After formal sex

[jodan20xx]

Ok, here is a little back story:

My girlfriend is still in high school. She is a senior mind you so there is no cradle robbing here. Anyway, she has invited me to the high school's annual prom. Her dress is beautiful and she is ever radiant as always. My question refers to something she told me the other night.

She told me that she expected something wowing after the prom. She made sure to let me know that it had to be some fresh, new thing that she had never done before. This is very strange for this girl by the way. She is the kind that only ever wants missionary, hates for me to see her body, and is ALWAYS on edge.

If anyone out there has any information for me in regards to my question I would be greatly appreciative.

I will make sure to let you all know just what technique I use after this faithful night.

Thanks everyone!

 

[VelvetDarkness]

Well if she's usually conservative I'd go fairly easy on her, don't want to scare her to death.

Giving a girl head with champagne in your mouth is cool, the bubbles tingle pleasantly and she can return the favour.

If you want to get her more used to being naked around you, you could try blindfolding her and tying her hands with a scarf before teasing her all over with a feather, ice, champagne, whatever. Keep telling her how fucking awesome she looks and I'm sure she'll warm up further to experimentation with you.

Or you could give her some love eggs as well as a corsage and insist she wears them all evening. By the time you've danced all night with her she'll be all fired up for you. Some eggs even vibrate with a remote control that you can keep in your pocket - hours of fun.

 

[mynameiskate]

Ask her for suggestions or how far she's willing to go.

 

[The_gladiator]

I deffinately think communication is a key here, I once was in a similar situation, and its hard to know what will be willing to do, in my case the woman didn't even know some things were done.
Often a change of scenery can help. If she is made to think she is desireable, sometimes that's half the battle. Also for me I had to repeatedly reassure her that her desires outside the conservative were not wrong, that wanting to experience her fantasies was ok, and normal.

Hope that helps

 

[Colton_White]

I don't have anything to say except

except

Good luck and have fun!

 

[kimbernee]

Are you sure she's not looking for a present or a limo or chocolate-covered strawberries or something non-sexual?

 

[jodan20xx]

Are you sure she's not looking for a present or a limo or chocolate-covered strawberries or something non-sexual?

Yes I am fairly certain she was meaning something sexual.

But for the rest of you, thanks for your advice. I guess I will just explore the possibilities here.

 

[Lalah]

Anal sex. You know it's the never-done-before thing she had in mind.

 

[wehstar]

Anal sex. You know it's the never-done-before thing she had in mind.

Of course it isn't, it's getting her best friend involved that she's after.

 

[Chicklet]

Yes I am fairly certain she was meaning something sexual.

But for the rest of you, thanks for your advice. I guess I will just explore the possibilities here.

I say try some chocolate covered strawberries in bed. Run them over her body (whatever she's comfortable showing you, or maybe even outside her dress and or panties, to not freak her out) use the food to play with sex. Take a bite, run it on her neck so the juice lingers, lick it off, feed her a bite, etc etc.

I think that's pretty conservative and still special.

If she seems willing, I'd try a couple of new positions - bend her over, pull her dress up to her waist, and screw her from behind. Maybe just do it in the dress missionary style. You'll really have to go with what you feel from her, here, though.

Are you getting a hotel room? Would that be cool with her? Shower together, wash her off, pay special attention to soaping up her body...

Thoughts: if you two do drink, maybe a special glass of champagne or nice wine would relax her. I'm not suggesting that underaged people drink, though, dearie me no. Massages relax people - shoulders, neck, also legs and calves and thighs... you can even massage the butt.

 

[Lalah]

Yes, the shower is one of the best place for first time anal. Wait until she's all wet and slippery, have her bend over, and slip it in. Having her drink a glass of wine first wouldn't hurt either.

 

[SweetErika]

Yes, the shower is one of the best place for first time anal. Wait until she's all wet and slippery, have her bend over, and slip it in. Having her drink a glass of wine first wouldn't hurt either.

I disagree. Water washes away lube, and lube is usually necessary for comfortable anal. Bending over like that can also make anal far more uncomfortable than doing it while spooning, face-to-face, with her on top or even doggy style.

All around, I think the shower is a horrible idea for anal novices.

Jordan, if you are going to attempt anal play, make sure you know what you're doing. It's not like vaginal sex, and you have to take special care to make sure she's totally relaxed, lubed, warmed up and go very slow so it's not painful or harmful to her. Check out the Anal section of The Blank Manual sticky to get an idea of what you should be doing. There are also lots of other great ideas in there for spicing sex up, so you may find something completely different that she'd really like.

One thing you could do is get her a vibe and maybe another toy or two. They're inexpensive on sites like Amazon.com, you can use them in the future and she can also keep them as souvenirs of the special night. Toys are often adventurous and special for someone who's pretty conservative or has never had them.

You might also get a few silky scarves (check out thrift stores), bind her wrists gently, blindfold her and tease and please her at length. You can incorporate toys, ice, whipped cream (though keep anything with sugar away from her vagina), soft and rough materials and anything else that produces sensations to keep her going and mix it up. Most women are really into this type of scenario, so it's unlikely you'd go wrong with it.

I'd suggest staying away from alcohol and any drugs. They're wholly unnecessary for great sex, blur the lines of consent and judgment and can really get you in major trouble. If you need them to relax or have fun, you're doing something wrong.

 

[Lalah]

I disagree. Water washes away lube, and lube is usually necessary for comfortable anal. Bending over like that can also make anal far more uncomfortable than doing it while spooning, face-to-face, with her on top or even doggy style.

Of course a quickie doesn't beat hours of preparation, but the shower is great for a spur of the moment thing, better than going dry. If you want to be spontaneous I'd recommend the shower. Just use a finger or two first, then when she's more comfortable push your cock in carefully. It's going to be a little uncomfortable for two-three seconds but then she's going to be ok once you're in and stand still until she adjust. It can be done, I can take a cock dry without pain by just relaxing and I don't do anal very often.

But there's nothing wrong with SweetErika's way too, if you want to put more planing into it.

 

[SweetErika]

Of course a quickie doesn't beat hours of preparation, but the shower is great for a spur of the moment thing, better than going dry. If you want to be spontaneous I'd recommend the shower. Just use a finger or two first, then when she's more comfortable push your cock in carefully. It's going to be a little uncomfortable for two-three seconds but then she's going to be ok once you're in and stand still until she adjust. It can be done, I can take a cock dry without pain by just relaxing and I don't do anal very often.

But there's nothing wrong with SweetErika's way too, if you want to put more planing into it.

Yeah, I'm not talking about hours of preparation, though I think every bit helps when it comes to anal.

I'm envisioning two anal novices, at least one of whom's conservative, trying it in the shower without proper lube or preparation, and it looks like a disaster. Most of us who had anal as youngsters without attention to preparation and technique were turned off by it for quite sometime (forever, in some cases) because it was very painful.

I'm just suggesting that anal in the shower, or otherwise without lube and prep, is probably better for people who have a better idea of what they're doing, instead of for novices. Going through the steps to make it painless or with just a tiny bit of discomfort is a good investment for anal newbies especially.

 

[Tyr51]

After my prom, we went "parking" and I got handcuffed to the "oh shit" bar in the back seat.


Still didn't have sex (I waited until I was in college and felt I could handle it, personally, as repsonsably as I could). But it was still fun.

Point being..... if she hasnt done that before? You don't need fancy toys. It's all about the head game. That sort of thing? Power plays, etc? You don't even need intercourse for it to be memorable, especially at your age (I assume you're not massively older than your girlfriend).

 

[CheekyBoots]

Or you could give her some love eggs as well as a corsage and insist she wears them all evening. By the time you've danced all night with her she'll be all fired up for you. Some eggs even vibrate with a remote control that you can keep in your pocket - hours of fun.

Yeah, yeah! Do it!!! I'm jealous!

 

[SweetErika]

Point being..... if she hasnt done that before? You don't need fancy toys. It's all about the head game. That sort of thing? Power plays, etc? You don't even need intercourse for it to be memorable, especially at your age (I assume you're not massively older than your girlfriend).

That's a very good point, Tyr. I think it's easy for a lot of us to think in more elaborate terms because we've experienced a lot, but just about anything new and slightly unusual is usually really special and exciting when one's inexperienced.

Sometimes I wish I could go back to the time when making out never failed to make me feel butterflies, dripping wet and almost come, and sex was so fresh that I could recall the minute details of every experience and replay the memories over and over for a great thrill. Then I snap back to the reality of being very grateful for all of the pleasure experience has brought, and I wouldn't trade that for anything!

 

[Lalah]

Yeah, I'm not talking about hours of preparation, though I think every bit helps when it comes to anal.

I'm envisioning two anal novices, at least one of whom's conservative, trying it in the shower without proper lube or preparation, and it looks like a disaster. Most of us who had anal as youngsters without attention to preparation and technique were turned off by it for quite sometime (forever, in some cases) because it was very painful.

I'm just suggesting that anal in the shower, or otherwise without lube and prep, is probably better for people who have a better idea of what they're doing, instead of for novices. Going through the steps to make it painless or with just a tiny bit of discomfort is a good investment for anal newbies especially.

True, true, but my first time was in a shower and I got through it ok. Some people including me at at first are nervous about the hygiene issue, if you know what I mean, and doing it under the flow of water tend to ease the mind.

And they don't have to go all the way in the shower. They can just experiment a little, he finger her a while, then when she think she's ready he get in a little and let her adjust, maybe move around some, then he pull out. If she think it was ok and she want to go further they both wash themselves and go finish it in the bedroom with some lube. They can probably even use the lube in the shower too. Yes, it will get washed away, but if they position themselves so he isn't directly under the flow of water it should probably last long enough for him to get in.

The one make or break part is how he does the initial insertion. My lovers make it look easy, but of course they're experimented. I'd recommend any guys wanting to try anal with his girlfriend try it on himself first with a dildo so he at least get some idea of what it's like. It's only fair after all if he's asking to stick things up hers, but somehow I doubt many guys would be willing to go that far for research.

 

[fenghuang]

If she's really inexperienced, I'd stay well clear of anal. It's a big step for a lot of people and a step too far for many. You could leave her with a bad memory of prom night, which no one wants.
The shower sounds good. But if she doesn't like to be seen naked, possibly turn the lights off in the bathroom. (Might be worth leaving the door open & a light on outside so you don't break your neck. That would be another bad memory.)

 

[jodan20xx]

The one make or break part is how he does the initial insertion. My lovers make it look easy, but of course they're experimented. I'd recommend any guys wanting to try anal with his girlfriend try it on himself first with a dildo so he at least get some idea of what it's like. It's only fair after all if he's asking to stick things up hers, but somehow I doubt many guys would be willing to go that far for research.

To be quite honest, I actually do use a dildo on myself. I just wanted to see what it was like for all the women you see getting pounded on the Internet . I actually found it quite enjoyable and now use it when the time arises for me to pleasure myself. I am quite fond of it.

All this aside:

I admit to being inexperienced compared to most of you (no offense - I do not imply that you all are whores =D). I am 21, she is 18, you all are right, I am not horribly older than she is. Her lack of experimental drive kills a lot of the good ideas you all are coming up with, but as I said before. It can never hurt to have these ideas in the back of my head. Maybe with the right amount of love, play, and maybe a little luck, this night will be as memorable for me as I am hoping it will be for her.

I know that I need to be a little more assertive when it comes to the bed play, but I just can't get over the feeling that I am pressuring her into doing things she doesn't want to do.

 

[shyrebel]

Propose a orgy and if that's too crazy for her settle for a threesome. lol

 

[Lalah]

Hey, I like being called a whore.

Nothing wrong with a little assertiveness in establishing your authority in the relationship, I pressure people all the time. Just make sure it doesn't go from assertive to abusive.

 

[tickety_tock]

If you want to get her more used to being naked around you, you could try blindfolding her and tying her hands with a scarf before teasing her all over with a feather, ice, champagne, whatever. Keep telling her how fucking awesome she looks and I'm sure she'll warm up further to experimentation with you.

This seems like a really good idea to me - especially the blindfold bit. Its not too intimidating (doesn't require a lot of gear or preparation) and it may quell her body-related insecurities. It's a much more effective way to lower inhibitions than wine in my experience.

 

[Chicklet]

This seems like a really good idea to me - especially the blindfold bit. Its not too intimidating (doesn't require a lot of gear or preparation) and it may quell her body-related insecurities. It's a much more effective way to lower inhibitions than wine in my experience.

Just wanted to add that something you could try would be a silk scarf, or something really soft, and instead of tying it around her head you could just lay it over her eyes, so that she wouldn't feel too constricted.

 

[cute_nerd]

Just wanted to add that something you could try would be a silk scarf, or something really soft, and instead of tying it around her head you could just lay it over her eyes, so that she wouldn't feel too constricted.

Add some nice candles to the event so she doesn't feel so "exposed." Then she might be able to open up (so to speak!) and be more adventurous. I think the other ladies' suggestions of the scarves are right on track. I was similar to your girlfriend in the sense that I was very shy and conservative, and I didn't want anyone looking at my body,either. I would have been OK with candles and scarves, though. Maybe at that point you could also persuade her to try doggie style- once she tries it, she will probably LOVE it. Good luck!