ASSHAT AWARDS: Best of the Worst PMs and Emails Received

[Homburg]

Bring him here. It's been altogether too long since the last blowhard wandered over with a gigantically inflated opinion of himself (like, a whole three weeks! And I missed most of the action there because I was at work, I'm probably owed it)

You and your inflated sense of asshat-baiting entitlement....

 

[MisterSir]

You and your inflated sense of asshat-baiting entitlement....

I'm entitled! I like having fun as much as the next cheerful sociopath, dammit!

 

[Sir_Winston54]

Bring him here. It's been altogether too long since the last blowhard wandered over with a gigantically inflated opinion of himself (like, a whole three weeks! And I missed most of the action there because I was at work, I'm probably owed it)

You and your inflated sense of asshat-baiting entitlement....

I'm entitled! I like having fun as much as the next cheerful sociopath, dammit!

 

[StrayKat]

Ok so I decided to try my luck on CM. Not much luck so far but lot of fun. It is absolutely amazing what kind of mails I am getting there, from "where is your fucking pic, cunt" (that one from someone stating to be slave-in-search) to obviously c/p mails 2 pages full of what I dont want and clearly state so in my profile.

Right now I am having a discussion with a guy trying to convince me in female supremacy. My argument is that I know too many women who are plain idiots.
He said he would never submit to a plain idiot and now I am trying to convince him that submitting to a plain idiot would be supreme form of masochism.
Any further ideas welcomed.

Why none told me CM was such fun

 

[Homburg]

He said he would never submit to a plain idiot and now I am trying to convince him that submitting to a plain idiot would be supreme form of masochism.

*snort*

*golf clap*

Well played, StrayKat.

 

[StrayKat]

Thanks.
I am afraid I lost him at that point though

 

[Sir_Winston54]

I got an asshat e-mail!

hey! just browsing people in my area im new here and saw your pic (youre totally cute and my type) add me on windowwslive messengor dumbtwat@OhDoMe.com is my name on it, add me on it because i dont use email much. i have a built in cam on this new laptop i got so i can send you some photos of myself as well. ttys i hope!​

My response (I usually wouldn't, but I was feelin' kinda cranky):

Fuck you, and fuck the disease-riddled horse that buttfucks you, your mother, your sisters and your crack baby fatherless children.​

 

[StrayKat]

I got an asshat e-mail!

hey! just browsing people in my area im new here and saw your pic (youre totally cute and my type) add me on windowwslive messengor dumbtwat@OhDoMe.com is my name on it, add me on it because i dont use email much. i have a built in cam on this new laptop i got so i can send you some photos of myself as well. ttys i hope!​

My response (I usually wouldn't, but I was feelin' kinda cranky):

Fuck you, and fuck the disease-riddled horse that buttfucks you, your mother, your sisters and your crack baby fatherless children.​

Let me guess.... it was the "totally cute" that got to you?

 

[caged_doll]

Some guys only need a few words to make their asshattery known.

subject: my pic thread
Body of message: Like?
followed by the link to his thread (I'm assuming that is what it was, I didn't look), his name, and his email.

I'm sorry, but if I wanted to perv on some men, it would be to pics of my Owner in a suit, Colin Firth, or John Hamm.

 

[Sir_Winston54]

Let me guess.... it was the "totally cute" that got to you?

Actually, yes, sorta, since there are very few photos of me extant *any*where, let alone on the web, let alone on messengers.

 

[StrayKat]

Actually, yes, sorta, since there are very few photos of me extant *any*where, let alone on the web, let alone on messengers.

Yeah, I dont have any either but when I did have I was getting the "totally cute" comment all the time. It just makes me want to say "come let me show you exactly how cute I am"

Ok, I am *cute* but I am an example of how looks can be deceiving as well. Some otherwise normal people tend to act like total idiots on the intrawebz and assume everyone else does the same.

 

[graceanne]

I've been told I'm beautiful, then when I ask how they know, since they haven't seen a photo of me, they say they can tell by talking to me.

 

[Sir_Winston54]

I've been told I'm beautiful, then when I ask how they know, since they haven't seen a photo of me, they say they can tell by talking to me.

"You have a beautiful soul."

 

[Sir_Winston54]

Yeah, I dont have any either but when I did have I was getting the "totally cute" comment all the time. It just makes me want to say "come let me show you exactly how cute I am"

Ok, I am *cute* but I am an example of how looks can be deceiving as well. Some otherwise normal people tend to act like total idiots on the intrawebz and assume everyone else does the same.

As for my cuteness... well, let's see: shall we have a PhotoShop contest to see who can PS a *cute* 60 year old guy, approx 6'3" and 275 pounds, bald except for a Caesar fringe, grey beard and greying fringe? That could come up with some hilarious pics, I think, if the right PS talent got involved.

 

[StrayKat]

60 year old guy, approx 6'3" and 275 pounds, bald except for a Caesar fringe, grey beard and greying fringe?

Dunno, sounds very sexy to me, but then I was never the type that drools over "cute" men.

Not expert in PS but I dabble in Photoimpact if you want to give it a try

 

[CurlyKat]

As for my cuteness... well, let's see: shall we have a PhotoShop contest to see who can PS a *cute* 60 year old guy, approx 6'3" and 275 pounds, bald except for a Caesar fringe, grey beard and greying fringe? That could come up with some hilarious pics, I think, if the right PS talent got involved.

I'm totally accepting this challenge! Don't have the time to do it properly today, but the results shall be revealed once I do have the time to do it.

 

[satindesire]

If I had known you guys were into photo shopping pictures, I woulda asked ya'll to help ME out with some. I've got some pictures that are cute but are kinda grainy, and not very bright so they don't look like the best quality...and I am certainly not able to fix them, I just don't have the PS skills or practice. Or program, for that matter.

 

[ImOnIt]

If I had known you guys were into photo shopping pictures, I woulda asked ya'll to help ME out with some. I've got some pictures that are cute but are kinda grainy, and not very bright so they don't look like the best quality...and I am certainly not able to fix them, I just don't have the PS skills or practice. Or program, for that matter.

Brightness can be adjusted easily enough, but grainy (i guess you mean low resolution) most likely cant.


I think anything can be cute-ified by careful addition of massive eyes with reflective light spots in them.

 

[satindesire]

I think anything can be cute-ified by careful addition of massive eyes with reflective light spots in them.

*ANIME POSE*

 

[ImOnIt]

Two of these puppies and the job's a good one!

 

[CurlyKat]

I really dislike the batch-generated PMs with nothing but the senders age, sex, location, and the phrase "interested in naughty chat?" in it. At least hit on me creatively.

 

[Etoile]

Try this one on for size:
http://emailsfromcrazypeople.com/2009/11/03/who-doesnt-want-one/

 

[chy_girl]

*looks around in awe*

Oh, my. This thread's kind of like an Disney Land for grown-ups, isn't it?

Wow, I wish I had found this sooner. Though it seems like the standard blanket emails have already violated my in-box.

 

[ShyVixen]

I got this one today:

I'm curious ShyVixen, I know you like to read so when you read a book that's sexy do you end up rubbing your pussy?
I was curious about that.

 

[Sir_Winston54]

I love the way this thread comes and goes. Just as I begin to forget about it, it pops up again for a week or two, then fades away until it almost leaves my mind...