Ask Doctor Liz ... Again

[LizVegas79]

Well I do have a thing for Italian guys, so there's that also.

They're one of my many weaknesses too

 

[JerseyJade]

They're one of my many weaknesses too

You do have a lot of weaknesses, don't ya, Liz?

 

[LizVegas79]

You do have a lot of weaknesses, don't ya, Liz?

I could name 10 without thinking LOL

 

[Sinstories]

I could name 10 without thinking LOL

I suspect butter churns are 1...but that's just a guess

 

[JerseyJade]

I could name 10 without thinking LOL

Lol

I have a few myself actually.

 

[LizVegas79]

I suspect butter churns are 1...but that's just a guess

No, but after I hear the rest of that story I sure might!

Lol

I have a few myself actually.

No? You? I thought you were like virginal snow on some faraway mountain?

I mean, you know, virginal snow with an oral fixation for Italian guys ... and American guys and probably British guys, definitely Australian guys and Brazilian guys, probably even French guys and German guys, definitely Swedish guys, which means Norweigen guys and Finnish guys and Danish guys and probably Canadian guys too, but ... oh never mind ... who am I trying to kid?

Let's just say we both have "a few" weaknesses LOL

 

[LizVegas79]

note the " air quotes "

 

[JerseyJade]

No? You? I thought you were like virginal snow on some faraway mountain?

I mean, you know, virginal snow with an oral fixation for Italian guys ... and American guys and probably British guys, definitely Australian guys and Brazilian guys, probably even French guys and German guys, definitely Swedish guys, which means Norweigen guys and Finnish guys and Danish guys and probably Canadian guys too, but ... oh never mind ... who am I trying to kid?

Let's just say we both have "a few" weaknesses LOL

Lmao

Yeah, let's just leave it at that.

 

[investor2020]

Bonasera signore, come posso aiutarti?

 

[JerseyJade]

Dear Dr Liz,
Is there an extra discount if you’re a “one owner”? I’m “like new”. I have one virgin hole. Surely that’s worth a hefty discount with Vinny and the boys!
Thanks,
Scruffy City Blues

Lol

OMG! Too funny.

 

[LoveLiving]

So all your sweet words are just BS? That's soooooo disappointing.

"I thought you were going to make a new friend today kitty.
But apparently he just wants to sell us some real estate."


- Doctor "Woo Me Better" Liz

Yes, another lot sold.

 

[JerseyJade]

Thought you might appreciate this bedtime story, Liz.

 

[LizVegas79]

Thought you might appreciate this bedtime story, Liz.

Dang, it says I have too many YouTube requests. I'll turn off my music and try again later.

Yes, another lot sold.

Don't worry. My kitty won't be lonely for very long. I sort of can't keep my hands off of her.

Bonasera signore, come posso aiutarti?

Well let's see. You could wash my car for me.

 

[LizVegas79]

Dear Dr Liz,
Is there an extra discount if you’re a “one owner”? I’m “like new”. I have one virgin hole. Surely that’s worth a hefty discount with Vinny and the boys!
Thanks,
Scruffy City Blues

Dear One Virgin Left,

There is a HUGE discount for one owner's with one virgin hole left!

I bet if I put you up for auction with the right crowd on a Saturday night in a penthouse suite here in Las Vegas we could both do very, very well.

I'll need my standard 25% handling fee of course though if that's okay. And of course, since it's my stellar 5-star reputation on the line I will have to inspect the merchandise in advance because, well, that's just how I like to do business business


- Doctor "Private Auction This Saturday" Liz

 

[investor2020]

Dear Dr. "lover of Native American traditions" Liz -

I am so happy that we have decided to "bury the hatchet" on our recent misunderstanding. And I do so look forward to our upcoming "tanning of the hides" session in the Demerit Room.

If you can find the proper ingredients (which I am sure you can because of your medical experience ), I might even try sharing a "pipe" (but I don't inhale. )

Signed,

Your "Willing to Share New Experiences" client/patient/contractor

 

[Sinstories]

Now, regarding your neighbor. That is a somewhat delicate situation. With all those lights we're going to need an alibi for you. So again, I want to extend that invitation to swing by my offices tomorrow evening after we close. Bring your jammies and favorite dildo as we will spend the night together getting to know each other better and covering each other asses Saturday morning when the po-po show up.

So, here's the plan. I know this guy Vinny. He owes me several favors for favors that I have done for him in the past (not important, but you can probably guess that they involved certain physical therapy that was mutually, you could even say simultaneously, beneficial for the both of us).

Any-whos, him and his brother and a few of their friends all fucking love me. They literally worship the ground I walk on. (I have the cum stains on several of my shoes to prove it too). So, while you and I are mixing drinks and diving into each other's ... pasts ... Vinny and his brother and their friends will visit your neighbor's garage and make sure that his ladder meets county building code regulations.

As is often the case with these types of totally legal, don't ask, don't tell inspections, they will probably discover that some of the bolts on the ladder are non-regulation so they will naturally confiscate those bolts for safety concerns.

Unfortunately, Vinny and his brother and their friends are very busy guys. They may not have time to notify your neighbor of the confiscated bolts and in their haste to get to their next "job" on time, some of your neighbor's lights may accidentally get pulled down as they leave.

If, on the off chance your neighbor decides to put those pulled down lights back up before the notice comes in the mail about his confiscated bolts, or if the notice in the mail happens to get lost, well, then, heck, your family will just have to add "The Neighbor's Ladder Incident" to your family's amazing legacy.


- Doctor "I'll Cover Your Ass If You Uncover Mine" Liz

Dear Dr Liz

Always been a big fan of yours, but I am concerned that this has not received the level of attention necessary. The Griswold wanna-be's next door have already begun and the local nuclear power station has begun to push the rods further into the box in order to increase the flow of liquid and thus ramp up the power to support this hell on earth. My biggest concern is that I overheard the misses talking about a butter churn being added to the display this year. You can imagine the terror flashbacks that ensued from overhearing that given the family history. They also were making room in the driveway for someone they call cousin Eddy, not sure what that's all about but it can't be good.

I guess I'm looking for an update and maybe a way to get moved up on the list. Maybe Jade and or Bambi could step in and entice your friends to move this up on the schedule.

Oh, and by the way, while we're at it. Any recommendations for how to ensure a turkey comes out golden and moist on Thanksgiving. I've always been told butter is the answer, but that creates a level of panic I just can't handle around the Holidays.

Looking forward to your assistance.

Sincerely
Blinded by the holiday joy

 

[LizVegas79]

Dear Dr Liz

Always been a big fan of yours, but I am concerned that this has not received the level of attention necessary. The Griswold wanna-be's next door have already begun and the local nuclear power station has begun to push the rods further into the box in order to increase the flow of liquid and thus ramp up the power to support this hell on earth. My biggest concern is that I overheard the misses talking about a butter churn being added to the display this year. You can imagine the terror flashbacks that ensued from overhearing that given the family history. They also were making room in the driveway for someone they call cousin Eddy, not sure what that's all about but it can't be good.

I guess I'm looking for an update and maybe a way to get moved up on the list. Maybe Jade and or Bambi could step in and entice your friends to move this up on the schedule.

Oh, and by the way, while we're at it. Any recommendations for how to ensure a turkey comes out golden and moist on Thanksgiving. I've always been told butter is the answer, but that creates a level of panic I just can't handle around the Holidays.

Looking forward to your assistance.

Sincerely
Blinded by the holiday joy

Dear Blinded,

Lucky you that you live close to a nuclear power plant! I bet picking up hitchhikers around where you live spells, fun, fun, fun because there's always a protest, or rally, or music festival, or orgy in a field going on, right?

I've always loved scruffy guys in Neru shirts. They usually have the best weed and know how to play a guitar and have a friend that plays the bongos who's into threeways. As a bi-sexual, I also very much appreciate those beautiful, sun-kissed, free-spirited, braless hippie girls with long blonde, blue and green hair and skimpy little sundresses who bake special brownies and share their mushrooms and dance in circles till they drop and have names like Promise, and Joy and Starr with 2-r's.

Although, I like them best when they bathe regularly and shave their legs. I guess you could say that makes me a liberated sexist. But still, having a nuclear power plant nearby no doubt keeps you entertained and sexually satisfied with multiple different partners always right at your doorstep, or, maybe even camping in your own front yard.

I wish I lived near a nuclear power plant. All we have out here is an abundance of rooftop solar. We haven't had a decent music festival or orgy in a field here in years.

Consider yourself moved up on the list!

Oh! And the best way to guarantee a moist turkey is to use an oven bag. They work like a charm and are easy AF to use - and this is coming from someone who doesn't particularly enjoy cooking so I know what I'm talking about (as is the case with most things )


- Doctor "Let's Tap the Brakes on the Grateful Dead Music Please" Liz lol

 

[LizVegas79]

Dear Dr "let me hear your auctioneer voice"
Of course, sounds great! Should I bend over and cough now?
- Ms Bent over and pent up

Dear Ms Bent Over And Pent Up,

No, the CDC has issued new guidance for that because of Covid.

I'm going to need you to make a couple of snow angels over on my bed while I attach these handcuffs and ankle restraints to you so that you're presentable to the bidders.

You can keep that cute little chemise on though. It's skimpy and made of silk and I'm sure it will rip right off once the bidding heats up.


- Doctor "Let's Start The Bidding At Twenty Dollars To Attract Buyers" Liz

 

[Sinstories]

Dear Blinded,

Lucky you that you live close to a nuclear power plant! I bet picking up hitchhikers around where you live spells, fun, fun, fun because there's always a protest, or rally, or music festival, or orgy in a field going on, right?

I've always loved scruffy guys in Neru shirts. They usually have the best weed and know how to play a guitar and have a friend that plays the bongos who's into threeways. As a bi-sexual, I also very much appreciate those beautiful, sun-kissed, free-spirited, braless hippie girls with long blonde, blue and green hair and skimpy little sundresses who bake special brownies and share their mushrooms and dance in circles till they drop and have names like Promise, and Joy and Starr with 2-r's.

Although, I like them best when they bathe regularly and shave their legs. I guess you could say that makes me a liberated sexist. But still, having a nuclear power plant nearby no doubt keeps you entertained and sexually satisfied with multiple different partners always right at your doorstep, or, maybe even camping in your own front yard.

I wish I lived near a nuclear power plant. All we have out here is an abundance of rooftop solar. We haven't had a decent music festival or orgy in a field here in years.

Consider yourself moved up on the list!

Oh! And the best way to guarantee a moist turkey is to use an oven bag. They work like a charm and are easy AF to use - and this is coming from someone who doesn't particularly enjoy cooking so I know what I'm talking about (as is the case with most things )


- Doctor "Let's Tap the Brakes on the Grateful Dead Music Please" Liz lol

Dear Dr Liz

I am going to have to start call into question your medical credentials here. I am here, paying good litcoin for services and all you can think of is braless hippy chicks protesting nuclear power plants? I mean I can't disagree that chicks with a morally casual attitude and less than stellar hygiene can be a turn on sometimes. There was that time in Berkley at a Butter Churn expo in 78 that... oh wait...where was I. Yes, my problem with the Griswold wanna be's next door. If I don't see some action soon, I may have to call the Las Vegas medical board and inquire about the status of your medical license.

Oh and btw...thanks for the turkey advice, I'll give that a try.

Sincerely

Fond of hair armpits and tie dyes

 

[JerseyJade]

Dear Dr Liz

I am going to have to start call into question your medical credentials here. I am here, paying good litcoin for services and all you can think of is braless hippy chicks protesting nuclear power plants? I mean I can't disagree that chicks with a morally casual attitude and less than stellar hygiene can be a turn on sometimes. There was that time in Berkley at a Butter Churn expo in 78 that... oh wait...where was I. Yes, my problem with the Griswold wanna be's next door. If I don't see some action soon, I may have to call the Las Vegas medical board and inquire about the status of your medical license.

Oh and btw...thanks for the turkey advice, I'll give that a try.

Sincerely

Fond of hair armpits and tie dyes

Hey! How dare you question Liz's credentials. I'll have you know she paid good money to have someone make that certificate for her that she has hanging in her office. As a matter of fact, she had to travel over 100 miles to the Las Vegas Prison to pick it up. You better watch out mister! I have my eye on you!

 

[LizVegas79]

Hey! How dare you question Liz's credentials. I'll have you know she paid good money to have someone make that certificate for her that she has hanging in her office. As a matter of fact, she had to travel over 100 miles to the Las Vegas Prison to pick it up. You better watch out mister! I have my eye on you!

Thanks for having my back JJ!

Actually I just had to pop over to Pahrump so it wasn't that far.

But I'm very proud of my certificate from Stamford University that's hanging behind my desk! .

Everyone has to pay for their education one way or another!

 

[LizVegas79]

Dear Dr Liz

I am going to have to start call into question your medical credentials here. I am here, paying good litcoin for services and all you can think of is braless hippy chicks protesting nuclear power plants? I mean I can't disagree that chicks with a morally casual attitude and less than stellar hygiene can be a turn on sometimes. There was that time in Berkley at a Butter Churn expo in 78 that... oh wait...where was I. Yes, my problem with the Griswold wanna be's next door. If I don't see some action soon, I may have to call the Las Vegas medical board and inquire about the status of your medical license.

Oh and btw...thanks for the turkey advice, I'll give that a try.

Sincerely

Fond of hair armpits and tie dyes

Look Hippie Lover,

If anyone's going to be calling anyone it's going to be me calling Vinny and his brother and their friends to maybe pay you a visit instead of the Griswalds. I hear if you accidentally attach a jet engine to a butter churner, well ... it doesn't have to get ugly unless you want it to.

Say your sorry and I won't drop a dime on your ass as they use to say in old movies.

Plus, my friends at the Las Vegas Medical Board love me. I'm always happy to tell them where they can pick up a live cadaver if they need one so like JJ said, watch it buddy!


- Doctor "I Know Guys Who Know Guys You Don't Wanna Know" Liz
PhD, Magnums Make Me Cum Loudly,
Stamford University, USA of America 10001

 

[LizVegas79]

Dear Doctor "Obviously Thinks I'm a Cheap Ho",
I'm going to have to trust you on the starting bid because I'm sure you don't want to walk away with just $5. In the past, how much has one night with the ho gone for?

- Ho with bad memory who doesn't remember what advice I was initially seeking but is now terrified that I'll sell for less than new George Foreman grill

Dear Terrified,

No, I don't think that at all.

I just didn't want anyone to feel like they would be priced out of the auction so I figured start the opening bid low so that everyone could feel like they had a shot at being the winning bidder. I figured the bigger the audience, the more chance the bidding will go thru the roof.

Although, to be honest I don't need the money. I'm just doing this as a favor for some of my husband's single friends. They're all really nice, I promise.

btw, what if there's a tie in the bidding? Like, maybe for instance three or four of my husband's friends each bids two or three hundred dollars? Then we'd be talking somewhere between $600 and $1200. How does that sound?

(Again, I promise they are all really nice!)


- Doctor "Ulterior Motives Are My Specialty" Liz

 

[HotBrand]

Just checking in while I find my Lit bearings again.

Hiiiiii.

 

[LizVegas79]

Dear Doctor "Your Ulterior Motives also Terrify Me" Liz,

So.... a gangbang? Maybe we should do a raffle instead as I'm not sure how 3-4 men could ALL take my virgin ass at the same time.

- Deeply concerned about how much you wanna stretch me

Dear Concerned,

Hmm, perhaps we should backup a little bit since this will be your first time agreeing to your most private place.

Okay, one well-attended auction, but ONLY ONE winner bidder. How does that sound?

So ... how do you feel about cameras and how much do you know about copyright law?


- Doctor "Pushing Boundaries Is Sort Of My Thing" Liz