Ask the Demon

[VandalHeart]

What does it mean dear Demon when in our dreams people are trying to kill us?

Depends on who you ask. Dream interpretation is an art, not a science. In fact, the art of dream interpretation falls under the artistic umbrella category of Witty Bullshitting. Usually for profit.

It could mean that the person in question is very important to you and the degree of importance you assign to them is starting to scare you. It could mean that person is attracted to you and you really don't like it. It could mean that person is, in fact, trying to kill you. It could mean that your uncle touched you in your secret place when you were a kiddy and you're trying to remember it. It could mean that you really should ask that person out on a date because it'll be a great relationship. Or, it could mean that you really want a pimento cheese sandwich. There is no way to know what dreams mean. Period.

 

[VandalHeart]

Dear Demon,

Have you realized yet that I will post until you answer?

Yes, and I appreciate it to no end, actually. I like seeing that people still care about me.

 

[VandalHeart]

Dear Vandal,

Can you explain some people's addiction to WoW, EQ and other games like it? I play WoW, and can take it or leave it on most days. Why are others obessed with playing it to the detriment of other things in their lives? Do you think its an inherent trait of addiction? Or are the people just so entranced with the game that they can't help themselves?

Not only is it an inherent trait of addiction, but MMORPGs both appeal to addictive personalities AND provide social interaction to video gamers, who are ten times as likely to be social outcasts who are starved for it. The games themselves are pretty, somewhat exciting, and allow for that false anonymity the internet provides so well all at the same time. That's why they're so popular.

 

[SexyCleric]

Good to see you alive Demon.
There was some murmuring that you had finally be destroyed.

Fucked up to hear about the Mardi Gras knife business though.

My question falls into the realm of theoretical science.
What are your thoughts on the expansion or contraction of the universe?

 

[VandalHeart]

Good to see you alive Demon.
There was some murmuring that you had finally be destroyed.

Fucked up to hear about the Mardi Gras knife business though.

My question falls into the realm of theoretical science.
What are your thoughts on the expansion or contraction of the universe?

Rumors of my death, and all that jazz.

As for your question, infinity exists, in my opinion, and infinity is complete and never ending. An infinite object, therefor, cannot expand, because it has reached it's limit, which is "none," and cannot contract without changing from infinite to finite, and my faith tells me that the universe will always be infinite. In closing, no, on both counts.

This leads to an interesting secondary theory I once heard. The theory is this: the universe is, on average, completely stupid and insane, mathematically speaking. Here's the formula:

(B+D)/S=A

B represents the population of mentally infirm lifeforms in the universe. On average, this number is high, but by definition, not the majority. B stands for bonkers.

D represents the population of low intelligence quotient lifeforms in the universe. For the sake of padding the results to come up with as fair a result as possible against the theory, someone already counted among group B is counted again in group D. D stands for durr.

Estimates will work until we can get the intergalactic census started. I'll get back to you on that.

Divide the sum of groups B and D by S, the population of sentient lifeforms in the universe to find A, the average mental stability and potence of the universe. Now, the universe is infinite, and as such, so is the population of it. You know there are smart people and you know there are dumb people. Therefor, the number of stupids out there is a finite number. The same goes for the insane. Any finite number added to a finite number is still finite, but, any finite number divided by an infinite number is automatically zero. Therefor, the universe is braindead and completely psychotic.

On average.

 

[~His Kitten~]

Yes, and I appreciate it to no end, actually. I like seeing that people still care about me.

More likely it is because we are all bloody masochists actually.

What is the shelf life of a refrigerated egg role?

 

[SexyCleric]

Rumors of my death, and all that jazz.

As for your question, infinity exists, in my opinion, and infinity is complete and never ending. An infinite object, therefor, cannot expand, because it has reached it's limit, which is "none," and cannot contract without changing from infinite to finite, and my faith tells me that the universe will always be infinite. In closing, no, on both counts.

This leads to an interesting secondary theory I once heard. The theory is this: the universe is, on average, completely stupid and insane, mathematically speaking. Here's the formula:

(B+D)/S=A

B represents the population of mentally infirm lifeforms in the universe. On average, this number is high, but by definition, not the majority. B stands for bonkers.

D represents the population of low intelligence quotient lifeforms in the universe. For the sake of padding the results to come up with as fair a result as possible against the theory, someone already counted among group B is counted again in group D. D stands for durr.

Estimates will work until we can get the intergalactic census started. I'll get back to you on that.

Divide the sum of groups B and D by S, the population of sentient lifeforms in the universe to find A, the average mental stability and potence of the universe. Now, the universe is infinite, and as such, so is the population of it. You know there are smart people and you know there are dumb people. Therefor, the number of stupids out there is a finite number. The same goes for the insane. Any finite number added to a finite number is still finite, but, any finite number divided by an infinite number is automatically zero. Therefor, the universe is braindead and completely psychotic.

On average.

All Douglas Adams thinking aside (however honored), what makes you believe it's infinite?

 

[VandalHeart]

More likely it is because we are all bloody masochists actually.

What is the shelf life of a refrigerated egg role?

Two days longer than the expiration date. If there isn't one, then the next time you see it is the expiration date, and it actually is right, because Murphy's Law goes into effect, and if you'd opened the fridge door two hours earlier, you'd be fine.

In short: don't do it, man, it's not worth it.

 

[VandalHeart]

All Douglas Adams thinking aside (however honored), what makes you believe it's infinite?

Faith, pure and simple. Sorry for referencing British humor once again, but I'm hoping that infinity does exist, because that boosts the possibility that there is intelligent life out in space, because there's bugger all down here on Earth.

 

[~His Kitten~]

Two days longer than the expiration date. If there isn't one, then the next time you see it is the expiration date, and it actually is right, because Murphy's Law goes into effect, and if you'd opened the fridge door two hours earlier, you'd be fine.

In short: don't do it, man, it's not worth it.

Its 2 weeks old this Friday...does that mean I shouldn't?

 

[Lady Reiha]

Hmm...



Why is it that when I drink coffee all I feel like doing afterwards is sleep?

 

[VandalHeart]

Its 2 weeks old this Friday...does that mean I shouldn't?

Get rid of it before it becomes sentient and starts demanding rights.

 

[VandalHeart]

Hmm...



Why is it that when I drink coffee all I feel like doing afterwards is sleep?

Caffeine is weird. Sometimes it affects people in the same way it's reported to do: as an eye opener. In some people, however, it knocks them out. Caffeine is a stimulant. Normally, this would mean it wakes you up. However, some people build up a resistance, others have a lack of stimulants naturally produced by the body, and the newly balanced state tells their bodies to go into rest mode, and still others simply aren't affected by the compound. Mix any of those with the fact that coffee is a warm liquid, which automatically tells the body to go to sleep, and there's your reason.

 

[~His Kitten~]

Maybe I should name my egg roll baby.

But. ^ is that why opiate narcotics make me hyper instead of putting me to sleep? Even with the full dosage of 2 pills instead of 1?

 

[SexyCleric]

Faith, pure and simple. Sorry for referencing British humor once again, but I'm hoping that infinity does exist, because that boosts the possibility that there is intelligent life out in space, because there's bugger all down here on Earth.

One never need apologize for British humor.

 

[Lady Reiha]

Caffeine is weird. Sometimes it affects people in the same way it's reported to do: as an eye opener. In some people, however, it knocks them out. Caffeine is a stimulant. Normally, this would mean it wakes you up. However, some people build up a resistance, others have a lack of stimulants naturally produced by the body, and the newly balanced state tells their bodies to go into rest mode, and still others simply aren't affected by the compound. Mix any of those with the fact that coffee is a warm liquid, which automatically tells the body to go to sleep, and there's your reason.

Ah! I see, I see ^^

Thanks!


However, new question of the party time:


My Hotmail account got hacked yesterday & I sent out a warning to everyone on my list. ( which totally sucks btw!!) anyway, I have had this account since I was 12 ( I'm 23 now), and the same password too. I really don't want to get a new account or a new password, so is there any other way to ensure this won't happen again?

 

[VandalHeart]

Maybe I should name my egg roll baby.

But. ^ is that why opiate narcotics make me hyper instead of putting me to sleep? Even with the full dosage of 2 pills instead of 1?

Regarding the egg roll, it'll all end in tears, I'm telling you.

Body chemistry is a tricky thing, really. Some people will react to certain drugs opposite to the normal. I've heard of people taking aspirin and having hallucinations. There's never really any telling how someone's body will react to a foreign chemical until it's tried. You just never know.

Hell, I had to drop 8 hits of LSD before I had a reaction. They all caught up to me, very quickly, though.

 

[VandalHeart]

One never need apologize for British humor.

You are, as always, a gentleman and a scholar. Amen.

 

[VandalHeart]

Ah! I see, I see ^^

Thanks!


However, new question of the party time:


My Hotmail account got hacked yesterday & I sent out a warning to everyone on my list. ( which totally sucks btw!!) anyway, I have had this account since I was 12 ( I'm 23 now), and the same password too. I really don't want to get a new account or a new password, so is there any other way to ensure this won't happen again?

Ouch. Been there, I know how much that sucks. You don't need to get a new account, but if you're not willing to change your password, then I can't really think of anything you could do. And really, changing your password isn't really that tough or inconvenient. I spent about an hour one day running around to all the sites I frequent and changing all my passwords the day after one of my accounts was hacked. I was changing them all to the same password. Now, I'm not saying you absolutely have to do this, especially since you can just make the change as you visit sites periodically, but whoever hacked your account has your password. You need to change that if you want to keep the account. Sorry to put it like that, darlin', but them's the breaks.

 

[~His Kitten~]

The egg roll finally was tossed.

But I found another sweet surprise in my fridge!http://i39.tinypic.com/aytx7k.jpg

What grad school should I choose oh mighty one?

 

[VandalHeart]

The egg roll finally was tossed.

But I found another sweet surprise in my fridge!

What grad school should I choose oh mighty one?

Tulane Medical in New Orleans. And you have to move here, too, just to make sure it's (he's? she's?) safe. Yup.

No, I don't have an ulterior motive.

Really.

Okay, who am I kidding?

 

[VandalHeart]

That most wise of the species...

Okay, boys and girls, someone recently utilized the option to send me a question in my trusty pm inbox. The question was how I define the nerd.

This is going to be fun. Let's see how much hate mail I can generate off of this one.

First, though, I'm going to keep it simple. The first recorded instance of the word "nerd" was in a book by Dr. Seuss, "If I Ran the Zoo." The animal in question, was never described. This, however, is the only picture of one:
http://www.eldacur.com/~brons/NerdCorner/NerdBig8.gif

Doesn't he just look like a happy little camper?

The slang use of the word seems to have originated in Detroit and spread, since then, globally. Some claim that the word comes from a simplified spelling of the word "drunk" spelled backwards (knurd), used to describe college students that studied while most others were out boozing it up.

Of course two pieces of film saturated the term in American culture: Happy Days and, subsequently, the Revenge of the Nerds series. A few other movies have been flagships of what is sometimes referred to a Nerd Pride, but the tv show got the term in common use, and the movie is the heavyweight champion classic as far as this subject is concerned.

The generally accepted definition of a nerd is anyone with high technical, scientific and/or mathematical skills, but is socially stunted, unskillful, odd, introverted or introspective. It is, technically, a derogatory slang term. Like most derogatory slang, however, it has become a proudly worn label by all but the most maladjusted to whom the term applies.

The term can be applied to anyone who does any of the following. This is not an exhaustive list. I'm not going to put this in "You Might Be a Redneck" form, because I'm positive it's already been done. It's also completely retarded.

-meticulously studies any piece of pop culture, from obscure anime to syndicated sitcoms, from science fiction novels and comic books to celebrity gossip.
-studies any subject to the point of ridiculous, being able to cite facts on the subject that have no bearing on functionality, posterity, or the subject of the conversation, ESPECIALLY if these facts are brought up without solicitation
-owns a pocket protector and wears it more than once a month (look, some stereotypes are true, deal with it)
-claims to dream in binary, regardless of the truth in the statement
-uses Linux, Unix or the likes
-longs for the bygone days of the turn-based strategy game (hasn't been a decent one made since Final Fantasy Tactics, in my opinion, and where the hell is my Master of Magic remake, you fucks?)
-has written a fanfic
-has written a cheesy fanfic (count both of them when determining nerd quotient)
-owns a piece of clothing with a cartoon character on it, ESPECIALLY if that character is from an anime (don't give me any lip about Disney characters being cute, either, you people are pathetic, sometimes)
-owns action figures, resin models, clay or stone sculptures or other realistic, three-dimensional renderings of any fictional character less than 50 years old (and in some cases, the 50 years bit doesn't even matter)
-can quote Shakespeare
-can quote Heinlein
-can quote Lucas
-(fuck it) can quote anyone associated with literature and media, ESPECIALLY science fiction and comics
-compulsively quotes anyone (this means you jocks out there who worship your coach's motivational "speeches," too)
-has ever quoted Yoda with a straight face (thanks, Dad)
-owns a parody album
-remembers the "good old days" of the Commodore 64, and actually calls them that
-has recorded their completion time on any video game that doesn't display it once beaten
-owns more than one computer, at least one of which doesn't work, and uses the expensive paper weight(s) as a heat sink for the one that actually works (don't you dare fucking judge me)
-knows who Bill Hicks was
-knows who Soul Coughing is
-reads a webcomic
-was or is a member of a secondary school marching band, concert band or orchestra
-uses a different web browser at home than the one required at work and regularly thinks about quitting the job because of it (I have stories)
-can quote issue numbers of events taking place in a comic book universe depicted in more than five titles, ESPECIALLY if doing so while describing a continuity error
-spends free time griping about or actually recording the scientific discrepancies of science fiction (by the way, if this is you, I hate you - shut up and enjoy the fucking show or or stop watching it, either way, STFU...and while we're on the subject...)
-uses 13375P33K or internet slang spellings (plz pwn urslf w/ a bfg, u newbz)

Anyhow, the list could go on and on, but that's the majority of my personal opinion on what constitutes a nerd. Please don't tell me about the things I've missed, because I really don't want to get into it. Suffice it to say I completely passed over the realm of role playing games, mostly because I want to go to bed sometime in the next three months, and I have this thing about leaving a post unfinished and unposted.

All in all, 4 out of 5 nerds, in my opinion, are the greatest people you could ever hope or pray to meet. That fifth nerd needs to be removed from the gene pool, though. You know the one. He's the little shit that says the word "fag" every five or six words when playing Halo. He's the reason Trade Chat is so mind-numbingly aggravating on World of Warcraft He's the reason your email account has 28G of spam. And don't think I'm being sexist here. The cold hard fact of the matter is that the nerd we all hate is almost universally male. Sure, the girl nerds can get annoying sometimes, but that's just socially awkward obnoxiousness. The malicious poster children for abortion among the nerd community are dickless wonders who have yet to find anything better to do with their time than wage a war of attrition against friendliness in all things nerd. Quite frankly, the little shitstains are just lashing out with misplaced anger and either can't or won't actually try to resolve the problem, but instead try to fuck everyone else's groove. On top of that, females are usually both more sneaky and effective when they get malicious, so they aren't the ones pulling this bullshit.

There are always exceptions, though. I'm not going to name any names, but that twat better stop sending me messages.

In closing, let me add that there is no difference between the terms nerd, geek, dweeb and dork, outside of their etymological and scientific uses. Socially and culturally, they are all the same thing. Don't go saying you identify as a different label, just so you can be contrary. Yes, that is what you're doing. No, it's not helping. Shut the hell up.

By the way, in case you didn't notice, I had a shitty day at work. Love you all!

 

[SexyCleric]

-spends free time griping about or actually recording the scientific discrepancies of science fiction (by the way, if this is you, I hate you - shut up and enjoy the fucking show or or stop watching it, either way, STFU...and while we're on the subject...)

Hey. No. Objection. Some errors are inexcusable. You watch "The Core" with more than an inkling of knowledge of science (any fucking field), and blood shoots out your ears! I agree with you on most movies... Not all directors/writers or whatever can have degrees, and all SciFi has sound in space. That's why all movies should hire a Technical Nerd Consultant.

In closing, let me add that there is no difference between the terms nerd, geek, dweeb and dork, outside of their etymological and scientific uses.

Some of us thrive on those minor differences.

 

[SexyCleric]

Edit: Whoops, browser problem resulted in double post.

 

[VandalHeart]

...all SciFi has sound in space.

Not Firefly. Just sayin'.