Bring back the adventurous, kinky wife I used to have

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

That proves exactly nothing.
My grandparents have been married for 70 and my grandfather was still a psychotic selfcentered attention whoring sociopath.

...and married 70 years. Maybe your grandmother has a kink for him. I've noticed that women stay married to men who are a little religious and a little mad.

 

[StrayKat]

...and married 70 years. Maybe your grandmother has a kink for him. I've noticed that women stay married to men who are a little religious and a little mad.

Nope. She more or less despised him.
My family has a tradition of long and unhappy marriages. The divorces started only in the 3rd generation.

My point - being married 41 years doesnt give you right to judge others as idiots because the longevity of your marriage may depend on many factors unrelated to how smart or stupid you are.
Oh and personally I couldnt even fuck a religious man least marry one.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Nope. She more or less despised him.
My family has a tradition of long and unhappy marriages. The divorces started only in the 3rd generation.

My point - being married 41 years doesnt give you right to judge others as idiots because the longevity of your marriage may depend on many factors unrelated to how smart or stupid you are.
Oh and personally I couldnt even fuck a religious man least marry one.

I have a right to judge, simply because no one has the power to stop me. You don't gotta like my conclusions, tho. Relationships aint forged in heaven by the angels, relationships are processes all are acquainted with from birth and before. Like gardening and animal husbandry, we either relish the work or try and squeeze shortcuts in on our partners.

 

[MeekMe]

I am sorry but I dont think it takes mind reading to know someone who worked all day long and some more is tired.

I am completely baffled at woman whose husband is working all day, half of the night, then sleeping 3 hours on sofa just not to wake her up, then working all day again and then coming home just to find out he has to cook his own dinner because she is playing video games?! Why it didnt take him a mind reading and longassed conversations to know he would wake her up coming to bed at 3 am?

No matter what kind of situation my marriage is in, if my husband works all day I will drop the fucking video game and cook him a dinner out of common humanity without anyone having to tell me so. Are we talking reasonable adults here or spoiled children without care for anyone but themselves?

You seem really angry whenever you quote me.

It would make sense for someone to cook dinner when that's the thing they always do. OP's wife doesn't usually do that task. In response, my husband isn't usually the one to cook dinner. Generally I was ok with coming home and making dinner, but that day was a particularly hard day exacerbated by a lost lunch.

I'm only trying to give my own experiences in possibly helping. If you have some good advice and it's better than my own, please add to the discussion because at this point it has got to be better than "have your wife fuck another dude."

The only thing I'm trying to say by giving my example was that communication may make a difference. It's what works for me so it's what I have to offer.

Query, that makes so much sense.

 

[hangdawg]

I've been married 41 years, so your proposition fails. Try again.

The Kim's took over North Korea in 1948 which was 66 years ago so they MUST be good leaders, huh?
By contrast JFK was President about 3 months under 3 years so he MUST have been a bad leader.
A length of time does not establish good or bad. That has to be the most ridiculous thing I've read in this thread.

 

[hangdawg]

You seem really angry whenever you quote me.

It would make sense for someone to cook dinner when that's the thing they always do. OP's wife doesn't usually do that task. In response, my husband isn't usually the one to cook dinner. Generally I was ok with coming home and making dinner, but that day was a particularly hard day exacerbated by a lost lunch.

I'm only trying to give my own experiences in possibly helping. If you have some good advice and it's better than my own, please add to the discussion because at this point it has got to be better than "have your wife fuck another dude."

The only thing I'm trying to say by giving my example was that communication may make a difference. It's what works for me so it's what I have to offer.

Query, that makes so much sense.

To be perfectly blunt MeekMe, I think the issue is that you make your marriage sound like an idyllic wonderland that runs smoothly simply because you talk. That may very well be the case for you two, but, I think 95% of the married people would at the very least be jealous and probably call BS.
Don't take this as me putting you down. I have enjoyed yours posts and thought about and implemented from them as much as everyone else's posts. Don't want you to stop is what I'm saying.

 

[StrayKat]

You seem really angry whenever you quote me.

Huh what?
I dont think I actually ever quoted you so please dont give me that passive aggressive "you hate me not disagree with what I said" because its just not true.

I do not believe that any kind of talk can miraculously change uncaring, selfish human being into caring generous one. It is good that talking works for you, more power to you. It doesnt work for everyone. To some people you can talk until you go blue in the face and exactly nothing will change.

I am angry because I feel OP was unfairly treated like a trash by someone who actually wowed to be by his side in good and in bad. I would be angry if the total stranger on the street would show so little care for another human being, least someone close. Even more so in light of the entire thread which shows his good intentions and will to make things better for the two of them. Pardon my French, but it feels like she shitted on all his efforts.

And I cannot justify her and I dont want to justify her. Because justifying selfishness and uncaring gives us the society where some stranger can drop dead on the street and none stops to help. Lack of basic humanity should be punished severely, not talked about. Imho.

I have a right to judge, simply because no one has the power to stop me.

True.
But then I have a right to judge you back and judge your marriage based on attitude you show here, so now I am even more convinced your 41 years of marriage are not a product of your stellar personality but some completely different factors.

 

[MeekMe]

To be perfectly blunt MeekMe, I think the issue is that you make your marriage sound like an idyllic wonderland that runs smoothly simply because you talk. That may very well be the case for you two, but, I think 95% of the married people would at the very least be jealous and probably call BS.
Don't take this as me putting you down. I have enjoyed yours posts and thought about and implemented from them as much as everyone else's posts. Don't want you to stop is what I'm saying.

My marriage isn't smooth. But we talk to each other like adults. Communication is always open and things are never "fixed" with one talk. I'm sorry if I made it sound like things are fantastic, the truth is we have our fair share of shit storms.

I wish you good luck in your marriage and hope that you can work things out.

 

[MeekMe]

Huh what?
I dont think I actually ever quoted you so please dont give me that passive aggressive "you hate me not disagree with what I said" because its just not true.

I do not believe that any kind of talk can miraculously change uncaring, selfish human being into caring generous one. It is good that talking works for you, more power to you. It doesnt work for everyone. To some people you can talk until you go blue in the face and exactly nothing will change.

I am angry because I feel OP was unfairly treated like a trash by someone who actually wowed to be by his side in good and in bad. I would be angry if the total stranger on the street would show so little care for another human being, least someone close. Even more so in light of the entire thread which shows his good intentions and will to make things better for the two of them. Pardon my French, but it feels like she shitted on all his efforts.

And I cannot justify her and I dont want to justify her. Because justifying selfishness and uncaring gives us the society where some stranger can drop dead on the street and none stops to help. Lack of basic humanity should be punished severely, not talked about. Imho.

I'll admit that was passive aggressive, but when I read your posts they sound so angry.

OP was treated badly, I wont justify her behavior. It was uncaring and selfish, but I don't actually know either of them or what their relationship is actually like. I can only make assumptions based on one side of the story.

OP getting angry and seething about dinner not being made is fine, but who is it hurting? OP can sit there and get angry and feel hurt, but his wife may not understand that it was her actions, or lack of action, that upset him. I believe that talking about it and getting both sides of the story could be helpful. Along with letting her know about the situation and what he was expecting. Talking doesn't help everyone. I can only give advice through my own experiences.

At this point, from your post, not caring enough to make dinner for a tired person is going to lead to not calling for help when someone dies in the street. That's pretty extreme. Also, talking to someone who is uncaring and selfish won't help the situation because that person won't change. With that logic, OP just needs to lawyer up because his wife doesn't care about him and never will. I really hope that isn't the case.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

The Kim's took over North Korea in 1948 which was 66 years ago so they MUST be good leaders, huh?
By contrast JFK was President about 3 months under 3 years so he MUST have been a bad leader.
A length of time does not establish good or bad. That has to be the most ridiculous thing I've read in this thread.

I do marriage as well as I do gardening...I give God advice.

 

[Hypoxia]

I do marriage as well as I do gardening...I give God advice.

And, just like here, you are usually ignored.

 

[StrayKat]

I'll admit that was passive aggressive, but when I read your posts they sound so angry.

This one was and I explained why. Others? Not really. I dont do angry on the internet much.
What may sound angry to you can just be the way I express my opinions. Generally blunt and without sugar coating. You dont have to like it but please dont try to assume you know what I feel just based on a few typed words.

OP was treated badly, I wont justify her behavior. It was uncaring and selfish, but I don't actually know either of them or what their relationship is actually like. I can only make assumptions based on one side of the story.

I see how OP writes in this thread. He seems to be genuinely interested in his wife and I dont see him accusing her or being angry at her for lack of satisfactory sex. He is trying to change himself to accommodate her. I think I can safely assume he cares about her and wants to make her happy.
Then you have that one post sounding angry and tired and flat out gutted with how she acts.

Where you see the "side of the story" I see facts. Him working 2 days in row with hardly any sleep and still being considerate not to wake her up. Coming home to no dinner and wife playing video game and apparently no interest in making said dinner. He says she knows exactly how much time he spent working.
Unless OP is lying I cant see "her side of the story" at all. Unless she plays video games for living and had a real time match that would provide them both with a holiday of their dreams for the rest of the year

OP getting angry and seething about dinner not being made is fine, but who is it hurting? OP can sit there and get angry and feel hurt, but his wife may not understand that it was her actions, or lack of action, that upset him. I believe that talking about it and getting both sides of the story could be helpful. Along with letting her know about the situation and what he was expecting. Talking doesn't help everyone. I can only give advice through my own experiences.

People cant feel the certain way rationally. Even if its only hurting them they will get angry and seethe. Its emotions, they cant always be controlled.
If she doesnt understand and know after 2 days work without sleep her husband is overtired, if she needs to be told that, then she is not a somewhat normal adult. It is like saying you have to tell someone they will crash the car if they keep driving right into a wall. Some expectations are so basic I dont think they need to be told.

At this point, from your post, not caring enough to make dinner for a tired person is going to lead to not calling for help when someone dies in the street. That's pretty extreme. Also, talking to someone who is uncaring and selfish won't help the situation because that person won't change. With that logic, OP just needs to lawyer up because his wife doesn't care about him and never will. I really hope that isn't the case.

I didnt say that. I said that understanding and justifying selfishness and uncaring may lead to a society like we actually have already at least partially. There should be a line for lack of humanity to be unacceptable. No talk, no understanding; but a penalty.

I dont know what OP can or cant do, that is up to him, he probably knows some better traits in her he didnt mention and only he knows how much he can take and what are the deal breakers.
I can say for me, personally, a situation like he described would be a pretty heavy weight on my marriage and I cant say that lawyer would not be the solution in the end. But that is me, not you not him.

In the end, I dont have advice. It is a situation with so many factors and so dependable on people involved I would not want to give advice even if I knew them irl, least on internet forum. Too risky imo.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

And, just like here, you are usually ignored.

That's all about to change...I just now ordained myself Prince of Dudes. I may start a HOW TO BE A DUDE thread.

BTW People ignore me cuz they have like 2 word vocabularies...HUH and DUH. For me its like talking to dogs. All people get is BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH GINGER.

 

[njlauren]

I've been married 41 years, so your proposition fails. Try again.

There was a cartoon in the New Yorker years ago, where there is an old couple sitting in their living room, glowering at one another, and the caption was something like "here lie the Hendersons, 50 years of complete and utter disengagement" (or some such).....Just because a marriage is long term, doesn't mean it is a good one. Someone married 50 years like the cartoon I just cited wouldn't be a very good source of information.

And may I suggest, instead of posting something like "What everyone else posted is absurd", how about actually adding to the conversation? Claiming authority is easy, actually demonstrating it is hard.

 

[njlauren]

hangdawg-

I wish I had a magic formula for you or simple answers, but there aren't any, relationships are difficult, they can suck, they can irritate the piss out of people, and so forth. Sex is also a bitch, because there are so many ways it can get fouled up, stress does it, inhibitions does it, hormones an do it, stupid misunderstandings can do it, resentments, often petty, can do it. Then you get where one partner isn't into sex, but then does it to 'please their partner', and that sucks, too.

Reading your posts, I see things I recognize, others I don't. In my case, it is me whose sex drive has dropped/droops, and it isn't physical. As my wife will say, once I get going it is great, but that is the problem, getting going. Like you, I tend to work long hours, with a lot of stress, I have a long commute, work 10 hour days at work, come home, quickly eat, then often work. My wife is SAHM, our son is away at school now, and yet I feel like with things around the house, a lot depends on me. If something needs fixing, either I do it or I have to call someone in to do it, my wife won't..and yes, that leads to resentment, sometimes I feel like someone paying the bills...and I generally am dead tired, and then my wife wonders why I am not up to having sex, sometimes cuddling takes what little energy I have. There also are some other things I suspect, that when we were young and my sex drive was through the roof, our sex life was so so because of issues she had with sex, now that she is horny, I wonder if maybe I am subsconsciously 'getting back at her' a bit, for resentment over the past....

I write this to say I sure as hell don't have all the answers, but what I write is simply suggestions of thinks I have tried or think might work.

One of the biggest things is communication, and often it is in being a listener. When she says she doesn't feel good about herself, get her to describe why, listen, I know when we talk, if I can express my resentments and frustrations, of feeling trapped with a job out of control because of college costs, of being too tired to really have much in the way of hobbies or interests, and then what little time I have going to maintaining the house and such....it does help, to at least hear someone else acknowledge my feelings. You must have felt like you were a donkey the other night when you had to make your own dinner, like your wife and daughter didn't care, and it hurts......

With your wife, a lot of what she is experiencing could be her age, that she is feeling like she is into middle age and doesn't feel very sexy or desirable. Some of it can be a partner who doesn't make them feel appreciated, but some of that is what my wife calls mommy mode, she sees other women who get married, have kids, and go from being this attractive, sexy person into being mommy, all dowdy clothing and to be honest, kind of schlumpy personalities, too. Some of the conflict you wife may be feeling is maybe having desires of being sexual, of being sexy, but then feeling that conflicts with being a mom, that 'you don't do that', feeling conflicted. One of the positive signs is that she has expressed to you a desire to go back to the 'good' things, etc, which means she isn't totally dead.

The other thing is, could she also, when she said she wasn't feeling good about herself, feel like she somehow isn't holding up her end of things? Could she feel like you are working so hard, and she feels like she isn't an equal partner? I throw that out as a suggestion, I have dealt with that with my own wife, where she has gotten a bit depressed that she hasn't financially contributed for a long time, was/is a SAHM (well, stay at home wife, with our S at college), with me working so hard, and I wonder could that be part of it?

Like I said, I don't have any magic advice. I do think you guys need to talk about things, it isn't that things like showing you love her, touching her, etc won't work, they do, but I think a lot of it is in talking and getting what is bothering both of you out into the open. If she is feeling down on herself, depressed, because she feels like she is getting old, or feels like she is just a 'mom', or because she feels like you are working hard and she isn't able to give more, whatever it is, will kill the sex drive and spontanaity. Or if she feels like someone 'her age' and as a mom deep down shouldn't be feeling like that, it could be doing it, too.

From reading your posts, it doesn't sound like you have particularly deep issues that other people have mentioned, like keeping secrets about money and such and that is a good thing. I liked what someone said about having a vacation together, away from everything, that could do a lot, and finding regular time for date night is important, too, you guys need to feel like a couple, not just parents, not just breadwinner or the person who vacuums or fixes the car or whatever, you need to get out of those roles, to allow you guys to connect as the people you once were, too.......course, I am great at giving that advice, now have to follow it, too..
I wish you luck, keep working at it, it is all you really can do.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

There was a cartoon in the New Yorker years ago, where there is an old couple sitting in their living room, glowering at one another, and the caption was something like "here lie the Hendersons, 50 years of complete and utter disengagement" (or some such).....Just because a marriage is long term, doesn't mean it is a good one. Someone married 50 years like the cartoon I just cited wouldn't be a very good source of information.

And may I suggest, instead of posting something like "What everyone else posted is absurd", how about actually adding to the conversation? Claiming authority is easy, actually demonstrating it is hard.

I don't post to convince, people never buy facts or good sense, I post to put the reality out there with the nonsense. That's adding to the conversation AND pissing you off. If I'm right, and I am, it doesn't matter what you think of me, for sooner or later you must accept the reality that marital longevity is the meaning of good marital practices.

 

[GiggLeGasm]

This is the danger in posting advice to someone else based on your own life. Sometimes the thread grows from it and sometimes the thread becomes thoroughly derailed and, eventually, loses sincerity.

I do not disagree that longevity in a happy relationship is a sign of other traits. So, if we're going to include longevity in this how-to, what traits do you feel have positively contributed to this success?

I suppose that, by opening this can of worms, we will also hear about the things that people have learned to negotiate, but I would include "compromise" as one of the things a relationship needs.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

This is the danger in posting advice to someone else based on your own life. Sometimes the thread grows from it and sometimes the thread becomes thoroughly derailed and, eventually, loses sincerity.

I do not disagree that longevity in a happy relationship is a sign of other traits. So, if we're going to include longevity in this how-to, what traits do you feel have positively contributed to this success?

I suppose that, by opening this can of worms, we will also hear about the things that people have learned to negotiate, but I would include "compromise" as one of the things a relationship needs.

Longevity is the best evidence no one died from abuse.

 

[GiggLeGasm]

Longevity is the best evidence no one died from abuse.

or it could indicate that they've been dead so long that they don't even know

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

or it could indicate that they've been dead so long that they don't even know

Oh Stop! You know every woman on Earth dreams of her golden anniversary. And if she's up for 50 years he cant be THAT bad. The HT folks wonder how to make it one orgasm to the next.

 

[GiggLeGasm]

Oh Stop! You know every woman on Earth dreams of her golden anniversary. And if she's up for 50 years he cant be THAT bad. The HT folks wonder how to make it one orgasm to the next.

ha! and NOW we're back to the original subject… lol

 

[njlauren]

I don't post to convince, people never buy facts or good sense, I post to put the reality out there with the nonsense. That's adding to the conversation AND pissing you off. If I'm right, and I am, it doesn't matter what you think of me, for sooner or later you must accept the reality that marital longevity is the meaning of good marital practices.

Doesn't piss me off in the least bit, but it doesn't add to the conversation since basically you added nothing at all, which is not unusual for many of your posts. Claiming marital longevity is the meaning of good marital practices is complete and utter bs, any who has ever read the journals of people living in the time before divorce became legal, when thanks to religious belief made as law people were forced to stay married, you read legions of tales of people who went to their graves miserable because they were forced to stay married. Even today, you hear people who stay together because of the kids, for various reasons, and you hear tales of miserable marriages or see them. My parents stayed married for 45 years, until my mom died, and quite frankly, it was not because of good marital practices.

Yes, there are people who have been married and stay madly in love for many decades, the one where one dies and the other one dies not long after, and a marriage like that is worth examining, but age of a marriage is no indicator, any more than the age of someone giving advice is necessarily an indicator of how wise it has been. The other problem with your advice is claiming all knowingness, claiming 'this is the answer', when every couple is different, every relationship is different, and offering "advice from God" quite honestly usually boils down to what some religion claims, which often has been stick it out, marriage is sacred, a woman's duty is to please her man and other claptrap. It took the Catholic Church until the 1970's to finallly admit that sex between married couples, all through the marriage, is an important part of the marital bond, rather than having a common culture that made sex in marriage about making babies and once that was done, that is it (don't believe me? Do some digging on Google, about the Papal statement on sex and marriage, it is quite interesting). One size doesn't fit all, and claiming that swinging is the answer, or threesomes, or open marriages, or bringing roses, or acting like the caveman with your wife, or meeting your husband at the door in heels and a leopard print bikini with a martini in hand, all are suggestions that might work for some people, but may not work for others, it is why people generally say "this is what worked for me".

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Doesn't piss me off in the least bit, but it doesn't add to the conversation since basically you added nothing at all, which is not unusual for many of your posts. Claiming marital longevity is the meaning of good marital practices is complete and utter bs, any who has ever read the journals of people living in the time before divorce became legal, when thanks to religious belief made as law people were forced to stay married, you read legions of tales of people who went to their graves miserable because they were forced to stay married. Even today, you hear people who stay together because of the kids, for various reasons, and you hear tales of miserable marriages or see them. My parents stayed married for 45 years, until my mom died, and quite frankly, it was not because of good marital practices.

Yes, there are people who have been married and stay madly in love for many decades, the one where one dies and the other one dies not long after, and a marriage like that is worth examining, but age of a marriage is no indicator, any more than the age of someone giving advice is necessarily an indicator of how wise it has been. The other problem with your advice is claiming all knowingness, claiming 'this is the answer', when every couple is different, every relationship is different, and offering "advice from God" quite honestly usually boils down to what some religion claims, which often has been stick it out, marriage is sacred, a woman's duty is to please her man and other claptrap. It took the Catholic Church until the 1970's to finallly admit that sex between married couples, all through the marriage, is an important part of the marital bond, rather than having a common culture that made sex in marriage about making babies and once that was done, that is it (don't believe me? Do some digging on Google, about the Papal statement on sex and marriage, it is quite interesting). One size doesn't fit all, and claiming that swinging is the answer, or threesomes, or open marriages, or bringing roses, or acting like the caveman with your wife, or meeting your husband at the door in heels and a leopard print bikini with a martini in hand, all are suggestions that might work for some people, but may not work for others, it is why people generally say "this is what worked for me".

I stipulate you don't like my posts but I don't stipulate you have any bases for better opinions. Like everyone else you seem to...naaah youre not worth the candle. Too much like shoveling shit at the tide.

 

[Que]

This is the danger in posting advice to someone else based on your own life. Sometimes the thread grows from it and sometimes the thread becomes thoroughly derailed and, eventually, loses sincerity.

I do not disagree that longevity in a happy relationship is a sign of other traits. So, if we're going to include longevity in this how-to, what traits do you feel have positively contributed to this success?

I suppose that, by opening this can of worms, we will also hear about the things that people have learned to negotiate, but I would include "compromise" as one of the things a relationship needs.

This will likely ruffle some feathers but that is not my intent.

On the surface I would agree that "compromise" sounds like a good quality. Intransigence, after all, doesn't sound like a very friendly way to run a household.

But it is a household...and it does have to be run.

My view is that leadership, not compromise is what is most often lacking.

How many times to you hear where one partner or the other sublimated their desires to go along and get along. Were they rewarded in some way for acquiescence? No.

It is well to build a "consensus" like five enthusiastically for a proposal versus two reluctantly acquiescing. What do you you do if you hand veto power to each other on every issue when there are only two votes?

Compromise may well be the way one racks up a long marriage. It was for me.

Doesn't mean it is a way to rack up a happy and fulfilling marriage.

Problem one is usually going into a marriage with either not a very good idea of who your are marrying or an unrealistic idea that marriage will somehow change that person.

The very best indicator that a marriage is at an end is withdrawal after a history of conflict. There is a lot of compromising going on when partners are too angry to even speak of their disagreement.

I was young and dumb sitting in a singles class designed to get us to be the marryin' kind as opposed to the fornicatin' kind.

The 34 year-old virginal instructor was re-purposing the prepared lesson material covering the scriptural admonition that wives submit to their husbands. She was adding a modern but soft, feminist spin on it suggesting that men are to lead after they solicit and obtain the consent of their wives on every given issue.

It seemed reasonable to me at the time.

Richard in the back, let's call him Dick, drawls laconically..."So....what you are saying is that you want to be in charge." I was quite sure he would be shunned at the mixer. Nope...girls hanging all over him.

Leadership includes responsibility. Someone has to be responsible. One of the first responsibilities of leadership is to put the needs of those you lead before your own.

I have seen examples of families that want to give children veto power. What a nightmare that is!

There are examples of highly successful wife-led marriages. There are marriages where one aspect or the other is led by the wife when perhaps it is a more traditional male role. For example the wife might well be the breadwinner these days. Or perhaps the husband is a complete idiot and a spendthrift with the money and must be put on a strict allowance.

But somebody has to lead....and the other person has to agree to that leadership or they ought not enter into a marriage at all.

We have tried 50 years of marital egalitarianism. It does not work.

I think mutual respect is HUGE. How many marriages involve partners that in the hindsight, you could not recommend in good conscience as a casual roommate? Some people should not share space with other humans.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

My dogs show no inclination to run off, mostly cuz there's no way they can do better elsewhere. It aint gonna happen, life with me is too good. That said, they aint happy with some of my practices...baths, nail clippings, shots, exile to the back yard when guests come over, but they don't hold it against me.

When my youngest spent the summer and fall in jail I usta visit her on Sundays, and ask her how the food was, and how the liberties were, and about the company she kept. Then I'd tell her about what Ma cooked for lunch, and what her sisters were up to, and all the things we were doing. And she'd say I AINT KISSIN MA'S ASS. And I'd reply, DOES SHAMEKAS ASS SMELL BETTER?

Longevity is the result of loving sensitivity to wants and needs and delicate hints of what could be.