Ask the Demon

[SexyCleric]

You see, it's not really the quality of the soul before the deal that counts, and not necessarily the quality after, but it's the work that we put into them that makes them so juicy and tasty.

Ah, but then what of faith?
In one's self, higher powers, or what have you?

 

[VandalHeart]

what do i do about some people who get jealous or hurt over time they think i should be spending on them on here when i don't even have enough time to do my own stuff? i like the people, but i can't handle the weight they put on me...

Let me start by saying that I know exactly how you feel. And if it's not here, then it's somewhere else. Another forum board, an online game, who knows, it could be anything. Been there, done that.

Now for the advice. And I keep having to give this particular piece of advice out lately, so I dunno what is going on with people.

You, my dear, need to develope a terminal case of the "Fuck its." Now, what I mean by this, is sometimes you need to get rude with people to get the point across that there are other aspects to your life than them, but to do so is...well...rude. That's okay. It may be a design flaw, but that's the design, so if you don't follow procedure, you're going to get the short end of the stick every time. Next time the offender(s) in question bugs you for not having been there when it was convenient (keep in mind, that this is what it boils down to - convenience...and NOT yours, by the way), you need to look at your options.

Option A. - pussyfoot around for the thousandth time and tell them you'll try to make more time for them in the future. The problem with this option is it is literally the social equivalent of putting makeup on an open wound. It's not even a band-aid. Band-aids at least protect the problem so that it can heal. The makeup covers the wound - BADLY - and it will only facilitate infection. You tell the person that they'll get more of your time later, they'll bitch because they didn't have it when they wanted it, and you still haven't gotten the message across that you are not here for their entertainment and convenience (and by the way, if you are, meaning that you are a slave or submissive, then you need to tell me, because this entire rant is going to go in a whole new direction).

Option B. - whine about how there's only so much of you to go around and they're just going to have to be happy with what they get. While this gets the message across, it utterly fails to hammer it home in anything that approaches an effective manner. The type of person that refuses to comprehend that you have a life will feel momentarily guilty about being selfish right before they go right back to being selfish again. Which brings us to...

Option C. - TCFI or Terminal Case of the Fuck Its. View you message from this person, take a deep breath, review the first two options, think about what they will get you in the long run, and then, in a clear voice, say to your computer screen, "You know what? FUCK IT." I hereby grant you full permission to copy/paste the following rant into the message you write to the person in question in response to their juvenile behavior, and authorize you to alter it in any way you see fit:

"Look, asshole, I understand that you want me here, and that you have next to no life outside of this website, but I have bills and family, both of which need tending to, which also means that I have to do my job. Now, if I didn't value you as a friend, I wouldn't even be sending this message - you'd just be blocked outright - but you need to take someone else's needs into account besides your own, and if you insist on putting me through this guilt trip every time I sign on, then I won't do it anymore. Now, grow up, and let's enjoy the time we do have instead of wasting it on childish arguements that won't solve anything."

This is how you get assholes to grow up or go away. And now, a much simpler and possibly more effective version, from Uncle Robert:

Do not confuse "duty" with what other people expect of you; they are utterly different. Duty is a debt you owe to yourself to fulfill obligations you have assumed voluntarily. Paying that debt can entail anything from years of patient work to instant willingness to die. Difficult it may be, but the reward is self-respect. But there is no reward at all for doing what other people expect of you, and to do so is not merely difficult, but impossible. It is easier to deal with a footpad than it is with the leech who wants "just a few minutes of your time, please — this won't take long." Time is your total capital, and the minutes of your life are painfully few. If you allow yourself to fall into the vice of agreeing to such requests, they quickly snowball to the point where these parasites will use up 100 percent of your time — and squawk for more! So learn to say No — and to be rude about it when necessary. Otherwise you will not have time to carry out your duty, or to do your own work, and certainly no time for love and happiness. The termites will nibble away your life and leave none of it for you. (This rule does not mean that you must not do a favor for a friend, or even a stranger. But let the choice be yours. Don't do it because it is "expected" of you.) --Robert A. Heinlein

 

[VandalHeart]

Ah, but then what of faith?
In one's self, higher powers, or what have you?

Contrary to popular belief, even faith has a basis in evidence.

Most people's faith is based in their own inability to adequately deal with the world around them, which gives rise to bigoted dogmas and exclusionist philosophies. The Christian God wasn't a homophobe until homophobes gained control of the church. (NOTE: I'm not saying that the Christian God is or isn't a homophobe, but for the record, don't even think about telling me one way or the other, because you don't fucking know, either Fred Phelps. And for the record, everyone who thinks they know what the current rules are, no, you don't. The rules are always in a constant state of flux because PEOPLE are in a constant state of flux. I do know this much, though: if you run a scam to cheat people out of their money, you have no right at all telling people how any deity outside of a thief god thinks Jerry Falwell. The only thing you can do is hold true to your own beliefs, no matter where you heard them first. Religion is something that you've known all of your life that you just happened to read somewhere else.)

Some people's faith is based on outright fear. This is a nice little mental trick that the mind does: I'm scared of that, but I'm not flimsy, so there must be something big out there looking out for me. Now, this doesn't always come through in the form of a religion, but people with this kind of faith are reticent about their world-view, no matter how childish, inane, or outright stupid that view may be Apartheid, Ku Klux Klan, Nazis, NAACP...yeah I said it, bring it on, motherfucker.

There are a prescious few that base their faith in what it was meant to be based in: trust. But those rare and wonderous few have a lot going against them. Firstly, the world we live in doesn't exactly cultivate trust, in case you hadn't noticed. Maintaining that kind of innocence is nearly impossible. And don't get me wrong, innocence is NOT a lack of knowledge or avoidance of wrong-doing, but rather a blissfully positive view of the world, and it is possible to have screwed up and still be innocent. It's all about perspective and outlook, but again...not easy. Secondly, those first two groups of the "faithful" usually don't take very kindly to this group Joan of Arc, Mahatma Ghandi, Tenzin Gyatso, Jesus of Nazareth. For whatever reason, this group of the faithful either piss off or frighten the first two groups of the "faithful," and so measures are usually implemented to suppress them. Whaich leads us to the third reason there aren't many: they're simply outnumbered, and when it comes to matters of the soul, everyone is out for blood, there are no prisoners, and this is war.

In essence, my cleric friend, true faith is quite a powerful spice to us demons, however, it is rarer than naturally occuring 5-ton deposits of platinum in easy to count and carry forged bar form, and infinitely more valuable.

 

[somberReality]

Wow....

Hmmmm *ponders pming this guy*

 

[SexyCleric]

Wow....

Hmmmm *ponders pming this guy*

He's really deep.
And, word has it, has a great singing voice.

 

[somberReality]

He's really deep.
And, word has it, has a great singing voice.

Ohhhhh is this true?????

 

[SexyCleric]

Ohhhhh is this true?????

Psh, of course!

He's a demon, and they're usually pretty forward about this sort of stuff!

Hell, he even gave me a hot dog for my soul.
All dressed up too...

Good guy.

 

[VandalHeart]

Good guy.

HEY!!! Don't ruin my image.

 

[littleone77]

Psh, of course!

He's a demon, and they're usually pretty forward about this sort of stuff!

Hell, he even gave me a hot dog for my soul.
All dressed up too...

Good guy.

Hey *hands on hips*

I gave you that hotdog dressed.

And for the record, the Demon is a good guy. He is a sweetie of the best kind.

 

[VandalHeart]

Hey *hands on hips*

I gave you that hotdog dressed.

And for the record, the Demon is a good guy. He is a sweetie of the best kind.

You guys are bound and determined to make me look like a nice guy, aren't you?

 

[littleone77]

You guys are bound and determined to make me look like a nice guy, aren't you?

Mabbeee *giggles* I just call 'em like I see 'em.

And, you were suppose to be asleep there Demon.

Even sweetheart Demons need their rest.

 

[VandalHeart]

Mabbeee *giggles* I just call 'em like I see 'em.

And, you were suppose to be asleep there Demon.

Even sweetheart Demons need their rest.

Addictive personality, what can I say?

 

[SexyCleric]

That is not dead which can eternal lie.
And with strange aeons even death may die.

So, where's everybody's favorite demon gone to?

 

[VandalHeart]

I've been right here, waiting for someone to ask another question.

Thanks for answering the silent call, Cleric.

 

[Lady Reiha]

I've been right here, waiting for someone to ask another question.

Thanks for answering the silent call, Cleric.

dear vandypoo!



A little birdie told me that apprently Microbiology dislikes me. Did I do something to her to upset her? ( I'm pretty dense at times) if so, how can I make things better me and her?

 

[VandalHeart]

dear vandypoo!



A little birdie told me that apprently Microbiology dislikes me. Did I do something to her to upset her? ( I'm pretty dense at times) if so, how can I make things better me and her?

My dearest and most wonderful ReiRei,

Micro does not dislike you. It's complicated, but to make a long story short, Micro isn't used to people quite as bubbly and off the wall as you, at least not over the internet. My best advice is just to keep on being yourself while remaining as nice as you can to her. I don't want to explain too much about our prescious Micro becasue it's really not my place to do so. I would suggest talking to her. I will say this much, however: Micro isn't used to a lot of different kinds of people. Just be patient, and things will be fine.

 

[Lady Reiha]

My dearest and most wonderful ReiRei,

Micro does not dislike you. It's complicated, but to make a long story short, Micro isn't used to people quite as bubbly and off the wall as you, at least not over the internet. My best advice is just to keep on being yourself while remaining as nice as you can to her. I don't want to explain too much about our prescious Micro becasue it's really not my place to do so. I would suggest talking to her. I will say this much, however: Micro isn't used to a lot of different kinds of people. Just be patient, and things will be fine.

I shall- thank you Vandy!

^____________^

 

[VandalHeart]

I shall- thank you Vandy!

^____________^

Not a problem, love.

 

[nichele27]

Dear Demon,


It has been bugging me. Why do they always ask how many licks to the center of a tootsie pop and not how many to the center of a blow pop? And with that how many is it to the center of each? And does the number of licks vary per flavor?

-nichele

 

[Lady Reiha]

another question:




why am I constantly tired all the time?

 

[SexyCleric]

Dear Demon,


It has been bugging me. Why do they always ask how many licks to the center of a tootsie pop and not how many to the center of a blow pop? And with that how many is it to the center of each? And does the number of licks vary per flavor?

-nichele

If we started to count the number of licks to the center of a blowpop, we'd have too much fun making jokes, and everyone would lose count.

 

[VandalHeart]

Dear Demon,


It has been bugging me. Why do they always ask how many licks to the center of a tootsie pop and not how many to the center of a blow pop? And with that how many is it to the center of each? And does the number of licks vary per flavor?

-nichele

For once, I am actually going to have to answer these out of order.

In the words of www.despair.com, there are no stupid questions, but there are a lot of inquisitive idiots, and with your question about why people keep asking that same question, you have pointed this fact out. The people who keep asking that question are inquisitive idiots, because nobody really cares how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop, and by extention of that, nobody cares about how many it takes to get to the center of a Blow Pop...or a Baby Bottle Pop, or a Ring Pop, etc. The only difference between a Tootsie Roll Pop and all the others is that there's something special in the middle. It's the Twinkie of candy suckers. Besides, it was just a marketing campaign.

Now, skipping the question that nobody cares about, I'll answer the last one and in doing so, explain why I'm not going to answer it.

Flavor, shape, and flaws during manufacturing will cause a different amount of licks to be required to hit the center. Also, people lick differently. Take a guy with a mouth the size of an inside-out softball. This guy's gonna lick off at least five layers of hardened candy with a single pass on the tongue, whereas a small, dainty, little cocksucker is going to peel off any number of them, because he/she has a small mouth, but there is skill and focus to consider...as well as the level of oral fixation.

On a seperate note, never stop asking questions, because the precise method/equation for determining the answer to the how many licks question might just come in useful to someone someday.

 

[VandalHeart]

another question:

why am I constantly tired all the time?

Because you burn energy like the sun, darlin'...you just don't have the storage capacity of the giant yellow ball. I'm assuming that you've already been to the doctor to ask about this, and if you haven't, then you need to, but past that, just take the rest you need and eat well.

On the other hand, you might just be getting old. Nothing wrong with it, but these things happen. If it makes you feel any better (unlikely, but possibly), I'm 26 and have been slowly losing my hair for almost eight years now.

 

[VandalHeart]

If we started to count the number of licks to the center of a blowpop, we'd have too much fun making jokes, and everyone would lose count.

The man has a point.

 

[Lady Reiha]

Because you burn energy like the sun, darlin'...you just don't have the storage capacity of the giant yellow ball. I'm assuming that you've already been to the doctor to ask about this, and if you haven't, then you need to, but past that, just take the rest you need and eat well.

On the other hand, you might just be getting old. Nothing wrong with it, but these things happen. If it makes you feel any better (unlikely, but possibly), I'm 26 and have been slowly losing my hair for almost eight years now.

it helps, but, I don't get it. I personally think it was from when I went on Depo-Provera 4 years ago. I ended up gaining 30 pounds, becoming depressed.. and other things. Do you think this could of caused it?