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ASSHAT AWARDS: Best of the Worst PMs and Emails Received

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chris9 said:
Hy ShyGuy :) How are you?


There's a new phenomenom. Right now the second guy asked me what I thought and if I would answer to his first message while I was reading and answering said message. Desperate?
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I'm doing ok, heads up and feet down. And you gorgeous lady?

Some people are just way to desperate!
 
ShyGuy68 said:
I'm doing ok, heads up and feet down. And you gorgeous lady?

Some people are just way to desperate!
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I'm seriously missing summer. Other than that and the fact that I don't like where I am right now I'm great.
 
chris9 said:
I'm seriously missing summer. Other than that and the fact that I don't like where I am right now I'm great.
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Oh I'm sorry to hear it *hugs*. But you'll be going back to Germany soon won't you?
 
Ladythunder said:
Hi maam, I am so very sorry to bother you but my mistress has me locked up in the gates of hell. She wants me to ask you want color and type of panties you she wants to tease me with no release. If I do not get enough women to tell me she will warm my bottom. Please help I do not want my bottom warmed. Please help me. She is even talking about using the strap on on me.
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This guy got someone else earlier - I remember reading something VERY similar... was panty related... if a certain number of people didn't tell him the color and type of panties they were wearing he was going to get his bottom warmed *gasp*
 
Ok, a certain initials only hms (male); do you think all women are friggin stupid enough to open a link by some jerkoff that sent them a message and had never spoke to them before???

GET FUCKING REAL!!:mad:
 
asshat said:
Hi,

Any Master would love to have a slave like you. Let me tell you a bit more about myself.

To start with, I am not a fat dirty old guy with the same age as your father. What I am is a serious, strong, caring, ambitious, protecting, honest, independent and dominant male who knows exactly what he needs and demands.

The way I see it a women is inferior to a man. If you look back in time it has always been like that. The female does what she is told and if not, she would be corrected by the man. Females were also used by men when they felt like it and it was not up to the women if she actually wanted it. I still believe in those things. I still believe that a girl exists to be "guided" by the man, dominated so to speak. And a girl's body if for her man to use when he feels like it and how he feels like it. She has no saying, she simply needs to accept it and have him have his way.

Unfortunately society today lost our true "nature". Women are treated equal, even in relationships. Because of that a lot of relations these day go wrong because there is no clear "leader" in the house anymore and therefore women are not corrected and punished but women need that whereas only few realize that.

I see that it is my responsibility to dominate a women and to correct her where needed because if I dont take that responsibilty, she will be lost and start to rebel and she will become less efficient. If a women doesnt listen or does something wrong then she should be punished straight away.

To give you an example, if a girl is talking and I tell her to keep her mouth shut, I expect her to be silent. If she fails to do so, I would take my penis out of my pants and force it down her throat before she even finished her last sentense and face fuck her. When I left my load in her mouth, I will take her to the storage room, chain her to the water pipes and leave her there for several hours only to come back later, fuck her up her ass and leave her again while my cum is dripping down her legs which is later whipped off using my leather whip. Pain is needed sometimes for women to understand that there behavior was wrong.

This way she is reminded of her place. She realizes that she is less than man and should simply obey.

I will get what I want and to make sure of that I will tie your hands behind your back making it harder for you to resist. A blindfold should stop you from being distracted from your main purpose, serving me.
While you are on your knees with your hands tied behind your back, a dildo will be inserted to prepare your hole for penetration by me whilst some spanking should remind you of who is in control. A firm hand is needed sometimes.

Suddenly the spanking stops and you wonder where I went off to until you suddenly feel my firm hands in your hair behind your back and my second hand under your lower jaw, ordering you to open up your mouth. While you hear me say "I don't want to feel your teeth!" my penis is already at the back of your throat. You realize that I am not asking you to suck me off but that I use your mouth as it was your vagina, thrusting deep inside while holding your head still. Suddenly you feel my semen entering your mouth and I take out my penis, using my hands to keep your mouth closed, forcing you to swallow. All good girls swallow...

When I decide its time, I will remove the dildo and replace it with my hard penis. Words like "Gentle and slowly" seem to have vanished from my vocabulary; my thrusts are hard and deep. One hand is holding your breast while the other is behind your head pushing it down while I leave my sperm deep inside of you.

Just when you think it’s finally over, you feel me pulling your hair hard and telling you to be a good girl for just a bit longer. Before you can figure out what I am up to, you feel the top of my penis pushing against your anus. Within seconds, my penis is half way in and slowly going deeper. Enjoying the tightness of your ass, it takes me a while to also fill your last hole with my semen. While puling out my penis, I compliment you on what a good girl you have been...

I know what I want. Do you?

It is hard to distinguish myself from all the other men her online as they all claim to be the one you look for that is why I challenge you to respond to find out for yourself what makes me different. You can contact me on msn if you think that you got what it takes. My address there is asshat@wherever.not which is also my mail.
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First line: I'm not a slave and don't want to be.
Third paragraph and he has me roflmao. Not sure that's what he wanted...
 
chris9 said:
First line: I'm not a slave and don't want to be.
Third paragraph and he has me roflmao. Not sure that's what he wanted...
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HAHAHAHAHA What elaborate measures to be an asshat! That whole letter was so ridiculous!
 
00Syd said:
HAHAHAHAHA What elaborate measures to be an asshat! That whole letter was so ridiculous!
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you mean that letter didnt turn you on and make you want to kneel on the floor and beg him to be your dominant???

btw.. I'm teasing.. that letter was laughable...
 
chris9 said:
I replied, thanking him for the laugh :cool:
He hasn't answered so far...
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Somehow it wouldn't surprise me if he did respond, but I don't think he is man enough to handle a independent and strong woman like you.
 
EmpressFi said:
you mean that letter didnt turn you on and make you want to kneel on the floor and beg him to be your dominant???

btw.. I'm teasing.. that letter was laughable...
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For a second there my kneel reflex and my gag reflex were in close competition, but at the last minute my laugh reflex burst out of nowhere and won the race. It was incredibly unexpected....

...But really...I hope he responds and gets all pissy... hehehehe
 
I had mixed reactions reading that: "What a tool"..."huh, that's kinda hot"..."surely this is a spoof".

I'm getting to the point where it's almost impossible for me to take anything at face value.
 
00Syd said:
...But really...I hope he responds and gets all pissy... hehehehe
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Me too! He did read my message a while ago though. Either he's writing something similar in length to the one I already got or he decided not to answer. Would be smarter than I expect him to be...
 
Got one today on CollarMe.

Hello

I'm a 47-year old vanilla-married University-educated Englishman. Seeking regular arrangement with understanding, discreet not-fat younger lady. Who shares my passion for spanking. I take a great deal of time and trouble getting to know the extent of your spanking needs, pace and intensity, discomfort levels. I don't leave permanent marks of any kind. Let me know if this is of interest please.

Asshat

My response?

Well, since I'm neither understanding nor not-fat, I suppose that puts me right out, especially since I don't like spankings, anyhow. Thanks for playing.

Maybe, dipshit, you shouldn't specify "not-fat" until you know for sure if the other person is or not. It's a good way to piss a woman off. Besides, I've been involved with cheaters before. Never again!
 
how does it make you feel posting your pics knowing all us guy and some gals too get hard/wet llokin at your pics..does it turn you on too or do you love the confidence boost...
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My reply:

Just to let you know, I think most women here would agree that trying to get us to talk dirty to you via PM when we don't even know each other is SO not sexy.

Sorry to crush your fantasy. Innocent questions are innocent questions, but there are always intentions behind words and those intentions were anything but platonic.

I am attached and am not free to be intimate with you in any way, I apologize for the inconvenience.




:rolleyes: It's not even SUBTLE, man, come ON!! The least you can do is make me think for at least 5-6 messages that you just want to shoot the shit over some mindless crap instead of jumping right to the part where it's obvious you're stroking your dick right now?! Man.
 
satindesire said:
:rolleyes: It's not even SUBTLE, man, come ON!! The least you can do is make me think for at least 5-6 messages that you just want to shoot the shit over some mindless crap instead of jumping right to the part where it's obvious you're stroking your dick right now?! Man.
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Wait, you mean when they talk to you about their pets that's just a ruse? Eventually they're going to start stroking their dicks? :eek:
 
Miss Rebecca,

I know you were worrying about R.J. recently. Have you gotten in touch?

:rose:
 
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