the term Hotwife as it implies that a woman must be hyper sexual if she has occasional sex outside of her marriage. I think the opposite may be closer to the truth.

I believe that in many marriages the woman's libido declines more quickly than the mans, and perhaps disappears entirely with the arrival of menopause. I think some husbands encourage their wife to have occasional sex with other men as a catalyst to reinvigorate her overall interest in physical intimacy. It's like the sexual equivalent of jostling the logs of a fire that has nearly gone cold. And of course his expectation is that when her libido increases, her sexual interest in him will increase as well.

This would also explain why some husbands are fine giving their wife this latitude, even if she is unwilling to reciprocate. Put simply, she needs outside sex to restore her diminished libido whereas he may not.

Maybe, I don’t think the studies have been done, seems true anecdotally; far more men are on apps. and even here on the forum looking for sex. But not always the case. Again, anecdotal, but my wife’s libido went from a 3-4 To an 11 at age 47. We have moved into the Hot wife style of playing together and it’s been great.

 

[bondandmoneypenny]

Maybe, I don’t think the studies have been done, seems true anecdotally; far more men are on apps. and even here on the forum looking for sex. But not always the case. Again, anecdotal, but my wife’s libido went from a 3-4 To an 11 at age 47. We have moved into the Hot wife style of playing together and it’s been great.

It was 50 for me and it hasn't slowed down yet!

MP

 

[Burlx]

I can´t speak for the guys whose wives go on dates while they stay home as that has never been our thing. We have however visited swinger clubs from time to time and although there were a few experiences with couples we both preferred situations in which my wife was the only woman and center of attention. It is just one of those things, once tried, for some nothing else compares.

 

[Biggirls]

So I read on lit couples or guys that talk about having a hotwife lifestyle or fantasizing about wanting a hotwife lifestyle and the thing I read over and over again is " You want this so you can be with other women "
Next comment to almost 100% is the guys denying they want that.
Really????
Just this past weekend we were out together and she had on an ankle bracelet and I made the comment that I see you have your hotwife ankle bracelet on. It was a joke as she doesn't look at ankle bracelets that way.
Anyway back to the subject and question I need answered.
Why is that the first question out of so many wives mouths? " You looking to be eith other women?" And the husband immediately falling over and saying no.
I don't see myself not seeing others if she is and honestly I am ok if she does. We have talked about it with both sexes.
To me a hotwife doesn't just mean being with other men it could be women too.
Please share why so many guys feel they would just sit back and not look for a playmate also.

I am a hotwife and love the lifestyle

 

[Diann_Mom]

I am a hotwife and love the lifestyle

Welcome to Lit forums!

 

[docoral]

I hate the term Hotwife as it implies that a woman must be hyper sexual if she has occasional sex outside of her marriage. I think the opposite may be closer to the truth.

Like you... I hate the description 'HOT WIFE'. Maybe it's just me, but Husbands that allow their wives to go on dates is counterproductive and a sure destructive influence on a marriage. My opinion.

I believe that in many marriages the woman's libido declines more quickly than the mans, and perhaps disappears entirely with the arrival of menopause. I think some husbands encourage their wife to have occasional sex with other men as a catalyst to reinvigorate her overall interest in physical intimacy. It's like the sexual equivalent of jostling the logs of a fire that has nearly gone cold. And of course his expectation is that when her libido increases, her sexual interest in him will increase as well.

Whether the wife's libido is on the decrease sharing can also be a way to satisfy a wife's curiosity or satisfy a higher libido than the husband. I totally agree with the above underlined. I shared my wife, but it wasn't till we both absolutely understood our reasons for a lifestyle change. In my case I did not want to deny my wife the opportunity to enjoy pure raw sexual pleasure to a level I couldn't match. Their sexual escapades were always done and enjoyed in the safety of our home, no dates and no behind my back. Having the ideal partner helped. It also strengthened our marriage.

This would also explain why some husbands are fine giving their wife this latitude, even if she is unwilling to reciprocate. Put simply, she needs outside sex to restore her diminished libido whereas he may not.

In our case my wife always put me first and she was more than I could handle. lol

 

[RDNTDGR]

I found my wife cheated on me. I was shocked, devastated and then it turned me on. That f***** me up with intense arousal. We tried swinging, but I wasn't interested in shallow relationships with other women. We played the hot wife game and she came alive. I got off on her new feral nature. She told me who she wanted to f***. I told her who to pursue and go f***. She loved being told what to do. I watched her flirt and pick up men. I got my share of kitty when the game involved couples or two chicas. But we really loved the game of picking-up a BF for her.

 

[HotWifeOC]

I am a hotwife and love the lifestyle

I bet your hot

 

[Whispor]

We started with an open relationship (after she cheated). Now we are a hotwife/cuckold couple and it is easy for me to grasp why that makes the most sense.

What became clear early on is that equal opportunity to seek other sexual partners would not mean anything approaching equal outcomes. My wife had no trouble finding an abundance of men who were prepared to be with her on her terms. Meanwhile I had a harder time finding women willing to date a married man where there was no prospect of growing beyond a casual relationship. And the ones that I did meet paled in comparison to my very sexy and now liberated wife.

One particular evening was a turning point. We both had dates, but mine cancelled. I decided that I was happy to stay home and watch the hockey game and wished my wife a good time on her date. Frankly, knowing she would be enjoying herself allowed me to enjoy the game guilt free - not that she is the type to make me feel guilty, but she doesn't care to watch and I would otherwise have felt like maybe I should be doing something with her. Knowing I would be home she made a point of being home in time for us to have some fun. The fact that she had just had sex with her date did not in any way take away from the fun sex that we had together. And for me to both enjoy the game and my wife was far preferable to the date I had scheduled.

My wife was more than happy to make the accommodation of ending her date early enough to come home to me. But if she didn't know I would be there she would not have done so - or at least she would not have been so conscious and deliberate about it. And I would not expect her to adjust her date on the fly based upon whether I got home by a specific time or not. It really only works because she knew well ahead of time and could build that into her schedule. For instance, when she goes out to dinner with a date she will often linger a long time and maybe stop somewhere for a cocktail then end up back at his place by midnight. She may come home after sex (my wife almost always puts out unless the guy is a jerk) or she may stay the night. So, if she is going to be home to me by midnight she needs to know at the beginning of the evening that I am going to be there so she can move her date along a little faster - it would not be cool for me to text her at 11:30 and say my date has wrapped up and could she come home now.

I think that up until that time there was some part of me that sort of wanted to "keep up" or take advantage of the sexual latitude I was afforded in our open marriage. And I think that is natural. But on that evening I realized that isn't really what I wanted. Meanwhile it made no sense to constrain my wife just because dating wasn't working out as well for me as it was for her. For her having a date, fucking him then coming home and fucking me is what she wanted. And what I wanted was to watch the hockey game in peace then fuck my wife. Once I let go of any notion of "keeping up" I could see that we both got what we wanted

After that night we made a deal that if I stopped seeing other women and focused my attention on her that she would make an extra special effort to attend to my sexual needs and desires. I would be her cuckold - yes she got a thrill out of putting me in that place, but I was happy to be in that place. She has a unique ability to make a man forget about any other woman. In time that grew into our full embrace of the hotwife/cuckold and FLR lifestyles including indulging many of the fetish aspects of the lifestyle. That was not a pre-requisite or inevitable outcome. It is just the direction we grew.

I love this! Reclaim sex is such a hot concept to me. I'd go down on my wife and lick her clean of my "rival's" seed before trying to replace it with my own, knowing that her lover was much larger and deposited his cum deeper inside of her than I ever could.

Do you have any desire to watch her with her lovers, or have you, or is she against that? I want to watch her, hear her, and be part of the experience. I'm not sure i would like her to fuck another man without me being present...

Not that she would, even to fulfill my fantasy of her doing it.

 

[SlutAddicted]

I love this! Reclaim sex is such a hot concept to me. I'd go down on my wife and lick her clean of my "rival's" seed before trying to replace it with my own, knowing that her lover was much larger and deposited his cum deeper inside of her than I ever could.

Do you have any desire to watch her with her lovers, or have you, or is she against that? I want to watch her, hear her, and be part of the experience. I'm not sure i would like her to fuck another man without me being present...

Not that she would, even to fulfill my fantasy of her doing it.

Sometimes she lets me watch, but that is entirely at her discretion. She isn't against it, but it is fairly clear that when I do get to watch it is a favour to me as opposed to something she really wants.

 

[m_and_em_stories]

I think a lot of it comes down to a combination of your kinks and the balance in terms of sex drive in your relationships.

Some people get a large libido kick by having new partners and experiences. A partner that has a lower drive than the other who's sex drive is responsive to exploration with other can leverage this to improve her sex life with their partner (as many have pointed out in their own stories). Since the other partner has a higher libido already and is getting more of what they want in the relationship, there is no personal need for them to also find alternate lovers.

The high libido partner having other lovers can also reduce the feeling of safety and security for the 'hotwife' role. The innate openness and lack of jealousy required to support a partner 'stepping out' is rare let alone found in both partners (and when it is, they swing) so it can counteract the end goal of more sex because safety is required for a lot of people of both sexes to get turned on (and sometimes the opposite is required. People are different). This takes a baseline lack of jealousy and possessiveness that the majority of people and social conditioning doesn't teach, so outside specific kinks it seems to be rare but definitely happens.

Another thing that feeds into it is mens desire to see their wives as carnal, sexy, slutty etc... creatures. A woman showing sexual aggressiveness, forwardness and directness is highly criticized yet frankly its what many men want (almost all I've talked to about it). In today's societies, young men are told to get a respectable partner, that strong baseline pressure to find someone that meets some puritanical standard, but meeting that standard while being able to actually meet the real sexual desires and needs that that young man has and will have (and likely himself doesn't understand) is not as common as there are men who want it (a lady in the streets but a freak in the bed to quote luda). Having a partner fulfill this role meets a need that they ignored when they picked a partner due to social pressure.

Then there is the intersection with kinks. Humiliation, control, betrayal, submission, shame. Look how many stories inevitably point out something about the other lovers size, skill etc. The language around the hotwife and cuckold fantasy is very often tied into those kinks and I think the ideas of your closest emotional connection being the one to humiliate, shame or betray you, or to control you/be submissive to is inevitably going to come up for the strength it can tie into the feelings for those kinks.

Personally I'd love to share and watch my wife with both sexes, but I'd also like to explore other partners of both sexes. I probably want to watch her with others more than I want to pursue others, but in both cases I want everything to be done together, even if my or her role is just passive/watching. I have zero interest in humiliation, shame, or anything outside of just enjoying everyone experiencing pleasure in various positive ways. That puts me into the swinging camp but I enjoy some hotwife/cuck stories for the forwardness of the woman.

 

[LittleGreene]

I think a lot of it comes down to a combination of your kinks and the balance in terms of sex drive in your relationships.

Some people get a large libido kick by having new partners and experiences. A partner that has a lower drive than the other who's sex drive is responsive to exploration with other can leverage this to improve her sex life with their partner (as many have pointed out in their own stories). Since the other partner has a higher libido already and is getting more of what they want in the relationship, there is no personal need for them to also find alternate lovers.

The high libido partner having other lovers can also reduce the feeling of safety and security for the 'hotwife' role. The innate openness and lack of jealousy required to support a partner 'stepping out' is rare let alone found in both partners (and when it is, they swing) so it can counteract the end goal of more sex because safety is required for a lot of people of both sexes to get turned on (and sometimes the opposite is required. People are different). This takes a baseline lack of jealousy and possessiveness that the majority of people and social conditioning doesn't teach, so outside specific kinks it seems to be rare but definitely happens.

Another thing that feeds into it is mens desire to see their wives as carnal, sexy, slutty etc... creatures. A woman showing sexual aggressiveness, forwardness and directness is highly criticized yet frankly its what many men want (almost all I've talked to about it). In today's societies, young men are told to get a respectable partner, that strong baseline pressure to find someone that meets some puritanical standard, but meeting that standard while being able to actually meet the real sexual desires and needs that that young man has and will have (and likely himself doesn't understand) is not as common as there are men who want it (a lady in the streets but a freak in the bed to quote luda). Having a partner fulfill this role meets a need that they ignored when they picked a partner due to social pressure.

Then there is the intersection with kinks. Humiliation, control, betrayal, submission, shame. Look how many stories inevitably point out something about the other lovers size, skill etc. The language around the hotwife and cuckold fantasy is very often tied into those kinks and I think the ideas of your closest emotional connection being the one to humiliate, shame or betray you, or to control you/be submissive to is inevitably going to come up for the strength it can tie into the feelings for those kinks.

Personally I'd love to share and watch my wife with both sexes, but I'd also like to explore other partners of both sexes. I probably want to watch her with others more than I want to pursue others, but in both cases I want everything to be done together, even if my or her role is just passive/watching. I have zero interest in humiliation, shame, or anything outside of just enjoying everyone experiencing pleasure in various positive ways. That puts me into the swinging camp but I enjoy some hotwife/cuck stories for the forwardness of the woman.

My husband and I are in the ‘swingers’ camp as well but he has very much indicated that at some point he’d like me to explore on my own in a ‘hotwife’ situation, either with him there or me solo.
For me that feels like a big step. I’m not discounting it for our future but we have a lot still to learn and explore as a couple with other couples .

 

[OralAllOver]

So I read on lit couples or guys that talk about having a hotwife lifestyle or fantasizing about wanting a hotwife lifestyle and the thing I read over and over again is " You want this so you can be with other women "
Next comment to almost 100% is the guys denying they want that.
Really????
Just this past weekend we were out together and she had on an ankle bracelet and I made the comment that I see you have your hotwife ankle bracelet on. It was a joke as she doesn't look at ankle bracelets that way.
Anyway back to the subject and question I need answered.
Why is that the first question out of so many wives mouths? " You looking to be eith other women?" And the husband immediately falling over and saying no.
I don't see myself not seeing others if she is and honestly I am ok if she does. We have talked about it with both sexes.
To me a hotwife doesn't just mean being with other men it could be women too.
Please share why so many guys feel they would just sit back and not look for a playmate also.

You don't have a submissive mindset. Not sure how to give u a glimpse. Imagine, maybe, that as u lick another man's cum out of her, she has huge orgasm. Then u do too.
Same thing on smaller scale 100 times a day

 

[luckyseven]

I have never been with anyone other than my wife, and she knows that. She also knows that I enjoy hearing her stories of sex with others from before we married and after I gave her permission during our marriage. It worked fine with us. She decided to stop having sex with others when she turned 40, although she still got offers.

I assume you were both very flattered that men wanted to have sex with her - my wife loves it and is often tempted!

 

[gtnlynn]

I assume you were both very flattered that men wanted to have sex with her - my wife loves it and is often tempted!

Yes, she liked to be desired, and I was proud to have someone who other men lusted for.