Ask Doctor Liz ... Again

[LizVegas79]

"Doctor, doctor, I need your diagnosis!"

"Really? You come in every week with some scheme to have me handle your penis."

"But, doctor, I get hard every time I go to the toilet, and I can barely wee!"

"Well, it's either you're lying to me, or urine trouble now."

That's right. It's on theme, it's funny, and they say laughter is the best way to a woman's heart.

... actually, any good doctor can find better ways to the heart, but this way is far less fatal!

I see someone is "self-diagnosing" again. :caning:

I've told you time and time again HB, try to save up a couple of days to make the next time a little more special.


- Doctor "Delayed Gratification Isn't Just A River In Egypt" Liz

 

[LizVegas79]

Women tied up with another woman

Dear Something In Common,

I can definitely help you with that.

Looking at ink blots is always a good place to see where someone's head is at.

Tell me, what do you see in this one?

https://cdn012.**********/uploads/photos/2021/02/10016250/bdsmlr-10016250-ZqfgHTzmQC.jpg


- Doctor "Look At This Ink Blot And Tell Me What You See" Liz

 

[Lorelei907]

Dear Something In Common,

I can definitely help you with that.

Looking at ink blots is always a good place to see where someone's head is at.

Tell me, what do you see in this one?

https://cdn012.**********/uploads/photos/2021/02/10016250/bdsmlr-10016250-ZqfgHTzmQC.jpg


- Doctor "Look At This Ink Blot And Tell Me What You See" Liz

I see a fun filled Saturday afternoon.

 

[LizVegas79]

I see a fun filled Saturday afternoon.

*tapping my chin with my finger and making a note in your file*

Hmm, very interesting. That tells me that you are trusting, optimistic and cute AF (my favorite traits in a client!).

Do you see anything else Lori?

 

[Lorelei907]

*tapping my chin with my finger and making a note in your file*

Hmm, very interesting. That tells me that you are trusting, optimistic and cute AF (my favorite traits in a client!).

Do you see anything else Lori?

A slight tremble of anticipation

 

[LizVegas79]

A slight tremble of anticipation

Well fear is one of the baser animal instincts that we all share.

One more gold star Lori for making me write the words 'baser animal instincts' in her private file

 

[LizVegas79]

"Yes, go on. I'm still listening."

- Doctor "I Don't Do House Calls But I Do Take Phone Calls After Hours" Liz

 

[hotcpu]

"Yes, go on. I'm still listening."

- Doctor "I Don't Do House Calls But I Do Take Phone Calls After Hours" Liz

Totally lost interest in my problems all of a sudden another .. Um another Um issue has sprung up!!

 

[LizVegas79]

Totally lost interest in my problems all of a sudden another .. Um another Um issue has sprung up!!

I enjoy solving your problems and my problems one at a time, sweetie.

Which is why God gave me TWO hands I guess!!


- Doctor "I Solve Each Issue With One Hand At A Time" Liz

 

[hotcpu]

I enjoy solving your problems and my problems one at a time, sweetie.

Which is why God gave me TWO hands I guess!!


- Doctor "I Solve Each Issue With One Hand At A Time" Liz

Such a Fantastic Caregiver. Always thinking of a way for the Win - Win Scenario to Cum to pass

 

[LizVegas79]

"I thought we should have your session in the garden today since we've been
talking about your struggle to control your public displays of affection lately.
So, I see you're staring at my cute new shoes and already have a boner.
Now remember, that's only okay if you don't touch it or try to adjust it in your pants
and keeping walking on by me without turning around to check out my ....
No ... let's try it again ... walking by without turning around ... better, but
I caught you again and now I'm dialing the police ... how do we apologize?"

 

[Deacon_Voss]

"I thought we should have your session in the garden today since we've been
talking about your struggle to control your public displays of affection lately.
So, I see you're staring at my cute new shoes and already have a boner.
Now remember, that's only okay if you don't touch it or try to adjust it in your pants
and keeping walking on by me without turning around to check out my ....
No ... let's try it again ... walking by without turning around ... better, but
I caught you again and now I'm dialing the police ... how do we apologize?"

Walking backwards really should be an option

 

[Jordan90]

"Doctor! Doctor! Gimme the news!"
I'll listen real hard although I'm drinkin' booze...

Dr. Liz's reputation proceeds her - and a hypothetical friend of mine has got a huge problem! Let's call him...Joe. I believe only Dr. Liz can help him, or else no one can!

Let's hypothetically say that my friend Joe has too large of a *cough cough* manhood for women to give him blowjobs. Hypothetically, almost every woman he's been with has remarked on it. He feels so unloved and so lonely, satisfying all these women with amazing oral sex yet never being satisfied himself.

What, oh whatever can he do about this horrifying situation Dr. Liz???

You're his only hope

https://encrypted-tbn0.***********/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTk8VpBn77J5gNOhh5zyDnNAU3OhfjppM-6Kg&usqp=CAU

 

[LizVegas79]

Walking backwards really should be an option

I can't walk backwards in those, silly. I'll fall down!

 

[LizVegas79]

"Doctor! Doctor! Gimme the news!"
I'll listen real hard although I'm drinkin' booze...

Dr. Liz's reputation proceeds her - and a hypothetical friend of mine has got a huge problem! Let's call him...Joe. I believe only Dr. Liz can help him, or else no one can!

Let's hypothetically say that my friend Joe has too large of a *cough cough* manhood for women to give him blowjobs. Hypothetically, almost every woman he's been with has remarked on it. He feels so unloved and so lonely, satisfying all these women with amazing oral sex yet never being satisfied himself.

What, oh whatever can he do about this horrifying situation Dr. Liz???

You're his only hope

https://encrypted-tbn0.***********/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTk8VpBn77J5gNOhh5zyDnNAU3OhfjppM-6Kg&usqp=CAU

Dear Friend Of Quite A Friend,

Well, the first thing you need to do is get this friend of yours Joe down to my clinic ASAFP so that I can personally see for myself how serious his "problem" is and come up with a plan for treating it.

Clearing my calendar!


- Doctor "Oh My Goodness, Hi There!" Liz

 

[HotBrand]

Dear Doctor Liz,

Writing as a long-time fan and student of your reputed branch of "Comprehensive Observational and Cognitive Knowledge" medicine.

I have three questions. If you ever have the time to address these, I would be delighted, as would my fellow students:

1) I heard you have a patented technique for measuring the pulse via the corpus cavernosum. Could you confirm whether this is 100% effective in confirming if blood flow can be detected in this way?

2) You have written theory that this technique might have applications in ascertaining rigor mortis. Would you be willing to confirm if stiffness of the body can be validated with application?

3) Finally, there has been rumour in the medical community that you have been campaigning for an increased important of role of hydration in medicine.

... it has been said that you believe patients can benefit from a combination of water and electrolytes in preparation for further treatment via oral application.

Have you found much success in leading patients to full recovery through your novel approach of "Thirst Aid"?

Yours sincerely,
(dick-tated but not read)
A Medical Student

 

[Gamine67]

Hey Doc.

Do you know how to clear space in your mailbox when it exceeds the storage limit?

I’m asking for a friend.

 

[LizVegas79]

Hey Doc.

Do you know how to clear space in your mailbox when it exceeds the storage limit?

I’m asking for a friend.

Dear Another Friend of a Friend,

Gosh, what don't people just write to me directly? Or is it that everyone has a personal assistant these days except me?

Yes, I do know how to clear space in my mailbox thank you very much. (I might be half Swedish but I'm not a blonde you know! ) The sitch is I have a lot of unread PM's. Trying to decide whether to just delete them all without reading them and apologize, or go get caught up on them.

Decisions, decisions ....

- Doctor "I Can't Decide Between The Purple Ones Or The Red Ones" Liz

 

[Jordan90]

Dear Friend Of Quite A Friend,

Well, the first thing you need to do is get this friend of yours Joe down to my clinic ASAFP so that I can personally see for myself how serious his "problem" is and come up with a plan for treating it.

Clearing my calendar!


- Doctor "Oh My Goodness, Hi There!" Liz

*BAM!!*

Oh dear. Dr. "Goodness", I hope I didn't splinter your office door too badly!

But surprise, there never was a friend named Joe...it was me all along! You saw right through me, didn't you?

*pulls down pants*

Alright, Doctor. How bad is it? How do I fix this horrible situation?!

Just give it to me! I can take it...

 

[Gamine67]

Dear Another Friend of a Friend,

Gosh, what don't people just write to me directly? Or is it that everyone has a personal assistant these days except me?

Yes, I do know how to clear space in my mailbox thank you very much. (I might be half Swedish but I'm not a blonde you know! ) The sitch is I have a lot of unread PM's. Trying to decide whether to just delete them all without reading them and apologize, or go get caught up on them.

Decisions, decisions ....

- Doctor "I Can't Decide Between The Purple Ones Or The Red Ones" Liz

My friend said “Vielen Dank” it’s that language thing or she would have just asked herself.

Looks like you have plenty of patients in the queue and I just found out I have a coffee date so au revoir chica

 

[LizVegas79]

Dear Doctor Liz,

Writing as a long-time fan and student of your reputed branch of "Comprehensive Observational and Cognitive Knowledge" medicine.

I have three questions. If you ever have the time to address these, I would be delighted, as would my fellow students:

1) I heard you have a patented technique for measuring the pulse via the corpus cavernosum. Could you confirm whether this is 100% effective in confirming if blood flow can be detected in this way?

2) You have written theory that this technique might have applications in ascertaining rigor mortis. Would you be willing to confirm if stiffness of the body can be validated with application?

3) Finally, there has been rumour in the medical community that you have been campaigning for an increased important of role of hydration in medicine.

... it has been said that you believe patients can benefit from a combination of water and electrolytes in preparation for further treatment via oral application.

Have you found much success in leading patients to full recovery through your novel approach of "Thirst Aid"?

Yours sincerely,
(dick-tated but not read)
A Medical Student

Dear Medical A-Student,

It's true, I have read lots of novels and based on that I have come up with many of my own research and behavioral tests and therapies. I found "50 Shades of Gray" to be particularly enlightening and I don't even look good in gray because it totally washes me out. I found "50 Shades of Pink" to be just as enlightening, but pink washes me out too. Unless I have an end of summer tan. Then light pink actually looks okay on mem but only indoors under fluorescent light, not outdoors in natural light.

"Naughty Minnesota Farmers Daughters" and "Her European Vacation" were two of my other favorite research novels.

Any-who, where was I?

Yes, I can measure a guy's pulse by holding his dick in my hand. Especially my left hand for some reason. It's probably a little softer because I don't use it as much and it's got my wedding ring on it and that really turns some guys on for some reason.

To your second point, yes, I can definitely confirm that guys almost always get hard when I hold their dick in my hand. (especially my left hand - see ref. above). If they don't, yes, nine times out of ten it turns out it's because they're dead. That's why I always demand to see a note from all my new patients cardiologists first before I begin giving them any therapy. A weak heart can really spoil the mood. "Oh my heart! Oh my heart!" Shut the fuck up. You haven't even seen my bill yet, am I right?

Lastly, don't believe any rumors you've heard about me in the medical community. They're all a bunch of bullshit. I met and individually consulted with as many fellow medical professionals as I could at the last conference but there comes a time when a girl just needs to call it a night and get her rest. I'm going to be 42 this year. I can't just roll out of bed and make the magic happen as quick as I could when I was younger. I need time to get ready in the morning!

What you see doesn't just happen by accident you know. Believe me, it takes work.

Yes, 100% of my patients have responded to my "Thirst Aid" approach as you put it. Except of course for the ones who have died (again, see ref. above). I get thirsty. They quench my thirst. They go home to their wives with a smile on their face. I wipe my chin and drive home in my new gold Lexus. Everyone's happy.


- Doctor "of Comprehensive Observational Cognitive Knowledge" Liz

 

[LizVegas79]

*BAM!!*

Oh dear. Dr. "Goodness", I hope I didn't splinter your office door too badly!

But surprise, there never was a friend named Joe...it was me all along! You saw right through me, didn't you?

*pulls down pants*

Alright, Doctor. How bad is it? How do I fix this horrible situation?!

Just give it to me! I can take it...

Dear Took The Words Right Out of My Mouth,


Oh, it's not that bad, sweetie. I've seen far, far "worse".

All you need is a tall, slender Latina doctor with a long pretty neck and a super suppressed gag reflex ... now give it to me, I can take it.

There! See?

It fits all the way down in with hardly any problem at all.

Oh? You want to see me do it again? My pleasure.


- Doctor "Those Are Tears of Joy Silly" Liz

 

[LizVegas79]

My friend said “Vielen Dank” it’s that language thing or she would have just asked herself.

Looks like you have plenty of patients in the queue and I just found out I have a coffee date so au revoir chica

Dear Coffee Cafe Goddess,

Don't do anyone I wouldn't do!


- Doctor "I Feel So Dirty When You Speak To Me In German" Liz

 

[LizVegas79]

"We made lots of progress today. I'm very proud of you. But I have to go now. TTTL."

 

[KinkyLaughs]

"We made lots of progress today. I'm very proud of you."

Damn. Wow. What I could do with her leg alone.