satindesire
Queen of Geeks
- Joined
- Apr 19, 2005
- Posts
- 13,101
What a tool.
You are what you build! =P
ASSHAT AWARDS: Best of the Worst PMs and Emails Received
- Thread starter h_i_s
- Start date
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You are what you build! =P
Sir_Winston54
Assume the position!
- Joined
- Jul 15, 2004
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- 14,027
*snicker*I got my first asshat email on another site; it's been a few years since I've gotten one.
So this guy sends out this obvious form letter with your basic I build the bestest kink toys EVAR, and instead of selling them I offer my expertise/fabulousfucktoyfivethousand/expert in Control/Mentoring/blahblahblahness stuff.
Me being me, I pointed out that form emails come across as scatter shot and spamish, but good luck with that.
Guy writes back a polite note, I respond with a polite note of good luck yadayadayada (restating disinterest), and he comes back with the "you're different from most of the women here" line [Really? Ya think?] and suggests we could have a lot to offer one another and pitches the whole uber-toys thing again.
Seriously - thank you, but not interested in the accouterments/toys/things aspect of BDSM. At all. Period. Very very very negative opinion of such. Thanks, but no thanks; good luck finding someone.
... twit responded with a reminder that XYZ toy could pound me at X strokes per minute, and keep him in mind!!!
What a tool.
*outright laughter!*
Thanks, you two!
Homburg
Daring greatly
- Joined
- Aug 28, 2007
- Posts
- 13,578
Why would a guy endorse a woman buying a fucking machine? Surely it will have the potential to replace him; wouldn't he be threatened by it?
The same sort of question could be applied to dildos and vibes, I guess. Some people like it. I can think of various reasons such as very light cuckold desires, enjoying seeing your female partner pleasured by an external source without having some other guy challenging your territory, sheer geek gadget fascination, etc.
Evil_Geoff
Equal Opportunity Sadist
- Joined
- Aug 23, 2005
- Posts
- 6,375
Can you say "lazy Top"? You know... guy is thinking - "She gets off, I don't break a sweat or worry about not satisfying her, she thinks I'm the greatest ever for letting her play with toys so she DOES get off (because she's never gotten there with a mere human being that doesn't vibrate at 200x a minute)..." etc.
Doofus has never figured out that what makes a woman cum is the massive organ between her EARS, not the one between HIS legs... Sheesh!
Doofus has never figured out that what makes a woman cum is the massive organ between her EARS, not the one between HIS legs... Sheesh!
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HisSexyPet
Literotica Guru
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- Jun 22, 2009
- Posts
- 681
Yeah...I got that one too.
Sir_Winston54
Assume the position!
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- Jul 15, 2004
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Missed that the first time around... LMAO!
missginger2177
Really Really Experienced
- Joined
- Jun 17, 2009
- Posts
- 452
Oh that's got nothing on my 12 yo brother calling me perverted. Just because I see BDSM connections in his favorite cartoon, doesn't mean I am perverted.
Right?
Right?
RawHumor
Creepers Gotta Creep
- Joined
- Jan 24, 2002
- Posts
- 57,560
It doesn't mean that you're perverted, but I would tend to question why you discuss BDSM with your 12 year old brother.
Sir_Winston54
Assume the position!
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AND why your 12-year-old brother even has a clue what BDSM *is!*It doesn't mean that you're perverted, but I would tend to question why you discuss BDSM with your 12 year old brother.
missginger2177
Really Really Experienced
- Joined
- Jun 17, 2009
- Posts
- 452
Didn't say that. He just knows that when we watch it I laugh and snicker at completely inappropriate times. Finally he asked why certain things are so funny to me and what was the damn joke. I winked and told him he was too young. He called me perverted.
It's the Nickelodeon cartoon called Avatar: The Last Airbender for those of you wondering.
CutieMouse
Meticulously Flighty
- Joined
- Apr 7, 2004
- Posts
- 8,493
Why would a guy endorse a woman buying a fucking machine? Surely it will have the potential to replace him; wouldn't he be threatened by it?
Oh no - it wasn't a pitch to buy. He was offering his neato-snazzy-way-cool toy thingies out of the generosity of his heart. He *could* sell the things, but isn't. He'd rather find play partners to use them on than profit from the design.
Possibly.
BDSM Geeks - be proud, be loud?
Seriously - how thick does someone have to be to hear "Jaded and pissy re: BDSM accouterments, fetish items, props, things, stuff, whatever. Not at all interested in the "trappings" of kink. Thank you but no thank you; good luck finding a suitable partner"... and reply with a reminder that 'cuntslammer 6000' (I made that up) is ready and willing when I am?
Ew.
Sir_Winston54
Assume the position!
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- Jul 15, 2004
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- 14,027
Oh, come on, CM. You're *much* more creative than that. I *mean,* just off the top of my head --
Pussypounder
Thundertwat
Gashbasher
Vijayjayplayplay
Muffstuffer
Beavercleaver
Cootershooter
Clamslammer...
Aw, geeze, I gotta get back to work.
graceanne
iteroticalay urugay
- Joined
- Jun 22, 2004
- Posts
- 27,585
Ok, um . . . I watch that with my son. I haven't seen any kinky undertones.
Tell me! It would make it more interesting! lol
ZRT
The 'Yarch's Ass Kicker
- Joined
- Jan 27, 2009
- Posts
- 1,357
Oh, come on, CM. You're *much* more creative than that. I *mean,* just off the top of my head --
Pussypounder
Thundertwat
Gashbasher
Vijayjayplayplay
Muffstuffer
Beavercleaver
Cootershooter
Clamslammer...
Aw, geeze, I gotta get back to work.
I'm officially naming my next invention 'The Cootershooter'.
I don't even care what it does. That's what I'm naming it. If it's a work project, that'll raise some eyebrows. (And possibly some lawsuits, but damn the torpedoes.)
myinnerslut
His chains. His lash.
- Joined
- Jul 19, 2006
- Posts
- 6,053
satindesire
Queen of Geeks
- Joined
- Apr 19, 2005
- Posts
- 13,101
beavercleaver.
I am so naming my next World of Warcraft guild that.
I am so naming my next World of Warcraft guild that.
HisSexyPet
Literotica Guru
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- Jun 22, 2009
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- 681
satindesire
Queen of Geeks
- Joined
- Apr 19, 2005
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What server? I am so gonna make a toon there and join.
Sentinels! ^_^
Good luck to me getting it past the censors. -_-;;
Sir_Winston54
Assume the position!
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- Jul 15, 2004
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If they give you any static, remind them that "Beaver Cleaver" is the name of the eponymous character in the 50s sitcom "Leave it to Beaver."
jockdom
Hairy Highlander
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- Apr 13, 2008
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- 3,729
There's a 80 Warrior on my server called LabiaMajora
gypsy*seer
Barefoot sage
- Joined
- Mar 7, 2009
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- 4,277
Unsolicited mail from a newbie....
I can help
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"I can definitely show you what he expects of you and in the process get you all worked up for him....if interested contact me at xxxx@youidiot.com or on AIM screen name xyz"
I can't even think of what he's talking about or why....
I can help
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"I can definitely show you what he expects of you and in the process get you all worked up for him....if interested contact me at xxxx@youidiot.com or on AIM screen name xyz"
I can't even think of what he's talking about or why....
ZRT
The 'Yarch's Ass Kicker
- Joined
- Jan 27, 2009
- Posts
- 1,357
I can help
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"I can definitely show you what he expects of you and in the process get you all worked up for him....if interested contact me at xxxx@youidiot.com or on AIM screen name xyz"
I can't even think of what he's talking about or why....
Hmph.
The only other person who knew the secret of the Triple Hitachi Twister was my long-dead mentor, so I seriously doubt he can give any assistance in what's expected of you.
Friggin' charlatans.
gypsy*seer
Barefoot sage
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- Mar 7, 2009
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- 4,277
- Status
