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ASSHAT AWARDS: Best of the Worst PMs and Emails Received

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FloggingMolly said:
roflawl: I'm surprised it's worked tbh. I think you'll find getting involved in threads and making friends by chatting will get more results than randomly PMing, but that's just my two cents.
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Thanks a lot =) I think I will stop pming randomly then XD... after this last one.... LOL

Guess I should start posting in the boards =o new to em. But been reading the stories for years. Oooo, maybe you could be my first board friend? =)
 
roflawl said:
Thanks a lot =) I think I will stop pming randomly then XD... after this last one.... LOL

Guess I should start posting in the boards =o new to em. But been reading the stories for years. Oooo, maybe you could be my first board friend? =)
Click to expand...

Please don't take this as me being mean, but that came across as a little creepy, okay?

Tone the enthusiasm down a little and just be cool. You'll make friends here if you let the blood flow back to the top half of your body and relax, I promise. :)
 
I had the 'do you enjoy' one too! Being me, I decided to reply, and faked the first 'quote'. I do love a bit of sarcasm, though it probably goes right over most guys' heads!

My response:

[Fake Quote Asshat]Hi, how are you? I read some of your posts and found them interesting and thought-provoking. I'd love to chat and get to know you better!' [End Fake Quote]

Oh, shit, wrong PM! THIS is what I'm replying to! Doh!

Quote:
Originally Posted by ***********
Watching a man masturbate on cam?

Umm, No thanks.
DMama.
 
Not nessicarily an asshat , just some spam I got a while ago



chat and have fun

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

hi asshat here from asshatland---pm me lets chat and have some fun here and if you like i can have my husband join us------asshat


*sigh*
 
Aurantica said:
Not nessicarily an asshat , just some spam I got a while ago



chat and have fun

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

hi asshat here from asshatland---pm me lets chat and have some fun here and if you like i can have my husband join us------asshat


*sigh*
Click to expand...

Yeah, I get them from that poster alot.
 
Oh, and this gem:
x

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

little girl you're cute
 
Oh I get some real dandies.

Today I got asked what I was wearing. And that was the whole PM.

I get just tons of the generic "I like your [tits, ass, fetish] so let's IM!" nonsense.

A couple weeks ago I got one saying that my bio in my profile is a boner-killer. Gee, think that might just be the point?
 
My favorite today was from the guy who sends me one every couple days with a varying number of M's as the subject line:

"i bet u taste so creamy good."

Um, really?
 
I doubt anyone's noticed that I've retouched the satchels under my eyes in my av...

A couple weeks back I got this;

Your Avatar:

please go back to your other one. the current one really creeps me out. you look like an ugly Steve Buscemi[/QUOTE
uglier than Steve Buschemi?

Damn. That's pretty harsh! :D

But then I looked very carefully at the av and yeah-- it's deteriorated some. So I made myself look more like a pretty Steve Buschemi.

:D:D:D
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My very first!

I'm getting bolder and braver. The response to my last post was so warm and wonderful, I'm going to do it again! Until today, all my pm messages have been polite and respectful. This one? I laughed out loud. I tried to think of how y'all would reply, and hope I did okay.

Without further ado:
Originally Posted by *********

Have yoou realized yet you are here to do what i tell you and pleasure me in whatever ways needed?

My reply?
You are kidding, right? This is a joke? You're really a friend of mine, but using a dummy/fake user name? Y'all are pulling a prank on me, is that it? Good One!

If not? Think again. If you'd said hello and asked if we could have a conversation, I maybe would have considered speaking with you.

Bye
 
brokensub said:
I'm getting bolder and braver. The response to my last post was so warm and wonderful, I'm going to do it again! Until today, all my pm messages have been polite and respectful. This one? I laughed out loud. I tried to think of how y'all would reply, and hope I did okay.

Without further ado:
Originally Posted by *********

Have yoou realized yet you are here to do what i tell you and pleasure me in whatever ways needed?

My reply?
You are kidding, right? This is a joke? You're really a friend of mine, but using a dummy/fake user name? Y'all are pulling a prank on me, is that it? Good One!

If not? Think again. If you'd said hello and asked if we could have a conversation, I maybe would have considered speaking with you.

Bye
Click to expand...
Nicely done!
I like to see what happens when I poke a pin in their inflated egos. It's an art form here.
 
roflawl said:
Thanks a lot =) I think I will stop pming randomly then XD... after this last one.... LOL

Guess I should start posting in the boards =o new to em. But been reading the stories for years. Oooo, maybe you could be my first board friend? =)
Click to expand...

Me too!! I'm super new. 8-0 <----WHoa look how surprised that face is haha!

Don't listen the others, they're a bunch of grumpies sometimes.
Let's be best boardfriends k? Holla back soon!
 
I so so so rarely get asshat pms... and even then, I usually just delete.

But this I liked... the bulk of the content is rather stock standard, but then i got to the last 2 words, which left me scratching my head in 'wtf?' wonder.

randomdude said:
do you like being slapped by your lovers while performing oral? my master and mistress have made me a live in privates licker. the face slapping that pours down on my face and head make my tongue licks very intense and young natured.
Click to expand...
 
Lizzie_Borden said:
I so so so rarely get asshat pms... and even then, I usually just delete.

But this I liked... the bulk of the content is rather stock standard, but then i got to the last 2 words, which left me scratching my head in 'wtf?' wonder.
Click to expand...

:confused: Of or pertaining to the consumption of a tootsie pop, maybe?
 
ElijaRDC said:
Oh I get some real dandies.

Today I got asked what I was wearing. And that was the whole PM.

I get just tons of the generic "I like your [tits, ass, fetish] so let's IM!" nonsense.

A couple weeks ago I got one saying that my bio in my profile is a boner-killer. Gee, think that might just be the point?
Click to expand...
Ohhhh, so that was the point! Doh!
 
kiwi_submissive said:
This guy must copy the exact same message, I think its the 4th one I have received and it never changes:

Hi, its a pleasure to meet you. I did have a question I was curious to ask but I must confess it is a deliciously naughty one xxx
Click to expand...

I have gotten this question this PM twice from the same guy.
 
hi are you single or attaced

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

im jius curious

also how old r u


im ASSHAT from nyc 27 not single




My second ever bad PM. My reply? "Yawn"
His user name shows as much imagination as his PM does.
 
A recent exchange:

Asshat:
Have you got any pics?

Me:
I have plenty of pics. I have pics of my dog, my car, pics from several vacations, and several artsy pics I took a few years ago.

Asshat:
Would you take some pics of you in some panties please.

Me:
No, I dont send pics. If you read my bio you'd know that.
 
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