Ask Doctor Liz ... Again

[mpeters]

Whew! That's a relief! I was afraid I was loosing my competitive edge!

Worry not!

So ... are you saying it's a little distracting when I dangle my shoe off my toes, sweetie? Hmmm, that's very interesting. I suppose if I touched my feet or rubbed them that would make you a little uncomfortable in some way? How exactly? Tell me.

I have eyes like an eagle… they’re always resting on limbs! lol. I’m quite certain that I would be very distracted trying to have an in person therapy session with you showing a lot of leg (I mean, I’d be looking at all of your gorgeous self, but you start moving your legs like that, my train of thought would be completely derailed!). I wouldn’t say it would make me uncomfortable… extraordinarily distracted absolutely!

 

[LizVegas79]

Do we do therapy in public or private?

Dear Public or Private,

Either or. My in public rates are double though.


- Doctor "My In Public Rates Are Double" Liz

 

[LizVegas79]

Why do you want me to take my clothes off doctor? Will it make me more honest about my thoughts and feelings?

Dear Naked Honesty,

Part of my professional training was based on various work-study credits I did in the stockroom of the various bars where I bartended. I find that a partially clothed, or better yet, fully nude client is more likely to reveal their true selves to me faster. Now, whether this is because they want to be allowed to put their clothes back on as soon as possible, or whether they want me to also take off my clothes is irrelevant.

The point is getting them to open up and be honest with me about their hopes and fears, as well as their angels and demons.

Plus, it helps me better "gauge" their reaction to the other therapies that I may or may not be trying out on them.


- Doctor "I Need You At FULL Attention To Effectively Help You" Liz

 

[LizVegas79]

Sitting out in the cold in front of your office

With a sign

But, the desk arrived on the afternoon just before you shut down and sent us home !!

Dear Making Excuses Again,

So you're blaming me for blowing the UPS guy in the back of his truck and making him forget to deliver my package until the next day? That seems unfair. He was on break. I was on break. He had a huge bulge in his pants. I had a cute new black pearl manicure that I needed to see if it was moisture resistant.

This pointing fingers at others when you really need to take responsibility for your own actions is becoming a little chronic don't you think?

I have the feeling you are under a great deal of stress and that you are blaming others because your life feels so out of control. Take a breath for a moment. Calm down. And come see me when you're ready. I can help you unload some of that stress. Maybe even unload all of it. Every single drop so that you are happy and smiling and on your way again.

I can probably squeeze you in tomorrow if you like.


- Doctor "I'll Wear A Nice, Soothing All White Minidress For You Tomorrow" Liz

 

[LizVegas79]

Hi Dr Liz,

I haven't had sex in over 20 years (wife not interested), so a couple of years ago I started masturbating. I would masturbate to stories on Literotica, or some plain vanilla porn. Over the past six months or so my fantasies have evolved and have gotten well, a bit kinky. Is that something to be concerned about?

Thank you for your time

Dear Gettin' Into Kinky,

Hmm, idk. Maybe you should tell me about these "a bit kinky fantasies" of yours. It could really help me know how to hand craft the best approach for treating you.

In the meantime, I don't see any immediate reason to curtail what you are doing. If you've found something that works then stick with it. Or rather, keep sticking with it. Even if it becomes a bit sticky, or even more than a bit sticky, masturbation is something to rejoice in rather than hide from or avoid.

I am a bit concerned for your wife though. It is unnatural to go 20 years without sex unless she's almost 100. Is she close to 100? If not, I suspect she has been masturbating behind your back. Probably daily, because, well, that's just what most of us do.

But, before you confront her about this, I will need to know a little more about you both.

Has she ever expressed interest in being with another woman? What about Black guys? Have the two of you ever had a threesome with anyone else? If so, how did it go?

I'm here to help, sweetie.


- Doctor "So What Are You Into?" Liz

 

[LizVegas79]

Worry not!

I have eyes like an eagle… they’re always resting on limbs! lol. I’m quite certain that I would be very distracted trying to have an in person therapy session with you showing a lot of leg (I mean, I’d be looking at all of your gorgeous self, but you start moving your legs like that, my train of thought would be completely derailed!). I wouldn’t say it would make me uncomfortable… extraordinarily distracted absolutely!

Dear Eagle Eyes,

Thank you for your honesty. I hear you and I respect your boundaries.

Okay, so, less bare leg. Got it.

How's this? Can you concentrate on what I'm saying and do what I say now?


- Doctor "Concentrate Or Else" Liz

 

[BlackSatinKnight]

Dear Eagle Eyes,

Thank you for your honesty. I hear you and I respect your boundaries.

Okay, so, less bare leg. Got it.

How's this? Can you concentrate on what I'm saying and do what I say now?


- Doctor "Concentrate Or Else" Liz

Oh no Dr. Liz, more bare legs please

Or at least some wardrobe suggestions

 

[mpeters]

Dear Eagle Eyes,

Thank you for your honesty. I hear you and I respect your boundaries.

Okay, so, less bare leg. Got it.

How's this? Can you concentrate on what I'm saying and do what I say now?


- Doctor "Concentrate Or Else" Liz

Oh Doctor Liz, I think you’ve made things way worse! And then I see above that nudity is mandatory for sessions now?

I don’t know that my insurance will cover the cost of all the appointments I’d need to make! We might have to work something out!

 

[JerseyJade]

Dear Making Excuses Again,

So you're blaming me for blowing the UPS guy in the back of his truck and making him forget to deliver my package until the next day? That seems unfair. He was on break. I was on break. He had a huge bulge in his pants. I had a cute new black pearl manicure that I needed to see if it was moisture resistant.

That must have been one heck of a blowjob, Liz. But then again, knowing you, it shouldn't surprise me.

 

[RoanMtn]

Dear Gettin' Into Kinky,

Hmm, idk. Maybe you should tell me about these "a bit kinky fantasies" of yours. It could really help me know how to hand craft the best approach for treating you.

In the meantime, I don't see any immediate reason to curtail what you are doing. If you've found something that works then stick with it. Or rather, keep sticking with it. Even if it becomes a bit sticky, or even more than a bit sticky, masturbation is something to rejoice in rather than hide from or avoid.

I am a bit concerned for your wife though. It is unnatural to go 20 years without sex unless she's almost 100. Is she close to 100? If not, I suspect she has been masturbating behind your back. Probably daily, because, well, that's just what most of us do.

But, before you confront her about this, I will need to know a little more about you both.

Has she ever expressed interest in being with another woman? What about Black guys? Have the two of you ever had a threesome with anyone else? If so, how did it go?

I'm here to help, sweetie.


- Doctor "So What Are You Into?" Liz

Thank you for your response, Dr Liz. No, not near 100, lol. She's a strong woman with a powerful mind, but really has no interest in sex. It's been that way since the beginning (we didn't have sex until we were married).

No, she never expressed any interest in any of the above. She did catch me masturbating years ago and thought it was quote unquote "disgusting". That's the last time I did it until I started a couple of years ago, and it took a while to get through the shame and guilt of that.

I'm hesitant to describe those fantasies as I'm a bit embarrassed about them.

Thanks again for your response.

 

[LizVegas79]

Oh no Dr. Liz, more bare legs please

Or at least some wardrobe suggestions

Oh Doctor Liz, I think you’ve made things way worse! And then I see above that nudity is mandatory for sessions now?

I don’t know that my insurance will cover the cost of all the appointments I’d need to make! We might have to work something out!

Hmmm, looks like I've backed myself into a corner and now I have to satisfy two patients at once.

Gosh golly gee how on Earth am I EVER going to satisfy two big strong guys at once?

I'm flexible about working something out. I'm actually really flexible. Want to see?

 

[LizVegas79]

That must have been one heck of a blowjob, Liz. But then again, knowing you, it shouldn't surprise me.

"one heck of a blowjob" - how'd you know that's what he said JJ? Did we have the same UPS driver? (what a lucky guy! )

I don't like to brag but years of practice have paid off lol

 

[mpeters]

I'm flexible about working something out. I'm actually really flexible. Want to see?

There is no way I’d consider answering anything but “yes” to that question!

 

[LizVegas79]

Thank you for your response, Dr Liz. No, not near 100, lol. She's a strong woman with a powerful mind, but really has no interest in sex. It's been that way since the beginning (we didn't have sex until we were married).

No, she never expressed any interest in any of the above. She did catch me masturbating years ago and thought it was quote unquote "disgusting". That's the last time I did it until I started a couple of years ago, and it took a while to get through the shame and guilt of that.

I'm hesitant to describe those fantasies as I'm a bit embarrassed about them.

Thanks again for your response.

Dear Embarrassed,

Hmm, well that is a problem. Her problem. Not yours. You don't need to make it your own. You have to stick with what you can control, not what you can't control.

Some women, are, I'm sorry to say, asexual. It doesn't mean that their pan or poly sexual. It means they just don't think about or care about sex. It's a sad, sad hormonal affliction that, without hormonal infusions, which I do NOT recommend btw, there is little hope for change.

Except, you might get lucky. As your wife approaches menopause her hormone levels ARE ABSOLUTELY going to change. Whether they change for the better is a 50/50 proposition though so don't count on it.

What you need to do is STOP being embarrassed about your fantasies. Unless they are violent rape fantasies or something like that, guess what? You do NOT need psychiatric care. You are normal. Frustrated, yes. But, I'm betting, totally normal.

Lean into those fantasies. Use Lit to explore them. Visit and revisit the threads that you like. Check out the erotic stories section. If you have the urge to try writing you own erotic story - do it! You can keep it for yourself or publish it on here for feedback.

You need to allow yourself the pleasure of some sort of sexual community. I recommend exploring Lit before you start looking for strip clubs or members only clubs or internet hookup sites and seedy motels.


- Doctor "Come Back And Talk To Me Anytime" Liz

 

[ShaneoD]

Dear Dr Liz,

I have a particularly attractive married co-worker who regularly tells me stories about people copping a feel, but when she tells me these stories she cops a feel of me to illustrate her stories. So I guess my question is, is she just telling a story, or what are her motivations for copping a feel of me?

Thanks,
Shane.

 

[RoanMtn]

Dear Embarrassed,

Hmm, well that is a problem. Her problem. Not yours. You don't need to make it your own. You have to stick with what you can control, not what you can't control.

Some women, are, I'm sorry to say, asexual. It doesn't mean that their pan or poly sexual. It means they just don't think about or care about sex. It's a sad, sad hormonal affliction that, without hormonal infusions, which I do NOT recommend btw, there is little hope for change.

Except, you might get lucky. As your wife approaches menopause her hormone levels ARE ABSOLUTELY going to change. Whether they change for the better is a 50/50 proposition though so don't count on it.

What you need to do is STOP being embarrassed about your fantasies. Unless they are violent rape fantasies or something like that, guess what? You do NOT need psychiatric care. You are normal. Frustrated, yes. But, I'm betting, totally normal.

Lean into those fantasies. Use Lit to explore them. Visit and revisit the threads that you like. Check out the erotic stories section. If you have the urge to try writing you own erotic story - do it! You can keep it for yourself or publish it on here for feedback.

You need to allow yourself the pleasure of some sort of sexual community. I recommend exploring Lit before you start looking for strip clubs or members only clubs or internet hookup sites and seedy motels.


- Doctor "Come Back And Talk To Me Anytime" Liz

Thank you Dr Liz. No, no violence in my fantasies, not even BDSM. I have written a few stories, but have kept them to myself. I have no interest in strip clubs, etc., as I find that all rather tawdry.

And thank you for "normalizing" me. I had a hurdle to climb just to start masturbating again, and your words reduce those negative feeling I may have towards masturbating.

 

[LizVegas79]

Thank you Dr Liz. No, no violence in my fantasies, not even BDSM. I have written a few stories, but have kept them to myself. I have no interest in strip clubs, etc., as I find that all rather tawdry.

And thank you for "normalizing" me. I had a hurdle to climb just to start masturbating again, and your words reduce those negative feeling I may have towards masturbating.

Never let it be said I ever got in the way of masturbation lol - sometimes I put myself right in the middle, or even right in front of it!

(it's the best moisturizer around imho)

 

[BlackSatinKnight]

Hmmm, looks like I've backed myself into a corner and now I have to satisfy two patients at once.

Gosh golly gee how on Earth am I EVER going to satisfy two big strong guys at once?

I'm flexible about working something out. I'm actually really flexible. Want to see?

I’d love to see how flexible you are, and I don’t think @mpeters would object to both of us trying to satisfy you. He and I tend to troll the same boards.

 

[Eyelevel]

Dear Public or Private,

Either or. My in public rates are double though.


- Doctor "My In Public Rates Are Double" Liz

I will try to schedule a time.

 

[sister jenny]

Dear Dr Liz,

First time writer, long time listener.
What should my friend do, she thinks she has a crush on her psychologist?
She is aware of all the problems, but still can’t shake her feelings. We have talked about it a little and the chance that it is because of her vulnerable situation and her psychologists position of power. But she does not care.
Not that is matters, but she is married and her psychologist is also a woman.

Thank you!

Friend of a friend

 

[LizVegas79]

Dear Dr Liz,

I have a particularly attractive married co-worker who regularly tells me stories about people copping a feel, but when she tells me these stories she cops a feel of me to illustrate her stories. So I guess my question is, is she just telling a story, or what are her motivations for copping a feel of me?

Thanks,
Shane.

Dear Copp-ee,

It means she has firmly placed you in the 'friendzone' - which is good because it means she trusts you. It also means she feels safe when she is around you so that's a good thing too.

Unless she starts starting conversations about threeways, office sex, or sex addiction that her husband is 100% aware of and okay with, you should stay in the friendzone and just keep on enjoying her company and letting her use you to process the frustration of being groped in public by strangers. (it happens to me in the elevators at work a lot so I know what she's going through - sometimes I just laugh it off or pretend it didn't happen, other times I don't just laugh it off or pretend it didn't happen)

I'm willing to bet she loves being able to talk with you and doesn't want to make your relationship awkward just as much as you don't want to make your relationship with her awkward by maybe reading her friendliness and vulnerability as flirtation. The jump from friendzone to more than just friends, or better yet, FWB, is NOT a big leap so trust the process, do your best to read the room, respect her the sanctity of her marriage unless she tells you not to and most of all, just be patient with her.

If she ever ups her frisky game by letting her hands linger, or rubbing you a little extra longer somewhere, then maybe repeat the move on her while saying something like, "You mean like this?" so that you can report back here to me about how she reacts.


- Doctor "Don't Hate The Friendzone" Liz

 

[LizVegas79]

Dear Dr Liz,

First time writer, long time listener.
What should my friend do, she thinks she has a crush on her psychologist?
She is aware of all the problems, but still can’t shake her feelings. We have talked about it a little and the chance that it is because of her vulnerable situation and her psychologists position of power. But she does not care.
Not that is matters, but she is married and her psychologist is also a woman.

Thank you!

Friend of a friend

Dear Friend of a Friend,

She probably doesn't just think she has a crush on her psychologist, she does have a crush on her.

It is very, very, VERY common for patients to fall into serious like-like, even love, with their psychologists because, perhaps for the first time in their lives they feel listened to and heard. That is the #1 job requirement of being a psychologist - listening. Often with a lot of empathy, which makes our patients feel even more warm and fuzzy about us.

Your friend needs to talk with her psychologist about these feelings. She should explore these feelings about her psychologist with her psychologist because by digging a little deeper, your friend may discover a hidden voice or suppressed desire that needs attention. Burying or denying our feelings never leads to a good place. We have to understand them first before we can let them go.


- Doctor "Tell Her To Tell Her" Liz

 

[LizVegas79]

"I'm sorry. I wasn't planning on seeing any patients today so I just threw on some
old grubbies this morning before coming to work. Is there something that I can
help you with?"

 

[BlackSatinKnight]

"I'm sorry. I wasn't planning on seeing any patients today so I just threw on some
old grubbies this morning before coming to work. Is there something that I can
help you with?"

Oh I’m sure if you got me in your couch something would come up

 

[Maleboobs]

I am in a conversation with two ladies, who dream of her hubbies developing breast like I have...should I encourage them?