Advice for having an affair.

[33James33]

Recently in a conversation with a friend we joked about the ground rules for having an affair. I wondered if any of you had experience in things such as: 1. Never meet in a home, or 2. Never have an affair with a co-worker. What other advice would you offer?

 

[Iceprincess12]

Seedy motel rooms, truck stop bathrooms and save up to buy your wife a lot of jewelry

 

[Christopher2012]

Don't have an affair is a good one.

 

[Sir_Sydney]

Don't have an affair is a good one.

and - if you need to ask.... you're 100% to slip up and get caught

 

[33James33]

Lol. Yes....but it is always good to have a plan.

 

[Christopher2012]

Plan to give up half your liquid assets.

 

[33James33]

Good point Christopher!!

 

[LadyVer]

I've never been with anyone else while married or in a relationship, but it's my experience it's more trouble and pain than it's worth.

I made the mistake of marrying someone who screwed around on me before we married. He liked to think that the only reason he screwed around was because of me. Now, decades later, he blames me for marrying his current wife. I couldn't win with that asshole. Thank God he's someone else's asshole now.

 

[Misshotndeep]

Don't.

 

[33James33]

Hey....I hear the moral implications of it all. I just know that many folks have affairs. And I'm not naive to think that people don't think through the logistics of it all. I just was wondering if had crossed anyone's mind and if so, what plans had been made? For example....prepaid cellphones?? Don't tell me you are all perfect little angels.

 

[Misshotndeep]

Mine is more that in the long run you have to look yourself in the mirror. Will it bother you? If you caught are you ok with the fall out from your kids, family society? Plus what will your word be worth if you do it. Would your spouse forgive you.

Oh and if one feels the need to get out that much then just get a divorce and move on. Save the drama.

 

[33James33]

Great point! And an important implication to weigh. I wonder if the lack of happiness in marriages causes many to enjoy sites like this as an outlet for a partner who no longer cares about the needs of their spouse. I appreciate your response. It is very important.

 

[itsallgood2000]

Very interesting and complex situation, so your in relationship long term, physical changes occur. One half feels sexually alive and the other has declared no interest so what do you do. As there is no middle ground who decides which person has their preference.

Divorce and move on is in neither persons interest and can be debated till days end.

And by being on LIT aren't we cheating emotionally?

Really interested in other peoples opinions.

 

[Messier82]

Now, decades later, he blames me for marrying his current wife. I couldn't win with that asshole. Thank God he's someone else's asshole now.

Outstanding! Safe to say, in this battle of the sexes, you won!




Another vote for - don't do it!

Am I an angel? Hell no.

Have I been a cheating arsehole in my past? Yes and I've paid for it, and I deserved it, not least because I didn't get caught out every time.

Was it worth it? I could only answer yes if I had no conscience, but I have, so no it wasn't worth it. However, "A standing prick has no conscience" which is a crap 'excuse'

Do I wish I hadn't done it? How can I not regret hurting someone I loved and who loved me?

 

[followmenow6969]

Recently in a conversation with a friend we joked about the ground rules for having an affair. I wondered if any of you had experience in things such as: 1. Never meet in a home, or 2. Never have an affair with a co-worker. What other advice would you offer?

Three words



DON'T DO IT

 

[SgtSpiderMan]

Get a divorce first.

 

[lovetopleasewomen]

put your local std clinic on speed dial.

 

[JennyNo1]

Great point! And an important implication to weigh. I wonder if the lack of happiness in marriages causes many to enjoy sites like this as an outlet for a partner who no longer cares about the needs of their spouse. I appreciate your response. It is very important.

I won't repeat what most have so adamantly said, but in answer to the above, from what I've seen, it's the other way around. Places like this are often outlets for partners who DO still care about their spouses' needs but have been frustrated and wounded because the spouses no longer care about THEIR needs. Depending on the extent of their involvement here, emotional or physical, it may or may not be as devastating if discovered as a more typical, physical affair. Often the person here considers it the lesser of two evils. Each case is different, though.

 

[smotherman]

Get a divorce first.

That's what I was thinking

If you want to have an affair, simple. divorce her first. I've never cheated on a woman and never will. It's not worth it, man.

No real man or woman cheats, in my opinion any man or woman who cheats on their spouse is not a real man/woman

Think about it before you make a huge mistake.

 

[meop79]

Don't.

If you really think you want or need more than you have currently, talk with your partner. Frank discussions about sex can take you places, while screwing around, even if you never get caught, will only hurt you in the long run...

 

[NorthRockJohnson]

Don't.

If you really think you want or need more than you have currently, talk with your partner. Frank discussions about sex can take you places, while screwing around, even if you never get caught, will only hurt you in the long run...

What meop79 said.

 

[BreezySnow]

Very interesting and complex situation, so your in relationship long term, physical changes occur. One half feels sexually alive and the other has declared no interest so what do you do. As there is no middle ground who decides which person has their preference.

Divorce and move on is in neither persons interest and can be debated till days end.

And by being on LIT aren't we cheating emotionally?

Really interested in other peoples opinions.

I am on Lit and not cheating on anyone because I am not involved with anyone. There are many on here that are here for chatting purposes and I don't mean sexual chat either. Just because this is a sexual chat forum doesn't mean everyone is talking to each other in a sexual way. Some also have their significant other on here or they know about them being on here. In either case they aren't cheating.

Now, some will also tell you that being online and only words it isn't cheating either, but I think that is each person's personal opinion and what they and their partner feel is actual cheating.

 

[Deleted member 1306910]

Call your lawyer and then check to see if your wife has called her lawyer.

 

[Kat73]

Talk to your spouse, maybe they are feeling the same way you are. Open communication. It's not cheating if they agree to let you do it.

 

[janeyl]

I went to a casino once, it was fun but someone wiser than I gave me some advice before I went...never gamble with anything you can't afford to lose..

I don't have a moral standpoint on this as I'm in no position to...but you are rolling the dice, what's at stake?