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ASSHAT AWARDS: Best of the Worst PMs and Emails Received

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Lord_Steve said:
ahaha aurantica you are catnip for krazykats


there's something so endearingly pathetic about approaching a sub online and being all "ME TARZAN YOU JANE ok we cool? SUCK MY DICK because that is like a thing you are into, generally, right? TALKING TO WOMAN IRL IS SO MUCH WORK BUT YOU, YOU ARE MY SUBMISSIVE WAIFU DREAMGIRL LET'S U AND I MAKE A SEXUAL ALPHABET"
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Its fun to mess with them. Although sometimes I wonder if that helps bring out the crazy a little wee bit.
 
Lord_Steve said:
there's something so endearingly pathetic about approaching a sub online and being all "ME TARZAN YOU JANE ok we cool? SUCK MY DICK because that is like a thing you are into, generally, right? TALKING TO WOMAN IRL IS SO MUCH WORK BUT YOU, YOU ARE MY SUBMISSIVE WAIFU DREAMGIRL LET'S U AND I MAKE A SEXUAL ALPHABET"
Click to expand...

And they totally do exactly that. That's the amazing thing!

Somebody propositioned me for marriage a couple of weeks ago. All he said was that if it was me in my avatar, marry him and he'd pamper me. I ignored it. Then he PM'd me again last week asking for marriage. WTF?!
 
Etoile said:
And they totally do exactly that. That's the amazing thing!

Somebody propositioned me for marriage a couple of weeks ago. All he said was that if it was me in my avatar, marry him and he'd pamper me. I ignored it. Then he PM'd me again last week asking for marriage. WTF?!
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There's apparently been a run on that sort of thing.
 
Not sure if this one has been posted yet, but it made me laugh.

wannabe prince said:
OMG! Finally! Whew...

I'm sorry it took me so long to finally reach you, I've been busy with slaying
dragons, getting turned into a frog and rescuing damsels in distress and freeing
captured unicorns.

P.S. You are the princess right?
Click to expand...

My response: No, sorry. You just missed her. She left an hour ago to hit up the lesbian tavern down the way.
 
Etoile said:
And they totally do exactly that. That's the amazing thing!

Somebody propositioned me for marriage a couple of weeks ago. All he said was that if it was me in my avatar, marry him and he'd pamper me. I ignored it. Then he PM'd me again last week asking for marriage. WTF?!
Click to expand...

I just got that PM. This guy is pathetic.
 
Etoile said:
And they totally do exactly that. That's the amazing thing!

Somebody propositioned me for marriage a couple of weeks ago. All he said was that if it was me in my avatar, marry him and he'd pamper me. I ignored it. Then he PM'd me again last week asking for marriage. WTF?!
Click to expand...

..... Looking at that avatar, I kind of have the exact same reaction. WOW!
I'd never be all troll-y about it tho. :cathappy:
 
my contribution for the week is as follows-

You don't know it yet...
...but I'm going to be fucking that sweet ass of yours within a month when I travel down your way.

Um, was that gentlemenly enough???

xo

asshat
 
I don't seem to get the asshats any more. I have to live vicariously though PMs to my girl.
 
FungiUg said:
Hey Winston. :D

Doin' okay. Been through the wringer, comin' out the other side. You can always find me on Fetlife, but I'm generally only active in the New Zealand threads there.
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Do I have you on my friends' list over there, Catman?
 
This is less an "Asshat" and more a "wow what an idiot..."

Someone sent me a (very polite) message asking if I would be interested in any naughty chat.

I tried to reply to tell him no....and he's disabled PMs *facepalm*

Just saying...if you want fast food to pass you your order, you probably should roll down your window...

At least I don't have hurt his self-esteem by saying no? :p
 
bhndblueyes88 said:
This is less an "Asshat" and more a "wow what an idiot..."

Someone sent me a (very polite) message asking if I would be interested in any naughty chat.

I tried to reply to tell him no....and he's disabled PMs *facepalm*

Just saying...if you want fast food to pass you your order, you probably should roll down your window...

At least I don't have hurt his self-esteem by saying no? :p
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Maybe he's punishing himself because he doesn't deserve to receive PM's.

That's pretty hardcore S&M right there.

:D
 
I was seduced in our basement bathroom
It was so dirty but sooo good can we chat

I am still scratching my head as to what reply this one deserves. Anyone have any suggestions?
 
Theres random text generators availiable that I LOVE to use on people like that
 
Just a few lines from a conversation I had on CM....

Me: "Many, in my opinion, want someone who is young and malleable and to be honest, not too bright."

Him ~smile~: Should it surprise me that masters want submissives/slaves who will abide by their decisions? Is that not the essence of the master/slave relationship?

Him~smile~: I am only here for those who recently join, as those who have been here any length of time are a complete waste of my time. As I pointed out far too many so-called 'submissives' want to be in control of their 'master', especially those in their 30s and 40s who have established lives they are not willing to give up to serve another.

Me: I am strong, independent and self reliant. Does that mean I woudn't make a good submissive, or does that mean that giving up those features for the right dom make me an even better submissive?

Him ~smile~:How is someone less intelligent supposed to understand someone who is more intelligent?

Went on from there then I got bored of hearing about twue submission...But I did have fun.

 
Decided against this one...too much identifying info that can't be edited out.
 
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redslady said:
Just a few lines from a conversation I had on CM....

Me: "Many, in my opinion, want someone who is young and malleable and to be honest, not too bright."

Him ~smile~: Should it surprise me that masters want submissives/slaves who will abide by their decisions? Is that not the essence of the master/slave relationship?

Him~smile~: I am only here for those who recently join, as those who have been here any length of time are a complete waste of my time. As I pointed out far too many so-called 'submissives' want to be in control of their 'master', especially those in their 30s and 40s who have established lives they are not willing to give up to serve another.

Me: I am strong, independent and self reliant. Does that mean I woudn't make a good submissive, or does that mean that giving up those features for the right dom make me an even better submissive?

Him ~smile~:How is someone less intelligent supposed to understand someone who is more intelligent?

Went on from there then I got bored of hearing about twue submission...But I did have fun.

Click to expand...

With all those "~smile~"s, I can bet you dollars to donuts you were talking to Bloved.
 
satindesire said:
With all those "~smile~"s, I can bet you dollars to donuts you were talking to Bloved.
Click to expand...

Ding Ding Ding...give the lady a prize. Good to know in this crazy world some people just stay Asshats, lol.

So do I get the doughnuts or do you? Right now I'd give all my dollars for one, lol.
 
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