Aussie's Self Pleasure Study Club

[Azuldrgon]

That is awesome!!!

 

[MrMikelobe1952]

That's great, Aussie.

I stopped by this thread to post a referal to an article in the Science Section in, of all things, the New York Times this week. https://www.nytimes.com/2022/10/17/health/clitoris-sex-doctors-surgery.html
If you don't subscribe, I"m not sure you can get access. But in the early days of this thread, there was considerable discussion of the anatomy of the clitoris. This article is worth looking at because:
1. It shows that the mass media is catching up to Aussie.
2. It discusses how little doctors, even ob-gyn's, know about the clit, and
3. It contains cautionary tales for someone planning reconsturctive surgery. Make sure your doc knows about this wonderful organ.

 

[tnman03]

AGG an hour sure does sound like a workout, so don't forget to hydrate.

And good for you, taking time for self-care is important.

 

[aussiegeekygal]

That's great, Aussie.

I stopped by this thread to post a referal to an article in the Science Section in, of all things, the New York Times this week. https://www.nytimes.com/2022/10/17/health/clitoris-sex-doctors-surgery.html
If you don't subscribe, I"m not sure you can get access. But in the early days of this thread, there was considerable discussion of the anatomy of the clitoris. This article is worth looking at because:
1. It shows that the mass media is catching up to Aussie.
2. It discusses how little doctors, even ob-gyn's, know about the clit, and
3. It contains cautionary tales for someone planning reconsturctive surgery. Make sure your doc knows about this wonderful organ.

Preach!

I am needing reconstructive surgery after everything the world has thrown at me the past five years and finding a gyn surgeon who truly understood the clit and was willing to work with my sexual goals was harder to find than I expected. There are a lot of docs out there who are woefully ignorant, especially when it comes to female pleasure. I mean, the husband stitch is still a thing

 

[aussiegeekygal]

Are y'all interested in more sex Ed stuff?
Because I'm forever a researcher

 

[MrMikelobe1952]

Preach!

I am needing reconstructive surgery after everything the world has thrown at me the past five years and finding a gyn surgeon who truly understood the clit and was willing to work with my sexual goals was harder to find than I expected. There are a lot of docs out there who are woefully ignorant, especially when it comes to female pleasure. I mean, the husband stitch is still a thing

That was basically the point of the article. That doctors who specialize in female reproductive systems don't know shit about the clit or female sexual health. It contrasts the way doctors deal with trying to protect male sexual function when doing prostate surgery with how doctors don't think about whether something they do is going to affect the female orgasm.

What's the husband stitch?

 

[aussiegeekygal]

That was basically the point of the article. That doctors who specialize in female reproductive systems don't know shit about the clit or female sexual health. It contrasts the way doctors deal with trying to protect male sexual function when doing prostate surgery with how doctors don't think about whether something they do is going to affect the female orgasm.

What's the husband stitch?

Oh, it's mortifying.

When repairing vulvar tears, providers will add an additional stitch so that the opening of the vagina is narrower. It's sole reason is to improve the sexual sensations for guys, but it's fucking painful and definitely going to tear with each subsequent baby.

The husband stitch

Some dudes actually ask for it

 

[tnman03]

Oh, it's mortifying.

When repairing vulvar tears, providers will add an additional stitch so that the opening of the vagina is narrower. It's sole reason is to improve the sexual sensations for guys, but it's fucking painful and definitely going to tear with each subsequent baby.

The husband stitch

Some dudes actually ask for it

Well, that's disturbing news.

 

[aussiegeekygal]

Well, that's disturbing news.

The misogyny that exists in healthcare is deeply disturbing

 

[MrMikelobe1952]

Oh, it's mortifying.

When repairing vulvar tears, providers will add an additional stitch so that the opening of the vagina is narrower. It's sole reason is to improve the sexual sensations for guys, but it's fucking painful and definitely going to tear with each subsequent baby.

The husband stitch

Some dudes actually ask for it

That's horrifying.
Not what I needed to hear before I go to bed.
How about sewing a little extra on top of the penis so that it rubs against the clit.
I'm not convinced a "tight pussy" is a thing, anyway. Yes, there is a lot of stretching with a baby, but absent some tearing, the vagina is pretty elastic gets back to shape.
I think a tight pussy means the guy hasn't aroused the woman and is just plowing in.

 

[Cotswolds]

Preach!

I am needing reconstructive surgery after everything the world has thrown at me the past five years and finding a gyn surgeon who truly understood the clit and was willing to work with my sexual goals was harder to find than I expected. There are a lot of docs out there who are woefully ignorant, especially when it comes to female pleasure. I mean, the husband stitch is still a thing

As someone who spends a fair amount of time helping women give birth to their young, I find the prevalence of asshole husbands/partners who find asking for an extra stitch a subject for humour incredibly alarming. I mean, really?

 

[Icy1]

I hope you don’t mind me going off track here but it kind of relates. Sort of.
I attended every appointment with my mum as she was being treated for vulva cancer.
She was in her mid seventies at the time. There were no questions asked about whether she was or wished to still be sexually active after treatment. I found that surprising.

I wonder if they’d have asked a younger woman.

 

[aussiegeekygal]

I hope you don’t mind me going off track here but it kind of relates. Sort of.
I attended every appointment with my mum as she was being treated for vulva cancer.
She was in her mid seventies at the time. There were no questions asked about whether she was or wished to still be sexually active after treatment. I found that surprising.

I wonder if they’d have asked a younger woman.

It's hard to know.

But I know for a fact that we discuss sexual function with seventy year old men going through treatment for prostate and testicular cancer.

 

[MrMikelobe1952]

I hope you don’t mind me going off track here but it kind of relates. Sort of.
I attended every appointment with my mum as she was being treated for vulva cancer.
She was in her mid seventies at the time. There were no questions asked about whether she was or wished to still be sexually active after treatment. I found that surprising.

I wonder if they’d have asked a younger woman.

That's not really off track. Obviously, it raises an issue of age bias intersecting with gender discrimination.
I'm not a doctor, so I don't know as I can imagine the scene, but the idea of talking to a 70 year old woman about her sex life would have been totally inconceivable to me when I was much younger.
Now, it doesn't phase me. But I don't think that's because I'm enlightened. Its just because I'm old and interested in 70 year old women.

 

[AveryElle]

I hope you don’t mind me going off track here but it kind of relates. Sort of.
I attended every appointment with my mum as she was being treated for vulva cancer.
She was in her mid seventies at the time. There were no questions asked about whether she was or wished to still be sexually active after treatment. I found that surprising.

I wonder if they’d have asked a younger woman.

As someone going through active breast cancer treatment, no one asks about your sex life. Chemo, breast surgery, radiation burns, hormone altering medications that put you in menopause or menopause-like states.
I find the most useful resources from other breast cancer patients, but my oncologist - who is young - has never brought up my sexual wellbeing. Neither did my breast surgeon. So I don’t expect it’s an age thing. i hope your mom is doing ok now.

 

[Icy1]

It’s interesting then that sexual function is discussed with men and not women.
I had read that dialators could be used during treatment for vulva cancer but I’m not sure if I’d have been able to stand the pain on top of radiation burn anyway. That’d take a very tough person.

And thanks @AveryElley mum is doing well now. Also if it’s not too forward what age group are you in?

 

[tnman03]

As someone going through active breast cancer treatment, no one asks about your sex life. Chemo, breast surgery, radiation burns, hormone altering medications that put you in menopause or menopause-like states.
I find the most useful resources from other breast cancer patients, but my oncologist - who is young - has never brought up my sexual wellbeing. Neither did my breast surgeon. So I don’t expect it’s an age thing. i hope your mom is doing ok now.

How are you doing Avery? Is there anything that I or others here can do for you? Kindle or e-reader content? Items needed from a non-identifying AMZ acct? You have my best wishes and sincerest hope for a speedy and full recovery.

It’s interesting then that sexual function is discussed with men and not women.
I had read that dialators could be used during treatment for vulva cancer but I’m not sure if I’d have been able to stand the pain on top of radiation burn anyway. That’d take a very tough person.

And thanks @AveryElley mum is doing well now. Also if it’s not too forward what age group are you in?

I'm really glad that your mother is doing well.

 

[AveryElle]

It’s interesting then that sexual function is discussed with men and not women.
I had read that dialators could be used during treatment for vulva cancer but I’m not sure if I’d have been able to stand the pain on top of radiation burn anyway. That’d take a very tough person.

And thanks @AveryElley mum is doing well now. Also if it’s not too forward what age group are you in?

I’m in the pre-menopausal age group where discussing sex With my oncologist would be welcomed but instead I discuss it with randos on the internet with the same experiences. Luckily I have an amazing husband who understands (or, tries to) what I’m going through and is patient. Anyway, sorry to de-rail!

ETA: glad your mom is doing well. It’s a hard road to walk down, I’m glad she had you there.

 

[MrMikelobe1952]

As someone going through active breast cancer treatment, no one asks about your sex life. Chemo, breast surgery, radiation burns, hormone altering medications that put you in menopause or menopause-like states.
I find the most useful resources from other breast cancer patients, but my oncologist - who is young - has never brought up my sexual wellbeing. Neither did my breast surgeon. So I don’t expect it’s an age thing. i hope your mom is doing ok now.

I hope the treatment is successful.

Do you mind me asking the gender of the doctors? Were they both men?

 

[Icy1]

I’m in the pre-menopausal age group where discussing sex With my oncologist would be welcomed but instead I discuss it with randos on the internet with the same experiences. Luckily I have an amazing husband who understands (or, tries to) what I’m going through and is patient. Anyway, sorry to de-rail!

ETA: glad your mom is doing well. It’s a hard road to walk down, I’m glad she had you there.

Sometimes randos on the internet can give you a more human living with it aspect than doctors can but still….

I’m glad you have support and understanding from your husband.

 

[AveryElle]

I hope the treatment is successful.

Do you mind me asking the gender of the doctors? Were they both men?

All of my doctors from start until now have been women. My surgeon and onco are my age or younger. Radiologists were about my age or older. Interventional rads, not sure. But so far, it’s ladies night up in my titty.

 

[AveryElle]

I’ll also add that when I was trying to get treatment for Post Partum, the one doctor I could see wrote me an Rx for meds with the ‘lowest chance of weight gain’. She also did not mention or discuss sex with me, even though sexual issues are a very common side effect with anti depressants or anti anxiety meds. She was a young woman and her fat phobia was more glaring than anything else.

 

[MrMikelobe1952]

All of my doctors from start until now have been women. My surgeon and onco are my age or younger. Radiologists were about my age or older. Interventional rads, not sure. But so far, it’s ladies night up in my titty.

That is a little disappointing, that they would not even acknowledge that this is something you are likely to be concerned about. I'm sure they are not taught much on the topic, and docs don't like to acknowledge ignorance, but if there is anyone who should be ready to discuss this issue, you'd think it would be a female doctor.

 

[AveryElle]

That is a little disappointing, that they would not even acknowledge that this is something you are likely to be concerned about. I'm sure they are not taught much on the topic, and docs don't like to acknowledge ignorance, but if there is anyone who should be ready to discuss this issue, you'd think it would be a female doctor.

No, the medical field only recently learned that women are patients. There are, however, great non-profits that help with all aspects.

I wouldn't expect a female doctor who has not experienced a gynecologic cancer herself to really understand the ramifications of treatment. There's only so much time in medical school, it's like how they don't learn anything about nutrition either yet almost all end up with tremendous anti-fat bias.

 

[MrMikelobe1952]

No, the medical field only recently learned that women are patients. There are, however, great non-profits that help with all aspects.

I wouldn't expect a female doctor who has not experienced a gynecologic cancer herself to really understand the ramifications of treatment. There's only so much time in medical school, it's like how they don't learn anything about nutrition either yet almost all end up with tremendous anti-fat bias.

I understand what you are saying, and it makes sense.
However, I think that, regardless of what is taught in medical school, male doctors would recognize the importance of sexual function to their male patients because, well, because it is important to them. I'm not blaming the women docs. Even today, women face an uphill battle in the medical establishment, especially if they choose to enter surgery or another highly compensated specialty. But I would have hoped that the process of medical education would not have caused them to submerge their humanity to such an extent.