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ASSHAT AWARDS: Best of the Worst PMs and Emails Received

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"I just got this one on another BDSM webite.... Good lord. It was originally all one block of text but I've broken it up out of mercy for whoever reads this.

iam looking for f cam slave, if ur interested pm me now? i will make an online agreement with u, to describe the shape of our relation,there is the conditions"...



I got nauseous just reading the first 2 "conditions"!
:rolleyes:
blerg...
 
So party people, for you perpetual pleasure I have perused and added my thoughts on my crazy message from earlier. My comments are in red.


iam looking for f cam slave, if ur interested pm me now?

So you’re either asking or ordering me to PM you right off the bat… Interesting.

i will make an online agreement with u, to describe the shape of our relation,there is the conditions:

1: u have to be my slave online to the rest of ur live, u have to be my properitey . to be my slave means that i will control all ur live detilas even the small things like what ur wear ,what ur eat.,..., can u do it?

Okay, I think just about everyone will realize right about now how bad an idea something like this would be. I get the feeling this punk would get his kicks by attempting to make me go around town dressed like a whore. Not only that, but letting him control what I eat? Uhhh NO . Does this guy even feed his pets?

2: u have to do what ever iam order u to do , never say no.u have to know that i will make a brainwash for u , u will be like my dog or my cow , or my robbot ,just obey orders, u will be like a toy .can u do it?
So let me get this straight. I do not have veto power over what can happen to my own body, he somehow plans to make me a brainwash (not brainwash me, just make one in the same manner I assume someone makes a bath) And he plans to turn me into livestock (Rather shocked he’s allowed to own animals, period.)

3: u have to take it in a serioues way ,it is not for fun . to be slave is a live style.and u have to be honest with me never lie on me, do what ever iam order u to do ,can u do it?
So I’m not allowed to have any fun, ever, while also doing whatever he orders me to do, which will probably be fun for him…

4: u have to know that when ur become my slave ,u have to love me more than u love ur self.i will become number 1 in ur live, can u do it?
Right. Like that’s gonna happen.

5: u have to know that iam have the right to punish u when ever i want and in any way ,even if ur not do any thing wrong,and thier will be no limits for u , like hard pain ...., can u do it?
This is starting more and more to sound like the speech a psychopath gives to the unfortunate woman he’s captured… He’s decided he has the right to abuse me however he pleases at any time, however painfully, and I’m not allowed to tell him to stop or say no. And then he has the balls to treat it like a challenge. Well, I might be a pacifist in real life, but on the Internet I most certainly am not. If I got asked out by a guy who pulled this shit, he would be sent running so fast his shoes caught fire.

6: when ever iam order u to send pics or open cam ,u have to do it ok?
Even if I’m just coming back from a funeral, or another joyous 12 hour shift, or maybe I’m just not in the mood? Christ, there’s a thing on the Internet called porn.


7: u have to know that , when ur accept become my slave, iam own 7 demonds slave. one of my slave will enter ur bodey and flowing in ur blood, it will control ur mind(thats true not lie) and if ur not replay to my orders it will damge ur mental health, u will see it in ur dreams, and hear it is voice in ur head when ur alone, can u do it? R U ACCEPT THIS CONDITOINS?

At this point I’m seriously concerned for whoever takes this yokel up on his offer. He has 7 demon-slaves? Really? And one of these demons will flow in my blood and control my mind… yet I will somehow presumably have enough will to not “replay to [his] orders”, at which point it will damage my mental health? I think there’s already one “damaged” person in this conversation, and it’s not me.

And finally this raving lunatic that calls himself a Dom caps off his crazy-train of a message by asking if I accept… let me ask you something, good ladies and gents of Lit.

Would you accept?
 
Aurantica - I just want to thank you for posting that message - it was just what I needed after a long Friday at work - I almost cried laughing. Strange strange little man!
 
he said, "do you smoke? i like for all my subs to smoke."

I said, "-_-
I'm already owned, dont smoke, and wont. I also consider it stupid and foolish to decide to take someone as your sub/Master without knowing them. Another thing, you're a damned fool if you think smoking is hot. Also if you cared about your "subs" at all, you wouldn't want them doing something so dangerous to their health."

he didn't respond ;) lol
 
xBuxombabex said:
Aurantica - I just want to thank you for posting that message - it was just what I needed after a long Friday at work - I almost cried laughing. Strange strange little man!
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Always a pleasure. Stick around, I get the feeling there will be plenty more like it.
 
sweetnymphomania said:
he said, "do you smoke? i like for all my subs to smoke."

I said, "-_-
I'm already owned, dont smoke, and wont. I also consider it stupid and foolish to decide to take someone as your sub/Master without knowing them. Another thing, you're a damned fool if you think smoking is hot. Also if you cared about your "subs" at all, you wouldn't want them doing something so dangerous to their health."

he didn't respond ;) lol
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Good job, SN!

I don't care if my partner smokes or not... as long as she doesn't bitch about ME smoking! :rolleyes:
 
I posted an PM sent to me in PM Asshattery in HT Cafe, the guy responded to the thread and fessed up that it was indeed him... :rolleyes:
 
Not private at all, this gentleman posted several hatemails to me in my thread about abstinance sex ed
amicus said:
Not much fun here any more the usual suspects are so very predictable.

To the creep from ozzieland, women are and always have been sexual objects, I did not make it that way, nature did to continue the species.

My suggestion to you is to legislate for an entire make-over of Australian society, in the outback maybe, where only unisex individuals are permitted. Then there would be no natural male female interactions.

Most of the pervents here have never married or had children and are clueless as to what they are recommending in sex education.

Had you an ounce of humanity, you would know it is not the physical act of sex, it is the psychological and moral impact it has on a child. Your free education, condoms, advice, is just as lethal as cyanide in their orange juice, it just takes longer until they are just like you.

You are sick, Stella and you should be confined and gagged.

Amicus
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Ain't he something!

For someone who hates me so much, to offer such sweet sentiments at the end

My reply;
Yeah, cages are one of my favorite kinks.:cattail:

I got to be confined last night, in fact. It was awesome, I came for about an hour straight(not straight at all, actually) and I've been on cloud nine all day...

But not gagged, I had a lot of licking, sucking and kissing to do.
Click to expand...
 
Stella_Omega said:
Not private at all, this gentleman posted several hatemails to me in my thread about abstinance sex ed

Ain't he something!

For someone who hates me so much, to offer such sweet sentiments at the end

My reply;
Click to expand...

He's a piece of work, that one. Don't worry Stella, we're doing him a public service. If he couldn't lash his hate out at someone he'd surely explode!

*has visons of an old man shaking his fist at 'those goddamned kids' before self-combusting all over his lawn chair*
 
I really do have a file of his posts c&p'd on my hard drive. I couldn't possibly invent anything like him in my fiction...
 
Stella_Omega said:
Not private at all, this gentleman posted several hatemails to me in my thread about abstinance sex ed

Ain't he something!

For someone who hates me so much, to offer such sweet sentiments at the end
Click to expand...

What an ass. I saw something similar earlier in a thread he posted. It's hard to believe that people are this backwards. I guess he's one of those who loves to also pontificate about feminism while showing he knows jack about it.
 
I recently had a conversation with someone my age telling pretty much the same things as amicus on Stella's thread. It was so weird. I'd never thought someone around my age could have such opinion about sex education and sex in general. Someone, who's seemed so normal all the years I've known her.

ETA, just for clarity: She said much the same things as amicus in the first two posts he made on that thread. The drivel Stella quoted here and the posts he made after that would have been waaaaay too thick even for her.

But what really surprised me on that thread, though, was that people didn't know what hymen really is and how it works. Maybe it's part of that abstinence education that even the physiology and anatomy of sex organs isn't talked about?
 
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Hi, I'm new to this thread, only started reading a few days ago and had got to page 15 when I decided to take a break for that evening. The next morning, my very own asshat decided to make himself known to me! Yay, a chance for me to add to this thread! :D

Yesterday, at 8:37 pm, I got this message:

Hi,

Nice to virtually meet you and welcome to Lit! I just noticed a couple of your posts and enjoyed the fact that you write eloquently, quite often a rarity here! And you have an interesting biog - very artistic

So, how are you, and how are the Netherlands, and can you put up with my inane ramblings for long?

x


I know, it doesn't seem too bad, right? Well, here's what makes him an asshat: at 8:56 he wrote again:

I guess I really am not that interesting!

Have a good evening.

x


Well, pardon me for actually having a life and not replying within seconds... :rolleyes:

Edited for a spelling error and to make my post a little clearer...
 
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