ASSHAT AWARDS: Best of the Worst PMs and Emails Received

[Homburg]

I'm more disturbed by the fact that she's apparently stretch mark free after giving birth. Damn Hentai and it's unrealistic expectations for women.....

Hair turning into hands and molesting her, and you are more focused on stretch marks?

 

[HisSexyPet]

Hair turning into hands and molesting her, and you are more focused on stretch marks?

Why of course...we all know you can't give birth without there being stretch marks...

 

[satindesire]

Hair turning into hands and molesting her, and you are more focused on stretch marks?

If my hair could molest me.....

*stares off*

............I'm sorry, what was the question?

 

[VelvetDarkness]

I pay no attention to such fripperies! I may not seem as threatening as other super-villains, but soon I, DOCTOR SHEEP, will have the world at my mercy! Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha! Mine is an evil laugh!

Baaaaaaa

*runs screaming from thread in a girly, Marvel-damsel-in-distress fashion*

 

[BlitzKrieger]

If my hair could molest me.....

*stares off*

............I'm sorry, what was the question?

From the looks of your avatar... Isn't it already doing that?

 

[BlitzKrieger]

:O double post, bad bad bad internets!

 

[satindesire]

From the looks of your avatar... Isn't it already doing that?

It was resting calmly on my massive milk swollen breasts at the time, having been fully exhausted by a local hairdresser who had cut four inches from it's lustrous length mere minutes before that picture was taken.

 

[Sir_Winston54]

It was resting calmly on my massive milk swollen breasts at the time, having been fully exhausted by a local hairdresser who had cut four inches from it's lustrous length mere minutes before that picture was taken.

Pix required, not just of the aforementioned mammarian development, but of the rest of your lovely self and our little BeeGee, too!

 

[satindesire]

Pix required, not just of the aforementioned mammarian development, but of the rest of your lovely self and our little BeeGee, too!

Since I've lost a total of 33 pounds so far (last time I checked) I think I can manage a few pictures. I feel a lot more like myself now that I'm on Zoloft and have lost so much of my baby weight!

 

[graceanne]

Since I've lost a total of 33 pounds so far (last time I checked) I think I can manage a few pictures. I feel a lot more like myself now that I'm on Zoloft and have lost so much of my baby weight!

Yay!

And you look as gorgeous as usual. I'm glad someone said something about your av, getting me to look.

 

[WriterDom]

that is a tough question to answer, Sir.. You have a Gorean presence.. in that my want is to call You "Master" rather than "Sir"

Isn't Gor the bdsm version of Dungeons and Dragons?

 

[Homburg]

that is a tough question to answer, Sir.. You have a Gorean presence.. in that my want is to call You "Master" rather than "Sir"

Isn't Gor the bdsm version of Dungeons and Dragons?

I don't know if this is more of an insult to Gor or D&D.

 

[EmpressFi]

Why of course...we all know you can't give birth without there being stretch marks...

you cant?? Dammit.. where's mine. I breastfeed without getting huge dark nipples and I went 41 weeks into pregnancy without stretch marks... and I've not now nor even after 6 hours without breastfeeding been a supersoaker and able to squirt someone with my breastmilk...

I feel jipped.

 

[Sir_Winston54]

Isn't Gor the bdsm version of Dungeons and Dragons?

I don't know if this is more of an insult to Gor or D&D.

D&D - no question.

 

[EmpressFi]

D&D - no question.

I agree

 

[WriterDom]

Hallo, Naturideen möchte Dich begrüßen. Tee, Gewürze, Rezepte. Produktneuheiten und Aktionen. Danke für´s folgen.

 

[Sir_Winston54]

Hallo, Naturideen möchte Dich begrüßen. Tee, Gewürze, Rezepte. Produktneuheiten und Aktionen. Danke für´s folgen.

"Hello, Nature Ideas would like to welcome you. Tea, spice, prescriptions. Product novelty and actions. Follow thanks for´s."​

You get spam via PM? Oh, this is e-mail, too. N/m. But at least you get it in German. I got some Korean spam once, and it didn't translate for squat.

 

[WriterDom]

"Hello, Nature Ideas would like to welcome you. Tea, spice, prescriptions. Product novelty and actions. Follow thanks for´s."​

You get spam via PM? Oh, this is e-mail, too. N/m. But at least you get it in German. I got some Korean spam once, and it didn't translate for squat.

It was Twitter. Thanks professor.

 

[Sir_Winston54]

It was Twitter. Thanks professor.

Oy vey! I hope you don't have to pay for incoming tweets.

I love free translation websites. They help me figure out the titles of some of my porn.

 

[Etoile]

You don't have to pay for Twitter, period.

Some people have tweets sent to their cell phone, and if they don't have unlimited texting then it might cost money, but you don't have to pay for Twitter.

 

[WriterDom]

You don't have to pay for Twitter, period.

Some people have tweets sent to their cell phone, and if they don't have unlimited texting then it might cost money, but you don't have to pay for Twitter.

Thank goodness. Sometimes a page fills up in 7 minutes. So I don't read much of what is there. I only need 4 more for 500 followers.

 

[Etoile]

Thank goodness. Sometimes a page fills up in 7 minutes. So I don't read much of what is there. I only need 4 more for 500 followers.

How on earth do you follow over 500 people?? I have 655 followers but I only follow 216 and that feels like a lot.

 

[Evil_Geoff]

I follow no one.

They follow me.

That's why I am the Dominant!

Your base are belong to me!

 

[PatchIsMe]

you cant?? Dammit.. where's mine. I breastfeed without getting huge dark nipples and I went 41 weeks into pregnancy without stretch marks... and I've not now nor even after 6 hours without breastfeeding been a supersoaker and able to squirt someone with my breastmilk...

I feel jipped.

I have stretch marks everywhere, they are not anything to make much ado about! I have never been able to be a human super soaker either...I was lucky to pump 4 -5 ounces total! Some women have all the luck *sigh*

 

[graceanne]

I have stretch marks everywhere, they are not anything to make much ado about! I have never been able to be a human super soaker either...I was lucky to pump 4 -5 ounces total! Some women have all the luck *sigh*

I want to go on record by saying that being a super soaker is nothing to be happy with. For one thing those nifty little breast pads don't do squat, so you're constantly wet. You have to change the towel you sleep on at least once a night. Sometimes you get so wet it drips on the floor and you have to clean it up. And your baby is more likely to be colicy if your milk comes out to fast, cause they have to gulp to swallow it and they ingest a lot of air.