Abusive relationships

[Debbie]

There has been a pattern with me for a few years now with dominant men. I didn't realize it at first, but most of these relationships have been abusive. Being taken advantage of has been a strong theme in my life. I have mistaken ownership and fascination over me for love many times. Only recently with a counselor have I been able to see this as true. Does anyone else feel the same or have experienced this in relationships? Thank you.

I was in an abusive relationship and he wasn't dominating he was just a mean man who thought he owned me like property and could dish out physical punishment whenever he wanted to any reason or no reason at all.

My best advice would be not to get involved with anyone seriously at this point and work on getting yourself into a better space so you dont keep repeating the same pattern. Spend time doing good stuff for you - perhaps go do things that makes you feel happy, fulfilled, confident etc.

Keep going to the counselor if it helps. I went to meetings with other people who had been in abusive relationships and used that time to talk things through and work through my emotional baggage and get/give support to people who had been through what I had experienced. It is confronting and uncomfortable but if it works and there is personal growth it is worth it.

Good luck

 

[PoppingTom]

10+1,9+2,8+3, 7+4, 6+5

This equals eleven, but it ISN'T the eleven, dumbass.

 

[smoothg103rd]

This equals eleven, but it ISN'T the eleven, dumbass.

Wtf is the eleven? I gave you many 11's.

 

[PoppingTom]

Wtf is the eleven? I gave you many 11's.

You can't answer such a simple question like "what's the eleven" right, but you want to tell me what to do?

Why don't you get the fuck out of a thread you can't participate anything but dumb jingles?

 

[smoothg103rd]

You can't answer such a simple question like "what's the eleven" right, but you want to tell me what to do?

Why don't you get the fuck out of a thread you can't participate anything but dumb jingles?

Brah,go the fuck head with that foreign bullshit.

 

[PoppingTom]

Brah,go the fuck head with that foreign bullshit.

You come close to the answer.

 

[smoothg103rd]

You come close to the answer.

It's probably a lot of people here that I am not smarter than. But you're not one of them.

 

[PoppingTom]

It's probably a lot of people here that I am not smarter than. But you're not one of them.

Yeah, closer, but not close enough to the answer.

 

[smoothg103rd]

Yeah, closer, but not close enough to the answer.

I don't give two fucks about that answer.

 

[slutindianwife]

no not been in such

 

[NOIRTRASH]

In my humble and professional opinion almost all of us remain the same till we out grow shit. Therapy, done right, is a matter of getting people to demand better abusive relationships.

 

[PoppingTom]

In my humble and professional opinion almost all of us remain the same till we out grow shit. Therapy, done right, is a matter of getting people to demand better abusive relationships.

Have you been in an abusive relationship?

I mean S/M relationships aren't necessarily abusive, most of them are anything but this. But the best relationships so far are those where the roles, but also the responsibilities between partners are allocated.

 

[parodyluvr75]

I'm not paying for a therapist and not once did I ask for advice.

If you have trouble telling the difference between love and obsession, you might need advice.

Love comes from a place of mutual respect, trust and caring. How wild they are in bed doesn't change this need for a foundation.

If a relationship makes you feel bad, it's not a good relationship.

 

[NOIRTRASH]

Have you been in an abusive relationship?

I mean S/M relationships aren't necessarily abusive, most of them are anything but this. But the best relationships so far are those where the roles, but also the responsibilities between partners are allocated.

Me.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T3jYcDbcpUs

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rog0Q3-vpyg

Pay attention to what Fritz says about us.

 

[lovetoread]

A Dom does not need to tell you that he/she is one.

You should be able to tell when interacting with one.

Being submissive does not equate being abused, but if you find a faker who thinks they can call themselves a Dom and that it means they can do whatever they want, then run for the hills.

It sounds more like you need help finding out what a real Dom is and staying away from the others.

Unless you are reading 50 Shades and using it as a guideline, then I cant give you much help as thats beyond stupid.

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[NOIRTRASH]

If you have trouble telling the difference between love and obsession, you might need advice.

Love comes from a place of mutual respect, trust and caring. How wild they are in bed doesn't change this need for a foundation.

If a relationship makes you feel bad, it's not a good relationship.

Actually love is a process our crazy fuggin imaginations define.

 

[parodyluvr75]

That's true, for people incapable of it.

 

[Aella_]

A Dom does not need to tell you that he/she is one.
You should be able to tell when interacting with one.
Being submissive does not equate being abused, but if you find a faker who thinks they can call themselves a Dom and that it means they can do whatever they want, then run for the hills.

You're a submissive? Then how come you keep chasing me with your broom ?

 

[PoppingTom]

You're a submissive? Then how come you keep chasing me with your broom ?

Because her master told her.

 

[jezzilee]

Abusive relationships are torture but can be very hard to get out from under. There is a pattern of behavior that a person seems to follow until they recognize it for what it is and change themselves.

If you are in a relationship and have any doubts about it look at it more objectively. Try to see it from an outsiders point of view...ask yourself, "If this was my friend, what advice would I give them?" If the answer to that question is get the heck out of the relationship, shouldn't that be the same advice you give yourself? IF you think your friend deserves better, don't you as well?

 

[NOIRTRASH]

Abusive relationships are torture but can be very hard to get out from under. There is a pattern of behavior that a person seems to follow until they recognize it for what it is and change themselves.

If you are in a relationship and have any doubts about it look at it more objectively. Try to see it from an outsiders point of view...ask yourself, "If this was my friend, what advice would I give them?" If the answer to that question is get the heck out of the relationship, shouldn't that be the same advice you give yourself? IF you think your friend deserves better, don't you as well?

Watch the Fritz Perls vid again. He talks about top dogs and under dogs.

 

[MaryanneB]

There has been a pattern with me for a few years now with dominant men. I didn't realize it at first, but most of these relationships have been abusive. Being taken advantage of has been a strong theme in my life. I have mistaken ownership and fascination over me for love many times. Only recently with a counselor have I been able to see this as true. Does anyone else feel the same or have experienced this in relationships? Thank you.

Do you yet realize that by posting this on the General Board you are just proving your statement that
you keep making the same choices time after time?

 

[Hard_Rom]

Find a nice boy and "teach" him to be dominant. Not force him or dominate him. Take your time. If it's really worth it, it is worth waiting for or working for.

If a man raises a hand in anger and violence to you. Wait until he is asleep and cut his cock off! He won't do it again.

 

[1sickbastard]

Well relax for a while. You're 22 and from "out of town". I fear everyone you meet is going to be a tool.

Worse, she's going to school in Dallas.
Not that there aren't decent, non-abusive men in Dallas, just that it's rare that their wives are going to be okay with having another woman in the mix.