Evil_Geoff
Equal Opportunity Sadist
- Joined
- Aug 23, 2005
- Posts
- 6,375
oh now you're just trying to use that southern sweettalk on me..
Why bless my heart! How evah did y'all know?
ASSHAT AWARDS: Best of the Worst PMs and Emails Received
- Thread starter h_i_s
- Start date
- Status
Why bless my heart! How evah did y'all know?
EmpressFi
Mama Bear
- Joined
- Feb 7, 2006
- Posts
- 4,622
Why bless my heart! How evah did y'all know?
:swoons:
Heavens... I think ah have the vapahs
/fans self
(sorry..my accent is more hillbilly redneck than southern belle)
madetotakeit
WARNING: I Bite Back
- Joined
- Nov 29, 2007
- Posts
- 1,406
He was making the rounds today...he was asking me about my rolling orgasm and men thread.
Harlet_Minx
Experienced
- Joined
- Apr 13, 2008
- Posts
- 80
While not directly an asshat, this happens to be one of the more unique messages I've recieved.
Short, young, petite, and passable?? An EXCELLENT beginning!!! Previous training??? I would be VERY interested in talking.... and much more!! IF we make the connection you seek..... who knows how far it could go..!!!??!??! Write me!!!
XXXXX
He just sounded so.... EXCITED!!!!
It reminded me those commercials you get at about 1 am. "Are you tired of scratching your nose?!?! We couldn't sell this if it didn't work!!!! This product is guaranteed for life!!"
Short, young, petite, and passable?? An EXCELLENT beginning!!! Previous training??? I would be VERY interested in talking.... and much more!! IF we make the connection you seek..... who knows how far it could go..!!!??!??! Write me!!!
XXXXX
He just sounded so.... EXCITED!!!!
It reminded me those commercials you get at about 1 am. "Are you tired of scratching your nose?!?! We couldn't sell this if it didn't work!!!! This product is guaranteed for life!!"
00Syd
Secret Agent
- Joined
- Dec 26, 2007
- Posts
- 4,580
While not directly an asshat, this happens to be one of the more unique messages I've recieved.
Short, young, petite, and passable?? An EXCELLENT beginning!!! Previous training??? I would be VERY interested in talking.... and much more!! IF we make the connection you seek..... who knows how far it could go..!!!??!??! Write me!!!
XXXXX
He just sounded so.... EXCITED!!!!
HAHAHAHA!! Those commercials were exactly what came to mind. You gonna write the guy back?
Harlet_Minx
Experienced
- Joined
- Apr 13, 2008
- Posts
- 80
I did and I'll have you all know that I was very polite! I'm a good, little, polite sub....
Breaker_Morant
Shoot straight!
- Joined
- Apr 8, 2008
- Posts
- 2,707
I did and I'll have you all know that I was very polite! I'm a good, little, polite sub....
Oh gawd.. those are storm clouds rolling in
Harlet_Minx
Experienced
- Joined
- Apr 13, 2008
- Posts
- 80
Oh gawd.. those are storm clouds rolling in
*looks up innocently from her work, halfway done building a lightning rod around Breaker.*
_kiana_
Really Experienced
- Joined
- Oct 2, 2007
- Posts
- 249
I'm pretty darn sure I've gotten this one before!
Ugh.
No, actually, I'm not that kind of girl. I don't have "Lit boys" unless you consider my real life play partner a "boy" ... but I sure as hell don't. I prefer girls myself. But I don't have those either. I have things called friends. You might want to try it out someday, if you can pull yourself away from the computer and put your dick back in your pants.
How about I climb between your hot legs and suck on your tasty pussy while you chat with all of your Lit boys?
Or aren't you that kind of girl?
Ugh.
No, actually, I'm not that kind of girl. I don't have "Lit boys" unless you consider my real life play partner a "boy" ... but I sure as hell don't. I prefer girls myself. But I don't have those either. I have things called friends. You might want to try it out someday, if you can pull yourself away from the computer and put your dick back in your pants.
kinkyknickers
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Apr 8, 2008
- Posts
- 1,221
I got an interseting one last night.
I think this one was my fault for referencing cliches about horses in the Breakmywife thread (I was trying to put it in laymans terms, I think I give people too much credit sometimes).
HaP# you like horses?
Me # Love them, I ride as often as there isn't equine influenza around (but not in the BDSM way, my love affair is strictly platonic haha).
You?
HaP# would love to explore what you mean about horses and the connection with spanking
I am at yahoo........###(IM removed to protect the not so innocent)
At which point I said I don't IM outside of this forum with unknowns. She (I think it's a woman) very abruptly pronounced that she didn't like this forum and was outta here.
It should be said that I'm pretty sure I didn't say anything about Horses in relation to spanking, only horses before carts and leading them to water.
I don't think she understood the meaning of the word "platonic".
I think HaP should use a medium to contact Mary Queen of Scotts if she wants to explore that further.
KK
I think this one was my fault for referencing cliches about horses in the Breakmywife thread (I was trying to put it in laymans terms, I think I give people too much credit sometimes).
HaP# you like horses?
Me # Love them, I ride as often as there isn't equine influenza around (but not in the BDSM way, my love affair is strictly platonic haha).
You?
HaP# would love to explore what you mean about horses and the connection with spanking
I am at yahoo........###(IM removed to protect the not so innocent)
At which point I said I don't IM outside of this forum with unknowns. She (I think it's a woman) very abruptly pronounced that she didn't like this forum and was outta here.
It should be said that I'm pretty sure I didn't say anything about Horses in relation to spanking, only horses before carts and leading them to water.
I don't think she understood the meaning of the word "platonic".
I think HaP should use a medium to contact Mary Queen of Scotts if she wants to explore that further.
KK
Etoile
Mod, 2003-2015
- Joined
- Dec 20, 2000
- Posts
- 17,049
I got an interseting one last night.
I think this one was my fault for referencing cliches about horses in the Breakmywife thread (I was trying to put it in laymans terms, I think I give people too much credit sometimes).
HaP# you like horses?
Me # Love them, I ride as often as there isn't equine influenza around (but not in the BDSM way, my love affair is strictly platonic haha).
You?
HaP# would love to explore what you mean about horses and the connection with spanking
I am at yahoo........###(IM removed to protect the not so innocent)
At which point I said I don't IM outside of this forum with unknowns. She (I think it's a woman) very abruptly pronounced that she didn't like this forum and was outta here.
It should be said that I'm pretty sure I didn't say anything about Horses in relation to spanking, only horses before carts and leading them to water.
I don't think she understood the meaning of the word "platonic".
I think HaP should use a medium to contact Mary Queen of Scotts if she wants to explore that further.
KK
Yeah, I was the one who referred to "breaking" horses. Yours was just an adage! And yet I get no PMs.
kinkyknickers
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Apr 8, 2008
- Posts
- 1,221
Seriously you don't want these one's PMing you.
I know full well you'd be able to beat this one down with a stick. Regardless of your status.
You don't want Trolls like that clip clopping under your bridge.
Etoile bridge.... All rights reserved.....
I know full well you'd be able to beat this one down with a stick. Regardless of your status.
You don't want Trolls like that clip clopping under your bridge.
Etoile bridge.... All rights reserved.....
Evil_Geoff
Equal Opportunity Sadist
- Joined
- Aug 23, 2005
- Posts
- 6,375
I finally got an asshat PM! From a male "slave" willing to relocate to serve me.
But I find I'm not in the mood to post the PM for all to see.
But I will share that he did reply on the Top side to 3 other personal ads for slaves looking for a Master... I figure that by itself qualifies the PM seeking to be my slave as an asshat. As if I wouldn't do something as simple as check an applicants' posting history...
But I find I'm not in the mood to post the PM for all to see.
But I will share that he did reply on the Top side to 3 other personal ads for slaves looking for a Master... I figure that by itself qualifies the PM seeking to be my slave as an asshat. As if I wouldn't do something as simple as check an applicants' posting history...
Breaker_Morant
Shoot straight!
- Joined
- Apr 8, 2008
- Posts
- 2,707
I finally got an asshat PM! From a male "slave" willing to relocate to serve me.
But I find I'm not in the mood to post the PM for all to see.
But I will share that he did reply on the Top side to 3 other personal ads for slaves looking for a Master... I figure that by itself qualifies the PM seeking to be my slave as an asshat. As if I wouldn't do something as simple as check an applicants' posting history...
Switch maybe?
Evil_Geoff
Equal Opportunity Sadist
- Joined
- Aug 23, 2005
- Posts
- 6,375
Maybe. But then why not say "I'm a switch, and I need someone to serve to fulfill some of my needs." ? Hmmmm?
Breaker_Morant
Shoot straight!
- Joined
- Apr 8, 2008
- Posts
- 2,707
LittleJade
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Apr 29, 2007
- Posts
- 11,030
Not that I don't appreciate the imagery and the articulation... but it's AWFULLY presumptuous for a first email.
I told him I am no one's pet. No one's sub. No one's slut.
DVS
A ghost from your dreams
- Joined
- Apr 17, 2002
- Posts
- 11,416
Maybe I'm destined to find these women...or it just happens. I've been on this one site, searching out a female sub. A lot are vanilla, but some that are BDSM, also.
But, it seems that the BDSM or more distinctly the bondage, spanking and the sadomasochistic elements of the site are also infiltrated with fakers who just act the part of a willing female submissive. They almost fall all over you, with lust and sexual energy, but instead of chatting with you in a normal way, or even emailing in a normal way, they want you to go to another site for this.
One "local" woman was all for most anything I wanted, but she first wanted to get to know me. The way she wanted to get to know me? I was to join a chat site...a PAY chat site, even. She even said she wanted us to take our time and get to know each other first, before we attempted any sexual connection.
Of course, she did. The whole time we'd be taking our time getting to know each other, I'd be paying for access to the chat site. Give me a break. How dumb do these people think I am?
To compound the situation, the pay chat site required I give them my credit card number (for age verification only, ha-ha), and also required the three digit code on the back of my card, which is necessary ONLY if you are setting up for a continuous billing system. PeLeeeease! Can you say RED FLAG!!
No, I didn't give them any of my real information. I used fake information, just far enough to see where it would lead me. They even required name, address, phone number, and email address. Pretty bold, I'd say.
I reported her to the site my profile is on, because it's a pay site, and paying customers shouldn't have to deal with scammers. We get enough of that on free sites.
The second "local" woman was just as ready to participate in anything I wanted, but she wanted me to register with another site, to prove that I was real. If I registered, I would receive many more revealing pictures of her, as well as her phone number. Good grief! Do people actually fall for this crap?
Again, I reported her to the site, too. Of course, I don't think any or my reporting did any good, because as long as the site gets their money, they don't really care what happens after that. Money is money.
There is a section in each profile to list sexual preferences. I filled that section out, but I've later found that most people don't. But, being the honest cad I am, I'm into total disclosure.
I get quite a few messages from women, who say they find me interesting. Of course, because most people don't fill this sexual section out, they don't even bother to look at it. They see my sweet smiling face and read my carefully worded text and their eyes glaze over with lust. Of course. You all know how masterful I am with such things. Right?
Anyway, in turn, I send them back a message, bringing to their attention that I filled out the sexual section of the profile and ask them to view it. I say if they still find me interesting...write back. Only in two instances, did I get another message. Both wanted me to explain BDSM for them.
Well, I attempted to do that, without scaring them away. But, I did want to include words such as bondage, spanking, control and yes, I even included the word PAIN. I tried to skirt around it as best I could, but it's just not an easy thing to do. You all know that. Either you enjoy pain or you don't.
Well, I lost those two, after that message. Oh, woe is me. Again, I'm alone and without the warmth of a sexual submissive female. But, have I given up? Of course not! Will I trudge on, in search of some sweet unsuspecting female to beat into submission? Yes...a thousand times, YES!
Um, I mean...I'll keep searching.
But, it seems that the BDSM or more distinctly the bondage, spanking and the sadomasochistic elements of the site are also infiltrated with fakers who just act the part of a willing female submissive. They almost fall all over you, with lust and sexual energy, but instead of chatting with you in a normal way, or even emailing in a normal way, they want you to go to another site for this.
One "local" woman was all for most anything I wanted, but she first wanted to get to know me. The way she wanted to get to know me? I was to join a chat site...a PAY chat site, even. She even said she wanted us to take our time and get to know each other first, before we attempted any sexual connection.
Of course, she did. The whole time we'd be taking our time getting to know each other, I'd be paying for access to the chat site. Give me a break. How dumb do these people think I am?
To compound the situation, the pay chat site required I give them my credit card number (for age verification only, ha-ha), and also required the three digit code on the back of my card, which is necessary ONLY if you are setting up for a continuous billing system. PeLeeeease! Can you say RED FLAG!!
No, I didn't give them any of my real information. I used fake information, just far enough to see where it would lead me. They even required name, address, phone number, and email address. Pretty bold, I'd say.
I reported her to the site my profile is on, because it's a pay site, and paying customers shouldn't have to deal with scammers. We get enough of that on free sites.
The second "local" woman was just as ready to participate in anything I wanted, but she wanted me to register with another site, to prove that I was real. If I registered, I would receive many more revealing pictures of her, as well as her phone number. Good grief! Do people actually fall for this crap?
Again, I reported her to the site, too. Of course, I don't think any or my reporting did any good, because as long as the site gets their money, they don't really care what happens after that. Money is money.
There is a section in each profile to list sexual preferences. I filled that section out, but I've later found that most people don't. But, being the honest cad I am, I'm into total disclosure.
I get quite a few messages from women, who say they find me interesting. Of course, because most people don't fill this sexual section out, they don't even bother to look at it. They see my sweet smiling face and read my carefully worded text and their eyes glaze over with lust. Of course. You all know how masterful I am with such things. Right?
Anyway, in turn, I send them back a message, bringing to their attention that I filled out the sexual section of the profile and ask them to view it. I say if they still find me interesting...write back. Only in two instances, did I get another message. Both wanted me to explain BDSM for them.
Well, I attempted to do that, without scaring them away. But, I did want to include words such as bondage, spanking, control and yes, I even included the word PAIN. I tried to skirt around it as best I could, but it's just not an easy thing to do. You all know that. Either you enjoy pain or you don't.
Well, I lost those two, after that message. Oh, woe is me. Again, I'm alone and without the warmth of a sexual submissive female. But, have I given up? Of course not! Will I trudge on, in search of some sweet unsuspecting female to beat into submission? Yes...a thousand times, YES!
Um, I mean...I'll keep searching.
Last edited:
00Syd
Secret Agent
- Joined
- Dec 26, 2007
- Posts
- 4,580
Maybe I'm destined to find these women...or it just happens. I've been on this one site, searching out a female sub. A lot are vanilla, but some that are BDSM, also.
<Snip!>
Um, I mean...I'll keep searching.
The sad thing is that there really are people who fall for that sort of scam all the time.
DVS
A ghost from your dreams
- Joined
- Apr 17, 2002
- Posts
- 11,416
...ALT?You need to come to ALT this weekend!
Evil_Geoff
Equal Opportunity Sadist
- Joined
- Aug 23, 2005
- Posts
- 6,375
FurryFury
Addict of Sensation
- Joined
- Apr 3, 2005
- Posts
- 29,460
Sleep deprivation and too much driving make for piss poor typing. Thanks for the correction.
rida
rope grupie
- Joined
- Sep 9, 2007
- Posts
- 4,823
Sleep deprivation and too much driving make for piss poor typing. Thanks for the correction.
Although you have to admit that a ALT get together would be really fun ... or boring
.... - Status
