ASSHAT AWARDS: Best of the Worst PMs and Emails Received

[satindesire]

I just got an asshat PM myself.

Enjoy.

Haven't you read any of my messages before: I don't respond to Trolls.

Troll = a person who has no life outside of harassing other people on the internet. You seriously need to get a life Hun!

Huh. This seems like a response to me.

You've done more than your fair share of trolling 'Hun'. If it's not immediately obvious, let me enlighten you...your presence on the How To board is about as welcome as a Herpes sore in an orgy, mmkay?

I'm not the one with "life" issues, princess.

Here's a pro-tip, projecting your problems on other people don't make for a flattering internet persona.

 

[Mads]

Come back!

Yeah the 'please' made me laugh.

You sure it wasn't an alt of yours......?

I only have one alt, and thats only cos I forgot about it when I came back after a few years break... definitely wasn't me, I'm too sweet n genuine, apparently.

 

[BiBunny]

I *really* hate to say this because I know how y'all enjoy antagonizing the idiots, but y'all do know that a lot of them are probably getting off on the "humiliation," right? You're free to do what you want, of course, but I dunno if I'd want to provide the asshats with free wank material.

 

[Curious_in_Cali]

Epic win.

Agreed!

 

[Cleopatra]

http://paranoiafiles.com/images/miss_cleo.gif

She's definitely NOT the Miss Cleo with psychic powers.

Because she thought I was an alt for a really long time, and part of her still does. Don't lie, Cleo!

I've come to realize that it doesn't matter if you are, or aren't, an alt.

As long as you hand over the tots, everyone will survive.

 

[Aurantica]

Oh noes! Whatever shall you do?! You were so depending on his interest in you, after all.

Oh yes, because its not like theres a billion other damn guys out there.

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

Here's what you say next time.

Really sharp candy cane. Hehehe. You live for this, don't you?

I've come to realize that it doesn't matter if you are, or aren't, an alt.

As long as you hand over the tots, everyone will survive.

No way you can have my flippin' tots, Cleo. But I did make you a sweet drawing of your head, on a Liger. It took my like three hours to finish the shading on your upper lip.

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3457/3985855601_8e6f13e58e.jpg

 

[satindesire]

Really sharp candy cane. Hehehe. You live for this, don't you?

Now whatever gave you that idea?

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

Now whatever gave you that idea?

The foam coming out of your mouth.

 

[lilkiki]

So I got this pm... and this is all it said:

sorry for the pm if you are busy!

... Soooo many issues at work here.

 

[satindesire]

The foam coming out of your mouth.

That's toothpaste, you tard.

I just ate dinner, and Julia Roberts once said, "You shouldn't neglect your gums!"

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

That's toothpaste, you tard.

I just ate dinner, and Julia Roberts once said, "You shouldn't neglect your gums!"

If you're buying it in industrial-size drums, like she does, no wonder you're foaming. She's got a lot of gummy real estate to cover.

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_zaAjo9PsyjY/TLIUdk9z6WI/AAAAAAAAABo/l0eSlRNkqlg/s1600/Julia-Roberts3.jpg

 

[FloggingMolly]

hmmm I need a thread for nice polite pm's that proposition me with talking dirty to the sender.

 

[Aurantica]

hmmm I need a thread for nice polite pm's that proposition me with talking dirty to the sender.

Dont we all?

 

[satindesire]

If you're buying it in industrial-size drums, like she does, no wonder you're foaming. She's got a lot of gummy real estate to cover.

My smile is almost as big as hers.

 

[FloggingMolly]

My smile is almost as big as hers.

but much, much prettier

 

[Cleopatra]

No way you can have my flippin' tots, Cleo. But I did make you a sweet drawing of your head, on a Liger. It took my like three hours to finish the shading on your upper lip.

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3457/3985855601_8e6f13e58e.jpg

It's probably the best drawing you've ever done. ; )

 

[FloggingMolly]

Dge is an alt, his real name is floggingmolly jnr.

 

[satindesire]

but much, much prettier

Awww!

 

[Aurantica]

Here's one I got recently. I blocked him after this. Prior to recieving this, I had posted a comment about wishing that the ferry my sister was on would sink. I had meant it to mean a little annoyance and a reality check for her. Clearly this guy had other plans.

Him:
is she giving you competition with him that you want such a harsh step to be taken

Me:
Is punctuation physically impossible for you?

Him:
no it is not babe i am ASSHAT

Me:
Not interested.

 

[FloggingMolly]

yup, definately an asshat.

Do we think it's ok to post PMs that we suspect the writer will see and recognise?

 

[Sir_Winston54]

yup, definately an asshat.

Do we think it's ok to post PMs that we suspect the writer will see and recognise?

Nothing wrong with the writer recognizing that he/she is considered an asshat, and why, as long as you don't post something that makes him/her identifiable to others, like his/her actual screen name.

Maybe if the asshat sees why he/she is considered an asshat, it will motivate him/her to modify his behavior and make it more acceptable.



All the above, of course, applies to all asshats but me.

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

Dge is an alt, his real name is floggingmolly jnr.

SHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! Loose lips sink alts! :caning::

Here's one I got recently. I blocked him after this. Prior to recieving this, I had posted a comment about wishing that the ferry my sister was on would sink. I had meant it to mean a little annoyance and a reality check for her. Clearly this guy had other plans.

Him:
is she giving you competition with him that you want such a harsh step to be taken

Me:
Is punctuation physically impossible for you?

Him:
no it is not babe i am ASSHAT

Me:
Not interested.

Grammar Domme.

Nothing wrong with the writer recognizing that he/she is considered an asshat, and why, as long as you don't post something that makes him/her identifiable to others, like his/her actual screen name.

Maybe if the asshat sees why he/she is considered an asshat, it will motivate him/her to modify his behavior and make it more acceptable.

All the above, of course, applies to all asshats but me.

What he said.

 

[Sir_Winston54]

Here's one I got recently. I blocked him after this. Prior to recieving this, I had posted a comment about wishing that the ferry my sister was on would sink. I had meant it to mean a little annoyance and a reality check for her. Clearly this guy had other plans.

Him: is she giving you competition with him that you want such a harsh step to be taken

Me: Is punctuation physically impossible for you?

Him: no it is not babe i am ASSHAT

Me: Not interested.

Grammar Domme.

:: Makes mental note to nominate Aurantica to the BDSM Fora Grammar Nazis. ::

 

[FloggingMolly]

Nothing wrong with the writer recognizing that he/she is considered an asshat, and why, as long as you don't post something that makes him/her identifiable to others, like his/her actual screen name.

Maybe if the asshat sees why he/she is considered an asshat, it will motivate him/her to modify his behavior and make it more acceptable.



All the above, of course, applies to all asshats but me.

Don't worry SW, I always thought all your smutty pms I received were just fine