ASSHAT AWARDS: Best of the Worst PMs and Emails Received

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Wow

missginger- How about I climb...
between those hot legs and suck on your tasty pussy while you chat with all of your Lit boys?

Or aren't you that kind of girl?



So this was a new one. Bit odd really. And just for the honest-to-God record, NO I'm not that kind of girl. :rolleyes:
 
missginger- How about I climb...
between those hot legs and suck on your tasty pussy while you chat with all of your Lit boys?

Or aren't you that kind of girl?



So this was a new one. Bit odd really. And just for the honest-to-God record, NO I'm not that kind of girl. :rolleyes:

Yeah, that's a cut and paste PM that many of us have gotten, unfortunately.

He hasn't 'gotten' it yet, I see. :rolleyes:
 
missginger- How about I climb...
between those hot legs and suck on your tasty pussy while you chat with all of your Lit boys?

Or aren't you that kind of girl?

So this was a new one. Bit odd really. And just for the honest-to-God record, NO I'm not that kind of girl. :rolleyes:

Yeah, that's a cut and paste PM that many of us have gotten, unfortunately.

He hasn't 'gotten' it yet, I see. :rolleyes:
Well, he's got sort of the right idea... but when I'm engaged in that type of activity, I damn sure don't expect the recipient of my attentions to be "chatting" with anyone about anything... or *able* to!
 
Well, he's got sort of the right idea... but when I'm engaged in that type of activity, I damn sure don't expect the recipient of my attentions to be "chatting" with anyone about anything... or *able* to!

It doesn't speak well of his skill, does it?
 
I just don't understand why that guy thinks all of us females have "lit boys"?!

I've never had a "Lit boy" in my whole four years here, am I missing something or what?!
 
An Uncle named John Sunshine?

LOL

Re: Your Payment Delivery:.. This is to inform you that Mr. John have been mandated to deliver your inheritance payment of US$1.5 Million. Here is your payment reference no.-3532-0021 & released code no: 0763; you were made the beneficiary of these fundsby a benefactor whose details will be revealed to you after handing over the funds to you in accordance with the Agreement we signed with the benefactor when he enlisted our assistance in delivering the funds to you. Mr. John is presently at Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta International Airport in the United States of America to deliver the consignment funds to you but before he can deliver the funds to you, you have to reconfirm the following information's to him so as to ensure that he is dealing with the right person: 1. Your Full Names, 2. Residential Address,3. Age, 4. Occupation,5. Direct Telephone Numbers,and 6. A Copy of Your Identification. After his verification of the information with what he have on file, he shall contact you so that both of you can make arrangements on the exact time he will be bringing your package to your residential address. You are to forward the requested information's to Mr. John Sunshine with the below contact. Contact person: Mr. John Sunshine Email Address: ( jsun1@jmail.co.za )Tel: +1 770 544 7770 Thanks for Your Cooperation.Elizabeth JacobInheritance Payment Division.
 
On fetlife:

high, my name is (asshat) and I was wondering what it takes to be able to fuck a hot lady like you?

thanx!!

My Reply:

I can't even begin to tell you how sad and disgusting this is.

You know, I'm sure that I'm not the only woman you've sent this message to. You're wanting to get something to jerk off to, and instead of just googling "Tits" or something like that, you thought you'd be lazy and get someone else to do your dirty work for you.

So, you've crafted a copy/paste message to send to as many women as you possibly could, casting your net as wide as you could on the slim chance that SOMEONE...ANYONE will reply to you and give you the wanking fodder you're so desperate for. I'm sure you're sitting in front of your computer either naked or with your pathetic dick out right now, hoping that some random woman who you messaged has sent you something to pull your dick to.

Not only did you not even bother to read my profile, which clearly stated that I was happily married and pregnant with our first baby, but I also made it perfectly clear to anyone with more than one brain cell that I would not be chatting with ANYONE in any way other than purely platonic...and to not even bother messaging me if platonic wasn't the subject at hand.

In case you don't know what the word "Platonic" means, the definition is not "because some random stranger messages me with "tell me what it's like to fuck you" I'll describe in vivid graphic detail down to the last moment of orgasm."

So kindly go suck your own dick, you illiterate fucking moron. And consider yourself blocked. At your age (you're old enough to be my fucking FATHER by the way, you SICK FUCK) I would hope that you'd be far more mature than this, but alas, my hope for the human race has once again been shattered by your blatant display of sheer stupidity and sexual immaturity.

Don't bother messaging me, I won't get it. You won't be able to even SEE my profile either. Try contacting me in any other way and I'll report you for harassment.

Have a nice night, asshole
 
On fetlife:

high, my name is (asshat) and I was wondering what it takes to be able to fuck a hot lady like you?

thanx!!

My Reply:

I can't even begin to tell you how sad and disgusting this is.

You know, I'm sure that I'm not the only woman you've sent this message to. You're wanting to get something to jerk off to, and instead of just googling "Tits" or something like that, you thought you'd be lazy and get someone else to do your dirty work for you.

So, you've crafted a copy/paste message to send to as many women as you possibly could, casting your net as wide as you could on the slim chance that SOMEONE...ANYONE will reply to you and give you the wanking fodder you're so desperate for. I'm sure you're sitting in front of your computer either naked or with your pathetic dick out right now, hoping that some random woman who you messaged has sent you something to pull your dick to.

Not only did you not even bother to read my profile, which clearly stated that I was happily married and pregnant with our first baby, but I also made it perfectly clear to anyone with more than one brain cell that I would not be chatting with ANYONE in any way other than purely platonic...and to not even bother messaging me if platonic wasn't the subject at hand.

In case you don't know what the word "Platonic" means, the definition is not "because some random stranger messages me with "tell me what it's like to fuck you" I'll describe in vivid graphic detail down to the last moment of orgasm."

So kindly go suck your own dick, you illiterate fucking moron. And consider yourself blocked. At your age (you're old enough to be my fucking FATHER by the way, you SICK FUCK) I would hope that you'd be far more mature than this, but alas, my hope for the human race has once again been shattered by your blatant display of sheer stupidity and sexual immaturity.

Don't bother messaging me, I won't get it. You won't be able to even SEE my profile either. Try contacting me in any other way and I'll report you for harassment.

Have a nice night, asshole

I don't think him being old enough to be your father makes him a sick fuck. A dreamer maybe. Some girls are into older guys.
 
Holy vitriol, Batman. That was nice!

Coming from you sweetie, I take that as a high compliment! *snugs*

I am. My sister is. My best friend is. We're all married/in a serious relationship, though.

Older guys don't actually bother me, hell, my ex was old enough to be my dad. But a lot of men get sensitive about their age and I wanted to make sure he was as textually assraped as I could. Any potential soft spot, I take advantage of. :devil:
 
I'm not sensitive about my age. Just sensitive to be called a sick fuck if I'm with someone young enough to be my daughter. If a young girl is attracted to me it shouldn't be anyone's business as long as she is of legal age. We're supposed to be a tolerant people here and yet something that isn't illegal and couldn't be labeled as immoral we need to fuss about?

Besides, it's a genetic thing to want younger women. If a 60 year old mailman loses his wife he gets one around his age to replace her. If a 60 year old CEO loses his he gets one 30 or 35. Because he can.
 
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