Ask Doctor Liz ... Again

[LizVegas79]

Let’s just say I have access to high volt and neuromuscular stimulators. .... with alligator clips

Dear Amped Up,

I'm going to need to see your Ancestry.com results. If you're a descendent of Dr. Frankenstein I need to know before we take this any further!

- Doctor "I Don't Do Monsters" Liz

Darn, I don’t have a red or purple one, nor do I have one made of plastic, rubber, or glass. I do have one that is blue and stainless steel, will that suffice?

Dear Making Do,

Yes sweetie. A blue, stainless steel one will be fine.

Although be careful! Warm it up in your hands first!

- Doctor "I Don't Do Cold" Liz

Dr. Liz,

I thought about your advice and figured I would “step” out in a much milder, but hopefully curious way. None of the other avatars gained the interest that a conversationalist like me desired, so maybe showing I am more than a bbc might. I have found there to be some interesting individuals with varied taste around here and because of that I will continue to stick my “toes” in the water to check the temperature. We will see how it goes...

Dear Curious Conversationalist,

Is your avatar now a picture of your knees?

- Doctor "I Don't Do Vague" Liz

Dr. Liz,

Allowing me to make a mess...does that mean what I think or is this code again? And will you be wearing said outfit for the tour?

Your lovable, clueless Mule.

Dear NOT Clueless,

It is code and it probably is what you think it is!

And yes, I'd be happy to wear that outfit for the tour if you think it will help put butts in the seats (sell tickets! )

- Doctor "I Don't Drive, But I Love Going On Tour" Liz

 

[Jd192235]

Dear Amped Up,

I'm going to need to see your Ancestry.com results. If you're a descendent of Dr. Frankenstein I need to know before we take this any further!

- Doctor "I Don't Do Monsters" Liz


Well you know what they say about monster hands and feet.... and the energy of you sibia ...

 

[LizVegas79]

Dear Dr. Liz,

What would you suggest a long-time lurker, brand-new poster do to carve a niche for himself in this wonderful, sexy community?

Dear Niche Carver,

Well, #1 would be to fill out your profile. But since that's impossible at the moment for reasons unknown to all of us, I would suggest one or two short sentences describing yourself in your Signature Line.

#2 would be to find any and all threads in your particular niche and post regularly on them so that you get to know other people who are into similar things that you are.

#3 would be to START YOUR OWN THREAD in your particular niche and post regularly in it to attract any audience that might be interested in it.

- Doctor "My Sex Advice Is Turning Into Coaching" Liz

Dear Dr Liz

How do I get rid of this massive hard on the lovely ladies above me caused??

Dear Massively Avoiding Responsibility,

Let's get one thing straight.

There is no such thing as an innocent boner.

You are blaming the lovely ladies above (or below depending upon your cosmological settings) for your condition, when really, isn't your condition a direct result of your own physical and mental response to the innocent musings of said lovely ladies?

Also, when you say "massive" - how "massive" exactly are we talking about? I need to know so I need you to come in for an emergency appointment so that we can measure said massiv-ity and update your patient records.

We are waiting impatiently (with our imaginations going wild) for your response.

- Doctor "My Staff Will Be All Hands Upon You Upon Your Arrival" Liz

 

[Texastuffbbc]

Dr. Liz,

My preference for toes, tongues, and titillation seem to get me into some “tight” predicaments. I have tried to mellow my musing of the meticulously maintained mounds of the female anatomy to limited success. Said activity usually lead me into an imaginative state of employing my tongue to those mounds for more than minutes. What is the best way to overcome this oral fixation of the fabulous females that grace these pages?

Signed, Tongue Tired Texan

 

[ShaneoD]

Dear Cheeky,

Yes. And, imho, quite common too.

Don't feel bad.

As your REWARD for being brave enough to ask such a personal question,
I DARE YOU to compliment a pretty stranger on her shoes.

Report your results back here, or in a PM to complete your Reward.


- Doctor "Do It Because I Said So" Liz

I finally managed to do it. Having misread the comment then had to wait for the right time, anyway.

I told a lady "those are really nice shoes they go really well with your outfit", they were those ones that look like boots but have a high heel. Her reply was "oh it's just jeans and a top I through on" and then she went all gooey, for want of a better description, broke her posture, couldn't make eye contact, kept smiling and played with her hair, which was funny because I was delivering a package for her husband

 

[LizVegas79]

Dr. Liz,

My preference for toes, tongues, and titillation seem to get me into some “tight” predicaments. I have tried to mellow my musing of the meticulously maintained mounds of the female anatomy to limited success. Said activity usually lead me into an imaginative state of employing my tongue to those mounds for more than minutes. What is the best way to overcome this oral fixation of the fabulous females that grace these pages?

Signed, Tongue Tired Texan

Dear Mister Multiple T&M-Words,

The good news is you have come to the right place to ask.

The bad news is, no matter how good you think you are, when we tap you on the head it means enough is enough.

I'm not suggesting you need to overcome this oral fixation of yours. Just trust me when I tell you that women are WAAAAAY better kissers than men and no matter how good you think you are, or have been told that you are, you need a strong Plan B too.

BTW - you're new avatar is your best one yet imho. I'm no huge fan of golfing, but it sends a subtle message that you are well off enough to be able to afford to play and, for some, I'm sure it will suggest that you know how to swing a club and that the club is merely a metaphor for a certain part of your anatomy.

Too alleviate your problem in the short term though, I suggest eating a raw habanero or three.

For being so honest about your "problem" I am going to REWARD you with a DARE that I hope you will accept and report back on. This particular one comes from a friend of mine that you would probably like to meet.

DARE: If you work with someone of interest to you, buy them something (lunch, edible arrangements, flowers, gift basket) and have it delivered anonymously to them. If you don't work with someone of interest to you but you know where someone you are interested in works, target that person. Although, you'll miss out on watching the sparks fly if you do.

- Doctor "Do It Because I Said So" Liz

 

[KinkyLaughs]

Dr. Liz : How long does it take to learn the basics of another language?

 

[LizVegas79]

I finally managed to do it. Having misread the comment then had to wait for the right time, anyway.

I told a lady "those are really nice shoes they go really well with your outfit", they were those ones that look like boots but have a high heel. Her reply was "oh it's just jeans and a top I through on" and then she went all gooey, for want of a better description, broke her posture, couldn't make eye contact, kept smiling and played with her hair, which was funny because I was delivering a package for her husband

Dear My New Favorite Shoe Lover,

WELL DONE!!!

You're such a good boy, and see? It paid off didn't it? I bet you totally could have gotten her number under different circumstances.

I guess it was a little awkward when she found out that her husband was gay (package, delivery, nevermind ) but better luck next time.

And guess what? THERE IS GOING TO BE A NEXT TIME!

As a REWARD for completing your PREVIOUS DARE, I now DARE YOU AGAIN,
this time to: Tie your tie in an eye catching tie knot. See how many stares you get. (suggestion: try an Eldridge knot).

Even if you don't usually ever wear a tie, pick a time and place to wear one. I can't promise that a woman will come up to you and offer to fix it, or comment on it, but, you might be surprised. We love a cute fashion statement or blunder, Covid or no Covid.

- Doctor "Do It Because I Said So Again" Liz

 

[Just4AFriend]

Dear Dr Liz
As per your “I don’t do monsters” above
Have you seen “Young Frankenstein” some parts are appreciated by monsters’ lady friends

I will spare you clips, unless you have never seen it

 

[Texastuffbbc]

Dear Mister Multiple T&M-Words,

The good news is you have come to the right place to ask.

The bad news is, no matter how good you think you are, when we tap you on the head it means enough is enough.

I'm not suggesting you need to overcome this oral fixation of yours. Just trust me when I tell you that women are WAAAAAY better kissers than men and no matter how good you think you are, or have been told that you are, you need a strong Plan B too.

BTW - you're new avatar is your best one yet imho. I'm no huge fan of golfing, but it sends a subtle message that you are well off enough to be able to afford to play and, for some, I'm sure it will suggest that you know how to swing a club and that the club is merely a metaphor for a certain part of your anatomy.

Too alleviate your problem in the short term though, I suggest eating a raw habanero or three.

For being so honest about your "problem" I am going to REWARD you with a DARE that I hope you will accept and report back on. This particular one comes from a friend of mine that you would probably like to meet.

DARE: If you work with someone of interest to you, buy them something (lunch, edible arrangements, flowers, gift basket) and have it delivered anonymously to them. If you don't work with someone of interest to you but you know where someone you are interested in works, target that person. Although, you'll miss out on watching the sparks fly if you do.

- Doctor "Do It Because I Said So" Liz

Dear Doctor “Do It Because I Said So”

Your date was definitely interesting. Retired at 54 so the first option did not work. I went with the second and targeted a person with a Gift. The response was WTF in a reply, but thank you so much because I was just wondering how I was going to get a Christmas layaway out. I felt a warm place in my heart and felt like the right thing to do! Anyway, I will just have to continue with the oral fixation because their is no way I am eating a habenero.

 

[BlackCaramelCreme]

Hi Dr. Liz,

I'm new to this sooooo.....here goes....*gulp of courage*(peach sangria)

There's a Litster I kinda have a crush on. How do I get this person to notice me? I'm quite shy. I've seen your space here, but I needed a bit of courage to even type this. Because of phone limitations, I can't post a picture of the drink.

 

[hairball18]

Dear Dr. Liz.
I wake up to this feeling of falling..

 

[LizVegas79]

Dr. Liz : How long does it take to learn the basics of another language?

Dear Interested in Being Bi,

It doesn't take long to learn a new language when you totally immerse yourself in it. I suggest going to the native tongue country of your choice and staying in a small town where no one speaks English. You'll learn quick. I promise.

No DARE for you because your question was more cerebral than sexual.

Or, were you talking about the Language of Love?

- Doctor "When I Have To Guess At What You Really Mean, I Have To Guess At The Cure Too" Liz

Dear Dr Liz
As per your “I don’t do monsters” above
Have you seen “Young Frankenstein” some parts are appreciated by monsters’ lady friends

I will spare you clips, unless you have never seen it

Dear Monster Lover,

I have! I love that movie. It makes me laugh every time I see it. I cried when I heard Gene Wilder died.

No DARE for you because now I'm sad.

- Doctor "If You Make Me Sad, I Can't Make You Happy" Liz

Dear Dr. Liz,

One quick question - what is the best way to get over a funk?

Dear Funky,

I recommend a potent sativa that has a high % of humulene. Or a nice sativa gummy bear. Only take about 10mg though unless you are already very familiar with medical marijuana.

For being honest with me though, I will REWARD you with a DARE -- go to a medical marijuana dispensary near you, or one in a state near you were it's legal, and ask for a recommendation for "sativa gummys". Then take one and only one and report back here to me your results. Then MAYBE I'll send you a picture of the body part of your choice to cheer you the rest of the way up

- Doctor "If You're Sad, I Bet I Can Make You Happy" Liz

 

[LizVegas79]

Hi Dr. Liz,

I'm new to this sooooo.....here goes....*gulp of courage*(peach sangria)

There's a Litster I kinda have a crush on. How do I get this person to notice me? I'm quite shy. I've seen your space here, but I needed a bit of courage to even type this. Because of phone limitations, I can't post a picture of the drink.

Dear Scaredy-Kitty,

Mmm, that's a toughie. Being shy when you're hoping for an online romance is pretty much a mood killer.

I suggest taking another sip (or gulp!) of courage and accepting my DARE as YOUR REWARD for being so courageous and posting on my humble, little thread.

REWARD DARE - Tell this object of your desire how funny one of their posts was, or how much you liked one of their posts and INCLUDE THE REASON WHY. Make it personal without being too personal or sharing TMI. When they respond, thank them and figure out a way to extend the conversation, either the same one or start a new one. Remember, the brain is the biggest sex organ. At least for most guys LOL

- Doctor "Relationship Advice Is My Specialty" Liz

 

[LizVegas79]

What a tantalizing dare! You're always so tempting

Nice try. But I only let my patients kiss my ass before their first session.
After that, they kiss where and what I tell them to or else.

 

[MrPractical]

Dear Scaredy-Kitty,

Mmm, that's a toughie. Being shy when you're hoping for an online romance is pretty much a mood killer.

I suggest taking another sip (or gulp!) of courage and accepting my DARE as YOUR REWARD for being so courageous and posting on my humble, little thread.

REWARD DARE - Tell this object of your desire how funny one of their posts was, or how much you liked one of their posts and INCLUDE THE REASON WHY. Make it personal without being too personal or sharing TMI. When they respond, thank them and figure out a way to extend the conversation, either the same one or start a new one. Remember, the brain is the biggest sex organ. At least for most guys LOL

- Doctor "Relationship Advice Is My Specialty" Liz

Good girl.

 

[LizVegas79]

Dear Dr. Liz.
I wake up to this feeling of falling..

Dear Dreaming of Falling,

Don't worry. We won't fall. I was told it's tempered glass whatever that means

- Doctor "Dreaming Of A Room With Two Views" Liz

 

[LizVegas79]

I'm sure this happens to doctors like me all the time but sometimes I feel so dirty after a session
I forget to take off my doctor clothes before I step in the shower and rinse off

 

[Lorelei907]

I'm sure this happens to doctors like me all the time but sometimes I feel so dirty after a session
I forget to take off my doctor clothes before I step in the shower and rinse off

That little duty usually falls on me, Sweetie.

 

[LizVegas79]

That little duty usually falls on me, Sweetie.

You weren't around and I don't know what he had been eating but his admiration smelled awful!

 

[Texastuffbbc]

Dr. Liz,

Your virtual appointment scheduled said you were all booked. I need a concierge physician. They make house calls and are reserved for select people. It is a popular service of the Iler crust. I bet you would do well to consider such a service. Ok your couch seems open again. What do you think? Sitting in the car waiting to cum in gets tiring. Lol

 

[LizVegas79]

Dr. Liz,

Your virtual appointment scheduled said you were all booked. I need a concierge physician. They make house calls and are reserved for select people. It is a popular service of the Iler crust. I bet you would do well to consider such a service. Ok your couch seems open again. What do you think? Sitting in the car waiting to cum in gets tiring. Lol

Dear Waiting For No Reason,

We have a lovely Reception Area. Ask anyone. Plenty of clean but dirty magazines. A glass wall to the employees shower. A great view of our new Asian receptionist.

- Doctor "Delayed Gratification Is Silly" Liz

 

[MrPractical]

Dr. Liz,
I could use your advice. I enjoy a porch on the front of my house and it has become all too common for random women to cat call me from their car or even walk up to sit on my porch for a 2 hour visit. What am I to do? On one hand I am flattered...on the other, I am beginning to feel like a piece of meat.

 

[LizVegas79]

Dr. Liz,
I could use your advice. I enjoy a porch on the front of my house and it has become all too common for random women to cat call me from their car or even walk up to sit on my porch for a 2 hour visit. What am I to do? On one hand I am flattered...on the other, I am beginning to feel like a piece of meat.

Dear Porch View,

Welcome to every single (or married, or just in a relationship) woman's world! Now you know how it feels to be objectified and judged based only on our outward physical appearance.

You have to learn how to have fun with it or you will become a bitter, old, lonely lesbian LOL.

Maybe you should try sitting on your porch with some clothes on. I mean, at least a robe, okay? Because meat attracts animals. And although there are tons of women who will argue with me on this, although we try to disguise, hide and lie about it, the fact is we are animals too. Animals with needs not too unlike your own.

You obviously have what some of these woman want. Maybe in addition to the robe, take down that big WELCOME! sign on your porch too. Maybe ease up on the cologne and tanning butter too. Nothing attracts feral women in desperate need of a vacation (which is pretty much all of us right now) like the smell of tanning butter.

As a REWARD for coming to me with your problem, I DARE YOU to compliment the next female cashier you come across at a grocery store on her appearance.

* Extra points if she's a big girl, or over 50, or not the same color as you. *


- Doctor "Don't Forget To Objectify That Person In The Mirror Too" Liz

 

[mulehead61]

Dear Dr. Liz,

I was up way past my bedtime the other night and saw an ad for those 1-800 talk to me girl ads (those are still around? ). My question is if that lovely lady was wanting to talk to me so badly, why does she still want my credit card number?

Signed,

I don’t pay for sex, much less pay to talk about it.