ASSHAT AWARDS: Best of the Worst PMs and Emails Received

[bhndblueyes88]

I've always had the opinion that prison escapes would be greatly reduced if the surrounding area were to be covered in a thick layer of legos.

no it has to be a layer that is on that delicate balance of insuring that it is a safeguard, and remaining effective. If you make a thick layer, you create the scenario generated when one walks on a bed of nails, and it won't hurt NEAR as much as necessary to be effective

and like, don't prison inmates have shoes?

 

[Aurantica]

no it has to be a layer that is on that delicate balance of insuring that it is a safeguard, and remaining effective. If you make a thick layer, you create the scenario generated when one walks on a bed of nails, and it won't hurt NEAR as much as necessary to be effective

and like, don't prison inmates have shoes?

Not if you take them.

 

[bhndblueyes88]

Not if you take them.

if they don't have shoes in general, they will develop hobbit feet and probably develop a high resistance to legos. if they have shoes in general, how will you arrange it to be that they don't have shoes when they escape?

 

[Aurantica]

In my ideal prison they are given shoes only for outside stuff. When they come in the shoes come off. Keeps janitorial bills down. Then the floor is covered in soft rubber mats so their feet stay nice and tender. Pumice stones are freely availiable in the showers.

 

[satindesire]

Right!?!? Hey Sadists, leave a trail of legos leading to the bedroom (evil laugh)

LE GASP! Your mind is truly evil. I shall call you Gunther!

*Anyone who gets this shall immediately win 20 internets*

Not if you take them.

Well, you know what they say...Before you judge someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

 

[Kurokami]

LE GASP! Your mind is truly evil. I shall call you Gunther!

*Anyone who gets this shall immediately win 20 internets*

"Nobody hurts my penguins except me! And polar bears. Because that's just nature, Gunther!"

... Or however that line goes

 

[satindesire]

"Nobody hurts my penguins except me! And polar bears. Because that's just nature, Gunther!"

... Or however that line goes

ANNNNND THE 20 INTERNETS GOES TO KURO-SAN!

 

[satindesire]

asshole_investigator: Hi

missusrandom: Hello.

asshole_investigator: How are you?

missusrandom: I'm good, thank you.

asshole_investigator: Good. Would you care to discuss a play?

missusrandom: Sure! What kind of Rp are you looking for tonight?

asshole_investigator: Not sure.

missusrandom: Okay, what kind of RP do you enjoy?

asshole_investigator: Well, lots, but more and more often while I have no time with other things, I tend to lean more towards romance and sexual.

missusrandom: Any other genres you like to mix with those? And do you prefer any setting/time?

asshole_investigator: I am open on time period and setting, really, but of course, if it is long term I tend to do more content than just romance/sexual.

missusrandom: Do you multipara?

asshole_investigator: I can.

missusrandom: You can, or you do usually?

asshole_investigator: I can, like I said, time, etc etc. Depends on the story, the partner, etc.

missusrandom: Hm.
missusrandom: Well, one of the things that is sort of my specialty is to sort of get the idea of what my partner prefers and work myself into their ideas.
missusrandom: But since you don't seem to have any really strong set preferences, I'm finding it impossible for me to bridge the gap of interest to actual ideas.
missusrandom: So.
missusrandom: Here's the deal.
missusrandom: If you come up with some idea that you're really excited about, come talk to me about it.
missusrandom: But for now, I can't get a clear picture of what you're looking for in my head, so I can't play with you.

asshole_investigator: Well, if we are just going to play my idea, then I am wasting time. I play to work an idea between me and my partner, to collborate.

missusrandom: That's great! That's wonderful, I'm glad you do that. Unfortunately, I'm not strongly interested in romance/sex RPs.

asshole_investigator: Not what you said, make up your mind on why you are saying 'no'.

missusrandom: You don't have to be rude.

asshole_investigator: You are. Sarcasm, as prevalent as it is, is rude.

missusrandom: I wasn't being sarcastic. You assumed, then attacked me. I was being genuine. I really do think it's great.
missusrandom: But since you're not mature enough to ask a question like an adult, I'm going to just terminate this conversation because my entire tone has been completely thrown off and I just don't want to talk to you anymore.

asshole_investigator: Wasn't that what you were going to do before? I haven't lost anything, but have fun waiting for someone to give you a thought.

missusrandom: Yeah, I'm sure that parting shot is really comforting for you. I'm sorry that being rude to another fellow human being who was nothing but kind to you is so pleasurable, and what horrible things have happened to you to turn you into that kind of person.
missusrandom: For what it's worth, I hope you have a really good night and find a nice partner to RP with.

 

[bhndblueyes88]

I wonder if this is the same guy that messaged me a couple days ago looking to roleplay.

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

asshole_investigator: I can.

missusrandom: You can, or you do usually?

asshole_investigator: I can, like I said, time, etc etc. Depends on the story, the partner, etc.

missusrandom: Hm.
missusrandom: Well, one of the things that is sort of my specialty is to sort of get the idea of what my partner prefers and work myself into their ideas.
missusrandom: But since you don't seem to have any really strong set preferences, I'm finding it impossible for me to bridge the gap of interest to actual ideas.

I love that spark of natural chemistry. Congrats, satin!

 

[satindesire]

I wonder if this is the same guy that messaged me a couple days ago looking to roleplay.

I only changed his name a tiny bit to protect him. Was his name SIMILAR to that?

 

[bhndblueyes88]

I only changed his name a tiny bit to protect him. Was his name SIMILAR to that?

ah no it was not. it appears the asshats are just running a theme.

 

[Stella_Omega]

So I point out that someone usually behaves like a bully, and I get this PM threatening to kick my ass, bitch, if I don't get off their fucking back. They are going to stick to me like white on rice, and it's my choice, cunt.

... because forum stalking is gonna totally prove that someone is a reasonable and non-bullying type of person, yep.

And "bitch" and "cunt" really show me the error of my ways.

 

[Mz_Cunningham]

Got this one yesterday

Hey

Im a 40 year old married male who love to watch you and your lover get it on!

 

[Salo_Leton]

......

 

[bhndblueyes88]

Maybe you were being the bully? Did you ever stop to consider that? I have read some of your posts and you do come off on the cuntish/preachy side.

You probably deserved it, you can be a real critical bitch and a cunt sometimes.

And you look like a real douche, shave the moustache. It may stop people from jumping to conclusions about you.

True or not that's rather beside the point. The point is, if someone calls you a bully and you proceed to respond....like a bully...you just look like an idiot. And people making themselves look like idiots over PM is kind of the idea of this thread.

 

[Vixandra]

Maybe you were being the bully? Did you ever stop to consider that? I have read some of your posts and you do come off on the cuntish/preachy side.

You probably deserved it, you can be a real critical bitch and a cunt sometimes.

And you look like a real douche, shave the moustache. It may stop people from jumping to conclusions about you.

So, if Stella looses the mustache, it'll stop people from jumping to conclusions? I think the scribbled in goatee would look a little out of place then. But far be it from me to dictate the laws of obviously altered photo appeal.

How do you shave something that was added on in a picture editing program? Maybe with a combination crop, delete, and clone tool?

 

[Stella_Omega]

ROFLMAO!

No dear boy, I might come off as an asshole sometimes-- especially in threads like this one-- but I am hardly ever bitchy. You however, are being a little bitch right now. My moustache might make me seem like a douche, (which was kinda why I photoshopped it in the first place) but your actions are those of a douche.

Look, by your own words she doesn't want to explore your fetish as far as you want to. That's your answer. You have to respect her boundaries-- at least if you respect her at all.

(and this isn't even the person I was talking about in my first post!)

How do you shave something that was added on in a picture editing program? Maybe with a combination crop, delete, and clone tool?

I've kept the image in layers, it would be easy to edit the merkin layer

 

[GracefullyYours]

Maybe you were being the bully? Did you ever stop to consider that? I have read some of your posts and you do come off on the cuntish/preachy side.

You probably deserved it, you can be a real critical bitch and a cunt sometimes.

And you look like a real douche, shave the moustache. It may stop people from jumping to conclusions about you.

Well. I just jumped to a conclusion about you *shrug*

 

[Etoile]

Maybe you were being the bully? Did you ever stop to consider that? I have read some of your posts and you do come off on the cuntish/preachy side.

You probably deserved it, you can be a real critical bitch and a cunt sometimes.

And you look like a real douche, shave the moustache. It may stop people from jumping to conclusions about you.

lolwut

 

[satindesire]

Maybe you were being the bully? Did you ever stop to consider that? I have read some of your posts and you do come off on the cuntish/preachy side.

You probably deserved it, you can be a real critical bitch and a cunt sometimes.

And you look like a real douche, shave the moustache. It may stop people from jumping to conclusions about you.

I know someone who looks like a douche right now and it's not Stellllaaaaaaaa...

 

[Stella_Omega]

So funny because this is not even the person that sent me the PM. Thank you, thank you my friends!

 

[unregistered]

 

[Sir_Winston54]

Maybe you were being the bully? Did you ever stop to consider that? I have read some of your posts and you do come off on the cuntish/preachy side.

You probably deserved it, you can be a real critical bitch and a cunt sometimes.

And you look like a real douche, shave the moustache. It may stop people from jumping to conclusions about you.

Douche... I mean Dood, you've been a Lit member a month, made a total of ten posts, only one of which (the one quoted above) has been in this forum, and you're attacking someone who's been here a hell of a lot longer, and contributed to this forum? (Incidentally, I disagree with Stella about as often as agree, but I still appreciate the discourse.)

And to not be able to tell that the mustache and goat were photoshopped into the avatar pic... <sigh>

I kind of have to wonder... Do you have something going on in your pants for Stella? Are you stalking her, in order to find this obscure post in a forum you've never posted in? Hmmmmm....

 

[Stella_Omega]

This gentleman sent out a heartfelt cry about his cuck fetish, which his GF isn't quite as enthusiastic about as he wants her to be.

I was blunt, and maybe I could have been sweeter when I told him that his girlfriend has already given him her answer, by way of her reticience.

So he stomped his foot.