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ASSHAT AWARDS: Best of the Worst PMs and Emails Received

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I make one post in the last 3 months and I almost immediately receive this:

I am locked in the gates of hell and my mistress wants me to ask woman what color panties they have on or i will get spanked.
If you answer =0 wacks
Just color but not type or no detail = 2
No Answer =5
Answer with I was rude or you are not telling I get 10

You ask to speak with mustress I get a special punishment that she will tell you about.

Please tell me my bottom is so sore already.
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What about those of us that don't even wear panties?? My answer wouldn't even count. Humph.

(Quoted directly from the pm, typing mistakes and all.)
 
_kiana_ said:
I make one post in the last 3 months and I almost immediately receive this:



What about those of us that don't even wear panties?? My answer wouldn't even count. Humph.

(Quoted directly from the pm, typing mistakes and all.)
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Hehe. Got that one a few days ago. See the previous page in the thread.
 
I just got a PM and all it said was "how much into BDSM are you?"

I replied by saying "I'm not sure what you mean, or why you want to know, but I have an idea, so let me direct you to the "biography" in my profile where I say that I'm spoken for. Have a good day!"

And he responds with "but you don't have a Dom do you?"



...Stupid.
 
00Syd said:
I just got a PM and all it said was "how much into BDSM are you?"

I replied by saying "I'm not sure what you mean, or why you want to know, but I have an idea, so let me direct you to the "biography" in my profile where I say that I'm spoken for. Have a good day!"

And he responds with "but you don't have a Dom do you?"



...Stupid.
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hehheh heheh...
Sounds like an absolute good example of asshat level dumbass to me... yeah.
 
00Syd said:
I just got a PM and all it said was "how much into BDSM are you?"

I replied by saying "I'm not sure what you mean, or why you want to know, but I have an idea, so let me direct you to the "biography" in my profile where I say that I'm spoken for. Have a good day!"

And he responds with "but you don't have a Dom do you?"



...Stupid.
Click to expand...

*chuckles*
But if you don't have a Dom, you obviously are in need of one. He was just trying to be helpful, poor soul... :rolleyes:
 
I got one a little while ago.

"Post more nude pics"

Just that. Four words.

My reply was:

"Sorry, I respond to polite requests, not rude demands." ;)

Edited to add: This is one I got just literally a few seconds ago.

********** said:
Does it turn you on knowing I am jacking off while looking at your hot body?









satindesire said:
********** said:
Just thought I'd let you know I think your a stunning young women and your pics turn me on bigtime. Love to chat anytime you feel like it.
Click to expand...



Thank you very much! I'm happy to see you're enjoying my thread.

I try to post a group of new pictures every week, so please keep visiting!

Megs :heart:
Click to expand...
Click to expand...


Hn. To be honest with you....

no.

Not that I have anything against YOU personally or against masturbation...it's just...well. I don't know you. At all. And I probably will never meet you, talk to you or fall in love with you. And since the only man that turns me on is my boyfriend, well...you get it.

Thanks for sharing tho.
 
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I don;t know maybe we will hook up and rock your world.. I like everything about you girl.... . So I will push my agenda and see if your for real. If I have made a mistake and your not for real just don't respond...

I'm going to be open and real with you so do the same.

I need to start off by saying I don’t have all the answers. I offer only truth, no games just, something real. What you read my be to much for you but I hope not. You can see from my profile I’m not like most Dominants at all. Just in a nut shell, have you ever thought of making porn or a home based internet sex business. My you have thought of being used or using others, maybe even renting Submissive and slave out to paying customers that crave fetishes sex. Just keep an open mind... The right submissive for me must have personality and be in the mix of all things in my life. I just like it that way. To dismiss the other half of anything would be ignorant and self deluding. So after 14 years of being with a Gorgeous slave I out grew her. Things change so I’m looking for a replacement that can keep up… Thing is, I’m picky and not just any woman will do… I don’t have all the answers so be realistic, have some common sense about life and your place in it. To may people on this site are completely ignorant of what it is to be in a real 24/7 life stile relationship. If you don’t understand it have the Common Sense to know I do.

My planes are healthy, safe with all the Alternative, fetishes and Vanilla working together as it always has for me. I think you’re for real so I have tried to show you the path. Please understand! This is not just about sex that the easy part for me. You need to crave making a real life, having friend and family but still be a freaky little f-uck toy with a mind. You need to use your personality, stile, wisdom and submissive grace to manifest the alternative and vanilla life you crave…. I can’t stress enough how important it is for you to be an active part of making your ideal life a reality. Know one can do it for you… Know one can make you chose a master or make you stay with a dominant if you don't wont to. Feeling helpless, winning, about your life will not make your dreams come true. You my be a submissive but take responsibility for making your dreams a reality. This is not a one man show! This is a meeting of the minds and a meshing of spirits. You tell me if you’re up to exploration, the possibilities of things to come.. If you’re frozen stiff too afraid to make change in your life you and I am not a good fit. I’m not wasting my time trying to convince you to be with me….. Not happening! If you’re up to creating a life path with a strong masculine, aggressive, capable man hold your hear up and let me know. Stand up so I can see you. If you don’t get you have something to offer beside submission, and servitude you and I will not be a good fit. If you think this is a form letter I made a mistake you had some clarity, just move on. Hope I hope you’re the real deal baby girl…..
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His spelling is somewhat on most of the time.

I can't stand when people can't tell the difference between "your" and "you're" ugh.

And lol... when he opens the idea about a home-based porn scheme... <3
 
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satindesire said:
I got one a little while ago.

"Post more nude pics"

Just that. Four words.

My reply was:

"Sorry, I respond to polite requests, not rude demands." ;)...Thanks for sharing tho.
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You might have seen that as a rude demand, but to me, it really seemed like just a nude request. Or, maybe it could have been a nude demand. You really can't tell the tone (or the feverish need) of a message without at least one smilie or something.:rolleyes:
 
Chicklet said:
His spelling is somewhat on most of the time.

I can't stand when people can't tell the difference between "your" and "you're" ugh.

And lol... when he opens the idea about a home-based porn scheme... <3
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Hahahaha, that was such a ridiculous letter. It completely seemed like something that would be written in The Onion's "Opinion" section or something.



(And if you guys don't know about The Onion, its worth checking out: http://www.theonion.com/content/index)
 
_kiana_ said:
Even with that as your avatar?? :eek:

*fans self*

Ok, so it's the artistic aspects of the shot that make it hot, but still!
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Nope. Most of the "Hey, put that thing away!" comments are relegated to public threads.
 
Hi :eek:)
I was really curious to ask you a question. I really hope its ok to ask. I just wanted to worship you with the words and I hope you feel that. I would be very happy to know of your lovely thoughts too. The honour would be mine completely.

Would you enjoy it if my tongue gently tingled your beautiful mound all over, as waves of pleasure wash through your body, as you delight in my softest kisses up and down the line of you sweet mound? my hands sensually massaging your breasts making you feel desired and special as you writhe beautifully in rhythm to my hungry licking, fulfilling you in the deepest of ways.

Can you imagine me rubbing the full length of my sweet cock softly up and down the line of your pussy whilst i look you deep in your eyes? rubbing your clit sweetly against my hot organ, until you are ready to cum, and i slip it deep inside your pussy to finish you off?
Click to expand...

My first one for the night...he does get some points for using spell check at least. :rolleyes:
 
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