ASSHAT AWARDS: Best of the Worst PMs and Emails Received

[EmpressFi]

Yanno.. I go months without one..and now two within one week...

hey empress would love to change your luck

 

[twysted73]

Happy to pin it up.

QUOTE=crow459]I am a 46 yo male. I can teach you lots! I am crow459 on yahoo messenger.
Cum chat with me!
crow459[/QUOTE]



~ Her response:

Hi Crow,
I'm not quite sure where to start.
Firstly, I do not post in the personals. That should tell you that I am not looking to "hook up" with anybody.
I only post in the BDSM boards. That should tell you that I am submissive. If you had taken the time to look at some of my threads you would also realize that submissive does not equal stupid or desperate.
As it is evident you have no idea about the D/s dynamics I should let you know that there is not a chance in hell that you could teach me anything. This would have also been apparent had you read my posts.
I have on my signature line that you cannot handle me. What is it about you, is it arrogance, that makes you think you could, or that you even deserve the opportunity?
I must update my signature to indicate that I am owned & collared. And if you had any clue at all you would understand that that means I am not interested. If you still thought you had a snowballs chance in hell, which you wouldn't, then you would need to PM Twysted dierctly to ask permission to proposition me. I would have liked to see his response to that!
Here's a hint. If you're trolling for something easy & meaningless I suggest you approach those that have expressed in interest. Propositioning me just magnifies for me how unworthy you are.
With distaste, TMS

 

[TeachMeSir]

QUOTE=crow459]I am a 46 yo male. I can teach you lots! I am crow459 on yahoo messenger.
Cum chat with me!
crow459

.....

 

[faeriefire]

Asshat: Hiya babe. Cum chat with me.

Me: No thanks! I think I'll pass

 

[gloriann]

Someone mentioned collarme: yeah, those messages can be quite entertaining. I don't care if you can't read "domme" on my profile, or if you thought I was a sub, or if you thought I was your sub, or even if I was a sub; a stranger does not come, out of the blue, and tell me what to do. Usually I just rip them a new one and leave it at that.

However, the most amusing and slightly disgusting PM I got in the lit chatroom was: "Come over here and sniff my balls."

Really? That works?

 

[00Syd]

However, the most amusing and slightly disgusting PM I got in the lit chatroom was: "Come over here and sniff my balls."

Really? That works?

http://youtube.com/watch?v=ruef7aYCEbc

 

[faeriefire]

When it rains it pours...

hi

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

does your brother know how much you like to finger your pussy?

 

[rida]

Do you think nude pics can be a form of control? I have a family friend that knows about my pics and is threatening to expose me.

And you are asking me because???


Now, I did check his posts out and he has some full view (head to toes) pics up in the Am Pic Forum, so part of me want to tell him "you are a grown up and it is nobody's business what you do in private, but if it can damage you, you should have thought about it before" ... maybe I'll be nice and reply to his PM ...

 

[rida]

The thing is, I actually think I am turned on by the fact that my moms friend has pictures of me naked. I don't think I want my family(even stepfamily) to have them but maybe some more older family friends.

I should have known better than feel sorry and give a though out answer ...

 

[Daddyslilpet]

It's always a setup... They are always ready with an answer for you... sorry about that. LOL.

 

[rida]

It's always a setup... They are always ready with an answer for you... sorry about that. LOL.

yeah .. lol!

I've been just ignoring them all the time in the past ... felt a bit bored and a bit nice ... and that is what I got! LOL! Didn't even do much for the bored part

 

[RUbensBeautY]

The politish horny suitor:

Hello there,

It is not my intention to bother you but I was just wondering if you like younger men? I am 29 and have a new-found appreciation for more mature women. Again, sorry if I bothered you and I hope you have a great day.

The reply:

Thanks for the note. I am 23 and highly insulted.

 

[Etoile]

The politish horny suitor:

Hello there,

It is not my intention to bother you but I was just wondering if you like younger men? I am 29 and have a new-found appreciation for more mature women. Again, sorry if I bothered you and I hope you have a great day.

The reply:

Thanks for the note. I am 23 and highly insulted.

Hahahaha!

 

[satindesire]

The politish horny suitor:

Hello there,

It is not my intention to bother you but I was just wondering if you like younger men? I am 29 and have a new-found appreciation for more mature women. Again, sorry if I bothered you and I hope you have a great day.

The reply:

Thanks for the note. I am 23 and highly insulted.

*SPEW!!*

 

[sexycaz22]

Been a while since I last posted in this thread.........finally got one which is more appropriate for this thread:

hi so r u ready to kneel for a dom that can take you sexually to new heights do u like to be challenged as a sub and respected for the way u serve your dom so if u are ready to take what a dom can give you i expect to hear from you soon

Excuse me, you expect me to be kneeling for you? NO thank you! AND if you read my profile properly, I am a bottom, and is not looking to submit fully! Now, go away!

(didn't reply back...perhaps I should! lol)

 

[Etoile]

Been a while since I last posted in this thread.........finally got one which is more appropriate for this thread:



Excuse me, you expect me to be kneeling for you? NO thank you! AND if you read my profile properly, I am a bottom, and is not looking to submit fully! Now, go away!

(didn't reply back...perhaps I should! lol)

My response would have been: Why yes, I am ready to kneel for such a dom. Too bad that's not you.

 

[rinka]

second thoughts

 

[VelvetDarkness]

I'm goin to destroy u fuckin whore. I'm goin to use u till u choak and die

My reply:

You're going to sit in front of your computer and jerk off like the pathetic little dickless fucktard you are. Guys like you make me wish I was homicidally sadistic.

 

[Etoile]

My reply:

You're going to sit in front of your computer and jerk off like the pathetic little dickless fucktard you are. Guys like you make me wish I was homicidally sadistic.

My reply would have been: Use me as what, a proofreader?

 

[DVS]

I'm goin to destroy u fuckin whore. I'm goin to use u till u choak and die

OK, now that's hot. What part did you find offensive? Do you want dinner and a show first?

 

[kinkyknickers]

Ya know, ever since I added my current avatar I haven't had one seedy PM!? Go figure..... looks like trolls are scared of sharp thingsKK

 

[BiBunny]

I'm bored today and fucking with an idiot on CollarMe who's messaged me several times before. Today's the first time I've felt like responding to him, though.

Him: do u turn men into cocksuckers

Me: For a price, perhaps.

Him: men pay to become cocksuckers? that sounds almost like a punishment

Me: You'd be amazed what men will pay for and enjoy. You probably wouldn't be amazed at the number of stupid questions I get in my inbox every day, however.

We shall see if he takes the hint or not.

 

[BiBunny]

I'm bored today and fucking with an idiot on CollarMe who's messaged me several times before. Today's the first time I've felt like responding to him, though.

Him: do u turn men into cocksuckers

Me: For a price, perhaps.

Him: men pay to become cocksuckers? that sounds almost like a punishment

Me: You'd be amazed what men will pay for and enjoy. You probably wouldn't be amazed at the number of stupid questions I get in my inbox every day, however.

We shall see if he takes the hint or not.

Yes, I'm quoting myself, but this was too good not to follow up on.

Him: true, ive witnessed it once
when i was in a gay bar, it was like being a woman in america
getting aprroached and harassed and bought things for.
wel twice, in australia its reverse, 7 women to 3 men, so women are beggers, and the men are abusers.

hell the irony of a woman turning a man into a cocksucker is interesting , but deathly im sure lol

Me: Funny you should mention irony. You sure as hell missed it just then.

 

[her_soffie]

Yes, I'm quoting myself, but this was too good not to follow up on.

Him: true, ive witnessed it once
when i was in a gay bar, it was like being a woman in america
getting aprroached and harassed and bought things for.
wel twice, in australia its reverse, 7 women to 3 men, so women are beggers, and the men are abusers.

hell the irony of a woman turning a man into a cocksucker is interesting , but deathly im sure lol

Me: Funny you should mention irony. You sure as hell missed it just then.

Damn, that's funny ! Is your AV of Janeane Garofalo or you, because your sense of humor is as wicked as hers. I like !

 

[her_soffie]

http://youtube.com/watch?v=ruef7aYCEbc

Great post ! I guess it should be expected from someone with the MC5 and Big Liebowski in their sig line ! " I wanna be your dog" .