ASSHAT AWARDS: Best of the Worst PMs and Emails Received

[midwestyankee]

I got one today. LOL Anyone else get one from the office assistant?

I don't respond when they sign off with fuck u. I want the whole thing spelled out, dammit!

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

I don't respond when they sign off with fuck u. I want the whole thing spelled out, dammit!

This made me laugh out loud.

 

[wicked woman]

I got one today. LOL Anyone else get one from the office assistant?

Yes, I reported it as spam. When she can't tell from my AV/profile that the proper salutation isn't 'Hey man', clearly hasn't read my profile, and links a site to chat it's spam.

Yank didn't you mean the hole thing spelled out?

 

[the captians wench]

Yes, I reported it as spam. When she can't tell from my AV/profile that the proper salutation isn't 'Hey man', clearly hasn't read my profile, and links a site to chat it's spam.

Yank didn't you mean the hole thing spelled out?

Dude I thought the same thing! And when she says "men only" I'm like WTF?

 

[graceanne]

I don't respond when they sign off with fuck u. I want the whole thing spelled out, dammit!

LOL!!

Dude I thought the same thing! And when she says "men only" I'm like WTF?

Yeah, seriously. I figured it was something sent to everyone, cause my online name is a WOMAN'S name, my av is female, and my profile picture is female.

This does not take a rocket scientist to figure out.

 

[ultramarineblue]

LOL!!



Yeah, seriously. I figured it was something sent to everyone, cause my online name is a WOMAN'S name, my av is female, and my profile picture is female.

This does not take a rocket scientist to figure out.

Now I'm feeling left out.

 

[Etoile]

I got it too. It was a spammer. Forwarded to Laurel; the user has been banned and the URL added to the spamlist.

 

[chy_girl]

Hello there chy, little one. I hope one doesn't mind the 'little one' term....as I'm unsure wha to call you other then chy/shy *Smiles* I'm a Dominant male who came accross a post of yours making fun of a self proclaimed 'Master' who didn't seem to know a lick of what he was talking about and the fellow litsters tore him apart...notice how he didn't post again after that? *Smirks* Anyways...I then followed your posts to your profile and then to your picture thread and was amazed at your naughtiness, and also your nack at artistic but erotic pictures (You know...when you're not being a naughty girl stuffing both holes with your toys.)

So...to get to the point, I was interested in chatting with you and see just how like minded we are in hopes of developing an on going online friendship that would have intelligent and perhaps even sexually fulfilling conversations and stories. My yahoo IM and email, shoud you choose to use it, is asshat123* though dn't hesitate to contact me here if you feel more comfortable. I look forward to hearing back from you

-asshat

*names have been changed to protect the clueless.

>.<


I told my evil twin to stop pretending she was me!
/sarcasm

Seriously, if you're going to go through the work can't you pick something a little less specific?

*Wonders off to try to find pictures of herself during DP*

 

[ZRT]

Just curious, show of hands please?

How many here still actually use/hear 'little one' anymore? Not knocking it, mind.

(Though it strikes me as 'trying too hard' and 'hung up on convention', in my own personal realm of tastes.)

 

[CutieMouse]

Just curious, show of hands please?

How many here still actually use/hear 'little one' anymore? Not knocking it, mind.

(Though it strikes me as 'trying too hard' and 'hung up on convention', in my own personal realm of tastes.)

*raises hand*

I got an email on FetLife last week addressing me as "little one"... from a Dominant shorter than me.

 

[ZRT]

*raises hand*

I got an email on FetLife last week addressing me as "little one"... from a Dominant shorter than me.

Okay, to refine my question a bit:

As a part of functional, normal conversation and daily interaction in a relationship, how often do you hear/use it?

 

[CutieMouse]

Okay, to refine my question a bit:

As a part of functional, normal conversation and daily interaction in a relationship, how often do you hear/use it?

I don't, because I'm smart enough to avoid men who use it.

 

[ZRT]

I don't, because I'm smart enough to avoid men who use it.

*pats your precious widdle head*

*carefully counts how many fingers actually make it back*

 

[satindesire]

Okay, to refine my question a bit:

As a part of functional, normal conversation and daily interaction in a relationship, how often do you hear/use it?

The hubs calls me "little girl" sometimes, as an affectionate term. I.E. "How's my little girl today?" when we wake up in the morning.

However, "little one" isn't something I've ever been called. It couldn't possibly be because I'm as tall as a lot of men I know, though.

 

[graceanne]

Just curious, show of hands please?

How many here still actually use/hear 'little one' anymore? Not knocking it, mind.

(Though it strikes me as 'trying too hard' and 'hung up on convention', in my own personal realm of tastes.)

I only 'hear' it in wannabe's and porn. In real life? Well, I would laugh at anyone who called me that, and I'm vertically challenged.

I've heard my brother in law call his daughter 'little girl' and I use it on my girls, too. But it's the equivalent of 'young lady'. As in 'Excuse me, little girl?' or 'You watch your tone of voice with me, little girl'. My son is 'little man'.

 

[chy_girl]

Just curious, show of hands please?

How many here still actually use/hear 'little one' anymore? Not knocking it, mind.

(Though it strikes me as 'trying too hard' and 'hung up on convention', in my own personal realm of tastes.)

Occasionally a guy online will call me that, though the ones that I associate with
on any kind of ongoing basis don't use it often. Most of the time it's irritating given that I weigh nearly 300lbs.

I do, however, use it in real life... usually when addressing strange kittens and small children.... or small kittens and strange children, depending on the day. After about 3 years old the kids typically get regulated to Monster and an assigned number - despite smallness or strangeness.

 

[graceanne]

Occasionally a guy online will call me that, though the ones that I associate with
on any kind of ongoing basis don't use it often. Most of the time it's irritating given that I weigh nearly 300lbs.

I do, however, use it in real life... usually when addressing strange kittens and small children.... or small kittens and strange children, depending on the day. After about 3 years old the kids typically get regulated to Monster and an assigned number - despite smallness or strangeness.

LOL!!

 

[satindesire]

Occasionally a guy online will call me that, though the ones that I associate with
on any kind of ongoing basis don't use it often. Most of the time it's irritating given that I weigh nearly 300lbs.

I do, however, use it in real life... usually when addressing strange kittens and small children.... or small kittens and strange children, depending on the day. After about 3 years old the kids typically get regulated to Monster and an assigned number - despite smallness or strangeness.

what about small, strange kittens?

 

[chy_girl]

what about small, strange kittens?

Based only on personal experience kittens are either small or strange, but not both.

As for the children... well, small and strange do tend to go hand and hand there.

 

[graceanne]

Based only on personal experience kittens are either small or strange, but not both.

As for the children... well, small and strange do tend to go hand and hand there.

I was volunteering at my 11 year old class on Friday. Her teacher was doing these science experiments, and one of them involved baby food. She got the baby food out and all the girls in the class went 'aw, how cute! baby food!' and her teacher said 'class, i know it's difficult, but could you TRY to be less weird?' ROFL

Of course this was on top of one of the kids spelling (on the spelling test) biscuit 'bisquick'. LOL

 

[chy_girl]

I was volunteering at my 11 year old class on Friday. Her teacher was doing these science experiments, and one of them involved baby food. She got the baby food out and all the girls in the class went 'aw, how cute! baby food!' and her teacher said 'class, i know it's difficult, but could you TRY to be less weird?' ROFL

Of course this was on top of one of the kids spelling (on the spelling test) biscuit 'bisquick'. LOL

ROFL - just wait and see how cute they think baby food is when their darling bundle of joy narfs purred carrots all down their front and into their bras.

And at least the one kid's paying attention to what's happening in the kitchen.

 

[graceanne]

ROFL - just wait and see how cute they think baby food is when their darling bundle of joy narfs purred carrots all down their front and into their bras.

And at least the one kid's paying attention to what's happening in the kitchen.

Amen, sister. Of course it's great for you tolerance for yuck. My oldest threw up daily, due to a combination of things, for three years. I've been puked on so many times I've lost track, and cleaning puke up doesn't bother me anymore.

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

I'm still thinking about how amusing it would be tomorrow to inexplicably start addressing clients – and complete strangers – as "little one."

 

[graceanne]

I'm still thinking about how amusing it would be tomorrow to inexplicably start addressing clients – and complete strangers – as "little one."

Do it. Record it. Share it.

Good boy.

 

[chy_girl]

Amen, sister. Of course it's great for you tolerance for yuck. My oldest threw up daily, due to a combination of things, for three years. I've been puked on so many times I've lost track, and cleaning puke up doesn't bother me anymore.

Yes, but no one starts out with that level of tolerance for yuck. Show me any female who's had to dig half digested stage 2 baby food out of their bra while holding a screaming, vomit covered baby 6" from their nose and didn't gag, and I'll show you a freaking miracle of nature.

Though it's quite amusing to see the expressions on the 16 year old know-it-all's face as you hand her said screaming ball of bio-hazard and start nonchalantly flicking chunks into the sink.

I'm still thinking about how amusing it would be tomorrow to inexplicably start addressing clients – and complete strangers – as "little one."

ROFL
You need to change your "Literotica Guru" to "The Strange One."