I forgot that bit he just just looks at me like a cute little puppy...
)
Do you want to suck too just to be liked? This impulse to be liked and to fit in is a big reason why our world, especially "America" is torn apart at the seams right now.
When good people accept and concede whatever they have to in order to fit in with people who suck, our world goes to shit in a hurry. (like it is now)
Those of us who DON'T suck have to stop engaging with or conceding to those people who do. That's the only power we/you have. It's your choice whether you want to suck too, or not. People need their groups. Some people need to be with people exactly like them. You don't have to be liked by everyone. It's not only not realistic, it's unhealthy because it means you're bending and forgiving too much.
Be the best you.
Not the worst them.
- Doctor "Some People Hate Me, Some People Love Me" Liz
Oh dear Doctor should have mentioned my pet is a grown man!
Wait a sec. Men like me when I suck. Are you saying I should stop sucking????
Thank God. You scared me for a sec.
Dear Unwelcomed,
Sadly, Lit is still somewhat on the fringes of the wild, wild west of the internet due to it's somewhat discretionary content. Unlike morally and ethically superior, community-over-profit bastions of the tech world like Facebook and Google, Lit has no profit motive and thus, far, far fewer rules or guardrails for good, all-inclusive, non-discriminatory behavior.
That said, I take it you have experienced being on the wrong side of some of these rules on some of the LGBQT threads because you are a white, heterosexual man. You guys always have it rough and I'm afraid it's no different here.
I suspect some of your comments have been unwelcomed not necessarily because of the content of those messages, but merely because of who the messenger is (you). Although I don't really understand your baboon or beating on the chest metaphors, I suspect you are not wrong in your territorial "possession" analysis.
Many of these "alpha females" as you describe them are indeed man-haters. I see them everyday where I work and I have to work alongside and with them in this our heterosexual world. I grant you they are not pleasant to be around. All they do is complain about how misunderstood and abused they are when they themselves are guilty of equal and often even worse discriminatory, sexual, judgmental behavior. Simply put, the most egregious of them are desperately lonely, raving, mad-at-the-world, subconsciously self-loathing hypocrites (or in medical terms, DLRMATWSSLH'ers). Ironically, they are just like many of the rando jerks who send me dick pics. Being judged for what you are rather than who you are sucks on every level, whether it's hetero or LGBQT.
My advice is to stop stepping in the mud. Stop poking the beast. Avoid engagement. Find your tribe rather than trying to insert yourself into a tribe where you not part of the demographic.
Fitting in every where and with everyone is vastly over-rated.
People are different. Honestly, a lot of them suck. Trying to fit in with everyone means you are trying to fit in with people who suck. What does that say about you?
Do you want to suck too just to be liked? This impulse to be liked and to fit in is a big reason why our world, especially "America" is torn apart at the seams right now.
When good people accept and concede whatever they have to in order to fit in with people who suck, our world goes to shit in a hurry. (like it is now)
Those of us who DON'T suck have to stop engaging with or conceding to those people who do. That's the only power we/you have. It's your choice whether you want to suck too, or not. People need their groups. Some people need to be with people exactly like them. You don't have to be liked by everyone. It's not only not realistic, it's unhealthy because it means you're bending and forgiving too much.
Be the best you.
Not the worst them.
- Doctor "Some People Hate Me, Some People Love Me" Liz
Well, as I probably should have made clear, I didn't go looking for nor did I read any of your posts on any of those LGBQT threads. I'm not even sure which threads you are talking about. You have always been polite and friendly without being pushy or rude with me and I see no reason to assume you would be any different on any of "those" threads. If I'm wrong about that, then this rest of this is just talking out of my ass I guess. (honestly I don't want to get involved, get into a debate or take any side!)
On the surface I agree that it sounds like you are being discriminated against.
But you're asking for it by breaking their stated rules for their threads so to me any guilt or blame is shared 50/50 imho.
I disagree however that it's not about being accepted or liked. Or, at the very least, judged to be "right". Most people like to be liked. Most people enjoy being right. How much effort and emphasis we as individuals commit to either of those endeavors is our own choice but we should always keep in mind that we are all, at the end of the day and in the beginning of every day, only human (well, most of us anyways).
The plain, easy to understand, but hard to accept fact, is that because we are human we will NEVER always be liked by everyone or always be right about everything. None of us. No matter which side of hetero/non-hetero spectrum we're on.
We all do have some control of our own happiness though. As a bi woman I appreciate many of the posts and comments on the various LGBQT threads on here but I know I have a different reaction or viewpoint to them than hardcore "true" lesbians or hetero or gay men. So I temper my comments. Often I just observe and appreciate but don't comment at all because I know the militant lesbians won't understand the love and relationship I have with my husband and the hetero guys will just chime in with their horny dog words of encouragement as they "picture" me with whoever doing whatever. So why bother? What's in it for me, right?
You know who you are. Why put yourself in a position of ridicule? Even if you want the world to know that you're right, isn't it fair to say in this case at least that women who would like to have a little corner of the internet for themselves to appreciate and share with other women who think and feel like they do isn't wrong?
Isn't the freedom to be different the ultimate freedom?
You aren't hurting them with your comments (probably) but they feel an injustice. They aren't hurting you (really) for trying to exclude you from a group you are physically and emotionally unable to relate to but you feel an injustice. The easy, simple solution is to just accept it and move on.
I have the same problem with super hot, super buff gay guys. I'm absolutely invisible to them and some of them truly, truly hate me for no fucking reason at all! Except when they want to know where I got a particular blouse or pair of shoes. Then I'm their temporary "girlfriend" for a hot minute but then after I tell them I'm yesterday's old news again.
I've learned to deal with it sweetie. So can you.
Oh well in that case, don't ever hesitate to arch that honey chocolate back of yours, or let him pin your ankles above your head and enjoy, enjoy, ENJOY!!!!
Isn't it such a wonderful feeling?
I always feel so naughty, but oh-sooooo loved, loved, loved woman whenever my pet does that to me. I absolutely quiver with ecstasy every single time, don't you?
It's true, it's up to responsible pet owners like us to keep our crazy, wild, loveable animals to ourselves so that they're not a threat to our communities.
Plus, they do look cute wearing their little leashes and being told what to do, don't they?
Of course, there's often a wonderful price to pay for allowing such naughty behavior. But fortunately by then I'm usually all lubbed and loosened up back there and my mild to moderate protests are just a kinky formality for what comes next
I'm ready to help the next patient.
I'm ready to help the next patient.
Dear Worried About Silly Things,
For instance, did you know that you've never been properly kissed until you've been kissed by another woman? I promise you'll be amazed, and probably feeling a little dizzy, afterwards.
- Doctor "Let Me Expand Your Horizons" Liz
"Yes. You are definitely fucked up. But we're all a little fucked up so don't worry about it.
The good news is I can help you. The bad news is you're going to have to be completely,
or at least somewhat honest with me. So relax. Take a deep breath. What's on your mind?
Why did you come to see me? I promise I'll be gentle. At first, at least."
) kink. Their catalogue looks great. Or at least it did the last time I saw one, but I recommend even avoiding it because you will only be tempted to buy something and ultimately end up disappointed with what comes in the mail.
Doctor Liz,
I've known that since I was 13. Still get a little dizzy sometimes!
Brain "Tongues should be Wrestled with, Not Eaten" Teez
