Ask the Demon

[HotFaerieMama]

Dear.. Demon... why do some people think that if they end up not being able to have sex or end up going without that they'll die/go crazy/combust ? do they not realize that its not like they're bodys will freak out and turn on itself....

 

[VandalHeart]

Dear.. Demon... why do some people think that if they end up not being able to have sex or end up going without that they'll die/go crazy/combust ? do they not realize that its not like they're bodys will freak out and turn on itself....

It's a psychological thing, kiddo. When people get used to having a lot of sex very often, it gets kind of addicting. And while you are right that their bodies will not turn on themselves, their minds trick them into thinking they will. The mind is a powerful organ, and it will overpower all of the other ones to get what it wants. It has to. That's it's job. Unfortunately, sometimes people think they need something that they really don't need, and when that person who is used to getting fucked well and often starts going without, they go a little nuts. In my experience, it seems to happen to women a lot more than men, at least in the, "OH MY GOD I NEED TO GET LAID OR I WILL GO NUTS RIGHT NOW" department, but that may be just a byproduct of guys being to proud to admit that they haven't been getting sex. Who knows?

Of course, if a lack of sex really could kill someone, that would make things SO much more interesting.

 

[HotFaerieMama]

Dear Demon.. is there anyway to remove bite marks from a steering wheel?

 

[SexyCleric]

Dear Demon.. is there anyway to remove bite marks from a steering wheel?

THAT has to have a story attached.

 

[Lady Reiha]

Dear Vandy:


So my cat, Megatron is not allowed in my room mate's room but with every chance he gets, he goes in. We try telling him "no", shake our hands and make scary noises at him and he'll run away for the time being, only to come back in like 2-3 minutes. My room mate is sick of keeping his door closed so he refuses to do so anymore.

Is there anyway to stop him from entering the room? ( I would like my cat to be alive, so killing him isn't an option)


** The reason why he isn't allowed in is because he loves to do his business in my room mate's plant. We had some trouble with him peeing on things before, but it seems that the only place he likes to go now (other than his litter box) is in that plant.**

 

[VandalHeart]

Dear Demon.. is there anyway to remove bite marks from a steering wheel?

Depends on the material. If it's made of something you can find in the hardware stores in a jar with a brush on it, like plastic or somesuch, just fill it in and lightly paint over it. Even if the wheel isn't a material like that, you could probably do so, but any kind of light color is going to be hard to cover up, and even if it's a dark color, it won't be much better.

If it's a leather wrapped steering wheel, like in luxury cars, forget about it, just buy a steering wheel cover and be done with it.

And no, I'm not going to ask how they got there. Don't really want to know.

Feel free to PM Cleric the rest of the story, though.

 

[SexyCleric]

And no, I'm not going to ask how they got there. Don't really want to know.

Feel free to PM Cleric the rest of the story, though.

How can you not want to know?

Have you no thirst for truth?

 

[VandalHeart]

Dear Vandy:


So my cat, Megatron is not allowed in my room mate's room but with every chance he gets, he goes in. We try telling him "no", shake our hands and make scary noises at him and he'll run away for the time being, only to come back in like 2-3 minutes. My room mate is sick of keeping his door closed so he refuses to do so anymore.

Is there anyway to stop him from entering the room? ( I would like my cat to be alive, so killing him isn't an option)


** The reason why he isn't allowed in is because he loves to do his business in my room mate's plant. We had some trouble with him peeing on things before, but it seems that the only place he likes to go now (other than his litter box) is in that plant.**

Okay, basically, this is a "deal with it" situation. If he doesn't like the plant being used as a catbox, then he needs to put it somewhere the cat can't get to it. If he doesn't like the cat in his room, he needs to close the door. If he doesn't like the door being closed, he needs to deal with the cat. Plain and simple.

All that being said...take this advice as the unpopular opinion that it is: cats respond to pain. It's different for each cat, mind you, and this is a route you may not want to take for reasons other than personal belief in the sanctity of animal comfort. If you manage to catch the cat in the midst of doing something wrong, thwomp his head. Not hard, just knock him on the head with your thumb. You can't get a ton of force with the thumb, and they'll remember the hit. One of my cats liked to wake us up in the middle of the night by suckling on our faces. He doesn't do that anymore.

However, I have both heard stories of and owned cats who retaliate by finding more inconvenient places to do their business. Like their owner's beds. That pawing motion they do after relieving themselves only serves to work it into the sheets, too. So, that's your call.

Oh, and in case any PETA people are reading right now, fuck you. This is a suggestion for training, not an endorsement of animal cruelty.








The time I spiked a poodle was cruelty.

 

[VandalHeart]

How can you not want to know?

Have you no thirst for truth?

Truth comes in many flavors. Knowledge, while closely connected to the truth, is not truth itself.

Besides, if it was on purpose, it either had a sexual motivation or an illogical motivation, and if it was an accident, well, she's still alive, so she's okay. I know her well enough to know that if something truly bad that wouldn't keep her off the internet had happened, she'd let me know. On top of all that, she wants to know how to get rid of them, so most likely, it's not something she wants too much evidence of remaining. In other words, I'm not terribly interested.

I've heard no less than twelve stories that end in teethmarks on the steering wheel. Been there, done that.

 

[Lady Reiha]

Okay, basically, this is a "deal with it" situation. If he doesn't like the plant being used as a catbox, then he needs to put it somewhere the cat can't get to it. If he doesn't like the cat in his room, he needs to close the door. If he doesn't like the door being closed, he needs to deal with the cat. Plain and simple.

All that being said...take this advice as the unpopular opinion that it is: cats respond to pain. It's different for each cat, mind you, and this is a route you may not want to take for reasons other than personal belief in the sanctity of animal comfort. If you manage to catch the cat in the midst of doing something wrong, thwomp his head. Not hard, just knock him on the head with your thumb. You can't get a ton of force with the thumb, and they'll remember the hit. One of my cats liked to wake us up in the middle of the night by suckling on our faces. He doesn't do that anymore.

However, I have both heard stories of and owned cats who retaliate by finding more inconvenient places to do their business. Like their owner's beds. That pawing motion they do after relieving themselves only serves to work it into the sheets, too. So, that's your call.

Oh, and in case any PETA people are reading right now, fuck you. This is a suggestion for training, not an endorsement of animal cruelty.








The time I spiked a poodle was cruelty.

Thanks!


He does retaliate occasionally, but I'll give your way a try

 

[HotFaerieMama]

Dear Demon.... what should someone do if they end up raw and sore from too much sex ?

 

[SexyCleric]

During Europe's exploration/loot and rape days, we seem to hear an awful lot about how the explorer's/rapists/murdering white dudes always seemed to bring along fun diseases; small pox, influenza, and other goodies. Native populations hadn't been exposed to them naturally, had no immunities, and died off by the droves.

Does it not stand to reason that the reverse would also be true? Did a little (read; lazy) research, and couldn't find any data on whether or not foreign diseases were quite as much of a problem for the explorers.

Are Europeans more resistant to disease, are European diseases simply more hardcore, or did the explorers also have problems and just didn't get such drastic results?

 

[VandalHeart]

Dear Demon.... what should someone do if they end up raw and sore from too much sex ?

Go to Wal-Mart or your local pharmacy. Ask someone who works there for "Udder Cream." Buy a tub of it. Use it. Do not have sex until you're not raw anymore.

Use lube from now on.





Oh, one more thing. Give me details.

 

[VandalHeart]

During Europe's exploration/loot and rape days, we seem to hear an awful lot about how the explorer's/rapists/murdering white dudes always seemed to bring along fun diseases; small pox, influenza, and other goodies. Native populations hadn't been exposed to them naturally, had no immunities, and died off by the droves.

Does it not stand to reason that the reverse would also be true? Did a little (read; lazy) research, and couldn't find any data on whether or not foreign diseases were quite as much of a problem for the explorers.

Are Europeans more resistant to disease, are European diseases simply more hardcore, or did the explorers also have problems and just didn't get such drastic results?

If you want to find where the explorers have problem with disease, look into the European invasions of Africa and Asia. Mostly in the jungle areas. Those are just the ones I can think of off the top of my head, no research involved. Don't forget the speech Lt. Dan had with Private Forrest Gump about his socks.

As for why us whiteys didn't have to deal too much with New World infections, the hippies may take this to mythological heights of ridiculousness, but the natives usually do live cleaner than the invaders. There is a reason that such virgin soils are sought, after all. Europe wasn't a very nice place to live at the time. If you look at the map, you'll see the reason for this. Yes, the Americas had war just like Europe, and they even had disease, but more importantly, they had room to spread out. Wide open spaces make for much less lethal enemies. Europe is much more enclosed. With the Mediterranean to the south, the Ural mountains to the east, and the Atlantic closing off the north and west, Europe is the smallest continent there is. It makes for close quarters and thus, bad company. Especially when a plague breaks out. Statistically, Europe has suffered more plagues than any other continent. And don't try to adjust for population, because that only makes it worse. Population density is what you want to look at. The denser a population, the faster infectious disease is likely to spread, and the faster it DID in Europe. This made Europeans more resilient to infections, as well as pushed them to come up with better methods of medicine as well as field hygiene. So, there's you answer. The Europeans, in response to war, famine, war, plague and war, as well as a war or two, they pushed their scientific research to it's justifiable limits (when other countries, including the church weren't interfering) and came up with these things.

In the Americas, it was just as simple to just pack up the village and go somewhere else. So they did.

 

[VandalHeart]

Somebody want to give me a nice Xmas present and ask me a good question?

 

[gesshoku]

Greetings VandalHeart,

How do you celebrate Christmas? Also, what do you think of the political correctness that demands that most major media say "Happy Holidays"?

 

[VandalHeart]

Greetings VandalHeart,

How do you celebrate Christmas? Also, what do you think of the political correctness that demands that most major media say "Happy Holidays"?

My celebration of Christmas isn't what it used to be, really. Back in the day it meant going to my both houses of grandparents and spending time with the families. The last time I did that was the year before I graduated high school, and I really miss it. In fact, the last time I visited my grandparents on my dad's side for Christmas I got in a completely unforeseen conversation with my granduncle about how awesome South Park was. That night we went to his house and I got to watch his collection. It was a nice break. I love my family, but sometimes they can be a little boring, especially when they talk about all the farmer/rancher stuff that I know little about. Nowadays, it's mostly a play it by ear kind of thing. It all depends on who I'm with and what they want to do. Presents are rarely involved, but I'm just glad if I get to hang out with people. I'm not much for holidays anymore.

As for your second question, political correctness is stupid. It's lying, plain and simple. If a media outlet wants to say "Merry Christmas," then they should. If they want to say "Happy Holidays," they should do it because not all of the people they represent (meaning employ) are Christian. If they do it because they don't want to offend their audience, they're trying to have their cake and eat it, too. I've seen both, and I've seen "Happy Hanukkah," too, even though that's an incorrect spelling of the holiday, but I'm waiting for the day when I see a major media outlet wish us "Happy Yule." Not only for the joy of seeing someone be informed and thoughtful, but to watch all the fundamentalists blow a gasket.

Let me be clear: I was once Christian, but I am now only partially so. My devotion to the Christian faith these days is only so much that I become angry to the point of murderous tendencies when faced with the direction of modern fundamentalist Christians. I have a problem with any faith that encourages ignorance. But I know the story of Christ's birth, and have even researched it in detail, so I know the difference between what is told in the Bible, what might have actually happened, and what was modified to fit the Pagan practices of the middle and dark ages to attract more Christian converts. It's a nice story of the birth of a messiah who eventually preached a message of love, acceptance, and responsibility. In less than four months many people with celebrate his martyrdom by using Pagan practices again, while completely missing the point that the celebration which, in my opinion, should be about how one man, who knew the consequences of his actions, chose to stand by his beliefs and do what he thought was the right thing anyway. In my opinion, the Christian faith is not one of dominance and government control as it seems to be turning into these days. The Christian faith is an incredibly difficult path to follow because it teaches the adherent to forgive all pains visited upon them equally and without question, to follow ten - given the nature of human psychology - very difficult rules, and has been "championed" by people through the centuries that have taken those messages and twisted them to their own purposes. I respect anyone who actually is a Christian, but I'll believe they are when I actually see it. To this day, I have met two people I would actually label as Christians. I'm related to neither of them.

 

[~His Kitten~]

I can highly recommend spraying a cat with water to prevent or discourage bad, unwanted behavior.

My question dearest Vandie:

Why do some penis-es look so dark? I mean, they look shady. Not as in sketchy but shady.

Explain please?

 

[HotFaerieMama]

Dear Demon, my dom friends have all at one point or another tried to embarrass me or humiliate me at some point or another and they have all failed because its not easy to do that to me.. but my question is.. why do they do this? as soon as they find out that i don't blush and can't be humilated as easily as others they try and fail. .. but why do they think they can when i tell them that it won't work? and another question. Why do people try to scare me? when it never works. it seems pointless and stupid.

 

[~His Kitten~]

What does it mean dear Demon when in our dreams people are trying to kill us?

 

[~His Kitten~]

Dear Demon,

Have you realized yet that I will post until you answer?

 

[gesshoku]

Dear Vandal,

Can you explain some people's addiction to WoW, EQ and other games like it? I play WoW, and can take it or leave it on most days. Why are others obessed with playing it to the detriment of other things in their lives? Do you think its an inherent trait of addiction? Or are the people just so entranced with the game that they can't help themselves?

 

[VandalHeart]

Before I get to answering questions, I think you all deserve an explanation.

First off, I'm sorry I took so long to get back to you. The past three months have been very hectic at my job because of various conventions, sports events, and of course, Mardi Gras. If you didn't already know (and this is for everyone's edification), I work in a karaoke club on Bourbon Street in New Orleans. The bigger the excuse to party, the more business we get as well as the more dangerous it becomes in the French Quarter. The last time I was on Bourbon St. during Mardi Gras, I watched a man get his throat slit and die.

About six years ago, I was standing outside of a bar, having a cigarette, just watching the people mill around, catching the sight of a few flashed boobs here and there. I looked up to see a gentleman in a decent looking business suit get-up apparently doing the same. It is important to note that I could have taken a step forward and kissed this guy - that's how close we were standing to each other. I nodded a hello to him. In less time than it took me to type this out, a knife appeared from over his shoulder, dragged across his throat and disappeared. It was so packed, I never saw the person who did it. Apparently, neither did anyone else. It was just a hand holding a knife. It popped into existence, slid it's murderous path, and then vanished.

Needless to say, I've been quietly freaking out ever since New Year's. Since I now work on Bourbon, I was going to have to be there, and the thought has been making me crazy. I didn't want to talk to anyone, I didn't want to do my threads, and I didn't want to go to work. The good news is, no matter how scared I am, I love my job. I made it through Mardi Gras, no harm done, and now I've had time to rest and recuperate. I'm back, and I'll be answering your questions just as fast as I can. Thank you all for being so patient with me (if you were patient, that is) and I apologize for taking so long (even if you weren't patient, although I still have a strong urge to tell you to go fuck yourself).

Anyhow, let's get back to the questions.

 

[VandalHeart]

I can highly recommend spraying a cat with water to prevent or discourage bad, unwanted behavior.

My question dearest Vandie:

Why do some penis-es look so dark? I mean, they look shady. Not as in sketchy but shady.

Explain please?

Well, first off, the plural of penis in penes. I looked it up. And yes, it is pronounced PEE-nees, which I find completely hilarious. Dunno why.

The answer to your question is that skin and it's pigmentation varies greatly due to so many factors that it could be caused by any of a hundred factors, possibly multiple factors. Pigmentation varies based on genetics, external influences like temperature, sunlight exposure, even pollution. The medical condition of hyperpigmentation, a darkening of the skin due to melanin overconcentration, is often a warning sign of several other dangerous diseases, hazardous chemical exposures, even smoking or becoming pregnant. Sometimes, it just means the person in question is spending too much time trying to get a tan. There doesn't seem to be much information, however, on why genitals often appear darker than the rest of a person's normal skin tone. I, however have a theory that I am so sure of, I'm going to claim it as fact and keep a middle finger raised to all who care to disagree.

The skin that makes up the "casing" of genitals, vaginae (See? Weird plurals!) included, is supposed to stretch. When a guy is going about his business and not sexually aroused (no comments from the fucking peanut gallery about how guys are always aroused, because it's bullshit, and you know it), the penis is compacted and, well, floppy. There really isn't a better word for it. Mostly because scientific terms aren't as funny. Vaginae, well, duh. It's supposed to stretch. I was stumped until I thought about balloons. When they stretch, they get lighter. Same concept. The melanin is just scrunched together.

Lots of websites out there have people freaking the fuck out about this, both men and women. Some people are very self-conscious about their genitals being a different skin tone. One person even had to go to therapy about it. It is, however, the general consensus that it is perfectly normal. Weird, maybe, but normal.

Hope this helps.

 

[VandalHeart]

Dear Demon, my dom friends have all at one point or another tried to embarrass me or humiliate me at some point or another and they have all failed because its not easy to do that to me.. but my question is.. why do they do this? as soon as they find out that i don't blush and can't be humilated as easily as others they try and fail. .. but why do they think they can when i tell them that it won't work? and another question. Why do people try to scare me? when it never works. it seems pointless and stupid.

WARNING: FAKE STATISTIC COMING UP - ARGUE WITH ME AND BE THE FIRST TO GET TO SUCK MY BALLS FOR BEING A BANAL IDIOT

I'm not ticklish. Now, did you feel that? That sudden urge to try and tickle me? This is because humans are arrogant. They hear that something can't be done and their immediate reaction is to try and do it. Even if you didn't have that reaction, 999 out of 1,000 people do. This is actually a good thing, if you think about it. Scientific progress would be null if this arrogance didn't exist.

For the record, 999,999,999 out of 1,000,000,000 Doms think they are the most awesome, hot-shit, freaky wicked cool person ever born, and that they can do anything if they just try. Contrary to what I just said about human arrogance being a good thing, most of us Doms are complete and total tardbags.