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ASSHAT AWARDS: Best of the Worst PMs and Emails Received

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I almost had a good one today, but she apologized and went away when I started to have fun. :(
 
Stella_Omega said:
Oh man...
Baron (ColorAnimal) von (German township)
Master of Schloss Rot.

We can call him Baron BlueBadger which at least is less trite than most Pack Predator critters.

It's just as funny to me this morning as it was last night. Master of Schloss Rot! I didn't make any zombie jokes.

He was complaining that Newbies have no idea of The Rules which We have learned(if we are Real Lifestyle Players) and that ProDommes ignore the Rules and talk loudly five feet away from Flogging Scenes Which Require quiet and concentration (In which case they should not be played in public venues, is my personal feeling, and anyone who acts as if a public dungeon club is their personal space needs their head examined) and We should Do Something about these rude upstarts.

you can probably guess that I asked him who "We" is, and which protocol do these Universal Rules derive from, and who will make up for the lost revenue for the club owners if they get exclusive. because they have leases and insurance to pay.

"We" is The Lifestyle (I'll take "tautologies" for five hundred, Alex) and there are classes i can go to if I need to learn about protocol, and it was better back in the old days.

This morning I found a PM from him in which he tells me that back in the eighties he was wearing full leather (at a sex club in North Hollywood no less) and he felt a slap on the butt and it was two men who had thought he was gay and he folded his arms and stared at them and they folded to their knees and begged his pardon.

I said I was not surprised that guys *in North Hollywood* thought he was gay, since, in America, straight men don't generally wear full leather *to sex parties* *Because they don't want to be mistaken for gay* and I did not comment on the "falling to their knees " part.

But I am a petty and vindictive person. So I bring it here.
Click to expand...

Oooh, this sounds an awful lot like someone I encountered some time back. Except that it was in real life instead of PMs. Delightful.
 
Stella_Omega said:
Oh man...
Baron (ColorAnimal) von (German township)
Master of Schloss Rot.

We can call him Baron BlueBadger which at least is less trite than most Pack Predator critters.

It's just as funny to me this morning as it was last night. Master of Schloss Rot! I didn't make any zombie jokes.

He was complaining that Newbies have no idea of The Rules which We have learned(if we are Real Lifestyle Players) and that ProDommes ignore the Rules and talk loudly five feet away from Flogging Scenes Which Require quiet and concentration (In which case they should not be played in public venues, is my personal feeling, and anyone who acts as if a public dungeon club is their personal space needs their head examined) and We should Do Something about these rude upstarts.

you can probably guess that I asked him who "We" is, and which protocol do these Universal Rules derive from, and who will make up for the lost revenue for the club owners if they get exclusive. because they have leases and insurance to pay.

"We" is The Lifestyle (I'll take "tautologies" for five hundred, Alex) and there are classes i can go to if I need to learn about protocol, and it was better back in the old days.

This morning I found a PM from him in which he tells me that back in the eighties he was wearing full leather (at a sex club in North Hollywood no less) and he felt a slap on the butt and it was two men who had thought he was gay and he folded his arms and stared at them and they folded to their knees and begged his pardon.

I said I was not surprised that guys *in North Hollywood* thought he was gay, since, in America, straight men don't generally wear full leather *to sex parties* *Because they don't want to be mistaken for gay* and I did not comment on the "falling to their knees " part.

But I am a petty and vindictive person. So I bring it here.
Click to expand...

I was a witness to this exchange (fet, right?)
 
seela said:
Oooh, this sounds an awful lot like someone I encountered some time back. Except that it was in real life instead of PMs. Delightful.
Click to expand...
Yes-- and it could possibly happen in real life because the guy is semi-local to me. It's hard to point and laugh when you know you might have to face his hurt and bewilderment IRL... But I manage.

teknight said:
I was a witness to this exchange (fet, right?)
Click to expand...
yeah... and there were PMs after that.
 
Stella_Omega said:
yeah... and there were PMs after that.
Click to expand...

Stuff like this is the reason why I stay on Fet, honestly, that and my girl. The groups that share messages like these are always great for a larf. :D I always wonder if anyone ever peeks into this thread or those groups and go "OMG I once sent a message like that!"
 
Several long years ago now when I still patrolled Bondage.com I was in a rut where I wasn't dating because I had been burned a few times and in my profile I had listed that a vibrator was better than a man.

One day I received a PM that made me sit back, laugh and shake my head at the same time because it was truly obvious this dolt had not read further into my profile much less read half the stuff he should have read to get to the comment about the vibrator...

Whats wrong wit men My mstress and I both laughed at ur profile We ned another sub and msrteress thinks we need to talk to you and that yu need to learn to enjoy a cock agan.

OK first of all at that time I know what my profile said even before they came to the part about the vibrator. It said that I was single and not interested, That I was not interested in a polyamorous relationship either (Tried it, been burned), and it also listed me as Heterosexual.

So in particular fashion I actually replied because I was in a snarky mood that day...

I can see by your message that you really did not read my profile. I have no use for a mistress because I'm heterosexual. If you had read my profile you would have seen that I am not into a polyamorous relationship either. There's two big words for you that you might need your mistress to decipher for you. Or you might need a dictionary because if your Mistress made you write that message to me, she might not be able to decipher those big words either. I do indeed still enjoy a good cock so long as it is attached to a good man with a brain who can actually write English as well. Add to this that man needs to be Dominant, which you are not. Please be advised that after I hit send, you are being blocked.

I did indeed block him too!
I still giggle now and then thinking of that one when I pull out my vibrator.
 
satindesire said:
Stuff like this is the reason why I stay on Fet, honestly, that and my girl. The groups that share messages like these are always great for a larf. :D I always wonder if anyone ever peeks into this thread or those groups and go "OMG I once sent a message like that!"
Click to expand...

I don't think that a high level of self-awareness is a prominent feature among asshats.
 
Etoile said:
Was cleaning up dead links on my site and came across one that was not actually dead, but had moved. Fits this thread perfectly:
http://www.shanmonster.com/icqvert/index.html
Click to expand...

I know that no PM I've ever received here to date, and none I will receive in the future will come even CLOSE to being as bad as these.

I need to take a break. My sides hurt from laughing so hard. Thanks for sharing! :)
 
Etoile said:
Was cleaning up dead links on my site and came across one that was not actually dead, but had moved. Fits this thread perfectly:
http://www.shanmonster.com/icqvert/index.html
Click to expand...

Brilliant!

Babyslave said:
I know that no PM I've ever received here to date, and none I will receive in the future will come even CLOSE to being as bad as these.

I need to take a break. My sides hurt from laughing so hard. Thanks for sharing! :)
Click to expand...

Spend any amount of time in yahoo chat and you'll see it soon enough. Sadly this is par for the course in most well populated chat programs.
 
satindesire said:
Brilliant!



Spend any amount of time in yahoo chat and you'll see it soon enough. Sadly this is par for the course in most well populated chat programs.
Click to expand...


I dunno. It's funny reading these here. I don't think I could stomach a steady diet of them.
 
Babyslave said:
I dunno. It's funny reading these here. I don't think I could stomach a steady diet of them.
Click to expand...

It's kind of nice when it's fresh, though. Like watching a bar fight while you're at the bar rather than watching snippets of it on a repeat of Cops at 2am. :D
 
Ahh yes, yahoo Chat. This is why I rarely use Yahoo IM anymore because I had to set myself invisible there to keep myself from getting constantly asked for sex, flings, and a host of other things I would rather not have to deal with from complete strangers.

Yahoo IM proved to me the one thing I had already learned from working retail all these years - That 99% of the human population is a bunch of stupid ignorant idiots who cannot read or write despite having gone through school. :mad:

I had a woman once out of the blue IM me and start screaming at me for fucking her boyfriend. Odd as at the time I was with absolutely no one and was into year three of four straight with no sex! When I told her she had the wrong person and that I had no idea who she was, she flipped out even more and called me a liar. Wow. :eek: I promptly put her on my ignore list.
 
GrimsPet said:
Ahh yes, yahoo Chat. This is why I rarely use Yahoo IM anymore because I had to set myself invisible there to keep myself from getting constantly asked for sex, flings, and a host of other things I would rather not have to deal with from complete strangers.

Yahoo IM proved to me the one thing I had already learned from working retail all these years - That 99% of the human population is a bunch of stupid ignorant idiots who cannot read or write despite having gone through school. :mad:

I had a woman once out of the blue IM me and start screaming at me for fucking her boyfriend. Odd as at the time I was with absolutely no one and was into year three of four straight with no sex! When I told her she had the wrong person and that I had no idea who she was, she flipped out even more and called me a liar. Wow. :eek: I promptly put her on my ignore list.
Click to expand...


See, it's that kinda thing that I prefer to avoid. I've never been one for uncomfortable situations. Avoiding confrontations, if I can help it. And to be honest, the random idiotic PM's that I've received here? They're one time deals. I laugh and if I'm in the mood, I'll reply. There's been only one that didn't want to end the communication when I nicely said I wasn't interested.
 
I got a good one today over PM here!

"Has your Master made you lactate?"

That's all it said. I laughed and put the nut on ignore. :D
 
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