California Directory

[Lance Hardrock]

Normal

LOL@burlap sack, Lance...yep..could be the new look.


Hiya Missy..hope you're doing well...and thanks, I'm feeling much better this afternoon...just about normal again.

Yep, burlap. That's what my mom used to say back on the farm. Yeppers, she had some burlap flour sacks too. Don't think she made any dresses out of 'em, but you never know. Anyhow, you look gorgeos in anything and expecially in nothing at all.


Missy, checking PM. None from you yet.

 

[Lance Hardrock]

This place is dead

I don't know where everyone is, but maybe these stories will bring people around the thread.

These are NOT sex, but are extremely funny (unlike sex which is only moderately funny)

Enjoy:

Subject: True Stories (Are these for real?)


Recently, when I went to McDonalds I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets. "We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the counter. "You don't?" I replied. "We only have six, nine, or twelve," was the reply. "So I can't order a half-dozen nuggets, but I can order six?" "That's right." So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The paragraph above doesn't amaze me because of what happened a couple of months ago. I was checking out at the local Foodland with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those "Dividers" that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the "Divider" looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code she said to me "Do you know how much this is?" And I said to her "I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll buy that today. " She said "OK" and I paid her for the things and left. She had no clue to what had just happened.....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly. When inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. Do you need some help? I asked. She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door UN-locker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenient store) would have a battery to fit this?" "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm too?" I asked. "No, just this remote thingy," she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper," the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor home was towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of repair and the whole thing generally looked like an extra in Twister." I asked the manager what had happened. He told me that the driver had set the "cruise control" and then went in the back to make a sandwich.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
CONCLUSION:

"Life is tough. It's tougher if you're stupid."

 

[enjoyingitall]

Well, Lance, it seems that something is occupying the time of the rest of the CA gang today.

But I got a chuckle from that post. I'm sure they will too later this evening.

 

[DrHike]

Quickie

In for a quick in and out to dispel the rumors of my demise. Just got back from a day of hot springs, mud baths and massage. Back to the real world tomorrow.

Have a good MM, already accomplished mine.

 

[1stTwistedSistr]

Hey all!

Hey Dr., how the hell did you rate a day of pampering like that? *lol*


"I want one," she whined! hehehe!

 

[red_lynn]

Geez....I think we all want a day of pampering like that.


Now how do I get one of those?

 

[sweet soft kiss]

Good evening all... I am just home from a hard day at work and glad to be here...

Hope you are all welll.... sorry to hear that you've been under the weather EJ...but glad to hear your on the mend...

Huggs and 's to all

 

[Orwell84]

Moring guys and gals.

EJ, good to hear you're feeling better. In light of Lance's stories above, please be sure to tell your students that six is the same as a half dozen.

Lance, great stories. Talk about sad but true...geez.

Dr. Hike, sounds like a great way to spend a day. We could all use some of that.

Have a great TT everyone!!!

 

[sweet soft kiss]

Good morning Orwell... Hope you have a good day...

It's raining here in L.A. !!.... Nothing quite as much 'fun' as L.A. in the rain... we need it...I just wish I could stay home ...

Happy Day to you all...

Huggs and 's

 

[Missy52]

Morning Orwell and SSK,

I hope everyone has a good TT day as well, Just started raining here in Central Calif..... Boy I can breath lol......I love the smell of a fresh rain..... Great to cya as always Orwell. You have been TOO busy working lately. No Time to play !!!...Ugg I'm ready to go crawl back in bed and just listen to it pour....... hhhmmm cozy sounding isn't it? Think I'll cya all a bit later, Huggles to everyone and smoochess too ...muahhhhhhhhh

P.S. GLB anymore kitties? <giggles>

 

[sweet soft kiss]

Morning Missy... I envy you being able to ENJOY the rain..

 

[Missy52]

Morning Missy... I envy you being able to ENJOY the rain..

Morning SSK,
Thanks It's nice to beable to work from home...... I sure dont miss the traffic and the azzholes a bit........, Have a Good Day !!!

 

[Missy52]

HHmmm, Here's alittle something for Valentines Day,, Gawd I love Chocolate !!!



Chocolate Fondue

12 oz (335 g) milk chocolate or semisweet
chocolate pieces
3/4 cup (180 ml) half-and-half or mixture of
heavy cream and milk
2 Tbs (30 ml) Cointreau, Grand Marnier, or brandy
(optional)
Assorted fruits cut into bite-size pieces, such as apples,
pears, or peaches. Favorites of mine are strawberries,
pineapple chunks, and bananas. Consider also using
maraschino cherries, seedless grapes, tangerine or
Mandarin orange segments, marshmallows, and pieces
of angel food or pound cake.

Combine the chocolate and half-and-half in a heavy pot and melt over
low heat, stirring constantly until the mixture is smooth. Remove
from the heat and stir in the optional liqueur. Serve warm in a
fondue pot or chafing dish with an assortment of fruits and cakes.
Serves 6 to 8.

 

[Dbtk44]

It has been, but I have a question. Is it possible to attach pictures to PM or no?

Red_Lynn, apparently it's possible to do so, but from what I gather the pic has to actually be on the web somewhere to be able to post it in a PM...i.e. having it on a webspace or a website, something like that. I KNOW there's got to be a way to directly link up from a computer, but I haven't quite figured it out yet. I had a short-lived thread asking that same question; somebody suggested scotch tape ( a real genius...*L*). Soon as I figure out how to do it I'll let everybody know. Nice av by the way Lynn..


Good Morning everybody! Hope you're all well, warm and dry..

 

[Dbtk44]

Hmmm.....Fondue..

Haven't had THat in quite a while...sounds VERY good with the Grand Marnier Missy! I'll have to give that recipe a spin. Might be fun when it cools down a little bit too..

 

[Dbtk44]

Morning Missy... I envy you being able to ENJOY the rain..

Best way to enjoy the rain SSK...call in sick, get a nice fire going in the fireplace, and snuggle up with a good Scott Turow book..or..

 

[Dbtk44]

I get the distinct feeling I'm here by myself this morning... just my luck...

 

[Lance Hardrock]

Happy TT

hi everyone. It is indeed lonely here. I too must leave for a bit as well. I do hope to get back.

Happy Titty Tuesday.

 

[Nigel]

Good morning, Cali!!!

I hope everybody has a wonderful day! It's raining here....traffic's screwed....it took me twice as long to get to work...

But I got to talk to my honey on the way...which made the trip all too short....

 

[Lance Hardrock]

Cool

Good morning, Cali!!!

I hope everybody has a wonderful day! It's raining here....traffic's screwed....it took me twice as long to get to work...

But I got to talk to my honey on the way...which made the trip all too short....

Hey that's looking on the brightside of things. I know what you mean about long commutes. Took us 20 minutes this morning instead of our usual 15.

And I got to talk to my honey all the way too. She was sitting beside me in the passenger seat.

Another brightside to the rain, is that the crops need it. My lettuce, onions, leeks, garlic, spinach and radishes really love the rain. And the good news is that in about 2 more months, I can plant a ton of good hot weather veggies. Woohoo, I love spring time.

Spring makes me horny.

 

[1stTwistedSistr]

Missy, that recipe sounds absolutely wonderful! And the best thing about it is that I just happened to get a fondue pot from my mom and I've been wondering what I was gonna do with it! I'm writing that recipe down now!

Hi DB! Sorry you were here all by your lonesome! If I'd have known I'd have come in and visited with ya!

Howdy to everyone else! I love the smell of a fresh rain! I'm really glad I don't have to drive in it tho!

Have a great day everyone!

 

[Missy52]

Re: Cool

Hey that's looking on the brightside of things. I know what you mean about long commutes. Took us 20 minutes this morning instead of our usual 15.

And I got to talk to my honey all the way too. She was sitting beside me in the passenger seat.

Another brightside to the rain, is that the crops need it. My lettuce, onions, leeks, garlic, spinach and radishes really love the rain. And the good news is that in about 2 more months, I can plant a ton of good hot weather veggies. Woohoo, I love spring time.

Spring makes me horny.

And to think, Our Lance is a Reg Mr. Greengeans woowooo you go sweets, Wow thats whats so good about living up here in the Valley, I buy everything fresh, from meat to veggies to fruits grown here ... And I love the Farmers Markets, where it's straight from the fields.....Boy I cant wait till harvest season..... hhhmmm fresh peach ice cream......... muahhh.. Any special plans for Valentines Day Gang?? I need some hints !!!!

 

[Lance Hardrock]

Taking my wife to the airport

And to think, Our Lance is a Reg Mr. Greengeans woowooo you go sweets, Wow thats whats so good about living up here in the Valley, I buy everything fresh, from meat to veggies to fruits grown here ... And I love the Farmers Markets, where it's straight from the fields.....Boy I cant wait till harvest season..... hhhmmm fresh peach ice cream......... muahhh.. Any special plans for Valentines Day Gang?? I need some hints !!!!

LOL@Mr Greenjeans. I prefer Paul James, the Gardener Guy, myself. I've been growing things for some 40 odd years now, ever since we had a small farm when I was but knee-high to a grasshopper.

My special plans are up in the air. The missus wants to go see the grandbaby and daughter. So she's using her frequent flyer miles to fly out to Kansas basically for free. But that leaves me home alone on this long weekend. We also get President's day off so that means Monday too. So I don't know what I'll be doing. I'll be on lit that's for sure, but I suspect most others will not be.

 

[1stTwistedSistr]

Spring makes me horny.

Like you ever needed an excuse! Right!

Missy, I'd have a million of them if I had someone to play with... but alas... no... sorry.

 

[Lance Hardrock]

You know me so well

Like you ever needed an excuse! Right!

Missy, I'd have a million of them if I had someone to play with... but alas... no... sorry.

Hehehe, you got me figured out huh, Cherrie?


I'll be here over the weekend. Maybe we can chat a bit.