ASSHAT AWARDS: Best of the Worst PMs and Emails Received

[00Syd]

Yay! i finally got an asshat PM! i've been here for 8 months and i just got my first one....

Here it goes:

Hi )

I was really curious to ask you a question. I really hope its ok to ask. I just wanted to worship you with the words and I hope you feel that. I would be very happy to know of your lovely thoughts too. The honour would be mine completely.

Would you enjoy it if my tongue gently tingled your beautiful mound all over, as waves of pleasure wash through your body, as you delight in my softest kisses up and down the line of you sweet mound? my hands sensually massaging your breasts making you feel desired and special as you writhe beautifully in rhythm to my hungry licking, fulfilling you in the deepest of ways.

Can you imagine me rubbing the full length of my sweet cock softly up and down the line of your pussy whilst i look you deep in your eyes? rubbing your clit sweetly against my hot organ, until you are ready to cum, and i slip it deep inside your pussy to finish you off?

i want to reply back: No.

Whoa, look back to page 74, madetotakeit got the same asshat pm!

 

[humbledoll]

Whoa, look back to page 74, madetotakeit got the same asshat pm!

I just received that same pm as well! And I have only been here for two days.

Hello everyone *wave*

 

[subkitty72]

I just received that same pm as well! And I have only been here for two days.

Hello everyone *wave*

*waves back*

And here i was thinking i was all special and stuff...

*sniff*

 

[chris9]

I have an asshat who isn't really one... He might be interesting, he sent some fun messages, but nothing really for me to answer back to. I guess I'll give him up, too much work.

 

[humbledoll]

*waves back*

And here i was thinking i was all special and stuff...

*sniff*

Aaww...you are all special and stuff. Hands you an internet cookie.

 

[FungiUg]

Sweet cock? Sweet? Since when are cocks sweet?

Chocolate coated...

 

[subkitty72]

Aaww...you are all special and stuff. Hands you an internet cookie.

*takes the cookie*

Thanks, little doll.

i am special... like the Olympics.

Careful with your cookies, darling: Betticus likes to steal them!

 

[graceanne]

Chocolate coated...

Chocolate coating cocks? Now that might get me into oral servitude. Or is it chocolate servitude.

 

[Betticus]

*takes the cookie*

Thanks, little doll.

i am special... like the Olympics.

Careful with your cookies, darling: Betticus likes to steal them!

You obviously have mistaken me and gracie. I give cookies, they just never get to their intended recipient because a certain subbie swoops through the room and snatches it from my hand before I can give it away.

She really needs to give that one greek god his winged sandals back!

 

[graceanne]

You obviously have mistaken me and gracie. I give cookies, they just never get to their intended recipient because a certain subbie swoops through the room and snatches it from my hand before I can give it away.

She really needs to give that one greek god his winged sandals back!

Don't be blaming me for your addiction, you cookie thief.

Now gimme a belly rub.

OMG WE'VE SWITCH PERSONALITIES!

 

[Sprinkles22]

I've had some PMs with someone claiming to be a "top" in this BDSM world of ours. Will someone explain to me why being a PYL (or thinking you are a PYL) demands instant respect and submission from me when I speak?

Grrrrr ... that irritates me so fucking much. I am submissive to ONE person only, the rest of the world can kiss my Alpha ass. I am polite, respectful and considerate when I chat and PM with others, but I will not automatically assume the submissive role with anyone. Nor do I take to heart the "bad subbie" reply comments from such Asshats.

Gimme a break, Fucktard!

 

[DVS]

Sweet cock? Sweet? Since when are cocks sweet? That just sounds like a really unfortunate choice of words to me for some reason, LOL.

I have never tasted a cock before. Not that I'm saying sweet should be the correct taste, but just what is the correct taste of a cock?

And, is there only one, or are there several different tastes? I know what someone eats does make a difference with how the cum tastes, but the cock itself, is what I'm wondering about.

Does circumcision have anything to do with it? Race or nationality? Size? Soft or erect? Come on, you cock suckers, I need answers. The next time I send an asshat message, I want it to be correct in every way. So, if a cock isn't sweet, then just what is it?

 

[Etoile]

Sweet cock? Sweet? Since when are cocks sweet? That just sounds like a really unfortunate choice of words to me for some reason, LOL.

Maybe he meant it like sw33t, or like "dude! SUPER SWEET!" And not like taste. Maybe.

 

[FungiUg]

I've had some PMs with someone claiming to be a "top" in this BDSM world of ours. Will someone explain to me why being a PYL (or thinking you are a PYL) demands instant respect and submission from me when I speak?

That's always puzzled me as well. I think it's mostly an online phenomena. Either that or a conspiracy by people who enjoy being verbally abused.

Okay, serious thought moment.

I think there are a lot of people in BDSM who feel they have to "act" a certain role. So that leads to so-called "dominants" who think they are supposed to be all pushy and obnoxious and generally walk all over people.

End of serious thought moment: back to random silliness.

 

[sexycaz22]

One guy came online, and almost straight away, after saying hellos and how are yous, asking; are you owned? I replied no; are you looking to be owned? I replied no; and soon after that, no more questions! Am I being a tad rude here?

 

[Etoile]

One guy came online, and almost straight away, after saying hellos and how are yous, asking; are you owned? I replied no; are you looking to be owned? I replied no; and soon after that, no more questions! Am I being a tad rude here?

All you said was no? Well, I don't think you are being rude, you're telling the truth!

 

[sexycaz22]

All you said was no? Well, I don't think you are being rude, you're telling the truth!

Yeah, I think so, too! He did talk to me the other day, too, asking the same questions. And he did ask other questions, but I can't remember. Not worth it, really if he asked these questions, without asking about me as a person!

 

[Sprinkles22]

One guy came online, and almost straight away, after saying hellos and how are yous, asking; are you owned? I replied no; are you looking to be owned? I replied no; and soon after that, no more questions! Am I being a tad rude here?

I don't think his questions or your answers were rude. He asked legit questions; you answered truthfully.

BUT .... his actions afterwards were rude. So what .. because you're not looking for an owner at this time means that you're not _friend_ worthy? I think it's bullshit that ALL some people seem interested in is sex. Hello? I'm a person! I can be a good friend!

 

[sexycaz22]

I don't think his questions or your answers were rude. He asked legit questions; you answered truthfully.

BUT .... his actions afterwards were rude. So what .. because you're not looking for an owner at this time means that you're not _friend_ worthy? I think it's bullshit that ALL some people seem interested in is sex. Hello? I'm a person! I can be a good friend!

Competely agree with you there!

 

[Ladythunder]

somebody has a cookie tracker on me or something...

so I found this thread today, I am sitting reading it from first to last, made it down to the bottom of page 15, giggling regularly when I get my very own Asshat! W00T! so naturally I had to share...

hi

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hi maam, I am so very sorry to bother you but my mistress has me locked up in the gates of hell. She wants me to ask you want color and type of panties you she wants to tease me with no release. If I do not get enough women to tell me she will warm my bottom. Please help I do not want my bottom warmed. Please help me. She is even talking about using the strap on on me.

What makes you think I would be of help to you? Given my personal preference, I would suggest the use of a cane instead.

Thanks she says she will do that now

Have fun with that...

and while you're at it, don't message me again, the initial response was to make you go away not to be further entertained by your trollish attempts at a cheap thrill.

 

[Etoile]

Thanks ladythunder, that was a good laugh/vomit...

 

[Ladythunder]

Thanks ladythunder, that was a good laugh/vomit...

Laughs

You are most welcome Etoile.

I'm just glad its my first asshat of the year...all they do is annoy me, at least when they are plugging up my inbox-when others get them its just funny

 

[chris9]

"naughty girls need discipline and humility...have you been a naughty girl? dont be shy... "

And here I always thought that one important part of being a good girl is being shy.

 

[ShyGuy68]

Some people just don't get it!

Hi Chris

 

[chris9]

Hy ShyGuy How are you?


There's a new phenomenom. Right now the second guy asked me what I thought and if I would answer to his first message while I was reading and answering said message. Desperate?