ASSHAT AWARDS: Best of the Worst PMs and Emails Received

[graceanne]

Great, now I'm hungry.

 

[satindesire]

*spanks her hand* Bad Gracie! Bad!!

 

[Sir_Winston54]

*spanks her hand* Bad Gracie! Bad!!

Silly satin... don't you know that spanking her just encourages her?

 

[graceanne]

Silly satin... don't you know that spanking her just encourages her?

Shh! Don't ruin my fun!

 

[chy_girl]

Shh! Don't ruin my fun!

Dom's can be so mean sometimes...

 

[graceanne]

Dom's can be so mean sometimes...

Seriously! You'd think their mama's would have taught them better!

 

[neci]

i can't believe i missed all of this fun! domtart. man. i love that.
i need some milk.

 

[neci]

Seriously! You'd think their mama's would have taught them better!

ahhhhhh little doms.
they are so cute around the age of five. then.... they get big, stinky and bad.

 

[satindesire]

JUST got this one:

i'm from Australia and if you come here i'm going to
get into your pants

My reply:


If you can fit into my pants, you're welcome to wear them. I have quite a few very fashionable pair from Seven, Dereon, even some Lucky brand jeans that I got at the local "The Buckle" here at the mall.

However, you may already know this, but you'll probably look absolutely ridiculous wearing a woman's jeans. I suggest you stay in your own pants, and that way you won't be laughed at whilst in public.

 

[sinnocence]

JUST got this one:




My reply:


If you can fit into my pants, you're welcome to wear them. I have quite a few very fashionable pair from Seven, Dereon, even some Lucky brand jeans that I got at the local "The Buckle" here at the mall.

However, you may already know this, but you'll probably look absolutely ridiculous wearing a woman's jeans. I suggest you stay in your own pants, and that way you won't be laughed at whilst in public.

Lucky brand? Psshh.

*is jealous*

 

[chy_girl]

*snip*
My reply:

There are certain women who handle thing so very beautifully that it makes me proud to be of the same gender. They also make me a little jealous of their ability to put people in their place in such a way as most people don't realize that they've been insulted.

You, satin dear, are one of them.

 

[unregistered]

 

[satindesire]

Lucky brand? Psshh.

*is jealous*

Girl, they are so fabulous. No pair of jeans I have ever owned make my ass look as good as Lucky jeans.

There are certain women who handle thing so very beautifully that it makes me proud to be of the same gender. They also make me a little jealous of their ability to put people in their place in such a way as most people don't realize that they've been insulted.

You, satin dear, are one of them.

Awww, you are such a darling! *smooch!*

I heart you, SD!

I heart you too! Although I daresay I really PISSED OFF the asshat, as he was kind (Read: Stupid) enough to reply:

Hmm, i dunno...as far as best reply to an ass hat comment...it wasnt exactly a testicle shrinking -thats-you-in-your-place-and-stay-there kind of comeback ...I bet you got a lot of those "Has potential" report cards

So -I- said:

"Awww, did I hurt your widdle feewings?

That's okay, I'm sure the dozen or so other women you mass PMed with that corny little message will be MUCH nicer to you than I was."

 

[graceanne]

So -I- said:

"Awww, did I hurt your widdle feewings?

That's okay, I'm sure the dozen or so other women you mass PMed with that corny little message will be MUCH nicer to you than I was."

Oh, don't worry. I'm sure he'll assure you that you are the only special one who got a PM from him. And when you ask what makes you so special he'll say something like he read your profile and it was awesome. And that's where you say something like 'you read my profile but missed the 'taken' part? Did you think I was joking?'

Then, most times, they stop replying. But, occasionally, they decide to be even MORE annoying.

Not that I know this from experience.

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

Do guys get ASSHAT PMs? I never see any posted here. Unsolicited PMs I get from Lit women are almost always very sweet. I can only think of a couple of people that were obnoxious. I don't know if this speaks to the pleasantness of women in general, or the ridiculous male/female Lit ratio, or what.

 

[satindesire]

Oh, don't worry. I'm sure he'll assure you that you are the only special one who got a PM from him. And when you ask what makes you so special he'll say something like he read your profile and it was awesome. And that's where you say something like 'you read my profile but missed the 'taken' part? Did you think I was joking?'

Then, most times, they stop replying. But, occasionally, they decide to be even MORE annoying.

Not that I know this from experience.

Actually, his reply was more like:

haha....not really...it just reminded me of a scene from the Good Fellas where Joe Pesci is telling everybody of this amazing thing he just said ...

The worst i've had to a cheesy line was something like i'm gonna cut your cock off - thats the kind of stuff that really gets me

Do you think my logic will work on him, or does making sense fall on deaf ears?

Well, if you didn't want to star in the asshat thread, don't send asshat PMs. It's really not a hard concept, sugar, honestly.

Do guys get ASSHAT PMs? I never see any posted here. Unsolicited PMs I get from Lit women are almost always very sweet. I can only think of a couple of people that were obnoxious. I don't know if this speaks to the pleasantness of women in general, or the ridiculous male/female Lit ratio, or what.

A lot of guys ask this, and I'd say that 99% of the time, no, guys do NOT get asshat PMs. I did hear Homburg getting a few, once, but it's SO rare, because MOST asshat PM's that guys get are from other guys.

 

[satindesire]

Ooh..the plot thickens!!

But i did want to... We ass hats are in the majority around here and have our own ranking system ...i'm a low level ass hat with ambitions ...a few more posts from you and i might earn the little red AH

Just remember this before I put you on my ignore list:

Since you hadn't bothered to read my profile beyond just deciding that my pictures were sexually appealing to you, and before I flatly turned you down and gave you the opportunity to back down with SOME dignity, you were still the same gender-confused asshat as you ever were. Don't give up that incredible spirit of douchebaggery, it'll serve you well in trying to get random PM sex because you are too socially inept at getting REAL sex.

With a real woman.

In person.

Good luck to you, son! You seem like you really could use a positive word.

Enjoy my ignore list. I'm told it's a rather cozy place. You'll probably meet a LOT of like-minded people there!

 

[graceanne]

Well, he's original. He didn't end up calling names or whatever. He was able to poke fun at himself. And he didn't lie about how many people received his first post.

 

[Vixandra]

I got one:

How're you tonight? and i read your page, i know your rule about random PM's. but we can turn this into my advantage, if you're willing to be my lovely daughter.

My response was:

Right... because all the internet savvy dominant woman really wants it to be someone's "daughter."
I think not.

And honestly, even if I were on the submissive side, I wouldn't submit to a PYL who couldn't even capitalize their own pronouns.

Anyone else gotten something stupid lately?

 

[Etoile]

Random requests for father/daughter fantasies, more naked pix, nothing really good.

 

[00Syd]

I got one yesterday that was pretty atrocious. It was something like,

I don't even know why I'm PMing you because nothing in your profile caught my eye, but maybe you'll surprise me

And does the photo in your profile belong to you?

I just deleted it.

 

[Primalex]

"Hello, how are you? Hope you feel fine.
Wanna say some about me. My name is Elena, im a 30 years old, gray-blue eyes, growth 5&6.
I think that you we can become close friends or more. I haven't children and never married. I romantic, sometimes fun and ridiculous lol.
I like to be active and go out and about. i like to do things like bowling and playing pool along with camping and going to the beach.
I love to laugh and have a good time. I try not to take life to seriously. I can tell you more about myself letter if you want to talk with me.
You can ask me ANYTHING and I'll answer from the heart. If I receive from you the answer I can to you as to send the photos.
I wait for the answer,
Sincerely Elena.

P.S I sending you some my pic, if you want i can send you it more."

 

[00Syd]

"Hello, how are you? Hope you feel fine.
Wanna say some about me. My name is Elena, im a 30 years old, gray-blue eyes, growth 5&6.
I think that you we can become close friends or more. I haven't children and never married. I romantic, sometimes fun and ridiculous lol.
I like to be active and go out and about. i like to do things like bowling and playing pool along with camping and going to the beach.
I love to laugh and have a good time. I try not to take life to seriously. I can tell you more about myself letter if you want to talk with me.
You can ask me ANYTHING and I'll answer from the heart. If I receive from you the answer I can to you as to send the photos.
I wait for the answer,
Sincerely Elena.

P.S I sending you some my pic, if you want i can send you it more."

I think she likes you.

 

[Etoile]

It took me a LONG time to figure out what "growth 5&6" meant, and I'm still not sure I'm right.

 

[Primalex]

I think she likes you.

In case your text wasn't sarcasm:
Yeah, especially my purse.

Girls get PMs about tit pictures.

Guys get these cute mails from (russian) girls, who fall in love with us, they just need some money for <reason> after a few emails.