Any other men here with a deep desire to be dominated by a woman?

[77fbird400]

Quoted for irony.

#LitRoyalty

Oh damned, now you're going to tear me apart here too?

Seriously, can a guy live out his submissive fantasy with other guys without the Lit Queens following him around trashing him?

LOL

If I had a safeword, no way in hell I would use it. If I did, I would have to live with the fact I used it. That would be like admitting failure. Not a chance. I'd rather get hurt. Things will heal. It would be like walking up to your boss and saying, I can't do it, it's too hard. It would be like a UFC fight where the clear loser will not tap out. The referee (or Domme) has to stop the fight. And if you don't follow UFC which I'm guessing you don't, about 50% of the fights, the loser won't submit. The ref has stop stop the fight. Its a guy thing. We're stubborn and stupid. That's why our women love us. You won't understand. Don't even try. Trash away, your highness. Do your worst.

BTW, I like your new label. I think you should keep it.

 

[Goldenfinger]

Oh damned, now you're going to tear me apart here too?

Seriously, can a guy live out his submissive fantasy with other guys without the Lit Queens following him around trashing him?

LOL

If I had a safeword, no way in hell I would use it. If I did, I would have to live with the fact I used it. That would be like admitting failure. Not a chance. I'd rather get hurt. Things will heal. It would be like walking up to your boss and saying, I can't do it, it's too hard. It would be like a UFC fight where the clear loser will not tap out. The referee (or Domme) has to stop the fight. And if you don't follow UFC which I'm guessing you don't, about 50% of the fights, the loser won't submit. The ref has stop stop the fight. Its a guy thing. We're stubborn and stupid. That's why our women love us. You won't understand. Don't even try. Trash away, your highness. Do your worst.

BTW, I like your new label. I think you should keep it.

Just ignore.

 

[ToPleaseHim]

Oh damned, now you're going to tear me apart here too?

Seriously, can a guy live out his submissive fantasy with other guys without the Lit Queens following him around trashing him?

LOL

If I had a safeword, no way in hell I would use it. If I did, I would have to live with the fact I used it. That would be like admitting failure. Not a chance. I'd rather get hurt. Things will heal. It would be like walking up to your boss and saying, I can't do it, it's too hard. It would be like a UFC fight where the clear loser will not tap out. The referee (or Domme) has to stop the fight. And if you don't follow UFC which I'm guessing you don't, about 50% of the fights, the loser won't submit. The ref has stop stop the fight. Its a guy thing. We're stubborn and stupid. That's why our women love us. You won't understand. Don't even try. Trash away, your highness. Do your worst.

BTW, I like your new label. I think you should keep it.

This is proof that you do not understand BDSM or consent.

 

[Goldenfinger]

I guess I don’t understand BDSM either. Please explain. I just go to the threads that are similar to our lifestyle. She’s dominant I’m submissive.

 

[ToPleaseHim]

I guess I don’t understand BDSM either. Please explain. I just go to the threads that are similar to our lifestyle. She’s dominant I’m submissive.

Do you understand and respect limits? Do you and she communicate? Do you understand the purpose of a safe word? If you aren’t in these threads dismissing SSC and RACK (with sides of misogyny, toxic masculinity, and homophobia for added fun), then this definitely didn’t apply to you. Please continue with whatever point you’re trying to make, though.

 

[ToPleaseHim]

Adding to this, there is not one right way to BDSM. I, and many many others, have posted that frequently over the years here at Lit. The continuum of kinks is very long and varied, but there are universals. SSC is one of them - BDSM is always Safe, Sane, and Consensual. Without these, it’s abuse or worse.

 

[supercollider00]

Adding to this, there is not one right way to BDSM. I, and many many others, have posted that frequently over the years here at Lit. The continuum of kinks is very long and varied, but there are universals. SSC is one of them - BDSM is always Safe, Sane, and Consensual. Without these, it’s abuse or worse.

This 100000x. Dynamics are unique and will vary with time. I am however often really worried about how many times I see subs of all genders say they have "no limits" and the like. Everyone has their own limits and not understanding that is a huge red flag. The Dom/me should always be checking in with the sub to make sure everything is SSC. I personally would never play with anyone that doesn't understand that and one generally sees who that is very quickly. It's also why having a "slow down" safeword can be so useful and one should never be scared of using safewords when needed.

I'll be honest here and say that I find male Doms to generally be less understanding of this, while most Dommes I've played with and talked with completely understand it.

 

[77fbird400]

Black woman in an evening dress in a Scottish castle? 5K USD? I don't even have 1K USD to spare, do you know how much food teenage boys eat?

I'm sorry if this wasn't clear. But I was describing a FANTASY of mine. It is not real and it never will be. My wife and I don't "play with others". I figure if you're going to fantasise, may as well make it exciting.

I was just joking around with being stubborn. I mean I really am stubborn to a fault but it gives my wife something fun to talk about with the other girls at work. Honestly, is that bad too?

 

[MeekMe]

Oh damned, now you're going to tear me apart here too?

Seriously, can a guy live out his submissive fantasy with other guys without the Lit Queens following him around trashing him?

LOL

If I had a safeword, no way in hell I would use it. If I did, I would have to live with the fact I used it. That would be like admitting failure. Not a chance. I'd rather get hurt. Things will heal. It would be like walking up to your boss and saying, I can't do it, it's too hard. It would be like a UFC fight where the clear loser will not tap out. The referee (or Domme) has to stop the fight. And if you don't follow UFC which I'm guessing you don't, about 50% of the fights, the loser won't submit. The ref has stop stop the fight. Its a guy thing. We're stubborn and stupid. That's why our women love us. You won't understand. Don't even try. Trash away, your highness. Do your worst.

BTW, I like your new label. I think you should keep it.

Yeah, this is a bad analogy. Usually, you aren’t participating in BDSM like a fighting participant with the goal of winning at the end of the interaction. BDSM isn’t your job or an MMA fight. The majority of MMA fighters (especially professional athletes) are not thinking “it’ll heal” they’re actively avoiding injury when they check kicks or keep someone in their guard. Getting hurt in the ring can end your career. My husband does BJJ and I can tell you they are constantly working with the end goal of protecting themselves. It’s not a male thing. My husband, his professor, and the men and women training are training to incapacitate/hurt others while keeping themselves as safe as possible. Nobody is going in there thinking, “well if my arm gets broken in an armbar, it’ll heal.” Those participants DO NOT want their arm broken. Injury means missing out on training, fights, and just life in general.

This is not comparable.

Also, shout out to all the awesome women in MMA! Valentina Shevchenko! BEAST!

 

[KimGordon67]

You are wildly inconsistent, and talk about unsafe situations.
It’s a guy thing is a cop-out.
It’s a you thing. Plenty of men here do not think like you, so don’t even go there.
Sometimes, you don’t heal. You can die being choked out. You can die in rope play. You can die drowning in your own spit with a ball gag.

This is so true. Honestly, in all my years on Lit, I don't think I've ever seen someone rely on the whole 'men are from mars' thing as much as this. I'd actually never thought about it before, how Lit is relatively free of this sort of thing.

 

[Goldenfinger]

I understand the thought behind not “tapping out”. But since everyone’s different if you don’t have guidelines and safe words, your putting a lot of responsibility on your domme not to go too far.

 

[ultramarineblue]

I understand the thought behind not “tapping out”. But since everyone’s different if you don’t have guidelines and safe words, your putting a lot of responsibility on your domme not to go too far.

Yeah, that kind of responsibility would be too much initially. I've dabbled with topping and the guy thought he didn't want a safeword. I wasn't going to do anything at all with him because while I know him pretty well, I don't really have any idea where his limits are. I have to trust that someone will use a safeword before I would go anywhere near pushing limits. I really enjoyed playing around with that but he wasn't the one to really explore it. After all, it stops being fun when actual damage, physical or mental, happens.

 

[ultramarineblue]

I’m out.
See you on the dark side of the moon.

I love that song.

 

[supercollider00]

Yeah, that kind of responsibility would be too much initially. I've dabbled with topping and the guy thought he didn't want a safeword. I wasn't going to do anything at all with him because while I know him pretty well, I don't really have any idea where his limits are. I have to trust that someone will use a safeword before I would go anywhere near pushing limits. I really enjoyed playing around with that but he wasn't the one to really explore it. After all, it stops being fun when actual damage, physical or mental, happens.

I can't even imagine ever playing without a safeword. It just seems to ridiculous and is a huge red flag. Seems like when it pops up it's mostly men saying they have no limits as well. Bizarre.

 

[KimGordon67]

I can't even imagine ever playing without a safeword. It just seems to ridiculous and is a huge red flag. Seems like when it pops up it's mostly men saying they have no limits as well. Bizarre.

I read a thing a while back where a guy described deciding to move into a no limits situation with his partner. I think the end result was that it wasn't that awesome for him.

 

[supercollider00]

I read a thing a while back where a guy described deciding to move into a no limits situation with his partner. I think the end result was that it wasn't that awesome for him.

I just can't fathom in any situation saying that I have no limits and would play in any way, shape or form. It's not safe, and genuinely just shows a lack of self-understanding in my humble opinion.

 

[IrisAlthea]

Adding to this, there is not one right way to BDSM. I, and many many others, have posted that frequently over the years here at Lit. The continuum of kinks is very long and varied, but there are universals. SSC is one of them - BDSM is always Safe, Sane, and Consensual. Without these, it’s abuse or worse.

I do prefer RACK because Risk Aware is easier for me to define than safe abd sane. I saw you mention Rack earlier so I guess you meant either.

I understand the thought behind not “tapping out”. But since everyone’s different if you don’t have guidelines and safe words, your putting a lot of responsibility on your domme not to go too far.

Yup.
Not giving honest feed back, either by safeword, trafic light, plainspeak, morse signal or whatever was ageed on, is a betrayal of trust.

I'm sorry if this wasn't clear. But I was describing a FANTASY of mine. It is not real and it never will be. My wife and I don't "play with others". I figure if you're going to fantasise, may as well make it exciting.

I was just joking around with being stubborn. I mean I really am stubborn to a fault but it gives my wife something fun to talk about with the other girls at work. Honestly, is that bad too?

Yup, it would help a lot if you were really clear about what is fantasy and what is real.
If you look at this thread it has under 50 answers but over 1400 views. The people who post comments about safety concerns are not doing it just for your benefit, but for anyone reading this and actually taking it for the real thing.

 

[ToPleaseHim]

I do prefer RACK because Risk Aware is easier for me to define than safe abd sane. I saw you mention Rack earlier so I guess you meant either.

I really do mean either and am trying to retrain myself to post them together. My first dominant partner introduced me to SSC and I tend to default to that.

 

[IrisAlthea]

I really do mean either and am trying to retrain myself to post them together. My first dominant partner introduced me to SSC and I tend to default to that.

I thought so, based on what you wrote earlier in the thread.

 

[Lady2020]

IDK. At least you're able to verbalize what you want. It's been my experience that men have a hard time saying what they want. Like women do. I'm not talking about the men who send pm's saying they're ready to cum. I'm talking about the men who you ask what they want or need, and then prevaricate.

 

[Goldenfinger]

IDK. At least you're able to verbalize what you want. It's been my experience that men have a hard time saying what they want. Like women do. I'm not talking about the men who send pm's saying they're ready to cum. I'm talking about the men who you ask what they want or need, and then prevaricate.

Some of them are being vague because they are trying to feel you out. They don’t want to scare you off or have you tell them they are a fucking weirdo. They want to ease into it instead of “Hi my name is chuck I enjoy long walks on the beach, Dominate women and wearing a ball gag and being fucked with a strap on all while being suspended from the ceiling by my nipples.

They’ll warm up after 10-20 one to two word responses.

 

[pussyhammer2021]

I'm thinking I am in the minority here....I am more traditional and prefer a woman to be submissive, albeit confident and assertive. I don't want to be dominated by a woman. I have no desire to immasculate myself. However, if my wife wants to fuck me a certain way or be fucked a certain way, I don't mind catering to her pleasures.

 

[ToPleaseHim]

I'm thinking I am in the minority here....I am more traditional and prefer a woman to be submissive, albeit confident and assertive. I don't want to be dominated by a woman. I have no desire to immasculate myself. However, if my wife wants to fuck me a certain way or be fucked a certain way, I don't mind catering to her pleasures.

There are lots of threads here about dominant men with submissive women. This thread is asking about men wanting to be dominated by women.

 

[PaxNurgle]

Some of them are being vague because they are trying to feel you out. They don’t want to scare you off or have you tell them they are a fucking weirdo. They want to ease into it instead of “Hi my name is chuck I enjoy long walks on the beach, Dominate women and wearing a ball gag and being fucked with a strap on all while being suspended from the ceiling by my nipples.

They’ll warm up after 10-20 one to two word responses.

Exactly my experience; if I'm with a potential partner who has expressed an interest in female dominance and kink, I still want to play it cool and not dive too directly into the dirty details of "What I'm into." Because yeah, that can be a turn off, and in my experience woman want to get to know their submissive as a person, too, just like I want to know her as a person.

I believe there is a subtle way to lead into a more intimate conversation about possible mutual interests, kinks, and ultimately, relationship goals, without just diving headfirst into it from the minute you first meet up for the first time for coffee/drinks.

 

[Goldenfinger]

Exactly my experience; if I'm with a potential partner who has expressed an interest in female dominance and kink, I still want to play it cool and not dive too directly into the dirty details of "What I'm into." Because yeah, that can be a turn off, and in my experience woman want to get to know their submissive as a person, too, just like I want to know her as a person.

I believe there is a subtle way to lead into a more intimate conversation about possible mutual interests, kinks, and ultimately, relationship goals, without just diving headfirst into it from the minute you first meet up for the first time for coffee/drinks.

Exactly!


Just think of all the posts asking how do I tell my partner I want this or that. They are just figuring it out. communication is key. When you start talking don’t leave things out because you think maybe it’s to much.

Even thought you met and are talking to someone who is in to the same kink you are. There are many different levels and things to figure out. It’s the same reason we have safe words and such. Your thinking of a little spanking and nipple pinching and she shows up with a waterboard and cheese slicer.