ASSHAT AWARDS: Best of the Worst PMs and Emails Received

[satindesire]

"hahahaha, or, in the common parlance, 'lol' "

....

"The common parlance"

You snob.

 

[Etoile]

"hahahaha, or, in the common parlance, 'lol' "

Or maybe:
Laughing Out Loud

 

[satindesire]

Interesting situation.

I got this PM recently:

Asshat:

You know, Ms Satin, I'm almost certain that I'm one of your fantasy guys that you'd almost consider having an affair with if you got the chance. I'll try to be careful not make you feel guilty by making suggestive comments. It's not really that big of a deal, though. You can rub your naughty little cougar cunt all you want. It's not like we'll probably ever meet in person, so you'll never have to worry about being tempted by cheating. *pats satindesire on the head like a puppy and says "poor 'ittle thing"*

My reply:

[Name removed], I'm only going to say this once. And I genuinely sorry if I cause a fight or piss you off, but I really want to make sure I am PERFECTLY clear with you right now.

I find you...a sad little one trick pony. And trust, you are NOT my ideal fantasy fodder. By the way, I'm 25, not even close to "cougar" age.

Almost all of your posts is nothing but "I'm so proud of how slutty and promiscuous I am!" And I find that gross. You seem one-sided, lacking in personality, and it seems that the only thing you're interested in or think about is fucking whoever you can get your hands on.

I prefer well-balanced men who have a variety of interests beyond banging the next willing stranger who shows up at his door. I like men who have sexual self-control and who are choosy about who shares their sexuality. I like men who like to do things other than proclaim to the hills that they've fucked 100+ people. And I'd certainly NEVER entertain, even BRIEFLY, sleeping with or fantasizing about a man like that.

You're happy being the way you are, good for you. Be slutty, be as promiscuous as you want. Talk about it, revel in it. But don't mistake promiscuity for being sexually attractive to everyone.

You don't turn me on, and you could never turn me on because I know way more about your sex life than I ever wanted to know and I find slutty people physically revolting. I don't even particularly like talking to you, most of the time, because all you ever seem to talk about is how much you love fucking anyone you can...and...to be completely frank...it gets old.

So please, stop flirting with me. I will be civil with you, I'll even talk politely to you about stuff other than sex, whenever that happens...but you are absolutely not welcome to flirt with me ever again.

His GENIUS reply:

Whatever Like I said, though, I'm not going to bring it up. You don't have to lie to me just because you feel guilty, though.

That is all.

My final reply:

[Name Removed], you are coming dangerous close to pissing me off.

I do not like you, I am not attracted to you, and if you don't stop harassing me, I will put you on ignore.

This conversation is over.


************************

I'm sorry, but this is WILDLY inappropriate. You don't just send messages like this out of the blue. It's disgusting, uncalled for and rude. I don't care if you're a long-time member of this forum, YOU SHOULD KNOW BETTER THAN THIS SHIT.

 

[Etoile]

I find the "I'm super awesome, you can't resist me, you'll fantasize and dream about me" OUT OF THE BLUE to be particularly grotesque.

 

[satindesire]

I find the "I'm super awesome, you can't resist me, you'll fantasize and dream about me" OUT OF THE BLUE to be particularly grotesque.

This guy knows I'm married. Knows that I'm faithful to my husband. This isn't some random wanker who just joined looking for a quick thrill. That's why it makes these messages particularly disturbing. The arrogance just blows my mind.

I've made it very clear in the past to this person that I won't respond to his flirtation, he MUST be drunk or...high...or SOMETHING, to even think that this would be 'okay' to do.

I swear to God.

 

[Etoile]

My vote is for drunk.

 

[satindesire]

My vote is for drunk.

Hopefully he lives in like, London or something, then, because here it's 11 in the morning.

PSA: Drunk PMing. Just don't do it. Because if you do, you'll end up on the asshat thread.

 

[Etoile]

It's 1am here, so on that note, I will go to bed.

 

[zarngash]

Is that a loss? Would you like us to concoct so lame PMs for you?

I never get PMs!

I have to live vicariously through you ladys; course I have to switch the gender parts to the female version so it is appealing.

I just don't get it -

(if the ladies in this forum pm'd me little teasers I'd be. . . well I'd be. . . umm. . . speechless. . . and maybe a little flattered. . . I guess some of us guys like our ego stroked along with other things :-D )

- is it really that annoying or is it more like sport?

Seriously curious. . .

 

[Claire73]

Interesting situation.

I got this PM recently:

Asshat:

You know, Ms Satin, I'm almost certain that I'm one of your fantasy guys that you'd almost consider having an affair with if you got the chance. I'll try to be careful not make you feel guilty by making suggestive comments. It's not really that big of a deal, though. You can rub your naughty little cougar cunt all you want. It's not like we'll probably ever meet in person, so you'll never have to worry about being tempted by cheating. *pats satindesire on the head like a puppy and says "poor 'ittle thing"*


My final reply:

[Name Removed], you are coming dangerous close to pissing me off.

Not sure why you removed the name, because even though I haven't been around very long, I guessed who wrote you the PM before reading it half way through, lol.

 

[satindesire]

Not sure why you removed the name, because even though I haven't been around very long, I guessed who wrote you the PM before reading it half way through, lol.

It's against site rules to post PMs on the forums with identifying tags. I.E. Names.

I never get PMs!

I have to live vicariously through you ladys; course I have to switch the gender parts to the female version so it is appealing.

I just don't get it -

(if the ladies in this forum pm'd me little teasers I'd be. . . well I'd be. . . umm. . . speechless. . . and maybe a little flattered. . . I guess some of us guys like our ego stroked along with other things :-D )

- is it really that annoying or is it more like sport?

Seriously curious. . .

Please, trust me. Fishing for 'sexy PMs' won't win you any favors. Especially if you do it in the thread where we make fun of assholes who send us unwanted PMs.

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

I never get unwanted PM's. I guess I don't have that sexy thing going?

*grins*

Or maybe it's because I am rude and don't go in for opening pm's from people I don't know.

 

[Claire73]

It's against site rules to post PMs on the forums with identifying tags. I.E. Names.

Ah, OK....

*walks off to go and read the site rules*

 

[zarngash]

The distinction between females getting pm's and being bothered enough about them to reply and post in a thread is an interesting discussion nonetheless.

Have you found that your PM's for cybering have increased or decreased by having a PM disclaimer in your sig?

I just read your most recent pm post, which I can understand that if you have an online friendship with someone, that sort of pm could feel inappropriate. That said, going back to my post you quoted and responded to: Is posting the random cyber pm really annoying or is this more like fun sport like shooting fish in a barrel?

For me it appears like fun sport and to kill the time, otherwise if it was so annoying and distasteful why would you spend energy and time on it. Am I misunderstanding something?

 

[zarngash]

*grins*

Or maybe it's because I am rude and don't go in for opening pm's from people I don't know.

Now that I understand.

 

[satindesire]

The distinction between females getting pm's and being bothered enough about them to reply and post in a thread is an interesting discussion nonetheless.

Have you found that your PM's for cybering have increased or decreased by having a PM disclaimer in your sig?

They've decreased dramatically. I still get the odd one or two here and there, from chodes who can't be bothered to read a profile. But there ya go.

I just read your most recent pm post, which I can understand that if you have an online friendship with someone, that sort of pm could feel inappropriate. That said, going back to my post you quoted and responded to: Is posting the random cyber pm really annoying or is this more like fun sport like shooting fish in a barrel?

He wasn't my friend, but here's the thing, he's known me for long enough to know better than to PM me like that.

Let me pose your question to you like this: How would your mother feel if a complete stranger walked up to her, and asked her "Would you suck my cock?"

Now you tell me how a woman would react to a cyber request via PM. Because it's the same damn thing.

For me it appears like fun sport and to kill the time, otherwise if it was so annoying and distasteful why would you spend energy and time on it. Am I miss understanding something?

You're missing the point. We post here in the asshat thread for several reasons:

One: Because it's nice knowing we're not the only female being harassed by stupid horny guys.

Two: Because some of the PMs are good for a laugh, if only through their sheer idiocy.

Three: Because it feels good to vent about how they sometimes make us angry. Women feel better when they talk about things that upset them. That's how women communicate.

 

[Netzach]

I never get unwanted PM's. I guess I don't have that sexy thing going?

*grins*

Or maybe it's because I am rude and don't go in for opening pm's from people I don't know.

Same.

I owe *friends* PM's often. I certainly circular-file other ones. I'm more liable to ignore stupid in my inbox than stupid outside it.

 

[zarngash]

You're missing the point. We post here in the asshat thread for several reasons:

One: Because it's nice knowing we're not the only female being harassed by stupid horny guys.

Two: Because some of the PMs are good for a laugh, if only through their sheer idiocy.

Three: Because it feels good to vent about how they sometimes make us angry. Women feel better when they talk about things that upset them. That's how women communicate.

Last thing first - yes, I was missing the point, save for number two cause that sounds like sport.

They've decreased dramatically. I still get the odd one or two here and there, from chodes who can't be bothered to read a profile. But there ya go.



He wasn't my friend, but here's the thing, he's known me for long enough to know better than to PM me like that.

Let me pose your question to you like this: How would your mother feel if a complete stranger walked up to her, and asked her "Would you suck my cock?"

Now you tell me how a woman would react to a cyber request via PM. Because it's the same damn thing.

I would view my mother being on this board and being approached to cyber or meet in RL completely different than someone approaching her in a RL situation.

Its about context for me. This board's context is different than a board about gardening and most definitely different than any RL context (unless she goes to meet and greets, but I would suppose there is an etiquette there as well). However leg-humpers abound everywhere.

FWIW, thanks for answering the questions.

 

[satindesire]

Its about context for me. This board's context is different than a board about gardening and most definitely different than any RL context (unless she goes to meet and greets, but I would suppose there is an etiquette there as well). However leg-humpers abound everywhere.

FWIW, thanks for answering the questions.

Just because YOU take this board as a porn board where everything's very sexual, doesn't mean everyone else does. YOUR context of this board may not be shared by other people, do you understand what I mean?

That's the failure that these asshats don't get.

"Oh, they're on Literotica! They MUST want to fuck!" Wrong.

No, I'm on literotica to learn and talk about BDSM. That's why I joined, that's why I stayed. I didn't come here to cyber, to meet people, or anything else. I'm happily married and not seeking ANYTHING beyond completely platonic friendship on this board. The fact that it has erotica on it has nothing to do with why I joined. Get my drift?

Leg humpers do abound everywhere, but that doesn't mean they have some sort of right to harass me just because I'm here.

 

[WriterDom]

by Anonymous06/02/10

A Very Shocking Discovery About Literotica
After reading all 3 parts of Love, I googled BLoved and ended up in "the ethics of casual bdsm discussion board. What a SHOCK to read how members treat=verbally abuse each other and especially BLoved!!! Very unprofessional.

 

[FloggingMolly]

by Anonymous06/02/10

A Very Shocking Discovery About Literotica
After reading all 3 parts of Love, I googled BLoved and ended up in "the ethics of casual bdsm discussion board. What a SHOCK to read how members treat=verbally abuse each other and especially BLoved!!! Very unprofessional.

Unprofessional?!

We're posters on an internet forum. It's not a fucking job. You can't be 'unprofessional' if you aren't a professional. Asshat. Get a thesaurus.

 

[Etoile]

Tee hee:
http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=84774

 

[Kikori]

Closest I've come to it so far was actually a Yahoo chat just now.

Them: hi...wanna chat w/fellow literotica fan?
Me: About what, I wonder?
Them: well, let's just get to know each other and see where it takes us
Me: Heheh... If you insist.
Me: I still wonder, "about what".
Them: well, given that we are both on literotica, it could very easily get sexual
Me: Assuming I intend to cheat on my girlfriend. =^_^=
Them: lol...chatting isn't cheating

And it proceeds to turn into they realize my gender and shut up.

 

[graceanne]

Heh. I think my PMs have been a little less entertaining 'cause guys are never sure if I'm a man or woman. XD

Ooh, ooh, ooh! I know! I know!

Interesting situation.

I got this PM recently:
.
.
.

I'm sorry, but this is WILDLY inappropriate. You don't just send messages like this out of the blue. It's disgusting, uncalled for and rude. I don't care if you're a long-time member of this forum, YOU SHOULD KNOW BETTER THAN THIS SHIT.

I have to say this screams troll to me, cause I doubt that this person is that stupid. They're trying to piss you off.

No, I'm on literotica to learn and talk about BDSM. That's why I joined, that's why I stayed. I didn't come here to cyber, to meet people, or anything else. I'm happily married and not seeking ANYTHING beyond completely platonic friendship on this board. The fact that it has erotica on it has nothing to do with why I joined. Get my drift?

Yep, me too.

Unprofessional?!

We're posters on an internet forum. It's not a fucking job. You can't be 'unprofessional' if you aren't a professional. Asshat. Get a thesaurus.

LOL

Closest I've come to it so far was actually a Yahoo chat just now.

.
.
.

And it proceeds to turn into they realize my gender and shut up.

I think you're having WAY too much fun fucking with people.

 

[satindesire]

I have to say this screams troll to me, cause I doubt that this person is that stupid. They're trying to piss you off.

I DO believe they were trying to piss me off because I've made it quite clear in the past that his flirtation made me uncomfortable. Either he was being an asshole because he thought it would be funny, or he was drunk.

Either way, I don't expect that kind of BS from an actual member, you know what I mean? Especially not one that KNOWS ME.